Newbies Nest

[Justme Again]

Hi Tony

Congratulations!!! So proud of you!

[Byrdlady]

Choices!!! I remember my thought! Thank you for reminding me!

When I first started out, everytime I thought about 'forever' I just got a sick feeling in my stomach. How on Earth could I not drink for the rest if my life? This is an impossible thing to ask of a girl! Now that I have some time and distance, I just gotta tell you, I now find the thought to be a RELIEF. Yes, a relief! I do not have to waste another precious moment of time with that decision. If I started drinking again, all those associated problems come right back with it, and make no mistake, I had problems. Now, I just dont have to worry about it. What a blessing. This way of thinking didnt come overnight, it took quite a while for me to accept. Just keep doing whatever is working for you and the next thing you know, it wont seem like such a crazy idea! It reminds me of cravings....one day you realize you made it thru the whole day and didnt think about AL! THAT is a good feeling!
Keep up the great work and thank you for jogging my memory! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Congrats on 30 days Tony,that went by fast!!!

[bobby boy]

Morning everyone , Choices .. You don't sound crazy ... anxiety is so real and yes it does lead to sadness . I cant sit down when that witching hour arrives everyday ... remember that for the best part of the day we altered our feelings with this poison . Time is all we have , whether its two days, one or two weeks , if it works for you then go with it . I am doing quite a lot of imagining ... my self staggering whilst my kids watch me ... my red face all blotchy from too much ... how bad I looked in the mirror morning after ... mum ... "you smell like wine" its helping me get through these early days ... keep your chin up , here for the duration ! x

[tonyniceday]

Good morning Nest!

Byrdie - what you said about "no drink for the rest of my life". I may have said this before but that was one of the first and really big things I said to my Psychiatrist on the 1st appointment. That thought of "never, not once, not a single glass - EVER" was a massive block in my brain. Now I don't really know what happened with this but in my latest appointment she (the Psychiatrist) brought that back up and said that I hadn't mentioned it in the last couple of sessions. It was only then that I realised that I wasn't thinking like that any more. Somehow, over those few weeks (it was before I was on here that I was first seeing her) that thought is no longer really there. Thinking about it now, it just doesn't matter any more and I just don't know when or how that change came about!

Pauly - I agree - time has flown by. I think that that is because I've neglected so many things whilst drinking that I've been getting caught up with (LOADS more to go!) that there has been less wasted time than in ages!

Bobby - You're doing great! - one thing you said 2 days ago was about the "friends" who want you to carry on drinking wine with them. The old "drinking buddies" who say you don't have a problem. It's not for me, or anyone else on here, to say anything about these people BUT maybe, just maybe, you not drinking with them awakens some deep but un-mentioned thought in their own minds that you are drawing attention to the amount which they drink themselves and maybe, just maybe that makes them a little uncomfortable. But that REALLY IS their problem and not yours! Keep strong!

Lav/Ava - I did smile a lot yesterday, to myself, because I now know the psychological feeling that comes with this goal. I don't know why, but this 30 days, a whole month, makes me see that this is not just a "flash in the pan" few days but that I really can do this. I may still be on that bloody tightrope, but it feels much more stable.

20/20 - That morning feeling (actually I didn't get it today) is more like the front part of your head feeling like it's full of cotton wool, I've always been forgetful over some things - even before I drank, but it is just a strange one. Sometimes it really does feel like a mini hang-over in the mornings - maybe it's just my brain getting used to things.

Sky - Remember the Oasis song "Don't look back in anger" - Keep moving forward - you know I'm with you all the way!

Choices - don't freak out about next week - remember ODAAT and when you get to the end of your second week just set a new, small, achievable target!

Mady - Congrats on day 10 - I felt great when I hit double figures!

And finally, I don't know if I should say this but it seems to me that with the new people who have joined or come back over the last few days and weeks that there are some potential "Quit Buddy" pairings... When you have a quit buddy, you can go through little things in more detail (in P.M.s) and rant more fully about things you may not want to go through with everyone. You can encourage each other and follow each other's progress and it helps to keep you going...

Have a great day...I'm going to work now - ironically I need to be there to take in the beer delivery!!!!

Tony

[Choices]

Thanks Bobby,

Yes, the visuals aren't great of drinking in front of my girl.. She is so little. I always felt like crap having her wait in her car seat while I popped into the liquor store. I could see her, she was fine.. but I felt like a heal. Na, it's better to be sober and not trapped in a drinking cycle. The cycle sucks!

What a difference a day has made.. I feel so much better. That is what is great about staying sober... the coping skills kick in much more naturally. It's more real.

[daisy45]

Morning Nesters!
I have to say I feel great! Could this wee angel that has been sent to us be making all that difference? I believe so. Went to get dressed this morning and went to say hello to her first.....she laughed and smiled and gooed......she is keeping me back from my duties but leaves a smile on my face and a happiness inside that brightens up my days.
Gonna have to check myself....she is becoming my subject of conversation!
Another thing that has changed for me is medication. I have had really bad anxiety for about a year and a half and after visiting the doc 3 months ago I started a daily medication......it has changed everything. I feel normal again. I was reluctant to take a daily medication (yet wine was ok?! What was I thinking?) but am so glad now.
Almost every relapse has been stress related. I feel some stress sometimes but not to the level I have experienced over the last year.
For the first time in about 5 years I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.....things around me are working out. I feel positive and more capable. I am grateful and feel a peace around me.

[Eloise]

Hey Daisy! I couldn't be happier for you.
Every time I relapsed it was anxiety related. I am sure you have heard this 100x but a yoga and mindfulness program could help too.
I have created my program by myself at home with the help of the internet.

