Newbies Nest

[TJAF]

Sure Byrdie if I can figure that out:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I hope everyone had a good Monday, I did
We started off the day with a trip to the zoo, my granddaughter was thrilled. This is a small local place, mostly a petting zoo so she fed lots of animals. She wants to be an animal doctor when she grows up, ha ha!

Doing whatever we have to do to be proud of ourselves once again is vital. After years of disappointing myself I had to make some major changes. Kicking AL out of my life, once & for all was #1, adopting a policy of honor & honesty, for myself & others was #2. Creating a no BS boundary around myself was #3. If I was going to stop BSing myself & others then I was't going to allow anyone to BS me. That meant dropping a few chronic friends & relatives too. That was OK & a good thing for me to do!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!!

Lav

[Eloise]

Doing my best to welcome the day with positive and optimistic thoughts.
Glad to see everyone's posts and that we are still doing our sober thinking.
:yay:

Funny, I remember in the early days I read something about the relationship between the number of posts someone makes and the likelihood of maintaining sobriety. So, I thought 'Okay, gotta post something.' What to say?
I am not sure I am much better at it now, but I am not drinking or even thinking about it anymore SO maybe there IS something to this? I think so.
My sincere apologies to all who read some of the crap I write and might think, and rightly so, this woman has nothing to add here. That may indeed be true, however, I am going to carry on anyway.

[Byrdlady]

Eloise,
I have THIS to say about THAT! (See? Posts DO spark conversation!!!!)

When I was in high school, my English teacher said that she had trouble with going to a church that was dull. She said she needed to be entertained in the process. That stuck me in a nervous, uncomfortable way. I thought the purpose of going to church was (fill in the blank as to what you think the purpose is) and what she said seemed a bit shallow to me. As an adult now, I do sort of 'get' what she was saying, but like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. As it relates to MWO, I look at it this way....This is MY documentation of how it went. My posts are primarily for MY recovery. (Not entertainment, but if that happens, it's a bonus) Jane helped point this out to me, when I was struggling (with moderating in 2010) my perception is that I was here every day, putting up the good fight. However, if you look at my actual posts, I really didn't have that many....I may have been fighting, but it was with myself, not getting support from here. Once I got serious about quitting, I got serious about posting, too. During that first year, and in subsequent years, I may not always have much to say, but I can see that I checked in and had some skin in the game. I can gauge where I am on the Recovery Spectrum. When you look back at your post #66706 in two years, you will say, "I was about to move to a new country, I was under a lot of stress, and I did what I knew to do, and that is to check in with my support system". Then you'll say, 'Gosh, what was I worried about? It all turned out great!!' Don't I wish we had a crystal ball! The point is that your posts are for you primarily....they are documentation of your journey.
Besides all that, I really enjoy your posts and am inspired by all you have accomplished!!! Keep up the great work.

Off to the salt mines.....hope everyone has a peaceful day. Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Sometimes it's not always about what we have to say El, sometimes it's just about being here. You just never know when something you say might be just the thing someone needed to hear to get them through a tough moment.

Bubba asked me the other morning if being on the forums every day is healthy for me. She told me that her trust in me has really come back, that she knows that I'll do everything in my power to protect my quit. But she asked if being on the forums morning and night kept the thoughts of alcohol in my mind all the time, and was that good for me? I thought about it for a moment and took some time to answer so that what I was thinking came out right. Being on the forums now isn’t so much about me, my quit. I’m pretty comfortable with the new Bruce and don’t think that I want to change him. I’m at the stage where it’s not protecting my quit, but maintaining it. So when I’m reading on the forums, it’s not about finding more tools for my toolbox, however, one can never have too many tools when it comes to quitting drinking. SR, MWO, and WQD, along with a brief stint in AA, were big factors in my successful quit. My Uncle, 52 years sober, still goes to AA at least twice a week! Why? To give back, to show others it can be done, to try to be a good example of what sobriety can do for you. That’s why at least twice a day I read and post.

So El, when you think your posts are just your thoughts and not really worth much, just remember that it only takes one thought, one statement, that will make someone want what we have….lasting sobriety.

[paulywogg]

Eloise, I always love reading your posts and I agree that it's not necessarily what you post,just the fact that you're here and present, think of all of the people you miss on MWO now imagine if they were all here even just saying a quick hello, even though it's not much the presence helps I think anyways

[KENSHO]

Checking in! We HAVE to remind ourselves day and night that we don't drink - this is a good way.

We are having our wood floors refinished, and the workers are here at 7am. Holy moly, I can't even have a conversation at that hour! We are also displaced, so I have been planning more than usual and pre-planned a few dinners and meals from our basement. I have to say that it is REALLY nice to have less cooking work at night. I had the time to walk to the mailbox with my son last night, and we walked and talked hand in hand for 20 min. He is 10 yrs old and still holds my hand, even when other boys from school wave to him. He downloaded his day as we walked, and we were silly. THAT, my friends, is how life's moments are SO much better without alcohol. I lapped up every second, and realize that we need to do it more often. I run around frazzled too much.

Love and hugs to all - happy Tuesday!

[tonyniceday]

Hello Nest

You know, I think that way sometimes too, Eloise. Sometimes it's also that you come on to MWO and, maybe because people are busy, maybe it has to do with the number of different time zones people live in on here, and maybe there is a whole bunch of us that check in and see no one has said anything in the last few hours and we go away again.

