Change is HARD. You (and all of us) made a habit of drinking in certain situations (which became most situations for many of us). Extra tired - drink. Worked extra hard - drink. Traveling - drink. Celebration - drink. Tuesday - drink. We have to actually RE-WIRE our brains, because alcohol becomes the go-to solution. This is uncomfortable, but not permanently. Every time you DON'T drink, new little pathways in the brain begin to form. The old pathways never go away totally, but they get dusty when not used, and the new pathways become the path of least resistance over time. Does that make sense? Making the new pathways feels strange at first, but if you can just get through the hard first part, it all falls into place. So to get through, arm yourself with an arsenal of tools (see toolbox for lots of great ideas!): Have a conversation with your kids (and really listen), call someone, pick up a book, swallow lemon juice, put on some music, exercise (moving the body helps!), say the alphabet backwards, pet a furry friend, make yourself wait 10 min.- then 10 more, scream or freak out - JUST DON'T DRINK. Cravings usually don't last very long. Your brain is screaming for alcohol, but you don't have to give in.
After the first few weeks, you will find you are much more able to deal with the shit of life. And you will feel things more strongly - after all, we numbed ourselves for so long, that once we take away the numbing agent, things feel a bit strong. Expect this. Take the time and space you need in those early days. When your triggers come up - the things you numbed with alcohol - the trick is to actually DEAL with them, and not turn to drinking again to hide. I think this is where many people, myself included, fall backwards. The good news is that with some AF time, you are able to think more clearly and you become driven to solve problems, not cover them up.
Be brave my friends! You CAN do this! Be kind to yourselves and trudge through the process. Because we are ALL worth a true, honest, real life - not one masked by an anesthetic.
Comment