Newbies Nest

[Inthesky]

I have requested that if he has drinks I don't wanna smell it and I won't clean up bottles. I guess now that I fell into the trap once I'm guarding my AF with my whole heart and soul. I'm the same as you Choices I can't stop when I start and I don't handle alcohol well at all its poison to me. My thought process has changed too I used to think that one day I may be able to moderate now I know for certain that will never be. No more excuses for me.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Now that's what I call a hail storm Matt, ha ha!!
I'm glad you are enjoying your trip with your boys, special times they will remember for a long time

Inthesky, glad you came back now & not many months or years from now.
You have learned a hard lesson I imagine. Learning to disregard the AL voice is an important skill. Look in the Tool box for ideas & the Bubble Hour podcast that Pav mentioned is helpful.

Hi Pav!!

Pauly, drinking & smoking, both legal & socially acceptable (for the most part) have been shoved in our faces all of our lives. With a lot of determination we CAN learn to ignore them. We have to change our thinking about these deadly poisons & choose to not put them into our bodies anymore. For me it was a choice of spending quality time with my grandkids or continue on with my addictions. The choice was easy

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[bran new day]

Hello All ,
I'm back again after 10 or so , 2-4 week breaks from al over the last 2 years , but starting out is easy compared to keeping sober .
Time to hit the toolbox . BND

[Eloise]

You can do this bran new day, you just need to keep at it.
I started and stopped many times, but it was Brydie who helped me repeat those word 'i don't drink alcohol, ever.'
I said it over and over in the my mind, with a smile on my face, and it became my new way of looking at that sparkly glass of wine.
I don't drink alcohol, ever, and I like it like that!

We went to a party yesterday and I was not tempted at all.
I would never had thought that possible, but it is true.
I thought this morning about how hung over many of the party attendees would be today, but not us.
We feel fine.
Thank god and this site for all the guidance and inspiration to make this a reality.
The best news is 'yes, it is possible to quit drinking' and not live like you are missing out. We are not missing anything.

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Eloise, I second that!!!
It is totally possible to live & live well without AL
The only way we can truly convince ourselves is to give it a try!

Welcome back BND, good to see you!
Spend the day searching the Tool box & rewrite your plan. Cover all your triggers & plan to succeed. We can all do this with the support of each other!

The weather has taken a change for the better so I hope to spend most of my day outside in the sunshine, clear headed & grateful.
Have a wonderful AF day everyone!

Lav

[madonmehndi]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]2680[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]2681[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]2682[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]2680[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]2681[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]2682[/ATTACH]Hi Mady and Ava

Mady - you are now personally responsible for me delaying going in to work - I've downloaded that book and started reading... I may be past the 1st 7 days but it's a real "page-turner" I've turned off the Android and am now GOING to work!!!

Tony

Oops sorry LOL, ,yes told you, it is really good isn't it! hope you weren't too late!

[tonyniceday]

i still avoid going into the bottleshop, all of those bottles is overwhelming to me still. I dont want to drink them, they actually make me feel sad that something in a bottle was taking my life away.

As you may have noticed, my drink of choice these days is apple juice. Usually I just take this home from the Restaurant but I supped the last carton last night and the bulk delivery doesn't come in until tomorrow morning!. This means a trip to the shop. To get to the juice, you have to walk through the Al aisle. If there is no one in the aisle, I've taken to giving the al "the bird" as I go past it...God knows what anyone monitoring the CCTV thinks, but it makes me feel better!!!

[Byrdlady]

Welcome back, BranNew. As you know, no one tried harder to moderate than I did! It was just inconceivable to me that someone with a reasonable amount of drive and self disciplince COULDNT drink a little AL once in a while! After all, it's just a habit, right? WRONG. Addiction is something totally different and it has nothing to do with will power, it has to do with the pathways in our brain. Try as we might, our brain knows where we've been. Those chemicals get released when we drink and trigger a whole set of things beyond our control. Funny now, but being able to moderate was SO important to me. As I look back now, it only makes me realize the power of this addiction. If we really take an unbiased look at what AL does when we 'just have a couple' it doesnt take long to understand why it cant work. So what happens when we drink? We 'relax' and our judgement is effected. As card carrying AL abusers (or we wouldnt be here) what do you think we tell ourselves once our judgment is impaired? Yep, DRINK UP! Tomorrow is another day, blah, blah, blah! And so goes the cycle of this nightmare.

As Eloise so eloguently described, time and distance are our true silver bullets in this battle. Indifference to AL is what we all want....Immunity to its control over our thoughts. That is exactly what time and distance provides. AL becomes something simply to be avoided, like rattlesnakes and ex's.

