Newbies Nest

[frances]

For me, the whole thing came down to fear.
I was afraid to try to quit because what if I couldn't? (That fear turned out to be real )
How could I survive the cravings that hit me every single day in the late afternoon and made me miserable?
How would get through the boring parts of my life?
How could I face the painful parts?
Having given up almost all my interests, what would I even do with my time?
What if I didn't like the real me?

I absolutely hated where I was but it was familiar and I was so afraid to try to change.
Looking back, that seems crazy because just about anything would have been an improvement. As it turns out, other than the fact that it was difficult to quit at first, none of my other fears came true.

As long as a person is trying, there is hope. It can click at any moment.

Great post NS - it reminded me of an older thread that discussed fear: https://www.mywayout.org/community/ju...king-fear.html

Here was what I said at that time and it holds true:

I guess I was afraid of the unknown. My life had revolved around alcohol since I was a teenager and I'm almost 50 now. Everything and every day involved drinking. I knew I didn't want to feel the way I felt every day, but I really couldn't imagine a life without it. How would I be able to relate to all of those people I drank with if I wasn't drinking? How would I be able to be myself when a big part of who I was, was a drinker?

I am happy to say that these fears were for nothing. Going to social events and not drinking has not been an issue for other people - they didn't/don't care about me not drinking - they really only want to be sure that they can still drink, and as long as that's the case, everything is fine. I said I wasn't drinking once or twice and everyone stopped asking. We still had fun but I got to watch them become stupid drunk while I remained clear and felt great the next day!

As for being myself - I am more myself now than ever. I don't have alcohol dictating which events I will go to, whether I can or cannot take my kids here or there or pick them up, how I feel the next day (which was pretty bad a lot of the time!) - it makes me more myself and able to do anything, literally anything (!) that I want to. I am no longer chained down by alcohol.

Yes, it is worth it. The fears are there but you will find life without alcohol is soooo worth it. I have never, never had a single regret!

[NoraC]

............

As long as a person is trying, there is hope. It can click at any moment.

I guess I am proof of that:love:

[NoSugar]

Yes, you are! Your experience has taught me a lot and I'm very grateful to you for sharing it :hug:.

[NoraC]

NS - thanks for always being :heartbeat:

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday after oon Nesters

We finally have a warm & sunny day in my portion of the nest, nice!
I went & meet some good friends for lunch which is always enjoyable. None of us drink so that is never an issue

I wanted to quit drinking long before I actually did as well. It was the fear that held me back. That's when I read, somewhere here on MWO that we need to want to not drink more than we want to continue to drink. How does that happen & how do we get there? For me it was a combination if things - reading threads, the MWO hypno & the thought of never being able to sprnd quality time with my newly born grandson. Whatever it takes to get your minset there, just do it & forget the fear. The fear won't kill us but AL will.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF rest of the day!

Lav

[NoSugar]

You are welcome, Nora, but I hope you know what a huge asset you are to this site. It looks like l "got it" right off the bat. I joined, quit drinking, and never looked back. The fact is, all my day 1s - and there were many- occurred before I joined. I've even been told that I don't know what I'm talking about because it was "easy for me". I don't think we can compare degrees of difficulty any more than we can levels of pain but I understand why it might look easier for some people than others.

You, on the other hand, have allowed others to witness your repeated attempts and best of all, your current and ongoing success. You are PROOF that no matter what has come before, success is possible! There always is hope. Many people have briefly participated on MWO, decided to drink, and then disappeared. You, on the other hand, had a strong enough ego to come back and try again - even to be the leader of a thread! I am so impressed with your commitment, tenacity, and ability to handle disappointment and adversity.

Although I wish it were otherwise, I suspect that if I'd decided to drink in those early days, I'd have slunk away and no one would have heard from me again. It seems kind of silly but even my alter-ego NoSugar wouldn't have been able to handle what she'd have perceived as failure. But thanks to people like you, and to regaining my self-confidence by not drinking, I know that if I were to make that YUGE mistake now, I would come back. And try again and again and again like you've done, until I had the life I want and that we all deserve.

Thank you so much. xx, NS

[Matt M.]

