Newbies Nest

[bobby boy]

Morning everyone . Neo , WELCOME BACK !!! I have only been here for six days so I am not qualified to give advice , but I too have tried a few times to STOP and failed to do so . This time seems different ... Read the Allen Carr book !!! and stay close to MWO. Have tried using willpower only to cave in ... I am so pleased that I managed to say out loud yesterday at my lunch date NO THANKS . I don't drink . My friend totally respected that , said nothing but ordered herself a spritzer . At no point did I envy her I actually felt a slight pity ! This is a result of the hypnotherapy I believe ... Don't be hard on yourself ... Today is a new day one ! Take Care everyone . Have a Super Saturday . x

[tonyniceday]

Good Morning Nest

Well the sun is trying to come through at last - we're hitting the busiest few weeks of the year now, yesterday was "Schools out for summer" across the majority of the UK so it's busy busy busy at work until September!

Beaches - I think it was 2 days ago now you put up a post saying about when you were drinking, you had that series of questions you asked yourself - we've ALL been there! It reminded me of something I used to do. If you look at the "Where did you hide it?" thread on here, I think I've played every trick in the book and I may even have invented one of my own which I'll put on there later to see if anyone else did it too! But the point is that we have to come to the time when we know that we don't want to be drunk. Therefore we know we cannot have 1 drink because we know where that leads.

Sky - I wondered whether you'd had a typo with your "bacon and ice-cream" sandwich. At work yesterday I was having a "normal" bacon sandwich and I mentioned that someone had told me about "bacon and ice-cream" as a filling and apparently I must be the only person in the world who'd never heard of it!!!

Eloise/Byrdie - Loving the Llama!

20/20 - Glad you got through your panic - I read the other thread - whatever it takes (!) you go for it!

Bobby - Having that lunch yesterday and being able to say "No" whilst your friend had a drink - that is a great step forward - being able to comfortably be in a situation where drink is involved is really difficult to start. Good job!

Neo - Welcome back - I'm reading a book at the moment which talks a lot about getting rid of the negatives from the past when we've fallen off the wagon etc. You've come through that - the only way is forward - you'll soon be back to that 3 weeks again. Stay close - you know we've got your back!

Have a great weekend everyone

Tony

[Choices]

Hi everyone,

Just checking in after a long, busy and good day. I had my permaculture course all day and it felt great to think and problem solve on things not at all related to drinking. I love breaks like that in the middle of this AF work. I think it was Sky that mentioned having a good day... Almost too good. That was me yesterday... I think that's called a pink cloud day... Can anyone explain that better? It's great, but the up swing in mood I'm trying to learn to just enjoy, but realise .. I'm maybe vulnerable, or susceptible to falling off the wagon. Really, any extreme emotion I'm having is becoming kind of a cue to be a bit on guard... But, I'll take a good day for sure... I see it as a treat after a few hard ones! I'm at the inlaws tonight. And a christening tomorrow. A lot of busy stuff this weekend. I'm really glad I'm going to be sober through it all. The thought of any kind of hangover and or bad mood created by withdraw sounds horrendous to me.

[Beaches1]

I had to read up about the pink cloud to understand it a little better. From what I understand is that it's that time early in our recovery that life is great, nothing can go wrong as well as a time we need to be very aware of to not let down our defenses.

[Choices]

Ah! Thanks Beaches. That's what it felt like!

[Inthesky]

Good Day all,
Day 8 feeling productive today, I sure hope it stays with me. Haha. Yesterday was a good day I rewarded myself by going and getting my hair done and a bit of shopping. I'm an extrovert person normally but while out I just wanted to come home as I was feeling anxiety around all the shoppers which was turning into impatience and panic. Weird but if I'm honest with myself I've usually had a few before heading out into the crowds with my trusty mug. ( I threw that away.)

