Newbies Nest

[SKendall]

Hi Byrd, sorry to hear this. 28 years will take a lot of transition and processing. I'll be thinking about you.

[available]

Thinking of you Byrd, chin up girly, you are a very talented lady. xxxx

[Byrdlady]

Gosh, nesters, your notes have sure perked me up! THANK YOU so much! I called each of my customers today and cried during each one. I was stunned when my arse hole customer called back and was actually nice! And supportive! Glad thats done. Tomorrow I meet with my boss at 1 and then I turn in the car on Friday. Then it will be done.
This has been like a death in the family and tomorrow is like the funeral.....then I can move on.
Im going to be honest, I havent been this sad in a very long time....can't sleep and I feel like I want to throw up at all times but at NO time have I considered AL to numb it all out. THAT is a blessing.
Thank you so much for the womderful words. I am so grateful to have you all to talk to. Yall da best! Xoxoxo, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I've got my freedom back now that the grandsons have gone home, ha ha! Love those guys but they will wear you out, quickly.

Byrdie, I imagine you are feeling all the effects of sudden loss.
This time next week you will be feeling very different, I am sure. It is a blessing to not have to turn to AL for 'comfort' anymore. That bum doesn't know the meaning of the word
Have you spoken to anyone else, any of the others who were also let go? Just wondering if that would be helpful to you :hug:

Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[jane27]

Byrdie, so sorry to log on and read the news about your job. Thinking of you, and know you will pull through with your head held high. Love and strength to all my Nesters. Xx Jane

[KENSHO]

Hi there. Hope everyone's hanging in ok. I've had two post-2am late-nighters this week and I'm tired! I did reminisce about drinking for a moment today - but it was short lived. I used to get through these times with the bottle! Ack. So glad to be slinking deliberately into bed instead of crawling there clumsy and drunk. It's funny - I never would say that I was drunk. I would reserve that term for out-of-your-mind weaving people. But I was drunk.

I wonder what you will tell your boss Byrdie. Anything in particular you will get off your chest? I hope the process gives you some closure. It is obvious to everyone here that you gave a lot of yourself for your job and were great at it. I hope that you might have an opportunity to surround yourself with people who show more respect and appreciation for those efforts and talents. You deserve to be appreciated - and you are very appreciated here!!! :heartbeat:

[daisy45]

Hey nesters.....looking for an opinion here. I am livid!
My daughter is due in 9 days. Her boyfriend has his uncles stag do in Liverpool this weekend. They have argued iver this and eventually he agreed not to go. His mother has today bought him a flight and text my daughter to say he is going. She said his uncle is like a brother to him and she knows she is angry.
My daughter has her final uni exams 2 days after due date and is studying for them too.
The boyfriend says he is stuck in the middle. My poor daughter is stressed out and in tears....his mum text him to say 'who does she(my daughter) think she is telling you your mum can't buy you a ticket? There are control issues here.....making him choose.
I am also raging with him for not putting my daughters mind at ease and standing up to his mum.

[Lavande]

Good Thursday morning Nest!ers,

Still stuck in this prolonged dark & damp weather pattern. It's starting to make us all drag, yuck.

Daisy, whatever happens it's between your daughter & her boyfriend!
Support your daughter but otherwise stay out of the decision making process. It's their decision, their problem to work out. It hurts when we see our grown kids hurting, I totally get that. Most of all you need to pay attention to your reaction to stressful situations & be sure you know how to keep yourself centered. Everything is going to be OK, keep the faith.

Kensho, it's empowering to recognize certain situations where we used to drink to cope but now feel no compulsion to do so anymore. Real progress, huh?

Wishing everyone a great AF day.

Lav

[daisy45]

Thanks Lav....it's hard to watch someone treat her that way. I am good at letting things pass but had to have a rant......
I have never met this woman and have no wish to.......ok, must be good and stay out of it!

[aihfl]

Good morning everyone. It is a lovely day in Central Florida after yesterday's soggy and dismal day. It was 60 this morning when I let the dog out to pee and today's high is only forecast at 80. For May, I'll take it. When I was a graduate student at the University of Iowa, I remember looking out a classroom window at the beginning of May and seeing snow flurries. I'd better enjoy it though, because the 90s will be back with a vengeance by next week. I have the day off, so I have no plans except to stay sober and enjoy the wonderful weather with a bike ride this afternoon.

