Newbies Nest

[tonyniceday]

It's morning here (just) so Good Morning to everyone.

Deja, I promised I'd reply a bit more later - just had a REALLY hectic evening at work (it's "Pay-day weekend" so really busy).

It is a fantastic thing you have done in talking to your cousin. Just look at the "likes" on your post about it. There are a lot of likes from some people who have got a load of AF time behind them and really know what they are talking about. I think that the fact that you say you have been able to start to peel off a layer of embarrassment is great. You actually have nothing to be embarrassed about - Alcohol has gripped you and you are addicted. That is recognised by the medical profession. Even more important, you are now doing something about it.

Having said that I know EXACTLY where you are coming from on this. Until about a week ago, the "I am" tag on the left hand side of my posts had the emoticon "embarrassed" against it. I have changed that, because your perception of yourself WILL change as days go by.

As you say yourself, and your cousin said too, it's little steps at this stage. I'm just on day 19. Yesterday (Friday) I didn't drink but that day is gone now. I know that today (Saturday) I will not drink. Sunday can just go look after itself for the moment. It really is one day at a time.

Just going back to the ups and downs, these will reduce with time. You may get some crazy physical sensations too as your body adjusts to having a blood stream back, in place of an alcohol stream. If you get anything like that then just come on here with it because someone WILL have had the same experience and will be able to advise on things you can do to help.

Anyway, it's time for bed for me here. Look forward to seeing you check in later today (Saturday)

Hi also to Byrdie, Lav, Eloise, Matt M, Justme, Avialable and everyone else

Tony

[Matt M.]

Good morning all. Day 4 and feeling better physically/mentally. That being said, knowing the long weekend is here and it's a holiday with friends in town and lots of social activities, I feel like I have been having waves of anxiety. Has anyone else experienced this up and down? One minute I'm feeling strong, confident and sure that I can just keep telling myself I don't drink, then the next I am feeling stressed and worried that I will find myself saying, sure why not, just one. Continuing to try and stay focused on the one day at a time mentality, which is not easy for me, but seems to be a HUGE part in sobriety.

Thanks again for all your kind and encouraging words!

DejaYes! To your up and down question. Especially in the first few weeks and months. Hear the good news Deja you are not an anomaly! When it comes to Alcohol anyway.
Holiday weekends can be tough, people that don't normally drink tend to partake on July 4th weekend. For people like me that was always a good time to blend in better, my amounts weren't "monitored". Looking back on past quit attempts there was always a reason or specific holiday or occasion coming up, so I played the whole " after this weekend, birthday, work party etc,etc...I'm done with it!"
Now I know that is all horseshit.
You can make it through this weekend, stay close to the nest and as Byrd says don't give another day, minute, second of your time to dickhead aka AL.
In August I'll have 2 years, I can say with wholeheartedly that this has been the best 2 years of my 40ish year old life.
Stay the course my friend.

Tony, good to see you checking in regularly, that is the key to success, we know we will not make on our own. Oh how I tried many times.
I changed my entire mindset about Alcohol, if anyone is interested, a book that really helped me tremendously was called Alcohol lied to me! I believe the authors name is Craig Beck, I purchased the audio version, I truly believe it was huge in my success this time.
Ok I'm officially rambling

Stay Hard my freaks!

[Matt M.]

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[tonyniceday]

Hi Matt
Co-incidentally I downloaded that book a couple of days ago from Kindle and I've only got to about the 4th chapter so far (and he does have [I]some[I] strange ideas - also I've never spent $350 on a bottle of wine!!!) but yes, I agree, you can see a mirror reflection of yourself in a lot of what he says (and yes, it is Craig Beck).

[available]

Evening nesters

Getting over winter but its great weather to knit up a storm and hibernate.

Welcome newbies, you will never regret logging on here and quitting al. Is hard as hell the first month or two but nothing good comes easy. I celebrated 2 years and 7 months sober on the 1st July. I will never forget the day i started to get my life in order, finally admitting defeat and that al had won. I could not even moderate dammit so the only thing to do was take it day by day and see if i could deal with what was thrown at me sober. It seemed the world was out to get me at first but i dealt with the "firsts" by not drinking, i dealt with stress without drinking, i dealt with beginning to like myself without drinking and now i live life everyday not drinking. Sounds so easy but was so hard, i pulled every ounce of willpower i could find to not drink, days where i said "feck it" i give up but logging on here or calling my children stopped me. I am so much stronger in myself now and i like that, i dont need al to forget/deal/cope with my life anymore.

Deja, opening up to others and being accountable was a huge benefit to me. I told each of my children i was an alcoholic (they already knew that), i told a couple of close friends and i came on mwo and posted like a lunatic anytime i felt or needed to. I avoided social situations as much as possible as i knew my al brain would beg me to drink and have that one. I poured that crap down my throat for 10 years badly so i knew it would take time to heal inside and out and i never thought in the beginning that i would win but thus far i have. Alcoholism is something i will live with forever and thats okay and i know i can never drink. Realising i could never drink again in the beginning was like losing my best friend but who needs a friend like al was to me?

Tony i love reading your posts, you remind me of me in the beginning, being accountable is what its all about. i shudder to think of coming on here saying i drank. You are doing so well and working in the midst of it too!

