Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Good morning! No self-hate or corners Lav, just back on track.

Thank you for the support, especially Snoopy, Inthesky and Action :heartbeat:

Great job on 9 days Tony!

I have to say that knowing what 6 months without alcohol feels like (how good and clear and un-wanting), makes going back to that place a little easier.

Gearing up for a hot day today - and hoping to be productive. I am wishing I had taken on one less project this summer. Need to get this work/life balance, um... well, in balance. I hope everyone has a good day!

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest!

Wow, it is busy here! Had pages to read! And it was good pages.

Kensho - glad you are back. Missed you. Have to say I had a feeling before your holiday and you mentioned the "fun" comment.... it hit a nerve. Your inlaws sound familiar too!😀 i take my hat off for you for communicating so well with your hubby. I didn't do that. Fought like an angry drunk and can only get sober without being married to him. Didn't want to respond back then, because i don't want it to sound that i promote separations, but for me, i believe it is the best, for now... who knows? It gives me freedom to be as un-Fun as i wish. I'm really not fun in most peoples eyes, i think, because i don't even bother to find out anymore.

On the topic of cleaning.... i stupidly offered to take care of some of my boss's dog's puppies. Luckily my place is all tiled out! Puppies are cute, but what a mess!!

[Byrdlady]

Justme, puppies? Yikes! That sounds like fun! Glad you have tile, too! I bet you are saying "NO" a lot!!! Good luck with those babies. You and Lav with her baby chicks!

Snoopy, great to see you here! Stick around, you fit right in (being a puppy, after all).

Kensho, your work schedule sounds horrendous. I dont know how you do it. I am taking a new attitude with my job (of 3 days). As I refelect back on the past 28 years I spent with the previous company, I have ONE major regret: I should have enjoyed life more and worked less. I rarely took vacation. Worked from sun up to sun down. Heck, to some degree, I didnt have kids because of that job. After a lifetime of busting my arse for it, I got laid off unceremoniously. It was as if I never existed. The morale of my story, life is too short to spend every waking hour busting my butt for people who wont even remember it a year from now. The work will be there when I get to it. Im not going to sacrifice my precious time with my hubs for a job. Make no mistake, I have to work, but Ill be darned if Im going to do it at the expense of the ones I love. This is a proclaimation to myself as much as a precautionary tale. Take the time to smell the roses, thats what I plan to do!

Hope everyone has a peaceful evening! Byrdie

[Lavande]

I am really glad to hear that Byrdie!
You deserve a life first & foremost, then a job

Justme, we all have to do what we have to do, right? You wouldn't believe the story of what I went thru with my husband
Have fun with those puppies!!!
I happen to have 40 baby chicks in a giant cardboard box in my garage right now. When they outgrow the box & move into the chicken house I will just burn the box. Easy cleanup, ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

W

[Justme Again]

Wow! Have to share quickly.
We have a lot of politics and management problems at my job which makes it more stressful than it really should be. An emotional story with people crying in meetings and others playing games.
This morning the CEO decided to march in unanounced and talk about issues...
What a relieve to have others arriving after me and standing there with inner peace. No smell. No bloodshot eyes. Nothing to hide.
Just me....SOBER!😊

[Eloise]

Precautionary tales noted Brydie.
I am sitting around waiting for my contract thinking that I will devote all energy to doing a good job the first 6 months or so at my new job.
Then I will be able to think about dealing w/husband and dog in yet another new country. This time none of us will speak the language.

Thank god I have a dear friend that also lives in Asia and will be able to lean on her from time to time.

Don't over think or over do it, words to live by.

Justme, puppies? Yikes! That sounds like fun! Glad you have tile, too! I bet you are saying "NO" a lot!!! Good luck with those babies. You and Lav with her baby chicks!

Snoopy, great to see you here! Stick around, you fit right in (being a puppy, after all).