Welcome back Neo! So happy you were able to turn it around so fast. I'm a blackout drinker and I used to wake up with injuries and not even know or really feel them and when I got to work Co workers would ask what happened to your arm, leg etc....I got pretty good at coming up with some clumsy comical story every time. believe it or not I haven't hurt myself in 8 days lol
Tony what's the book your reading? I should be reading Allan Carr the easy way to quit smoking but well....procrastinating. You should have bacon and ice cream it's salty and sweet. Just like you!
Choices, I too appreciated having a better day, I think we should explore the pink cloud abit more. Because as 20 said certain milestone days the AV is more dominant I feel on the bad days it's screaming at me but I'm able to see it for what it is. But on the really good days (aka pink cloud) the AV is sneaky and manipulative as our guards are slightly down. If you find more on this please let me know.
Bobby so proud of you and very happy to hear that your friend was supportive. Personally I haven't had to go to a restaurant and had to say no yet. I usually only frequent pubs so as you can understand I'm a bit apprehensive and nervous.

Wishing everyone a great Saturday

[tonyniceday]

Sky

The book is "The Happy Addict" (How to be happy in recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction) and it's by Beth Burgess. Can't speak for the whole book yet as I'm only 17% through (why doesn't Kindle have page numbers? GRRR)

Got to go to work now - back later

[Byrdlady]

Good morning all!
Great to see everyone! It's so important to stay connected to support.

The Pink Cloud thing is something that I have very mixed emotions about (funny, because it is ABOUT mixed emotions!). The worry for me about it is, it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. If Im not mistaken, in theory it occurs a few MONTHS after quitting, not days or a few weeks. When you read the articles, it makes it sound like we are destined to crash....that we dare not enjoy today because we will pay for it tomorrow. I just dont buy in to that way of thinking. There are simply ups and downs alomg the way and as long as we stay with our support we CAN get thru it.....like Lav did, and I did....and Mick and NS, and Ava and Matt M. And so it goes. If we are looking for an excuse to fall, it isnt hard to find one and the Pink Cloud sounds like a good one. Dont fall for it, it can be overcome just like DAY 1 can. Dont let anything or any body distract you! This CAN be done....it takes time and patience!

Im all packed for next week, I am heading to Pittsburgh for my Virginia State alarm license exam. There are about 7 of us taking it. Wish me luck on this one. Leaving Monday and will be back Thursday. This new job is kicking my arse.

Tony, I have never heard of a bacon and ice cream sandwich either, what the what?! I live in the south, and bacon is sacred around here, we love our pork products. It sounds promising, but I am curious as to the logistics of it?!!

Neo, maybe this is the wake up call you need to finally put AL in the rear view. For me, it took an ultimatum from my hubs. I never looked back, best decision I ever made (or was forced to make). Welcome back.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Byrdie

All the best for next week but you don't really need luck - I'm SURE you'll walk it.

And let's just say I'm not anticipating putting that sandwich on the menu in the Restaurant!!!

[Lavande]

Good Saturday afternoon Nesters,

Still way too hot & humid out for this old bird, ha ha!
Trying to keep my hens cool is no easy task either.

Welcome back Neo.
Get your plan revised to include no AL no matter what! If we can't tolerate it or our off switches are broken then the only sensible thing to do is not have any. That's the way we can be kind to ourselves

Byrdie, just wondering shy you are going to PA to pass a VA exam???
Anyway, good luck, you will do fine!

Wishing everyone the best AF day possible.

Lav

[paulywogg]

I'm with Byrdie on "the pink cloud" feeling, if you have a great day and feel confident it's because you had a great day or week,month whatever, if you had a crappy day,week month it cuz it was a crappy day,week,month and everyone has those period.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Nest.

It seems to me that when we first stop drinking, and maybe for the first year or so, it seems like everything we experience is related to that. It's understandable, because quitting takes work and we have to constantly be engaged so as not to drift back to old behaviors. So when we feel healthy and enthusiastic on a particular day, it's easy to attribute it to having rid ourselves of poison. But then it's confusing when the next day, not having drunk alcohol, we feel lethargic and sad. It's hard not to feel disappointed in the AF life or wonder if it's worth it or whether we're doing it "right". Maybe we're not being grateful enough or mindful enough or eating right. Maybe we just can't do it. Maybe ...maybe... maybe... It's hard not to be buried in self-doubt.

