Newbies Nest

[bobby boy]

Thanks Byrdie !!! Firstly Well done on passing the exam . You still found the time to check on the nest , really appreciate that . I will repeat tests in a months time ... :thumbsup:

[bobby boy]

Morning everyone . Friday sure comes around super fast ! Feeling good today , looking forward to the weekend without any alcohol . Still doing my hypnotherapy (really is helping ) . Well done Dutch on 500 days . :welldone: Baby on the way.. so special ! Hope everyone else is doing well ... some birds have left the nest I see , are all just busy with work ect ?... Have a super Friday x

[available]

evening nesters

a busy week at work for me and started my drug and al and mental health course. wow so much to learn and i feel its going to be quite emotional for me also. as the teacher says there is always an underlying cause of why we become addicts. Out of 5 of us in the course only 1 is not recovering from an addiction. Work has been better since i stopped communicating with the colleague that was a huge part of my stress. I dont think he has worked so much in two weeks than he has for the last 30 years. If he has any issues he has to go to the office manager and he is too scared to do that, before i was the brunt of his refusal to do his job. I could kick myself that i did not do this 8 plus years ago.

Bobby that was hilarious about the car guard. i used to have 5 bottle shops i rotated around but half the time i forgot which one i went to the day before. So lovely of you to give him your al money and be honest in saying you dont drink anymore. It also makes you accountable not to buy al as you told him you dont drink. Win win.

Tony i read what you wrote to Fin and i have been there and done that with my thoughts. Early in my quit my anger levels were pretty damn high and it may have been a knee jerk reaction but its how you felt. We all have opinions regarding our journey on recovery. I know if i drank tomorrow my way of thinking would be to go back to day one, if i stopped again that is! Every single sober day we have is a bonus to an alcoholic, keeping those days going is one of the hardest things to achieve for us also. Al is such a powerful mind fuck drug in my opinion and it takes a long time to accept we cant drink and to live without drinking. I never ever ever thought i could achieve what others had and i had a lot of oldies quite frustrated with me and my justifications but i eventually "got it". Some of us "get it" and some of us dont. My focus is on me and getting the support i need and maybe saying something that could help someone.

I have my boys visiting this weekend. Boys are so much messier than girls but i love to see them. Back to hibernating as lots of rain and cold. I love hibernating in winter.

Take care x

[Inthesky]

Happy Friday everyone,
Been a very busy week packing and downsizing my house for move next week. Bobby yeah the nest has been very quiet over the past week I noticed too. I will be sticking close to it as I've had a few close calls this week. The AV voice seems to want to reward me for working so hard. Lol My hardest time has been from 4 to 8pm (witching hour) the good thing is the cravings for AL only last 5-10 minutes but more frequent when there is company over. The really weird part is when the clock strikes 8pm I'm ready for a tea and to relax.
I paid extra attention to my triggers this week one I particular is a friend of mine, she brings out anxiety and insecurities in me (especially when I was drinking AL). Not sure how to deal with her yet. Just happy to be moving away lol. She is the friend that would text me the next day and tell me I should go to a fancy rehab but then bring over drinks and help me start up again. Even this week stopped over and brought AL and tried to get me to try it. Intentional sabatoge!
Well enough of my woes, gonna try to have a great AF weekend.

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

CONGRATS on your 500 AF days Dutch & on the new baby as well :welldone:
Continue healing & stay on your current path.

Byrdie, you need to immerse yourself in cookies this weekend. I know this change has been rough on you but you have made it thru :hug:

Ava, good luck with your studies. You will be successful at helping others, for sure.
Enjoy those messy boys!!

Inthesky, maybe making some new friends would be in your best interest. We all probably haveca friend like that, who needs them? Good luck with your move!

I'm busy trying to keep my poor chickens cool in this massive heat wave. I have 4 fans running in their coop & keep running ice water & frozen treats out for them. Good exercise for me, ha ha!

Have a great AF day Everyone!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Thank you, Lav, I really like the new company, but they really threw me into the deep end. The amout of paperwork needed to do stuff is just incredible. It was tho, at my old company, but I knew how to do it. These forms are quirky...that along with Windows 10 and constant crises is mind boggling. I got over 200 emails today! I had a big proposal to get to a prospect today and dont ask me how, I got it done. It was a complicated quote using all of our products (which I know very little about). Having to rely heavily on others, I hate that.
This job has certainly taken my mind off of lising my old one!
Sky, my witching hours were from 4-8 also, once I passed 8, I had it made. I never want to have to tackle those again. Getting thru those hours without thinking about them is such a blessing.
Dutch, GREAT to see you!
Ava, you are going to make an incredible counselor! I think I would have issues foing to a counselor who wasnt a recovering alkie. How could a normal drinker possibly understand what goes on in our heads? Im sure there are 1000's od addiction counselors out there who arent alkies but I wonder how effective they are. Like going to a fat weight loss doctor, ehehehe, unless you've lost weight yourself, how can you tell me how it feels? I tell you, we had a nester one time many years ago who was an addiction counselor and she was clueless. If she disnt have an AL problem, why was she here? Her take on the whole subject was just flippant, for a while I just thought she was a kid on her parent's computer logging in for kicks, but then she told us she was an addiction conselor! Aye, aye, aye! Like anything else, there are good ones and bad ones. I can tell you this, you are going to be a good one!
Hoping to relax and unwind this weekend, no Al in sight! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Hi Nesters

I've had a completely different craving tonight from those I've experienced so far. Previously there has been the "witching hour" which Sky and Byrdie mentioned (although, shamefully, mine is 10 AM(!) to around 2pm, after 2 I'm ok... Also I've had all the cravings when you feel like you could have a drink to escape reality, or be able to ignore things you don't want to do etc

But tonight we had a cracking good night at work, broke all records for the number of customers and for money taken, and by a long way as well. Everyone was happy and I started having these thoughts of how nice it would be to sit down with a glass of wine and celebrate that... I've not had THAT sort of craving before, and of course I didn't do it because it wouldn't have finished with A glass of wine and we all know that. It was just a new type of craving if you know what I mean.