Kensho, your work schedule sounds horrendous. I dont know how you do it. I am taking a new attitude with my job (of 3 days). As I refelect back on the past 28 years I spent with the previous company, I have ONE major regret: I should have enjoyed life more and worked less. I rarely took vacation. Worked from sun up to sun down. Heck, to some degree, I didnt have kids because of that job. After a lifetime of busting my arse for it, I got laid off unceremoniously. It was as if I never existed. The morale of my story, life is too short to spend every waking hour busting my butt for people who wont even remember it a year from now. The work will be there when I get to it. Im not going to sacrifice my precious time with my hubs for a job. Make no mistake, I have to work, but Ill be darned if Im going to do it at the expense of the ones I love. This is a proclaimation to myself as much as a precautionary tale. Take the time to smell the roses, thats what I plan to do!

Hope everyone has a peaceful evening! Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Hello everyone - quick check-in for now as I almost missed yesterday due to a 16 hour work-day!
Sky - didn't see you on the roll call yesterday - are you ok? how is your husband getting on?

Lav - Tony's cleaning service will be formed in around 100 years time if that is any good to you!!!!

Kensho - We have 3 dogs and don't think we'd be able to have any more at the moment but I'm still jealous of the puppies! Our 3 are all rescues but the little one (a Shih-Tzu) was only a few weeks old when we got her and she fitted into the palm of my hand! Good luck with them

Byrdie - due to the mamouth work day the Psychiatrist appointment turned into a telephone session so I didn't get to see the look on her face but when I told her I was 9 days sober there was a pause and her voice changed before she said "that's amazing - well done"

Eloise - As long as you have an internet connection where your going, we're all coming with you via cyber space so you won't be totally alone!

Have a great day everyone - Day 10 now here and starting to lose some of the acute symptoms!

Tony

[Byrdlady]

Tony and JustMe, I'm so happy that you are muscling thru and finding that there is life outside of that dang bottle. It was a real eye opener for me. I was so reluctant to let go of the rope but once I did, I fell about one inch to the ground (thought it was going to be like going off a cliff). The drama/fear/thought of quitting was much worse than the reality! Who knew? Just keep going one moment at a time and before you know it, you will be getting your 30 day prize from Miss Eloise!!!!
Lav, with all those chicken droppings in that box I bet it doesn't take long for it to burn!!! Bah!!
Hope everyone has a peaceful day!! Byrdie

[aihfl]

Hello Everyone, it's been quite a while since I posted here. I have a lot on my mind today, so this is going to take a bit, so brew yourself a nice cup of joe and kick back.

First off, I am amazed at the clarity of mind that comes after 3+ months. I was always somewhat "fortunate" in that I never experienced protracted withdrawals and considered myself "back to normal" within 3-5 days, maybe a week. But I can see now that really wasn't the case. A week is not enough time for alcohol to recede into the background of your thought patterns, and one hasn't done enough sober living to break out of the thought processes that took place while actively addicted after only a week.

With that clarity, I can now begin the task of rebuilding my life from the wreck it was from my drinking and prescription drug abuse. I am grateful to still be employed and have some stability, though I did considerable professional damage to myself. I'm starting to talk to mortgage lenders about loans so I can stop renting and move into a place of my own once again. With that comes the necessity of rebuilding my credit. I'm in the processes of paying off delinquencies to creditors, and these two things go a long way toward once again "being an adult."

I am also glad to be able to see past relationships for what they were. The one, with my ex-wife, is being gradually repaired. She visited me during my last stay in detox and did not use it as an opportunity to talk money, etc. She was just there to be supportive. Though neither of us wishes to be married to each other, she has left the past behind and seems genuinely happy that I have found some sense of well-being in sobriety.