Before I ever drank at all and now that it's been almost 3.5 years since I did, I have pink cloud days and gray cloud days (or weeks or months), but they no longer seem to be due to drinking or not drinking - because that's not where all my attention is focused.

Just like real clouds, these pink and gray thought clouds come and go - for everyone. The gray ones don't have to be scary - they don't at all mean that you'll give up and drink. And the pink ones won't be improved by a drink. Enjoy those days for what they are and don't worry when they seem to fade. With time, they'll be back.

You're all doing great! This is probably the most hopeful nest I've ever seen. But don't hesitate to come post on your gray days, too! They'll happen but with support, you'll be able to get past them without a numbing drink.

xx, NS

[available]

morning nesters

A beautiful frost this morning so i am in bed with a cuppa and the heater on. I remember back to my waking up hungover and wanting to shoot those chirping birds for being so happy when i felt like total and utter crap. Waking up each day sober is high on my grateful list.

Lav it looks like you sent a bit of heat our way, i appreciate that one! Sheets dry on the line and lawn being mowed. I will send some rain to cool down your chickens as we have had enough of that this winter.

20 i read what you posted on your thread and great work on posting and getting it out there. My son had a 21st at home and i was about 9 months sober and it was so hard. i loved getting drunk with the childrens friends, there was so much al and everyone was so happy and drunk. His friends were telling me "just one" will be ok, "you have not drank for 9 months you can drink now", blah blah blah. My son and daughter told them all that i was an alcoholic and i could never drink so to not even tell me to have one. I had to go into "flight" mode and retreat to my bedroom and come onto MWO. To this day i am thankful for here and my children for giving me the support i needed to get through. I pulled every ounce of willpower out and i made it through another day. Just getting through a day is enough for us. Belated wishes for your 7 days, i was so proud of myself and dragged the kids to the calendar to show them i had done 7 days and they were all marked off.

Sky belated 14 days also. Keep rolling along, in no time the big 30 will appear out of nowhere. I get the anxiety going out in public. I used to pop a xanax to go out and the main reason i went was to buy al. I got to the stage where i could not even sign my name without shaking like mad so i would only go out if i had a PIN for the card i was using. Put that down to anxiety but it was the DT's from no al. Now i still hate going to the shops where there are lots of people but if it needs to be done it needs to be done.

Neo i hope your head injury gets you on the way to not drinking. i fractured my cheekbone falling onto a ceramic pot plant after blacking out. Keep on here and posting. It will only get worse if you keep drinking.

Bob, 7 days, yeah! The nest is certainly having some great accomplishments with the newbies, it is so good to see.

Tony how is that garden going now? Hope you still have time for it as you mentioned you were coming into the busy time at work. I still dont no how you deal with al around you everyday. Thats one strong commitment you have there!

I agree with Byrd and NS on the pink cloud theory. We have ups and downs drinking or not drinking. I have them now where life cruises along then BOOM crap rains down on me. Now i deal with it without falling back to al. This journey of sobriety is not easy, its one of the hardest I have been on with more ups and downs than a brides nighty but as long as we keep going day by day or minute by minute we get through. things in life that made me want to drink dont worry me at all now. Its learning to live without reverting to al as a crutch, its learning to deal emotionally without al, its learning to like ourselves without al and living life without wanting to black it out with al. Just stopping drinking does not make life sunshine and roses, it is a process of learning to be who we actually were before we lost it by drinking.

Wow what a waffle. Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Byrdie, just wondering shy you are going to PA to pass a VA exam???
Anyway, good luck, you will do fine!

Lav

Lav, all I can figure is that my company is a burglar alarm company and they have 6 or 7 employees needing to take this thing and they are bringing in a Virginia state examiner to teach the class and administer the test for us. In fact, Im bumming a ride with him to the office on Tuesday. I cant tell you how much Im dreading this. Oy.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Just spent several hours with my granddaughter, fun times!

Byrdie, no dreading necessary. You know by now that we will all be there with you in spirit
Looks like it's going to be hot up here again next week so try to keep yourself cool!

Hi there NS & kuya, great to see both of you!

Ava, enjoy your somewhat improved weather. My chickens will appreciate some cool rain if you can manage to get it here, ha ha!

Hi Pauly!

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav