Newbies Nest

[tonyniceday]

Hi everyone,
Well it's going to be a strange Friday today, for a couple of reasons I'm going to be "head chef" in the restaurant tonight. This will be the first time ever that that has happened without me being accompanied by my ex best friend "Mr Shiraz"!

It will be interesting to see whether this makes it more stressful or less...I think it will be less stressful for the staff!

Anyway, off for a busy day now so I'll check back in when I can.

Have a great day and weekend all

Tony

[Eloise]

I think it will be a lot less stressful for everyone and far more fun!! :moonwalk:

[Byrdlady]

Laeot (your name looks like you bought too many vowels on Wheel of Fortune). May I be the umpteenth to congratulate you on your 100 DAYS!!!! I gotta tell you, when I hit that number, it was a real milestone in my sobriety....so much so that I started the 100 Day Maintenance Thread! You'll have to fish it out to post over there, but you are welcome to put your first post as a LONG TERMER!!! This is a BIG DEAL! We are so proud of you!
:horse:

Tony, your sober cooking story reminds me of one of the musicians in The Rolling Stones who finally got sober after years (Mr. G, you will remember who it is, I can't think of his name....it wasn't MICK) but all of his fellow band members said he played much better sober. I bet your cooking will be top shelf today! AND, you'll remember how you did it!

It's only Friday, Nesters, not a ticket to BoozeVille! It's just another day. We DESERVE a life! Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all

Brydie, we really do deserve a better life, especially one without the weight of addiction on our backs!
Learning to be kind to ourselves is an important part of this getting & staying AF process

Tony, we will all be with you cheering you on today!!!
You got me thinking that we all go thru a series of 'firsts' when we first quit. The most important thing I found was that there was absolutely nothing to fear. It turns out we are all closer to being our best when we have a clear head & heart

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[tonyniceday]

This is unbelievable. I would usually be right up to opening before being ready for service but:

Balmoral chicken cooked off - check
Venison casserole from scratch - check (although still in the oven)
Soup of the day cooked - check
All veg done for tonight - check
All salad prep done for tonight - check
All other stock inspected and ready to be cooked to order - check

AND STILL 1 hr 30 to go!!! SO I've come home for half hour or so with the dogs and a cup of tea before going back.

This is SOOO much easier without wine!

Talking of which our accounts department (my wife!) tells me that with almost exactly the same wine sales week on week, and restocking to the normal level, that our wine spend was 18% less this week - can't think why???!!!

[aihfl]

Tony, I am really happy for you that you are feeling so great after 1+ week of sobriety. I just want to caution you about the "pink cloud" that you're riding now. As a serial relapser, I know the pink cloud well. And there are biological reasons for it. During heavy drinking, the brain stops manufacturing "feel good" neurotransmitters, primarily GABA, but including serotonin as well because alcohol basically takes their place. And that's why withdrawals feel like shit. When these neurotransmitters rebound, we experience the pink cloud, which can last for a few weeks to over a month. But there are going to be ups and downs as the brain tries to find its new equilibrium, which can last 6-12 months.

I'm not trying to be condescending, nor discouraging. Just want to be realistic that these wonderful feelings that happen in early, early sobriety don't last. If you're not aware that they will sooner or later come to an end, your sobriety can unravel, as mine so frequently did. Take care.

[Lavande]

Tony, I suggest you print out a copy of your post & carry it with you at all times
IF you ever come across a situation where you are tempted to have 'just one', read your post as an instant reminder of why your sobriety is so important to you!
AL will make many attempts to weasel it's way back into your life. Just keep ignoring the bastard & retain the level of gratitude you have today. You will never be sorry

[tonyniceday]

Hi
Byrdie, Lav, & Eloise

You were all right! It's been a really good night and so much easier clear headed.

Mr Shiraz stayed in the wine rack and, on a Friday, Mr Smirnoff would usually come out to play as well but he stayed on the shelf too.

The only really difficult part was that we normally have a Staff drink together on a Friday after service. It didn't happen last week because someone in the village was having a party, but it did tonight and twice I was told "oh go on, just have one, it won't hurt you" - If only they knew what they were saying!!!

But all was well and once again we're after midnight so it's officially day 12

Lav, just edited this to add that I've written this before reading your previous post. As you can see the "just one" temptation was actually said to me. I know we're all riding a tightrope and could fall off, especially in the early days. I am trying to keep in mind the times over the last 3 months when I have fallen off and how shitty I felt about it later... Still one day at a time

[Byrdlady]

Outstanding, Tony!! Wow, thats quite a savings on the wine reorder! I figure Im saving about 10 bucks a day and Im approaching 2000 days! Yes, thats nearly $20,000!