Finally i start my drug and al course in 2 weeks, i cant wait and a new career path started. Im excited but nervous and think maybe i am too old to study but if i dont try i wont know and i now have the confidence to give it my best shot.

Election night here, this will be a few hours of my life i will never get back watching it on every single tv station!

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Available, Tony reminds me of me, too! How funny!
You are never too old to learn, I just scored a 91% on the Florida electrical codes and statutes (a 14 hr crash course) I dont even know how a lightbulb works, but I completed it! This is a great fit for you, Im thrilled that you might actually get paid for doing what comes naturally....helping others.
Matt, so proud of you. too, coming up on 2 years! Who'da thought?! Things really come togther during that second year!
Everyone sounds great! Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Eloise]

omg I had to really think "what holiday IS it??" :huh: Shame. Shame.
I am a bad American, of course! the 4th of July...

[tonyniceday]

Hi Everyone - just into Sunday here...day 20

Byrdie, you think it's strange that you don't know how a lightbulb works, yet you passed the Florida Electrical Codes exam? Let me tell you something even more weird...

A am an alcoholic, and yet the Scottish Government granted me a licence to sell alcohol (for the Restaurant) now THAT's perverse!!!!!

Anyway, off to bed now - have a great Sunday everyone...Hope the weather holds out here because I plan to do more in the garden tomorrow...

Goodnight

Tony

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

We had a great Saturday & an early July 4th gathering here today. Our local Amish farmer even had corn ready & called us on his cell phone to let us know, ha ha!! We grilled everything & the kids played in the kiddie pool - perfect day & it was AF

Ava, I have a feeling you are going to throw yourself into the course & do just fine. You have a lot of knowledge & experience to share with your future clients
Stay warm & knit something for me, Lol

Hello to Tony, Matt, Byrdie, Eloise & everyone - great to see all of you!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Justme Again]

Late Sunday morning here and it is fantastic, calm and clear headed.

The pups found a home and will be living on a farm. Kids still with their dad for holiday. So, really quiet and nice to collect myself again.

Ava - may you have a great time with the course. With your af time and experience I think you will be great at helping people.

Byrdie - seems like your getting a hang on things!

Lav - your family day sounds perfect. There is a whole other dynamic without al involved.

Tony - hope your having fun creating your garden. Growing some produce yourself goes hand in hand with your restaurant. I find that I am way more interested in food and health when I grow my own. And live af. Eating felt compulsory in my drinking days . Now I think about food differently.

Now let me try to post a pic...

[Justme Again]

My lil veg garden

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It is one raised bed. It is winter here, so things grow very slow. Gave me something to do in the very early days on the weekends.

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Cloudy here in my portion of the nest but at least it's not hot

Justme, I love the idea of a personal sized veggie garden - very nice!
I hope you enjoy the rest of your 'quality alone time' & do something nice for yourself. I love having the kids & grandkids visit but they can be exhausting, Lol

Wishing everyone a perfect AF day wherever you are!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Sunday morning, Nesters!
The sun is out in full swing today and its 82 degrees at 9:30am. Going to be a hot one!

Tony, have you had the drinking dreams yet? The reason I ask is that it's odd how our minds change during this whole process. Last night I had a dream I was chasing an Ice Cream Truck!!! What the WHAT??? Go figure. Can you tell what my prioities are now? I trained as a dental hygienist in school and dreams about teeth falling out are common they told us. I guess you dream about things that are important to you. I've had many a drinking dream these past 5 years and me makes me DOUBLE glad to experience the regret in a dream rather than reality!!! I may have to address this ice cream thing eventully. Maybe there is an online forum where I can get the scoop! If not, I could start one.....ConeHeads United. I Scream Addiction. Scoop Your Way Out. Frozen Custard's Last Stand, maybe?

Hope everyone is having an easy holiday weekend!!! Hugs to all, Byrdie.

[tonyniceday]

Hi Byrdie

Oh yes!!! I posted about it in the first couple of days after I quit. One night I was dreaming I was in this weird night club type of place and I drank myself stupid. I woke up and had the most weird feelings "did I? didn't I?" then realised I was stone cold sober and it had all been in a dream - what a relief!.

I'm still getting occasional ones, but the most peculiar one was now that I have quit Al, I have started drinking loads of apple juice - I hardly ever drank it before, in fact only ever when staying in a hotel and coming down to breakfast and finding the OJ had run out - I had this strange dream the other night that I was swimming in a pool of apple juice - trying to reach the edge of the pool where there was a bar!!!

I really am weird - or maybe it's a side effect of the "happy pills" the Psychiatrist has given me...

Hope you're having a great Sunday and enjoy July 4th tomorrow (not a holiday here - back to work tomorrow for a rest after my "day off" today!)

Tony

[Lavande]

Just jumping back in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Tony, dreaming about swimming in a pool of apple juice is kinda funny, not weird, Ha Ha!!!
If you had said a pool of blood & guts or something I'd send you back to the doc to have your meds reevaluated, Lol
You are doing just fine & I hope you have a great day tomorrow.

I hear fireworks going off everywhere but can't see anything because it's gotten so cloudy. My dogs are sleeping right thru it, weird.

Peace to all tonight!

Lav