Newbies Nest

[NoraC]

Byrd i am with you, a $2.50 bottle of wine tasted no different to a $15 bottle. I drank to get drunk. I hated when i went out and would have to taste the wine when i didnt care about the taste, i just wanted my glass filled up, then i was happy.

Ava - I always love your posts. I wanted to comment on this line though....

I was at work yesterday and a co-worker was talking about her daughter going on a wine tasting. She was saying how much her daughter enjoyed it. She told me that she told her daughter that once she started drinking it with food and learning to appreciate the flavors instead of drinking to get drunk, it would take on a whole new experience.

I had no comment to make. Because I certainly didn't drink it for the taste. :sad:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I managed to do as little as possible today - just the kind of day I wanted & needed

Pav, glad you had a good vacation

Justme, great pics, thanks for posting them! Looks like the kids enjoyed themselves too, ha ha!

Ava, still thinking about that beanie?
As long as it doesn't smell....Lol

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all.
Staying put has been good for me, something I highly recommend

Lav

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

I am up early. The house is so quiet. Everybody is still sleeping.
Just great to be awake and sober. Ready to do a couple of things today.

Ava - how is your daughter doing?

Till later

[available]

Afternoon nesters

Made it through a Monday and still procrastinating about homework for Wednesday.

Just, i love the carpet, i really had no thoughts on what it would look like but it looks great. now if i only had some fabric....... My daughter is doing a lot better, stronger antibiotics and some panadeine forte have helped her. now i hope she listens when i tell her she cant play netball for a month as she has to let it heal. My son who magically thought he was superman and jumped off a 5 metre balcony a month or so ago has fractures in his foot which they only picked up with an ultrasound. Now he has to go to a fracture clinic though i dont think they can do much now. My kids all seem to want me at the same time, i feel like they play tag for my attention!

Bobby so glad you went out and had a good time without al. It becomes second nature to not even give it a second glance but at times those longing moments arise. I am sure mine will pop up when summer comes. Drunks annoy me now. I cringe when i think how annoying i must have been. I was a drunk hand holder and i love you person lol.

Lav the knitting is not where i can see it atm. I think about it daily but ive lost the motivation for the moment. If i can get the damn thing finished then i can wash it.

Pav so good to see you had a great vacation, i am in desperate need of one but too much going on with work and study and kids. A desert island would be ideal.

Nora, wine tasting, god forbid those teeny tiny glasses. Give me the damn bottle please or the keg it was fermented in!

Take care x

[tonyniceday]

Hello Nesters

8 weeks AF today - and I still had a "no-one would know" thought for a moment last night when everyone else had gone home from work...I wonder if that will ever go away...

Ava - The garden is on maintenance rota for the next 4 weeks while we get through the busiest time at work - so no great progress, just keeping it to where I've got so far and the autumn is when I will start doing the main work to get it looking good for next year. My quit was in June so I'd missed the best time to get started on it for this year. Picked up some good gardening books last week and I'm trying to learn about what can be best grown in our strange, and largely cold, climate here in the Highlands of Scotland.

Justme - Enjoy the peace! It's good you're getting some stuff off the list...

Byrdie - Your "painting by numbers" abstract struck a chord with me - We needed a gate a couple of years back and I bought a kit from a DIY store...Really clear instructions, had all the right tools, and plenty of time to do it... My wife went off shopping, and so I, along with my then good friend, Mr Shiraz, set about making the gate... Mr Shiraz clearly wanted his influence on the project and won the day. The result was unusable, and frankly a child below reading age could have done better. The "result" is still in a shed. I think I might treat myself to a ceremonial burning of that "gate" when I next have a bonfire...

Nora - So true about the taste thing. I recall on more than one occasion having a limited amount of cash on me and not wanting to put Al on the bank card, or go to the ATM for more money as that would be seen on the bank statement, so working out which cheap wine I could get most of with the money I had in my pocket - tasted like shit, but still got me drunk and that was the ONLY purpose! Just typing this re-affirms why I've quit

Bobby - Proud of you for getting through without a drink - Well done!

Hi to everyone else.

Tony

[available]

Tony a huge congrats on your 8 weeks sober. I think the first 6 months have a lot of ups and downs but the ups are more than the downs. Even if we want a drink we know that we dont want to lose the time we have or come on here and say day 1, so the choice gets a bit easier for us. that plus bloody grit and determination. You will stop thinking about those drinking thoughts. god i cant wait to get home and have a cuppa. The old scenario was i could not wait to leave work, stop at one of 5 bottleshops and then feed the dogs in 3.5 seconds as i was pouring a drink. Now i sit on the lounge give my girls heaps of cuddles and attention whilst said kettle is boiling. Not a drinking thought passes through my brain 99.9% of the time.

Well you got me back with the gate. Hilarious just imaging what the hell it looks like as a finished product. Just imagine what your garden project would look like if you were drinking and planning how it would go. Lucky for the garden i say.

[Eloise]

Tony I cannot express just exactly HOW impressed I am with you, 8 weeks!! That is just great.
So many of us started and stopped in the beginning and you are just getting it right.

I love the gate story, by the way. Hysterical!
I used to like to try and plant flowers and drink (in the Caribbean summer heat I might add). Thank god those days are behind us.

Keep plowing ahead!