TONY- Dude, you are rocking out! How cool would it be to be the only sober person in the entire village in September?!! I LOVE that idea!
Glad they gave you the psychiatrist time back. Anything you need you should have it.
I am so impressed that he can do this and continue to work. That takes some serious character, and you have got it.

[bobby boy]

Thanks Tony for all the great positive comments . I am calling you Tony nice guy in my head because that is what you are !!! I was born in Scotland but came to S A many moons ago with my parents ... My Dad was an alcoholic and this sadly lead to his demise.... I think of how I loathed him drinking when I was growing up ! Is this history repeating itself ? I feel as though I am walking on the moon today One giant step at a time afraid as well as excited ... all the other times I quit drinking I used a crutch ( meds - ) I am going cold turkey this time and I have a different mindset !! I haven't got to the weekend yet and have a friend to meet tomorrow for lunch so am going to tell her that I DONT DRINK ANYMORE ... The hypnosis therapy seems to be working I have done it twice and feel very calm afterwards . I have to be honest with everyone here , the more I read your stories the better I feel about myself .. huge hugs from me to all of you !!! Please stay here ... x

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Everyone sounds so positive and making terrific strides! Every day we go AF is a win for the good guys!

Yes, Tony, it is kind of an evolution of thinking....not so much what you ARE thinking, but maybe what you're NOT thinking! Hard to explain, but you will see that lots of growth is about to take place! My friend, Kuya, says that at the point at which we become addicted to AL, our emotional maturity virtually stops in its tracks. Once we start to heal, we begin maturing again. Can you imagine a 25 year old stuck in a 51 year old body? :egad: but over time it all evens out. Growth is a good thing! Eloise forgot your prize!! I'm going to sneak it in for you.....here's your 30 day hat!! :guy: (Sorry, El!!! I couldn't hold it in)

Daisy, I'm so happy for you. That baby sounds like a living DOLL!! Jealous!! Please give Lil Daisy a hug from Aunt Byrdie! :baby: I just checked Roll Call and I see you are on Day 30 also!!!! Let me grab another hat out of the prize closet!!! :guy: Congratulations!!!

Ok, back on my head as I start another day at the new job. Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

EDIT: I just checked Roll Call and Eloise is over there handing out prizes as hard as she can....the NEW 30 day prize is a galloping llama (but of course!) Sorry I stepped on your toes, Eloise, you are always so graceful about that.....xoxoxoxoxo

[Lavande]

Good Thursday morning Nesters,

CONGRATS to everyone reaching milestones today - yay for all of you!!!
I see lots & lots of success going on here & that makes me happy

Daisy, I quit 7+ years ago when my first grandson was born so yes, these beautiful little humans are the perfect motivators. I'm so happy for you & little Daisy

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day. It's hot & humid here (95% humidity) yuck. I will be mostly hiding in the AC.

Lav

[Eloise]

I am tired of the hat so I made the executive decision to switch to the Ilama, which you can feel free to veto.
And you never step on my toes!! :victorious:

Good Morning, Nesters!

EDIT: I just checked Roll Call and Eloise is over there handing out prizes as hard as she can....the NEW 30 day prize is a galloping llama (but of course!) Sorry I stepped on your toes, Eloise, you are always so graceful about that.....xoxoxoxoxo

[20/20]

Loving the Nest!

I still have about 4-6 hours on my landscaping project (to explain ... we built a new house and are doing all of the landscaping ourselves), but I have just sat on my deck enjoying the breeze and catching up on all of the past 2 days of posts in the NEST - so I have to say .... this is my new addiction!! LOL! Not getting much done today, but as I was sitting here enjoying every post, drinking some coffee, hearing the waterfall in the background .... I just thought "Self ... this is probably more important than finishing the project on time". (Deadline, because my "help" is only available through today). Plus -- I was just throughly eating up all of your advice and experiences!

Yesterday - I found a little yellow garden bird (I am a bird lover) and gave him a home in my flower garden. He makes me think of you all here in the Nest - as well as a short story I wrote about myself a year ago (A Canary was the main character)!!!!!!!!!! So it is just so fitting that I hang out in the Nest. I'm not sure what the nest has been like in the past - but it sure is a great thread now!!! I LoVe it!

So many individual people to congratulate and comment on. I'll be back tonight to post my comments!! Better get down there and finish strong!!! Later!!

[Beaches1]

Hi all,
Reading all the posts and the comment about looking forward to never drinking again really hit me. It's so much less of an effort and brain energy to think " I'm not going to drink" than all the hours put into the thoughts of "when can I drink, where will I hide it, when do I have time to get to the bank and get cash instead of using a card that can be monitored by hubbie, how many times have I been to that liquor store lately, have my kids noticed, how did I get that bruise, what did I promise my kids I would do and when.etc"

Thanks for that reminder.

[Inthesky]

Good Day Everyone,
Well made it to day 6 and still intact. Yesterday was a very hard day can't pinpoint anything specific but it was definetly a roller coaster of emotions. One minute of tears the next minute ready to slap anyone that even looks my way.
Cravings were all over the board too. My coping skills from the toolbox were definetly being put to the test. It was like bringing dice to a poker game. But I stayed strong and ate bacon and ice cream sandwiches (favorite foods) lol I'll have to check later to see if it was a full moon.
20 I love the nest too it gives me a sense of community and security. We aren't alone in this journey and it feels good to have people support you❤️
Daisy I love hearing about your little Daisy it brings a smile to my face.

Just heading out for a walk have a great day