My post-marriage ex-girlfriend is a different story altogether, and this is where I'm most grateful for the clarity of mind. I got involved with her while my divorce was going on, and it progressed too soon, too quickly. While I am grateful for the "caretaking" she did while actively drinking, it's clear to me now that it was not altogether altruistic. My first night out of rehab last summer, she had made plans to go out with friends to a bar. So my very first night out of rehab, my options were to go to a bar with her, or be alone. And she wonders why I drank so soon out of rehab. She has stalked me on the internet, keeping tabs on my activities and even logging onto social media accounts and doing me damage there. She has revealed things I am ashamed of to her family and even to my close friends (at least that part backfired - I have wonderfully supportive friends). I continued to drink though March, with the exception of a two-month period of sobriety in January and February because I was depressed, lonely and pining for someone who clearly wasn't good for me. The first "aha" moment came when my mother told me flat out, "Unless she held you down and poured alcohol down your throat, she didn't make you do anything." I understand things about her now that I never saw before. First off, while Orlando is decidedly not a southern city anymore, her family has been here several generations and are very much southern. They are clannish and insular like many southern families, and I am quite sure I would have always been on the outside looking in. I can't help but to think this contributed to her own divorce. I realize now that to her, I am always going to be a wayward addict and that she will never stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is not helpful, nor healthy toward helping someone maintain their sobriety. In the past, it frustrated me that she was less than compassionate due to the fact that addiction runs rampant in her own immediate family (bro-in-law, two nephews and daughter), but again, I think that is a byproduct of the insularity I mentioned earlier.

Anyway, I am happy and some days are better than others, but overall, anything is better than what was. Thank you for reading.

[KENSHO]

Morning folks! Thanks for the advice Byrdie. I value your thoughts and your experience. Such a good reminder to us all to enjoy our lives. It could all be over tomorrow.

aihfl - It's amazing how life just seems to fall into place when we stop derailing it with alcohol. Sorry about your ex and her childish behavior. Keep creating your new self and don't look back... eventually people will see who you ARE, not what she tells them, and she will look like the fool. Just keep going!!

Yesterday, my 6-yr. old daughter was in my office and we ventured into my closet to get some paper. She said matter-of-factly "Mom, I remember when you used to keep white wine in those shelves and come in here to take sips." WHAT?!? She was 4-yrs. old when I last did that. WHO WAS I KIDDING? Though I was surprised, I calmly said, "Yes, but I don't do that any more. That's not healthy, and want to be healthy and happy."

Like a message from the heavens - THAT IS NOT how I want my daughter to remember me!

I reflected on drinking during my trip, and don't really miss it or crave it - life is so much better without the unnecessary complication of alcohol. It's like trying to see through your windshield, and continuously wiping wax on it so it's smeared. You can still drive down the road, but you can't really see where you are going, or enjoy the view, and you are dangerous to others. Once you stop wiping the wax, the view becomes clear and colorful and detailed and you can choose where you want to go and drive with intention and dodge the dangers.

As for my "not relaxing thing", I am trying to just sit and chill, even though there are things that need to be done. And I'm having fun.

Happy almost Friday everyone.

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters!

I am on boy duty today. My 7 yr & 5 yr old grandsons arrived at 8:30 this morning & it's been busy, to say the least

Aihfl, good to see you! It's true that the clarity that comes after a prolonged period of abstinence is amazing. It sounds like you are moving forward in your life & that's great news!

Kensho, I am regularly shocked by hearing some of the stuff my grandkids remember. Apparently they really are paying attention. Showing your daughter by example is the best thing
The original MWO hypno CDs really helped me learn to relax without AL. I'm sure at this point you can find something similar online. Give it a try.

Hi to Byrdie, Inthesky, Tony, Eloise & everyone.
Have a great AF rest of the day.

Lav

[Laeot]

Day 99 ...
100 is looming ...

I'm up and down emotionally over the last few weeks due to the unknown future legal and driving worries ( still no word from the police or courts about my DUI but it's a funny legal system here in Ireland).

But ! I'm sober goddammit !!!!

Keep well all ....

[tonyniceday]

Well if it's gone midnight here it must be in Ireland too.

100 days for you - well done Laeot I can only dream of that at the moment! - 89 more for me to catch up with that!

Enjoy day 100

[NoraC]

Laeot - congratulations!!!!!!!

[Lavande]

Wow, Congrats on 100 AF days Laeot :welldone:
Keep thinking positive & moving forward. You are doing the right thing for yourself!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav