Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Thanks for sharing Pav. A roll model - what an honor, right?

I have had a hard week, today especially. I unloaded a lot of thoughts, feelings and anger to my husband tonight and I'm afraid I didn't do it terribly well. I am feeling really overwhelmed and ADD lately - the brain isn't working well. Not sure why it seems worse all of a sudden. Maybe hormones for the age 40? Maybe my 40 yr old brain? Maybe that I am just tying to do too much and be too much? I am trying to establish a new routine with the kids by being home at 4:00 each day. It has been great so far, in that they are developing good habits of work before play - and I can help make sure they are on top of it. But I have struggled to be done with work early, as 3-7 is my most productive time of day. I also really want to get exercise and be fit enough to call myself healthy - even finish races from time to time. And I have been planning healthy meals for the family and cooking...Add in that we can't live in our house like normal with the floor thing and I am testy, pissy and don't take criticism well. I snap and don't cope well to being talked to by 3 people at the same time - I often feel I should be in three different places at the same time. Two birthdays too this week, so I just feel pulled in a lot of directions. Ugh! BUT I DIDN'T DRINK!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Humpday

I just wanted to share something that was in my email this morning - I love the DailyOM

DailyOM - Permission to Forgive Ourselves

We can all take a little from this article & help ourselves at the same time!
Have a great AF day one & all.

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Thanks for sharing Pav. A roll model - what an honor, right?

I have had a hard week, today especially. I unloaded a lot of thoughts, feelings and anger to my husband tonight and I'm afraid I didn't do it terribly well. I am feeling really overwhelmed and ADD lately - the brain isn't working well. Not sure why it seems worse all of a sudden. Maybe hormones for the age 40? Maybe my 40 yr old brain? Maybe that I am just tying to do too much and be too much? I am trying to establish a new routine with the kids by being home at 4:00 each day. It has been great so far, in that they are developing good habits of work before play - and I can help make sure they are on top of it. But I have struggled to be done with work early, as 3-7 is my most productive time of day. I also really want to get exercise and be fit enough to call myself healthy - even finish races from time to time. And I have been planning healthy meals for the family and cooking...Add in that we can't live in our house like normal with the floor thing and I am testy, pissy and don't take criticism well. I snap and don't cope well to being talked to by 3 people at the same time - I often feel I should be in three different places at the same time. Two birthdays too this week, so I just feel pulled in a lot of directions. Ugh! BUT I DIDN'T DRINK!

AH, the FLOOR THING.....
That is traumatic! They tell you that it's a dust free procedure, but I had dust (TINY dust, too!) EVERY where and we taped up our closets and put stuff in trash bags and it still got dust all over it. It's gets in your ducts, it gets on the top shelf of your inner closets, it's just nuts! Watch those ceiling fans, too when you first turn them on, dust flies off of them! It is a major disruption to have your floors refinished, so you have a license to be pissy.....just don't DRINK! Bah!! I'd love to have mine redone, but I just can't take the thought of going thru all that again, it was awful! (and my house is small!) Good luck with it, you will love them once they are done!

Hitting the road today and it will be an overnighter. Big meeting tomorrow.... wish me luck! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[okoren1]

Okoren, what's up?

Hi Kensho- I've been travelling- spotty internet. Now that I am back, I am catching up on past posts, especially yours! Thanks

[lifechange]

hi Nesters!

I'm tired with a capital T!

Pav and Kensho, both of you had quite stressful days yesterday and both of you found ways of coping without drinking.. I do know that drinking NEVER helps. The immediate relief lasts maybe half an hour then I have to drink more to keep it going.. by the time I'm finished I'm asleep and wake up to the same old shit plus a headache, a sick stomach, panic.. nothing is ever better if I drink because of problems, for relief. Every day a situation arises that could be used as an excuse to drink.. I don't want that anymore..

Now having said that, today is one day where everything ran smoothly. My eldest helped us out at work and afterwards we were feeling quite exhausted and didn't know what to do with ourselves.. we ended up going to a super duper health food cafe where the guy has about 12 very different smoothies, each containing at least 15 ingredients he suggested Dr. Snuggly, with all sorts of veggies, fruits, raw cocoa, etc. to re-energize. Anyway, we felt much better afterwards.. Highlight of the day.:love:

Tomorrow we're looking at sunny, hot weather.. but low humidity. How's it looking with you, Lav? How hot is hot?


Good Luck tomorrow, Byrdie!

Strength to you all!!

[Lavande]

LC, I'll take a Dr. Snuggly please, ha ha
Anything loaded with all those nutrients must be good for you!!
Looks like our weather here will be back up in the 90's Friday thru Monday, ugh. I am ready to end summer.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
I need some quality sleep myself tonight - just found out I am watching my grandsons tomorrow, uh oh!!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Went to a brewery. Wanted drink. Told myself the story that I have had a hard week - have given my all - deserved it. Drank water instead. Feeling happy. VERY tired, but happy. DO not want to do floors any time again soon - BYRDIE, don't do it!!!

[lifechange]

Super, Kensho!

[Pavati]

Way to go, Kensho. You worked out and strengthened that sober muscle.

I'll be away for the weekend and am not bringing a computer - won't have service. I am very much looking forward to unplugging!

My son came home tonight having been drinking. First time for us, so I have to figure out how to deal with it. He is a very responsible kid and I am not overall worried. I am pretty sure this is the first or second time only. Right now he's being an indignant drunk which is actually making me laugh a bit. However, the whole thing is sad. I wish teenagers knew how to have fun without drinking. I know I drank all the time, so at least he's in better shape than I was at that point in my life.