What Byrdie says is right (she always is spot on!) that it is not always what we say, but just being here that matters.

I'm not so good on the Church these days but I remember the story from Childhood of when John Wesley went into the pulpit with a completely blank mind as he had not had any inspiration as to what he was going to say in his sermon. He started out with the words "I have nothing to say" and finished up preaching a whole sermon based on the words "I have nothing to say"!

[Eloise]

And so she continues to post.

I am just in the worst mood today, just when I thought it couldn't get worse. Nothing happened either. Just still waiting for the work permit. sigh.
I worked on a painting today and started to mend one that got damaged.
Doing my best.
If I could just get the crystal ball working Brydie!!

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!

hey, Eloise, I hope you're feeling a bit better after painting... I miss your old Dachshund avatar!
I am really happy to be here again amongst you all.. I have to say that here in the Nest I read every word of every post.. I like to know how everyone is doing, to hear how you're all dealing with staying sober and with all that is connected (everything!). It's nice as well to read when nothing special has happened.. just everyday normal life. At this moment I am so relieved to be dealing with it all, head on, making .
small steps forward instead of being stuck.. going backwards, even.
I'm at the end of my 7th day and I know I can do this.. like you said the other day, Kensho, I feel like I'm ready to put my sobriety ahead of everything else.. including/especially relationships with people who aren't sure if they like me better when I'm not drinking! One in particular that I'm (sort of sadly) sure won't survive.. I loved that your son still likes to walk holding your hand! Those are the most precious moments, that when we're drinking we don't even necessarily notice we're missing.. thanks, too, for the info regarding the nutrition program!
Tomorrow I will begin to eat a bit better.. I have been completely ignoring it this first week, substituting anything I felt like for alcohol.. and am taking in way too much junk food. I know that it's ok short term, but long term it works against me.. so I'm still going to eat as much as I want, but will try to grab for healthier snacks!
ok off to bed.. pleasant dreams..

[Byrdlady]

Lifechange......a little something from the nest: :butt: Congrats on those 7 days! B

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Eloise - what a nice conversation you started.Think most of us feel at some point we don't have much to say or that others might not enjoy reading our posts. It was good and helpful to read the responses tonight.

Kensho - sounds like an adorable moment (20 mins) with your son! So worth it to be sober for that. Good luck with the floors.

LC - congratulations on 7 days!!

Lav - its slowly getting warmer here, so it might start cooling down over on your side. Glad you had a good day with your granddaughter.

I've been busy trying to put a business plan together for the business I want to take over. Now I know why they ask you to do it. This plan might not work out anymore. Bit of a bummer, but I will have to see. At least it helped to put so many other things in motion.

When I am driving I think a lot. A lot! Sometimes wonder how I got home - auto pilot thing. Then randomly a thought about a person / family member who I don't talk to anymore, pops into my head. Don't know how to explain it. It is as if my brain is considering a different point of view. I haven't changed my opinion (yet)? A shift in perspective without shifting. Something like that is going on in my sober brain and it feels weird. Maybe I am just growing up.

Byrdie, Tony, Cowboy - good to see you guys.

Gonna rest my silly head now. Till tomorrow.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Well, my lodger has gone home - it was a nice time but I have to admit I am TIRED, ha ha!!
I never knew having grandkids could be so much fun

Eloise, I love reading your posts & those of everyone really. Any conversation is good here because it helps us feel connected & understood. I hope you are feeling easier now :hug:

LC, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days, yay!!!!
Keep treating yourself with healthy doses of kindness!

Justme, we really do a lot if maturing (in a good way) when we have a clear head. I have to admit that at the end of my drinking career I couldn't figure out who owned what problem & had no idea what to do. I think I took on guilt & remorse that wasn't even mine, if you know what I mean.
We have just enjoyed 2 days of pleasant weather but I hear the heat is on the way back, oh well.

Hi there Tony, Byrdie, Pauly & everyone!
Wishing a safe night n the nest for all.

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Lav, I had enough guilt to start my own religion! Ugg! B

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Kensho - what a sweet picture you painted of you and your son walking hand in hand to the mailbox. That IS what sobriety is all about. I cringe when I think about the times I was reading good night stories a couple of glasses in... Keep that memory in your mind. When I was about a year in my son asked me how long I had gone without drinking and if I was ever going to drink again. I told him a year and forever and then asked why. He said he wanted me to be his role model. Now THAT was a good moment. So happy to be present with them through their teenaged years.

El - I did hate that I still got in bad moods even when I quit drinking. I thought I would magically be on happy planet all the time. I would love to learn how to paint - I am sure working in your studio is a good therapy.

LC - Way to go - one week in. It keeps getting better.

TJAF - I LOVE when you drop by with your pearls of wisdom. Keep 'em coming!

Byrdie and Lav - Rock on.

Hi everyone else!

My meeting was a shit storm as expected, but I weathered it well. I had adrenaline going for about six hours in a row, and when it was all over I went with a colleague for dinner. She had a giant cocktail, and I have to be honest that I looked longingly at it. I thought about how quickly that would make me feel better and take the edge off. Instead I processed what had happened in my head and verbally, and then went home for a nice LONG hug from my husband. All in all I felt great about what happened, even if it was tough. And I was grateful to work through all those feelings without alcohol to help me avoid them (for a while anyway).

Pav