Tony, to this day, I avoid the wine aisle at the grocery store! I feel my hackles go up when I pass it....DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! Ehehehe. Those bottles talk, and I dont want them to grow legs and hop in my cart! Of course, this is real life and I cant always avoid AL, its everywhere, but if given a choice, I move to the next aisle. Full disclosure: I avoid the cookie aisle, too. Those marketing folks spend BIG money figuring out how to appeal to our wallets and vulnerabilities.

Rahul, I really enjoyed your post a few days back, I am SO happy that you have found happiness in your sobriety! You should have your own travel show!!! Keep up the great work! How is the knee?

Great to see a busy nest!

Hope evryone has a peaceful day!!! Byrdie

[Inthesky]

On to day 2 feeling optimistic today.
Welcome Bran new day! I need to fill my toolbox too.
And to my quit buddy Tony double barrel that isle you got this. I'm kinda lucky in Canada we don't have any liquor in the grocery stores but farmers markets well that can be hard as they offer samples at every booth. So I think I will avoid them completely this summer till I learn to ignore that inner voice and gather more confidence in myself.
Have a great day everyone.

[tonyniceday]

Sky - I was just looking back to mid June when this journey started, to see if our posts then showed how we were feeling in those early days - and they do!!

BUT I came across this snippet from one of your early posts - if my calculations are right then it's your BD on Tuesday and you can STILL have a sober one...

But I have 1 BIG goal for myself and that is to be sober on my 42nd Birthday. Which is going to be my 29th day of sobriety.

[Inthesky]

Thanks for the reminder Tony....and yes this will be my first birthday since I was 15 sober and looking forward to many more. Big glass of apple juice will be my drink of choice!

[tonyniceday]

Hi Madon,

It was very good, Mady. I read the whole of the rest of it in one sitting this morning - so many things that I recognise from myself and from other people's posts on here.

Good Choice

[Inthesky]

Today has been interesting to say the least. I received a call from a friend who I haven't seen in over 8 years. We are friends and were good drinking buddies. I had a falling out with his partner who we didn't realize was very mentally ill and who eventually killed himself with AL (2 boxes of wine a day). In hindsight were enabling each other to stay in a dark place as misery likes company. When I explained to him I can't have just one glass I don't know moderation anymore he said he was proud of me will respect my new AF life in a full embrace and want to make me and husband dinner next week and apple juice it is.:heartbeat: I had to post this because I feel I'm losing some of my friends by not drinking but am pleasantly surprised by the ones coming back into my life.

I was able to tell him my struggles with AL and that I had found you wonderful people to support me.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Wonderful stories in here! Welcome back IntheSky.

Had a great restful weekend. Even went for a full body masage. After that I hardly did anything...

I am having a bit of a battle with myself. Specific things I have to do, I avoid, because I am so scared to do it. I realize that al broke down my self confidence (a lot), so I constantly have to convince myself that it will be OK. Just have to try and see how things work out. If I was still drinking I wouldn't even consider doing it, so it is progress. Just new to think I can do something or worthy of it.

Yes, al is all around us and made out to be this glam thing to "enjoy". Very integrated in traditions and daily life. It was very hard for me the first time to think of al in a different (poison) way. I felt so deprived when I was around people who drank. Up untill now I haven't really been in social situations to do or feel that. Need a hair cut, but used to drink with hairdresser... will go when I have a proper excuse, or in the morning hours.

Tony - there is a big difference! Must have been a good workout to tame those weeds.

Lav - everytime you talk about humidity I wish I could be there for a few mins to warm up. With 4 panels on 24/7 it makes it bearable, but the only true warmth here is under the covers!

Till later.

[tonyniceday]

Hello

Justme - I know I find this in some ways regarding self-confidence. With Al we definitely lose inhibitions and that may well be a part of it, for me I also find that if someone gives me what I perceive as being a "funny look" then I worry as to whether I've upset them when I've been drunk, or whether they might just be having a bad day themselves.

I guess this is going to be a thing that'll just take time to get that confidence level back.

AND thanks for the comment about the garden - I ache in places I didn't even know I had muscles!

Lav - What is "Bubble Hour" and where can I find it?

Bran New - I think I can relate to the 2-4 weeks thing because I never got beyond 14 days before and also this time, I had some scary near misses over the last couple of days leading up to the 4 weeks tomorrow - If you stay close on here then I'm sure we'll get you through those days together!

Byrdie - you made me laugh about the "talking bottles" - I was just imagining it - thing is they talk a load of BULL!!!

Enjoy the rest of Sunday

Tony