The topic at this morning's AA meeting was Step Five, "Admitted to God and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs," and I think this is a pertinent topic to bring up here in the nest. I was very violently physically abused as a child (I am undergoing EMDR therapy - Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing - Google it) to deal with the PTSD that resulted from that abuse. So I learned at a very early age not to ever express myself because doing so got me hit. As an adult, I discovered that alcohol, marijuana and later, prescription drugs (in that order) helped remove troublesome thoughts. But as time went on, to quote Mexican artist Frida Kahlo, "I drank to drown my sorrows but the damn things learned how to swim." There really is no substitute for interaction with other people, especially other addicts in recovery who can relate. Even if I don't feel like going to a meeting or I'm in an irritable mood, the "meeting after the meeting," is always worth it. And that is in addition to the professional support I get from a psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

[Rusty]

Good Morning Nesters,

I don't usually post here but I wanted to send positive thoughts to Byrdie and her PM box is full. Byrdie, please empty your PM Box. :-)

Here is my message: Hey Byrdie,

Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. I have been "laid off" and fired before....many times....in the last 30 years...but never after a 28 year tenure like yours. When you described how you were unceremoniously and callously told that you were part of the RIF (Reduction in Force), my heart just throbbed for you as I have been there myself. Your situation reminded me of the movie, "Up In The Air." I have seen it once and frankly, that's all I can handle, and I have been sober almost 4 years...it just brings up bad memories of being called into someone's office and then with a total poker face, the *sshole said to me, "We have to let you go." No reason...no words, just had to pack up my desk while someone watched me. I cried and cried...couldn't sleep, dreamt about my now ex-boss and felt like I wanted to vomit all the time. The shame and humiliation was impenetrable. I will tell you that my many job losses and gains made me a more resilient and stronger person. It forced me to REALLY look at myself and take steps to improve.

If you have a good reputation and you have a passion for what you do, and you know how to sell, you will find another job. Heck...who knows...maybe you were really bored with the people, your boss, etc. and you didn't even know. That was one of the things I learned.

Any way I can help you, please let me know.

Love,

Rusty

[SKendall]

Just thought I'd give my best, supportive hug to Byrd. You are right that it feels like a death. I think on the stress list it comes very close to losing a spouse.

After 30 years it's very normal for a job to partly define who you are. When you speak to your boss tell time exactly how you feel because it will make you feel better. Then ask him if he knows anyone who's looking for a wonderful, loyal, hardworking and successful employee because you'd like to apply, lol.

[Eloise]

I am going to pipe in that I left my last position in a school of my own free will, for very good reasons and it STILL was a terribly big adjustment.
I STILL miss my students and think 'omg, you were an ungrateful little bitch sometimes.'
It was a really stressful job I might add, I didn't have anytime to myself and could barely live on the salary. But it was an art job, something I would give my left arm for these days. And it was the perfect job for me, except no time for my own art. I have time for it now, and although I miss my old salary my artwork is moving forward.
This is a really valuable thing too. If I had a 'bucket list' spending 2-3 years painting would be on that list. And I know the older you get the harder this becomes, so I need to be grateful to have this time now.
So, regardless if you go on your own, or are asked to leave, both can be very hard. Clearly being downsized is far worse. Actually, you cannot compare the two at all. Not the same thing. I guess my point is, is that we spend so much time at work it becomes who we are, when in fact we are a lot more.
I thought I would be thrilled to have my life back after teaching, it is not necessarily the case, but it is great to have time to paint while I can still see. That was supposed to be funny.

[aihfl]

Hi Everyone, I think I'm experiencing some symptoms of PAWS. I'm about a month and a half in from my last drink and just haven't been feeling myself. First of all, I experienced my first ever drinking dream two nights ago. I know other people have reported having those, but to my knowledge, this is the first one I've ever experienced. I skipped yesterday's AA meeting (it's at 8, and I woke up at 7:45). I could have made it, but I just said, eh, screw it. I went today and tried to be pleasant, but in my mind, I was irritated with everyone around me and easily distracted. I spent most of the time reading the news on my iPhone. And the last thing, the past two days, I have been abnormally craving sugar. I've already had two extremely caloric macadamia chocolate chip cookies (they were BOGO at the grocery store), ice cream, and I just had a bowl of the sweetened granola cereal I buy at Costco. I'm on two antidepressants now, and I know they typically induce weight gain, so while I've always had a sweet tooth when my appetite's been normal (not when drinking), I am really cognizant about how much sugar I consume. I suppose I should be grateful that I felt pretty good for as long as I did. I've managed to rack up months of AF time in the past, so I hope the pattern holds and this will pass in a few days or so.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

aih, have you tried L-Glutamine? I did when the sugar cravings hit me & it worked like a charm. I only really used it for about a week but it did the trick.

Eloise, I left the nursing profession after 29 years because I was so depleted, had nothing left to give anyone. It was a very hard thing for me to do & I ended up pretty depressed & began my drinking career. Come to think of it, the depression had already kicked in before I chose to leave. It was part of my identity & it's kind of hard to completely start over but you do the best you can do, right?

Hi to Rusty, SKendall & everyone!

Daisy, keeping yourself healthy, centered & strong will go a long way in helping you support your daughter!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in this still chilly nest!

Lav