Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters!

TJAF, that is exactly how I feel, what I would have written if I could have. I think that it will help me to use the label, alcoholic, with myself and here..I don't know. To admit to the severity of what's going on, so as not to be able to deceive myself.
Byrdie, what you said the other day about the levels of alcoholism.. the fact that I have always been more or less functional has kept me in deception mode.. I can see clearly how it has progressed in the past few years-- though I have had some long phases of "harm reduction", in the end, I'm worse off and I know it. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually..

Lav, do you do anything special to help yourself with procrastination issues? Or have you just accepted it? Some people work better if they procrastinate and then have to mad rush it in the end.. but for me, it definitely leads to fear and very much unwanted stress!

ok. off to work..see you all later!

[tonyniceday]

Morning nest!

Great topics going on here and elsewhere at the moment!

I was going to write something about procrastination - but I think I'll do that later !!!

[Eloise]

I usually say I feel better without drinking alcohol. Then the reply is 'then don't drink too much'
Then I say ' sure, but with time I don't care how much I drink as no one else does' or 'sure, but things get out of hand before I realize it'
I don't know... I need a better line. One of my friends is allergic to it ' she turns all red after like two sips.'
If I say that my husband will pipe up 'that isn't true!'
omg.
I didn't do my homework one night for my Chinese class and the first thing he says is 'she didn't do her homework.'
This is AFTER we had a discussion of how we wouldn't mention it to the teacher because it will seem disrespectful to her.
He did his homework and so he got to demonstrate he is superiour.
This is what I deal with all the time Byrdie. I really think it is an ongoing midlife crisis. I KNOW his IQ is higher than mine and his memory is better.
Whooptiedoo.
Ah... feel better!
oh and when I asked him why in the world he needed to say that before we even sat down?
There was no answer. He couldn't believe I asked the question. My bad indeed.
None of it matters but the issue is his good character & my respect for him is headed south and this is really not good.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, nesters, and welcome back, Wagmore!!!

Eloise, I have a good line I use and it works without fail, but I actually DO have Crohn's Disease/Ulcerative Colitis so that won't work for you. Let's see, you are a Meditator....maybe you could use something like you are eliminating toxic foods or following a lifestyle that goes the other way? Tell them it aggravates a couple of conditions you have going on (they don't have to know it's your marriage and your liver). If all else fails, "I'm just not much of a drinker" works! I'm trying to think of things your hubs couldn't dispute....have you suffered from acid reflux or stomach ulcers? I have a friend who won't touch carbonated beverages....she says they are like battery acid to her insides...(yet she drinks beer, go figure) so maybe something along those lines. I'll keep thinking.

Colonoscopy tomorrow. Yes, it's that time again. I went to the fridge to get some of my Chinese soup broth this morning and it tastes like its rancid. I already want to hurl and it's not 8 AM yet! It's going to be a LONG day.

So that's my tale this morning. Lifechange, I am one to procrastinate also, I make appointments with myself and that works. If I have something I don't want to do I put it on my schedule. If it makes it to my schedule, I'll do it, so that's a trick I use. Good luck!!

Hugs to all, enjoy your solid food today! WAHHHHHHH! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Good luck with the colonoscopy Byrdie,TJAF,I liked your posts on the"alcoholic" label, I was watching some show and they were talking about someone and referred to them as "an alcoholic and former drug user" ok,now how come they're a "former drug user" but still called"alcoholic"? I just thought it was kinda unfair,wishing everyone a great Thursday

[paulywogg]

Oh and BTW,I know how serious alcoholism is,I'm not trying to downplay it at all,I know what I am but I'm working on it,I just don't care for the label, time to move on, sometimes if someone used to be obese and lose the weight people still talk about how big they used to be,well they're not now so drop it right?you'd figure anyways

[KENSHO]

Howdy Peeps! Beautiful early fall morning here. Looking forward to a productive day. I know that we shouldn't focus on "doing", but I can't seem to shake the good feelings I get from "getting stuff done". Maybe another addiction? Maybe part of the best rewards for a slightly ADD, procrastinator like me? Seems to be a commonality among a few folks here. NS - you strike me as the analytical type, who organizes and gets things done way ahead of schedule - is this the case? Just wondering.

