Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Available, I think that's exactly what is going on with that acquaintance of yours....jealousy. Obviously, self-control eludes her so she must tamp you down in order to feel better about herself. Pay no mind to the ramblings of those who 'piss on our rainbows'. Maybe in some way they make them shine brighter, we know what it took to get here and we have a sense of pride and accomplishment (rather than feeling like a failure).

Off to the races here! Hope everyone has a good day. Byrdie

[daisy45]

Oh Ava....that winds me up! People who feel they can openly judge, state how they feel and are oblivious to what's looking back from their mirrors!
My American cousin was home last year and ticked me off about smoking. Yes, I know I shouldn't smoke and I will deal with it. But, as much as I love him, he drank a bottle of whiskey every day of his holiday and has a belly like a sumo-wrestler! I, like you Ava, said nothing back.
These people hurt themselves. Their opinion is none of our business.....trying to live by that.
And another thing is when the mass population condemn smokers, alcoholics, obesity for using unnecessary resources. Everyone has their own difficulties in life. There are reasons behind everyone's story.
The people who let their mouths run loose are in actual fact responsible for part of it.....the hurt and mental damage that words can cause has an effect on people around them.
There we go Ava, a group rant! Haha.
All good here. Very touch and go week last week....'feck its' were very close by. Another toughie coming up....a meet-up with schoolfreinds next week. Getting by my 50 tomorrow should help me feel stronger.
Have a great day everyone. Byrdie, hope you win at the races.

[Elvis]

I thought I was good at hiding too, but looking back, there were signs I wasn't. At least stuff I would pick up on now. I'm not sure others would pick it up, because if you're not an alcoholic, you don't know what to look for -- you just know something is off. Like for example, my wife asked me why I kept going upstairs -- I told her I was running a virus scan on the computer and needed to check the progress. Or how I would nurse a can of soda and make it last all day and night -- because I kept refilling it with rum. Or the time my wife took a sip from my Gatorade bottle -- "this tastes funny" -- yeah, because it's more vodka than Gatorade at this point! Never mind the more obvious stuff like whatever my breath must have smelled like, my slurred speech, and passing out in front of the TV every night.

Glad those days are over. Have a great day everyone!

[NoSugar]

This came to my Inbox today and seems to relate to the grief others sometimes give us:
1 Smartass Responses to Give When Someone Questions Your Sobriety

[okoren1]

Hello All,

I haven’t been around here for almost a year because, I’ve been, well, drinking for the last 11 months or so. I had quit successfully for the prior year, and thought quitting was pretty easy. I am embarrassed and ashamed to be coming back like this. So many MWO’ers were so supportive and helpful during my year quit, I feel like I’ve let them down. I’ve never met anyone from MWO of course, but, as you know, when you are involved here enough, you seem to develop an idea of who the MWO people are, and in my case an affection and admiration for steadfast MWO abstainers. It would not be an overstatement to say that I considered many fine folks here to be friends.

This all happened when I was on a cycling trip in France last September, and one day thought how good a cold beer would taste after a long day in the saddle. How big a deal could one beer be, I thought, and actually, it wasn’t that big a deal initially- not like I immediately jumped back into daily drinking, etc. But as has been said on these pages many times, it became a steadily slippery slope. Its’ crazy, for the first month or two, I still considered myself to be a non-drinker. The compulsive desires were gone (at least at that time) thanks to my prior year abstinence. But, and you already know what happened next, a very occasional thing, progressively became much more frequent, and the old compulsions started coming back.

My wonderful wife, of course knew that I had previously quit, and she was obviously very pleased. When I started having an occasional drink again, I was pretty open about it, assuring her that this was nothing, that I could easily quit. But as I progressively drank more, over the last 6 months or so, I started to hide it. It had become an everyday thing again, and the deceitful tactics became commonplace. I’d buy liquor, hide it in places around our home. Sometimes cleverly, sometimes not- she would find a bottle in the most unusual places and wonder about it. If we were going out to dinner with each other, friends or family, I’d make sure I had a couple of solid drinks in me before we left, so that during dinner, I could, with a smile, say “no thanks” when I was offered wine or a drink. I was still keeping up the pretense that I really didn’t drink.

So, I quit- again. The deceptions were/are just too much to bear. As an active alcoholic, I am essentially a liar. Many of my actions are/were untruthful. All this flies in the face of my interior faith life and I can’t do it.

