Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Hi Beaches - Your post came through while I was writing the last one I did!

You ask how YOU let this get so out of control. This is Al you are talking about. YOU have not let this get out of control at all. Al has TAKEN control and what you now are doing, by being here, by getting help, by whatever other means are now saying "NO" to Al - you have kids - when they are naughty, do you let them take control? I bet not... You just say "no" to them. They may try and do the same naughty thing again... You keep saying no, or put them on the naughty step, or ground them or whatever...eventually the message gets through and they stop doing that thing.

The big difference with Alcohol is that it is so available, in every supermarket, corner shop, airplane, train etc. Not only that but it is glamorised in advertising in newspapers, magazines, billboards, tv, radio etc. It is everywhere and difficult to ignore. I read a book recently, which I will not name as overall it was not particularly helpful to me, but the one thing I took away from it was that Al is a poison, not only that but a legalised poison, a poison that is socially acceptable, and one that is glamorised...It is also one that is addictive, can lead you to doing stupid, dangerous, and embarrassing things, and can cause you immense harm!!!

You say about finding other things to occupy you. That is right on track! I've got a project which is my garden (it was a complete weed filled wilderness and I have only recently started so there is loads to do). I also have other things which I do to occupy my time as well. It's supposed to be the middle of the summer here but it's cold, cloud-covered, drizzling with rain, and the garden is a non-starter today. We also have a major event going on in the village so I am surrounded by the sound of bagpipes! I'm therefore going in to work to do some things I've put off so that I am occupied.

That is a very important part of it.

One other thing from your post is the "stashed bottles". There is a thread on this section of MWO called "where did you hide it" It's quite funny but it lead me to go around the house and get rid of stashed bottles (I still find an occasional one that I forgot where I'd put!) Get them in the recycling bin - that's where they belong!!!

The most important is that you have taken a decision to kick Al into touch, you are on here and getting help.

Keep posting! and have a great day.

Tony

The part about alcohol being everywhere and so available is just what Iwas talking about with my daughter the other day,being addicted to alcohol is harder than say heroin,only because its all over,holidays,parties,bbqs etcs,people sit around,drinking and chatting during these times but you never see families sitting around injecting heroin and talking around a fire pit (Ihope!) So in that sense its harder to me,and triggers you all were talking about is another story for me,it can be a song on the radio,being invited somewhere, driving past gas stations where Ibought beer,dumb stuff! Yet iI can be around peeps drinking and not even care,totally odd,have a great day everyone

[Matt M.]

Another quick check in before I take my boys trout fishing.
Woke up to 59F°/15°C compare that to our home city at the exact same time 83f/28C at 0830 in the morning.
It is simply surreal.
We have been coming out here for many years, my Mom and step dad own a house in the Lincoln National Forest.
There are trails to ride Atv's, I laughed this morning because that is how I consumed my Alcohol when I was having to hide it. I would put cans and or bottles in a large submersible fish basket, stake it to the ground and leave it in the small flowing mountain fed Creek. Kept it cold and hidden.
I'm just a a few weeks shy of my 2 year sobriety date and I couldn't feel more proud.

In regards to my previous pist, I try to abstain from personal, political views and my local issues. However this Tragedy in Dallas really hurts my heart.
I hope to read back in a bit, but I have 2 little boys about to pace a hole in the house ready to go fishing.
I'll post some pics of the incredible views and scenery

Stay hard

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Happy Saturday morning.

I can say that my "anxiety" that I thought I was helping with alcohol has been significantly better and/or non-existent. It did take time, and finding other, healthier ways of dealing with stress. For me, hiking all over the area where I live and listening to podcasts helped me focus on ME and finding out what I wanted. To you newbies, I recommend The Bubble Hour podcast - excellent discussions about all sorts of topics related to getting and staying sober.

I am getting ready for a conference. I am not really excited about it as I am not going with anyone I know, so I'll have to be on my toes, networking and meeting people on my own. That takes a lot of initial energy that alcohol used to help - at least for the first little bit until I ended up at the hotel bar with strangers until 2 in the morning.