Hola mi amigos and amigas

Not much to report in God's country. More big storms on the horizon.
Started the budget process for the city I work for, municipality budgets fiscal year begins in October.
A whole new world for me in the Public Safety world. Applying for grants, multiple presentations to present to City Council on the need to increase our staffing, the need to purchase new Apparatus and Ambulance. Lots of number crunching and politicizing. Very challenging but I have absolutely zero doubt that had I been drinking over the lady couple of years, this new position/ chapter in my life would not have happened. In the last couple of years I've attended many college classes, in order to finish up on a degree in public safety administration and other things.
When I was out there binging I lost all my career and Family ambitions. It was all about me and my next drink.
I am very grateful for my sobriety today for these reasons.

NS- Thanks for sharing that blog, things I like that are great in adding another nail in the Alcohol Coffin.

Great to see everyone and stay hard

[Hypernova]

Back to give it my best shot. Thanks everyone for words of encouragement a few days back. Not feeling great but will not drink today.

[KENSHO]

I love you all! Awesome post NS - so right on. I'm working hard this week so I can play next week - LOL! No desire to drink. A definite desire to sleep Thank you all for your encouraging words about my husband - specially the fellas. Lav, YES - distancing myself works. He has been better the last couple days. Hypernova - YOU CAN DO THIS. That is all.

Nighty night...

[daisy45]

My beautiful grand-daughter arrived last night! Brown hair, brown eyes, wee beauty! They will be home this morning.....can't wait!

[Mick]

Congratulations Granny....who the heck would believe you were a gran???wish daughter all the best too


:welcome::rara::welldone!::congrats:

[Justme Again]

Congratulations Daisy!!
Enjoy the gorgeous little bundle!!

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

I had real difficulty posting - the joys of living in a third world country!

Still going strong here. Not sure which day 😄.

Lots of great posts in the nest!
I saw my ex again. He asked some questions about me not drinking. I realized too that I pushed drinking in our relationship. He drinks a lot less when I don't drink.

Had some triggering moments. Comments from old landlord who won't pay back my deposit... Stress at work. I want to escape even though I don't want to drink. It led to me feeling actual emotional pain yesterday. It was weird. Strange to admit to myself that I feel hurt and lonely. Told myself to get some sleep.
And this morning I was just so glad to be sober.

Besides that two new opportunities arose that I would have missed or declined if I was still drinking.

Life is better without daily poison. Curious to see where it will lead me.

Have a great day!

[Byrdlady]

JustMe, these past 3 weeks I could write a book on feeling pain and loneliness. Feeling those emotions is human (and normal). NOT feeling them is the problem we had!
I'm going to watch some videos on YouTube today on interviewing. It's been 28 years since I've been on one....UGG.

Daisy, I'm so happy about your grand baby! I can't wait to hear all about it! Give the girls a hug from us!!
Hope everyone has an easy day! xoxoxox, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Yea Daisy!! I'll bet you will be a great asset to your daughter, especially without the distraction of booze. Happy for you!

It wasn't long ago that I couldn't WAIT for the workday to be done do I could stop by a liquor store and get wine that I drank half of on the way home, sometimes with kids in the car (said shamefully). I would engage in shallow conversation and get through the tasks of the evening with a haze, only to read my kids books with slurred, boozy breath. I would stand away from my husband so he couldn't smell me, I would sneak down to our bar and top bottles and it was never enough. I would awake at 3 am with a sweaty nausea (GOD I don't miss that!), and try to push through it, only to awake and being another day looking most forward to drinking hour.

How sad.

Now, though often tired, I appreciate the opportunity to provide healthy dinner for my family and look forward to giggling at the dinner table. I look forward to whatever show my husband and I can relax watching, or whatever book I'm reading. I sometimes do more work :cuss: but I then revel in the feeling of slipping into the sheets and NOT awaking with nausea.

I've learned to appreciate things in life that I didn't used to, and I view each day as a gift. My priorities are in line (mostly) and I am happy to go through the day enjoying moments. I'm so glad to be alive and I don't want to "escape" anything.

THIS is what happens when you stop drinking... Inner peace and renewed value for the good stuff life is made of.