Keep up the great work, Day 13 is right around the corner, you gotta hang in for that!
Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Hi aihfl

Thanks for your post. I too have been a serial relapse over the last few months. I did get to day 14 once and that is why my short term goal is day 15 now.

One of the reasons I feel I got no further before is exactly what you are saying about the "pink cloud" and yes, I am riding that at the moment and I am beginning to feel quite good. I have been there before and relapsed and I do not take your remarks as discouraging or condescending as we all need to see some reality checks from time to time.

One thing I really feel I have going for me this time is that my own feelings about Al, physically, emotionally, and psychologically have changed hugely. I realised that a week or so back when it suddenly occurred to me that, unlike other times, I am not counting the days until I can have "just 1" drink again, I am not TRYING not to drink, I'm just not drinking.

I am expecting to come down from the euphoria (if you can call it that) and my plan on that is to jump straight on here and contact the friends I'm making on here to get some sound advice from those who have a great deal more sobriety under their belts than me.

I do, however, appreciate your post... as I say, a reality check never harms anyone. Thank you aihfl

[Lavande]

Just jumping back in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Tony, you did great, good for you!

What's on everyone's sober plan for the weekend??

Peace!

Lav

[Justme Again]

Morning Nesters

I stayed home yesterday. I've been working 3 jobs the past month and it gets to me. Every job wants more time from me and it is quite a juggle to handle it. I feel quilty for cancelling appointments, but I must put myself, my sobriety first. Feeling over tired and struggeling to sleep, esp with pups crying in the night, does trigger the feeling that I need/ want to escape.

So I cleaned my whole place and for about an hour the floors stayed clean.... then the pups had to be fed again 😂!

Need to work out a permanent roster to have some clarity on when to be at which job, not trying to tear myself in 3 pieces every day. But it is still good... I would not have had this "3 job problem" if I was still drinking.

Today is day 80 for me. Needless to say, I am not on that pink cloud anymore. What keeps me from picking up is a real curiosity to be myself again. Heard on the Bubble Hour that brain function returns to normal after 18 months of sobriety. I need to know how I would feel and think then. So much drama played off in my life the past decade and I soaked it in al.
I am trying to figure out who I was before drinking. What parts of the devastating behavior was me, and what was al? Only then, I believe, I would be able to make peace with what happened and maybe I would speak to my family again.

I've reached 100 before, but 1000 days sounds so beautiful, so I will reach that too!!

Before I start to drink, I would rather stop smoking. After smoking the painkillers. Then I would be Just Me Again.

Dropping my daughter off at her dad today for 3 week holiday. Not having to worry about her shedule and my 3 jobs will make the next 3 weeks much, much easier...

But first, a good, relaxing, sober weekend!

Till later birds!

[Eloise]

Imagine how that wine spend is going to look after 6 months Tony.
I cannot imagine how much less we spend now, versus 2 years ago, after I quit the wine and my husband cigarettes.
He is not able to calculate the joy in these small accomplishment, I am however. :yay:

Onward to day 15 sober!

ohmy Just meAgain. 3 jobs? What? Sorry I missed this. Thank god you are not drinking, you will get through this period and mostly likely thinking 'did I really do all that?' Wow.

[tonyniceday]

Eloise - it must be something in the female psyche which makes you do the maths!

My wife has already calculated that me being dry until the end of the year will enable us to upgrade our usual January or February holiday to a cruise!!!

I am sort of going along with that but now the "argument" is about destination - I fancy red-sea/Dubai and she is after the Caribbean - I don't know why I'm wasting my breath - we all know who will win!

Just imagine that, though, enough saved through the rest of the year to make THAT much difference to the holiday!! It may be a bit early yet with only 12 days under my belt - but someone once said "If the dream is big enough, the facts don't count"

Anyway, enough of the flights of fantasy and back to the here and now reality.

Firstly I've got my second night as Chef so I'd better go and cook something in the restaurant, and secondly I was just looking for something I'd misplaced at home and found 2 (empty) bottles (behind a box, in a little used kitchen cupboard) I didn't even remember I'd hidden...I wonder how many more there are!

[Eloise]

Tony... Oh, wow... yes the hidden empties. Rather cross cultural now isn't it? :egad:

If you need any advice on holiday visits to the Caribbean later on just ask. I have lived on St. Maarten many years, my favourite island is St. Barths.
The flight in sucks, as does the ferry, but the rest of it is amazing.
Another good one is hiring a sailboat charter, SunSail Caribbean Bareboat Yacht Charters | Sunsail USA
You don't have to be a sailor, they give you a crew if you need one. A really amazing holiday.
Anyway, I am just full of good ideas today.