Bye, nest.
Pav

[Inthesky]

Good Morning all,
Well I have to say I'm back on day 1.... I totally fell on my head this time. Started by just having one drink of champagne to celebrate sale of house. And well that one ended up being a few weeks. My head played stupid games with me that I was just drinking because of all the stress and the demands for conditions to be met. I would have gotten so much more done if I had stayed in control and not let the AL dictate my world. Just feeling really disappointed in myself right now.

[Matt M.]

Not Snow just a nice morning Hail storm and 51°

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[Byrdlady]

Hey Nesters!
TJ, I have been traveling thru the ATL airport for 28 years and I never knew that darn train was directional! Could I have just been lucky for all those years? You better believe I will pay attention next time! PS! The doors WILL reopen if they close on you. (Dont ask)

Matt, hail?? Wow, today feels like we are living in a cooking bag. 97* and a heat index of 112. Enjoy that cool mountain air! Happy fishing!

Beaches, so glad to see you doing well! So how long has it been since your last drink? Do you have a Plan? Getting a good strong Plan in place really lays out a strategy. I learned the hard way that HOPE isnt a strategy. You mention being AF until your birthday, so I wasnt sure what your goal is. Maybe I misread that! I have taken on a lot of information lately!

Tony, around my Day 12 or so, I was alone for the first time. My hubs used to travel once a month so I would have a high old time when he was away. But you know, it has not been an issue for me. Its kind of like doing the right thing when no one is looking. When I drank, I thought I was fooling everyone else and getting away with it The one I was fooling was me. No one else may be around, but I know what is right for me. I stay sober for me, this is my issue to beat, even when theres no one looking. Early on, I had a company conference and we stayed at a very nice hotel. As soon as I got to the room there were two smaller sized bottles of wine (I call them pony sized, not full size, but not airplane size, either). One white and one red. UGG! Here's how you know you're an alkie: my FIRST thought was, 'This wont be enough to do the job!' So I put the dirty laundry bag over them to keep them from mocking me all night! As you well know, AL is all around us, we are going to have to live with it right under our noses. Thats why my butt stays attached to this nest! We are swimming upstream with this lifestyle...it takes support! It would be mighty easy to drift away (become complacent), but the beauty of MWO is that we can learn from each other. Its 1000 times easier to maintain a quit than to start Day 1! I sure learned that one the hard way. (I am a knot-head).
This morning I have laundered, ironed, and caught up on a little work. Heck, how can I be so slammed after 3 weeks, I only have 4 customers! Bah!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Choices]

Hi everyone!

Just read through... and of course related to everything pretty well. I'm super tired today, my little one wet the bed around 4 am and we've all been kinda sleeping off and on... It's nearly 10 am Sunday morning here.. so I'm thinking.. That it is time to well and truly call it a night and get up for the day! Or maybe I'm getting tired of hearing my little pony on the ipad! Ah, day four here feeling relieved to be sober. I noticed all the terrible things that this recovery has reminded me of. One being hydration. I've been drinking a lot of water, but I still feel so stiff especially in my back. I'm really looking forward to just feeling better. Getting there! I'm feeling really positive and not afraid which I am thankful for. Anxiety can be the worst. So I'm sorry if anyone is suffering from that. I just do a lot of deep breathing. And a lot of pushing thoughts away... the thing is everything can be worked out in someway, and the answers are not always available when we need them but being patient helps... or at least helps me distracted until some peace of mind can come. I never thought I was triggered either, or addicted to alcohol. But learned that I am when I eliminate it from my life. It is a total crutch for me. I've lived long periods without it and know that crutch is a piece of junk! And totally unreliable! Sober living is much more calming, wonderful and easier for sure. I freak out when I think of forever,.. so I'm sticking with my two week goal.. It makes me feel strong. After two weeks... yep.. still get a bit nervous just typing... but my ultimate peace would be a life without AL.

[tonyniceday]

Good Morning all,
Well I have to say I'm back on day 1.... I totally fell on my head this time. Started by just having one drink of champagne to celebrate sale of house. And well that one ended up being a few weeks. My head played stupid games with me that I was just drinking because of all the stress and the demands for conditions to be met. I would have gotten so much more done if I had stayed in control and not let the AL dictate my world. Just feeling really disappointed in myself right now.

sky!!! Welcome back!