Just have to add a little something. All the problems I was having with my husband while drinking are miraculously still there. The intensity has lifted a bit, but the problems remain. They ebb and flow with his mood and my ability to keep my fat trap shut.
The revelation is these are not my problems, and my drinking did not cause them. I have no reason to feel guilty either. They are issues he has to finally deal with. They are only my problems because I am victim to his moods. They are not my moods or responsibility in spite of the fact he would like me to think it is all my fault. I am not reacting. I am doing what is best for the both of us, being support, but not taking any kind of blame. That is liberating to be able to say.

I would not have seen things as clearly if I had not stopped drinking. I love to take the blame. Stopping drinking for a month or two would not have helped either. It takes time to regain that clarity. I am doing it and it isn't easy either.

[tonyniceday]

Ava - There is a tell tale with me and feeding the dogs... When my wife goes to feed them, as soon as she has got out the first bowl, all 3 dogs are stood around her, wagging tails in anticipation. When I do it they don't do this immediately but wait until I get the first of the food out of the cupboard - why? Because they are so used to there being at least one, and sometimes 2 glasses of wine consumed between getting the bowls out and actually feeding them. That makes your 3.5 seconds of self-control look impressive!

... So many of us started and stopped in the beginning and you are just getting it right.

Eloise - I'd love for this to be actually true but it's not - I joined here in Mid May and had a 3 day quit and relapsed but before that I'd done the quit and relapses a number of times between February and May but I just wasn't on MWO at the time... that's the only reason why it looks like I've got here quickly but I'm afraid I really didn't...

As top the bit about your husband - at least you have now got the clarity to deal with this without the Al, I am lucky in that my wife is very supportive, no she doesn't fully understand my alcoholism and that's the same old reason- only another alcoholic truly understands us - but I'm sure we will get there. There are some hurdles to overcome as I did some incredibly stupid things when drunk and she knows about them too, so I can't just forget them.

I don't think there are enough flowers in the world to make up for some of the crap I've brought on our marriage when I was drinking, but the understatement of the day is that she can see the difference and that's what I live for at the moment.

I hope you get there with your husband :thumbsup:

Tony

[Eloise]

I hope I do too Tony. Shame there is not guidebook to marriage, I could really use some tips at this point. I stopped drinking because I didn't trust how I reacted under the influence. Really I was a quiet drunk, I didn't do crazy things. As an introvert I liked to self-destruct autonomously. After two years sober I find this funny. My own worst enemy of sorts. Makes sense though, my parents were the same kind of drinker. Home alone, no witnesses. Keep your trouble to yourself. Then came my husband and a new found lack of private drinking time. So, I quit. Good thinkin'.
By the way, I was on and off this site for 7 years before I finally quit Tony. Yes, I said 7.
So, in my mind you are doing great. Take credit where credit is due! :victorious:

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Ready to start another busy week here. Send good vibes!
Tony, I kept that paining around (the paint by numbers deal) for a while, and then it just make me sick to my stomach so I threw it out. It was motivating during that first year, then it had done its job and I tossed it out. Like Ava, would love to see your gate! I thought I was a creative genius while drinking, far from....did I ever mention the chocolate popcorn? (disaster)

Hope everyone has an easy day! Stick with us! Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Byrdie and Ava, We have a little holiday home (nothing grand - just a static caravan) down in England and the gate was for there. We'll be going there for a week in October and I'll take a picture and put it up on here when I get there... Prepare yourselves to be seriously underwhelmed!!!

Chocolate popcorn?

[NoSugar]

For many years (when I didn't over-drink), wine actually improved some of my creative work - I became less constrained and the outcomes were actually more exciting and satisfying than when I tried to do everything "right". I remember laughingly telling someone who asked how I was able to do a certain form of free motion quilting that a glass or 2 of wine while doing it was the secret.

It loosened me up creatively just like it does for many of us socially.
BUT - we've lost that path to ease and have to find new ways to be more comfortable and creative.

I also tended to shave my legs and groom our dogs after drinking too much. Those activities WERE NOT improved and I'm so glad to no longer have the evidence of scars on my legs and choppy looking dogs making me feel awful every day.

[NoSugar]

For many years (when I didn't over-drink), wine actually improved some of my creative work - I became less constrained and the outcomes were actually more exciting and satisfying than when I tried to do everything "right". I remember laughingly telling someone who asked how I was able to do a certain form of free motion quilting that a glass or 2 of wine while doing it was the secret. If only it had stayed at 1 or 2...

It loosened me up creatively just like it does for many of us socially.
BUT - we've lost that path to ease and have to find new ways to be more comfortable and creative.

I also tended to shave my legs and groom our dogs after drinking too much. Those activities WERE NOT improved and I'm so glad to no longer have the evidence of scars on my legs and choppy looking dogs making me feel awful every day.

[Eloise]

oh dear, poor doggies!!!

:yikes:

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters

Partly sunny & still a bit too warm for my likes in Lav-land but what can you do?
I am making the most of a kid-free day because my grandsons will be back tomorrow, oh boy!

Tony, Congrats on your 8 AF weeks :yay:
Yes, those annoying thoughts will go away with time, I promise. Feel proud & keep the gratefulness going as you move forward.

Ava, my daughter was still in high school when she developed a case of costochronditis after a bout of bronchitis. She was sent home complaining of chest pain. After a few days on Ibuprofen the inflammation in the lining between her ribs was gone. It seems once you have something like that it can & will come back again. Get your daughter to take it easy for a while

Eloise, my husband's troubles didn't disappear when I quit either. They actually got a whole lot worse causing him to leave for a period of four years. He's back now with his head in a better place. I don't want to scare you but sometimes you just have to look after yourself first & foremost.

Wishing everyone a good AF rest of the day.

Lav