I have a lot of trouble saying I'm an alcoholic. In my eyes, I just don't seem to equal what that term means to me. But I certainly had a problem with alcohol, abused it, and it controlled me - I was addicted. I'm shaking that addiction now, and feel that I will always have a brain wired for troubled alcohol use, and so I must avoid it. Now, though, I just say with a smile, "Oh no thanks, I don't drink", and move along in conversation. If people pry, and some do, I just say "Drinking doesn't agree with me." If they REALLY pry - I just say "It became an unhealthy habit that wasn't doing me any favors". That way, It's less about being broken and more about choosing my best life.

Funny thing... last night putting my son to bed, we were looking through the halloween mags that are already out. A party supply catalog. They had a picture of probably whisky in a glass that said "poison" on it, and a skeleton drinking it. I thought - how appropriate.

Have a lovely day all!

[Siren53]

@Eloise - for those of us of a certain age (I'm 46 and just about entering my 'change of life' - a bullshite phrase if I ever heard one) our bodies change and our tastes change. I'm not sure how old you are but if you feel the need to give an excuse you could simply say "I used to really enjoy drinking but I just don't enjoy it anymore. It doesn't taste good and it makes me feel icky no matter how much or little I drink. It's just not worth it anymore." It works for me - that and the absolute fact that I suffer from insomnia and depression - two things that AL makes so much worse.

[Darkest Diamonds]

I vary what I say about declining alcohol, depending on the company and my mood. One line that always works for me is "No thanks, having had cancer once I am doing everything I can to avoid a return, not drinking gives me a better chance of staying in remission". (True)

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Busy here today but wanted to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
I have refrained from giving people excuses about not drinking. I won't even allow people to question me - it's none of their business, is it?? That's were my Lavan-ittude comes in handy, ha ha

Have a peaceful night everyone!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Here. Long day; can't wait for bed. I craved a drink tonight. Sometimes I just want the never-ending brain to stop the noise - and alcohol did that, until it didn't. No worries though, I'll relax soon enough!

Have a good night everyone.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Been MIA - I had an amazingly crazy busy weekend jam packed with fun and productive stuff. NOW I am exhausted and wish I took just a bit of it off. I guess it IS already Thursday - believe my, I will chill out this weekend.

I LOVE the Lavattitude, always. But not being so slick and sure of myself, after 2.5 years I JUST said for the first time "I don't drink." Still sounds weird to me. If people ask why I just say "I had enough in my earlier life and the hangovers started to become unbearable." Nobody really cares or notices most times, which I find unbelievable!

I do love your truth bombs, TJAF.

I am finding parenting two teens to be a bit stressful. Tonight I looked at my DH's beer and thought how quickly I could reduce my stress. Did some deep breathing instead, and right as rain (rein?).

Night.
Pav

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters,
A quick accountability fly by on my way to work.. after hitting the snooze button several times! Thank God it's Friday!

[Eloise]

Hope the procedure was not too annoying Brydie?
Okay so I thought of something say to last night about why I won't even have one glass of wine; I am having trouble with keeping my blood sugar stable, best to avoid all sugars.
Then I can pull out my blood sugar monitor! Once I find one that is. I do think I have trouble w/the blood sugar, so it isn't a lie.
I am a terrible liar so what is the point? I think it might be fun to just say one time "I am a raging Alcoholic, I go completely wild. You would not want to be around to see the shenanigans I get up to when I drink. No, not good."

Good Morning, nesters, and welcome back, Wagmore!!!

Eloise, I have a good line I use and it works without fail, but I actually DO have Crohn's Disease/Ulcerative Colitis so that won't work for you. Let's see, you are a Meditator....maybe you could use something like you are eliminating toxic foods or following a lifestyle that goes the other way? Tell them it aggravates a couple of conditions you have going on (they don't have to know it's your marriage and your liver). If all else fails, "I'm just not much of a drinker" works! I'm trying to think of things your hubs couldn't dispute....have you suffered from acid reflux or stomach ulcers? I have a friend who won't touch carbonated beverages....she says they are like battery acid to her insides...(yet she drinks beer, go figure) so maybe something along those lines. I'll keep thinking.

[tonyniceday]

Morning Nest

Byrdie - All the best for today - no cracks about the procedure today...ooops sorry!

Kensho and Pav - Well done for getting through! Pav it was strangely reassuring to see that even someone with over 1000 days gets the "pangs" sometimes - it makes me feel more normal (if an Alki can EVER be described as "normal"!)

Busy day again today and tomorrow and then I'm giving myself a day off on Sunday (hopefully).

Have a great AF day and weekend everyone!

Tony