[NoSugar]

The dishonesty and lies were what I couldn't take either, OK. An internally inconsistent life kills the soul. I appreciate your sharing what happened. I think most of us occasionally entertain the idea of trying what you did. You remind us that it just isn't worth the risk. I'm glad you're back, NS

[daisy45]

Hi Okoren......good to see you back!
Another learning experience.....this lesson will make you more aware when it arises again.
Your post has helped me tonight....a good reminder for anyone contemplating a drink.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

I am entertaining my 5 year old granddaughter for the rest of the week so I will be busy but happy

Bobby boy, Congrats on your 3 AF weeks, great work!

Ava, there's a reason we need to leave some people behind when we embark on this AF journey. Surrounding ourselves with positive & loving people is a must. The negative nellies can just go elsewhere :hug:

Welcome back okoren, glad you are here. Settle in & stay put for a while while you rebuild your AF muscles.

NS, I reslly liked smartass response #3 the best, ha ha! Thanks for posting that!!

Hello to Byrdie, Elvis, Daisy & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest forcall.

Lav

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

And here my vaca begins with a quiet, peaceful morning...

Thanks for the responses. Have to make peace that there will always be stuff to deal with, with people re al. But better than dealing with a hangover and finding ways to get a fix while people are saying things behind your back and to your face in any case. Might be a big part why we preferred to numb out to begin with.

Welcome back Okoren! Know how you feel. Glad you returned so quickly.

Have a wonderful day.

[Byrdlady]

Good afternoon, Nesters.
Busy day going here, but taking time to check in. It would be easy to put it off and let others things take priority, believe me! This new job has been a real challenge in every way. However, everything hinges on my being sober so here I am dutifully checking in and keeping in touch with my support system.
I worked SO long and so hard to get sober, taking 5 minutes out of my busy day to stay connected is a small price to pay in order to keep my quit intact.
Stick close like I do! You'll never regret getting AND STAYING sober!!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

Where is everyone today?

Justme, enjoy the time off & remember we can't fix everything overnight, right? I sure remember I wanted to do that but it's just not possible. Keep your focus on you & your quit right now

Byrdie, I am only catching a few minutes alone in the evenings lately but I still like to check in. It's old habit now

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Eloise]

I need to check in too Brydie!
Gosh, it is starting to set in that we are moving to China. Time to embrace that idea and be grateful.
:flip:

[bobby boy]

Morning everyone

I missed my daily input yesterday as it was voting day here and my son came home from Uni for a long weekend . No excuses though !! You right Byrd .. we have to find that five minutes to connect here ! All is good with me , I am amazed at myself , I met friends for a late lunch yesterday after we all voted and the usual wine /drinks were ordered and I felt NO magnetic pull whatsoever .. I hardly noticed people around me drinking . In the past I would watch people drink wishing that it was me ... so I believe that my AF plan is set like concrete in my head ... Eloise .. moving to China , that sounds exciting !! OKoren .. welcome back ! I agree , there is no going back .. just the odd one or even pretending that we can control the amount that we drink .. It controls us instead .. Hang in here .. Lets rock this nest ! Hugs x

[tonyniceday]

Good Morning Nesters!

Life is really busy here, burning the candle both ends, Midnight finish last night and into work in a few minutes time. I'll try and catch up again later.

Hope everyone is ok

Have a great AF day

Tony

[available]

Evening Nesters

Well a week from hell for me. Abused by a patient and nearly hit in the face by another. Oh i so love trying to help people and this is how they react. I did go for a job interview so fingers crossed. I still feel i am not good enough but i do know deep down i am capable now i dont drink.

My course is going great and i am really enjoying it, i wish i had done this years ago but it would have so interfered with my 5pm drinking time. Just not doable back then, nothing stopped me from drinking.

Oko glad to see you back and a reminder of why we cant have al and have any form of control. Stay on here and you will get back on track.

Bobby did you not say you were drinking iced tea?

Daisy i just shake my head that some people can be so judgmental. this so called friend has been so damn nice it is sickening but no apology has been said so i am distancing myself from her. she is now saying she maybe drank too much and blah blah blah. What she does to justify what she said is quite amusing.

Thank god it is Friday in Ausland tomorrow.

take care x