It may be day one again, but your here and that is the important thing. I've just walked through the door from work, so I've got to go and see to the dogs and call my wife but I'll be back in a while. Just wanted to say I'm really pleased to see you back. More later

Tony

[Inthesky]

Nice to see you too Tony really missed this forum and how grounded it keeps me. I also downloaded the book today just finished the first day questions. Day 1 again I really hope I never have to say that again. I'm so proud of you !

[available]

morning nesters

I so agree Pauly, i say the same thing to people that al is everywhere. When my son was withdrawing off ICE he could not just pop to the shop and buy it not like with al. i still avoid going into the bottleshop, all of those bottles is overwhelming to me still. I dont want to drink them, they actually make me feel sad that something in a bottle was taking my life away.

Enjoy your holiday Matt, you were up there for thinking putting the al in the river to stay cold. We are a cunning lot us alkies. i still shake my head with how i thought i was getting away with drinking.

Sky welcome back. We stray from MWO in the early days and months is a sure sign we are drinking. I have been here since 2011 and it took me two years to realise that if i wanted to stop al then i had to put in 110%. The 5 hours of drinking i did a night i had to spend being committed to being and staying sober. I was not strong enough to do it on my own, to say no to that al brain of mine. When i stopped bullshitting myself that i was "okay" and i accepted i totally i could not drink then the journey began and it was very slow. I wanted to be "normal" straight away but some days there seemed like 48 hours in a day. I had a litany of excuses to drink, learning to say no and distracting myself was the key and hibernating from al for a few months. i learnt to stop justifying why i deserved a drink.

Welcome back Choices. Your name says it all. Take the choice of al away and life is so much better. Its getting our al brain to realise this that is the hard bit. As you say you have had al free time before and i remember how happy and settled you were. you can get there again.

Great pics Tony, your sobriety garden will look great when its finish. my green thumb is purple i think. Make that tree your tree and a centre piece. It can grown into what it wants to be just like you are.

Well a nice quiet relaxing day for me, may finish cleaning the fridge and may not.

Take care x

[Choices]

Welcome back Sky!

[Inthesky]

Hi Choices, nice to see your back too Thank you a available it is a tough road I've really going to have to fill my toolbox up again and learn more about myself as it is little voice that I don't trust anymore. Why couldn't I just start at day 1 the next day? I'm going to be hanging close to the nest from now on.

[tonyniceday]

Hi Sky

If I had a tee shirt for every time I have said "I'll just have one" then there would be several new sets of draws needed in the house to put them all in! -

Remember that letter you wrote to yourself back in the middle of June? Have you still got it? If so then it STILL applies now. Day 1 is only here for another few hours for you (it's already just Sunday here) and then you've got through that horrible first day again.

You're now back in the driving seat of your life now, not that b*****d Al! I keep talking about the tightrope we're all walking on and I know that I could have fallen off many times since I quit, but at least you still had hold of a safety line and you've pulled yourself back onto the rope and I'm proud of YOU for that!!!

Keep going - we'll get there!

Tony

P.S. How is your hubby doing?

[Inthesky]

Hubby is OK but he is still having bevies. He has said he would like to slow down which means there is AL in the house. Hopefully he will see how serious I am and jump on board. But for me I'm not going to let that stand in the way. Day 1 has been a challenge my oldest daughter stopped by with a case of different beers my friend that owns a brewery here had sent over for me to do a tasting and report. Awkward when I asked her to return them but she wants to support me. (I'm a qualified beer master lol) haven't done it for 15 years.

[Choices]

Oh that would have been a test for me with the beer tasting! Good on ya for passing it up. I'm on the same page about my hubs too. I'm not going to let what I think he should do or shouldn't do to support me stand in my way either. He is as supportive as he can be. And I'm tired of dragging him into it with my either drinking again or not and now new rules for him too. I've just done it too many times that I feel like it's all on me and if I am struggling.. Seeing any of his beer.. I'll just have to pour it out and apologize. He'll maybe be annoyed but he will understand. I did that when I quit before so he stopped bringing it home... And then when I drank again.. I'd drink all of his too... We never have been able to keep much al in the house.. As it gets drank too quickly. Mostly by me.. But my hubs can find himself in trouble too. Although, he seems to have a much better grip on control and has for years then I ever did. I guess all I can do is take care of my side of the street.. He does pretty well at his.