And Byrdie, I said to my Psychiatrist in one session "You know, only alcoholics can truly understand other alcoholics"...she was NOT impressed... but it's true

Tony

[Guitarista]

Yo! W'dup nesters?

Gr8 stuff Tony!

I'm just checking in and am happy to record day freakin 8. I haven't been posting much because i'm thinking less talk more action G man and will continue this (lurking) approach for now. This site is so jam packed full of camaraderie, information, inspiration, motivation it makes sense, but also feels good to keep connected.

All is ok my friends. I just need to break this silly little spell i have been under of 2-3-4+ months then back to boozin. Not what i want. Onwards to 6 months one day at a time. Running a 10k race on sunday with thousands of others. That'll sure get a fella out of himself.

Thinking of you all. Go git 'em!

[Dutch1988]

Checking in again because I have a bout of insomnia, only on the days you have to wake up early right? I have about three hours to sleep then go to work but it was comforting to read byrdy and your struggles with the new job, change can be tough but it sounds like your keeping a good attitude

Welcome tony and Bobby since I haven't really been catching up. I went to the gym tonight and did my workout which is all legs, I have been enjoying the extra time with my wife and daughter, and getting some sop stuff done at work, the struggle to rehab my hand continues, at this rate I am pulling an all nighter, good thing I don't drink I can just go to work tired, probably better than the many times I went hung over

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest!

Its 2pm and I am still in bed... hectic, hectic week.

Great reading what went on in the Nest this week. Progress, come backs and old timers.

Ava - my family and I have spent thousands on counseling with no results. Sometimes I remember their faces and the "advice" and "working plans" they gave...
It was all good points if you live in Lala-land. Glad I found addicts to help me sort this out.

Bobby & Sky & BND - Really like your progress and thoughts.

Byrd - good view on the pink cloud. Happy you passed that exam.

Tony - I admire how you tackle your AF life. Your posts have good info. Of course there will be difference in opinions, but thats how we figure things out for ourselves.

I am so busy these days, because I am trying to figure out if I should buy and permanently commit to a business. It required working 12 hrs a day and coming home late. Too tired to think about alcohol
Next 2 weeks I have to make a decision...
I could complain, it is hard, but I have this tremendous inner joy knowing that none of this would have been possible with my back stabber "friend" Al.

In this busy time I passed the 100 day mark. Today is 108!
It was at this point, 5 years ago, that I started drinking again...
It was very difficult and horrible to drink 2L (one normal glass less than 3 bottles!!!) of disgusting, cheap, sweet, white wine a night. Quality vinegar and sugar would probably taste better. Most difficult part was trying to hide it.

Why not start drinking now?
Today I have NO DOUBT that I am an alcoholic. I have permanently crossed the line. My brain and body cannot process alcohol anymore. I know I would be really physically sick if I consume alcohol again. It is a major poison to me.

My life with al would be a sad story of an addict and my children would have the same childhood that I had. A life full of posibilities wasted.
My life without al have just started to unfold and I want to see where that takes me.

It is disturbing to see what is happening world wide. And I came to believe that this perfectly packaged poison is part of many ways ordinary people are trapped into systems they don't want to be in. Alcohol is a trap.

I want nothing to do with it anymore.

On that non-pink-cloud note I have to go.

Happy Saturday!

[Byrdlady]

JustMe, I wonder if you would tuck that post in the Tool Box for safe keeping? I tell you, a BIG part of the recovery process is accepting that AL is no longer an option for us if we want to live a happy life. There is just no going back to normal, controlled drinking once that line of obsessive behavior is crossed. Its a lot to accept, but wishing and hoping that we can drink again really only serves to hold us back. It keeps us stuck in that in between time where we feel we dont belong where we are (not drinking) in hopes to moving to where we want to be (controlled drinking). Once we get that significant time and distance from AL, we can see just how unimportant it really is! That takes TIME. We are an impatient lot, we want to be fixed now. The consecutive, AF days are what is going to fix this.....nothing else. Everytime I reintroduced AL in any amount, I went back to square one, day 1. This is addiction, brain chemisrty.....neural pathway stuff. Everyone, deep down, knows that addiction wants one thing.....to be fed. Each time we feed it, it gains strength. We may not want to accept this, but we all really do KNOW it. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF.
Tony, it is normal to want to celebrate an accomplishment with a drink or twelve. Thats just how we roll. You got thru it so next time you will recognize that its only the addiction talking. You got this! So proud of you! Keep up the great work.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Congratulations on 108 days Just me!! Fantastic work

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Crazy day here with wicked storms, power outages, trees down in the area & all that stuff.

Glad to see everyone doing well with positive reports!
Congrats on 108 AF days Justme :welldone:
Welcome back G.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[daisy45]

Hi Nesters. Scraped through to day 40 today. Last night I was silly enough to have a 'feck it' and had wine in the fridge ready to go,
I was saved by an unexpected message from Mick. That brought me back to reality and I ditched my boozy plan. Today I am so grateful.
But, now I see that I need to do something today to strengthen my resolve and make sure I do not go down this road again.
I did not contact anyone because I did not want to hear 'no'. Knowing I am like this is what I need to work on. How to keep going when I don't want to in that moment.....in the cold light of day I am so grateful not to have gone there but a close call.

[Maitae]

Hi
I'm really new. Is this the right place to post? I want to stop drinking I've had enough of this boozy life.