I'll be back Monday. Happy SOBER weekend.

Stay safe everyone.

xo
Pav

[tonyniceday]

Hi Nest

Good luck today Byrdie - hope your meeting goes really well.

Quite a few of us seem to be getting quite stressed at the moment - this almost seems to go in cycles - everyone chilled for a while, then the stress levels seem to build.

Here in my corner of Scotland we are building towards the huge event of the year which happens on the 1st weekend in September. Our business has a massive involvement in the hospitality side of this and everything is getting in place but ironically, I have, this week, purchased all the alcohol for the event which is a huge order..... but I'm in a good place at the moment, and I am not stressing about having all that around.

Over the "festival" weekend I've said that I may be the only sober person in the village, a slight exaggeration but I will certainly be part of a tiny minority of people who are sober here.

Because of this, I've been thinking a lot over the last week or two about why I would ever want to drink again. The thing which has been going through my mind is the real reason for drinking.

Is it the taste - no not at all - there may be a couple of wines which I enjoyed and certainly the cold beer after a long hot day was quite nice. However, there is nothing in that which cannot be replaced by something else I enjoy like apple juice, or ginger beer or a number of other non-al drinks (I might have to try those smoothies - never done that!)

Is it the buzz - no I don't think so because I could never wait long enough for that buzz before taking the next drink so that was only ever a fleeting phase in a drinking session.

Is it the social aspect - no because once people "get over" the fact that I am having a juice or a fizzy drink instead of wine then the social side still remains the same and I can still enjoy people's company without the alcohol.

Lets face it, there was only one reason EVER for taking a drink. That was to get to the next one, and the next one and to get wasted. I've said previously that I am done with that. I hate the thought of being wasted again.

AND YET - there's the old tight-rope thing because that little voice just stays there - it's Al saying "you can have one, can't you?" And all I need to do is just keep saying no to that one drink.

Certainly for me, I have every reason NOT to drink and cannot think of a reason to take a drink. I hope that I stay that way and just keep saying no to that niggling little voice. I wish I could kick the addictive Al voice into touch - then I think I'd have this thing beaten!

I hope this makes as much sense to everyone else as it does to me!!

Have a great AF day

Tony

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Thursday to all!

Tony, keep that thinking going & you will do just fine
I look at it this way - even if we have to remain on guard, in protective mode forevermore it's still much easier than having to face another day 1, right?

Pav, enjoy your unplugged weekend.
Seeing kids drinking is rough but pretty much a rite of passage I guess. As long as they are NOT DRIVING while doing their experimenting & not stupidly drinking themselves into comas they should be OK. Peer pressure at that age is a big thing too.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day.
My 5 & 7 year old grandsons are on the way over, fun times.

Lav

[KENSHO]

LC - totally right that AL NEVER helps!

PAV - OMG, I guess I have that to look forward to in the next few years. Ugh. Great perspective on it LAV - I'm sure I will freak out.

Tony - great reasoning. What struck me most about your post is that you talked about your alcohol use in PAST TENSE. This is such a good sign. Keep understanding and reminding, but most importantly JUST DON'T DRINK. I've found that I sometimes have "reasoned" myself right into Al being ok... the sneaky bastard!

I won a three-month membership to a local pilates studio - from dropping my slip into a drawing at my recent race. What lovely luck! Now I just have to find the time....

The floor guys are out now, and I have the house to put back together. So getting started - I couldn't live so displaced much longer!

Have a great day everyone!

[lifechange]

hi Nesters!

on my way to bed again..i was thinking today that one of the best things about being sober is that rest time can be really restful. for some reason i've been waking up each night at 2 or 3 and it takes awhile for me to fall asleep again.. but i don't have the shakes or sweats or shame. and in the morning if i'm still a bit tired, i can deal with it. i can enjoy my coffee in my favourite place knowing i can deal. and i so look forward to the weekend now! feeling it's a time to re-tank, rejuvenate.. and because i haven't wasted endless hours and amounts of money drinking and recovering, i don't feel guilty taking extra care of myself, splurging for a treat, telling my girls i need to take a nap, etc, etc. i also love having so much time.. not having to cut out early from what ever to run home and drink..

hugs to you all..

[Eloise]

Lately my train of thought has been frequently ' thank god I am not drinking!'
Bizarre how it shifted from 'poor me I cannot drink" to ' not interested' to 'holy crap glad I don't do that anymore.'
It did take 2 yrs+ but I do think it might be helpful for folks to know we can eventually get through this. Trick is to not let your guard down, learnt that here. Glad I did not have to learn it on my own.

Got some positive news today about the new job.
We are definitely going, still don't know when though. I am not the only one freaking out about it either.
I dont know how I am going to get through these weeks? More meditation & horse riding I guess. I have done a lot of meditation the since June.

[Byrdlady]

Long day. The meeting didnt go as well as I would have liked. Its hard to explain but its like she was in a pissy mood or something. I dont feel as warm and fuzzy as I did about it. We'll have to see how it goes, but we seem to have a lot of ground to make up for some reason.
I got home about 7. Back in the day, I would have resented getting home so late, would have been irritable about, I may have possibly stayed another night in the city I was in just so I would getvin so late. Its hard to believe how I arranged everything around AL. Scary.
Im beat, hope everyone has a good evening. Byrdie