Newbies Nest

[tonyniceday]

Did you read back Tony?

I think you may be overthinking this. She is a psychiatrist .... Of course she will ask you questions relating to your beliefs about your mental health.

It seems to have sent you into a panic and she may have either intentionally or inadvertently sparked off a deep worry your have been carrying.

Please read back and try to relax. We are ALL perfectly mentally well at our core so you need not worry

Note to self... read back before postingosteroops:

Maybe I am overthinking but it really is playing on my mind... oh well

[NoSugar]

If your internet shapes up, Tony, I'd really encourage you to take a look at some of the Bill Pettit videos linked above :hug:. He's not a great speaker but he has a lot to say.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a great day, love the AF life

Tony, may I jump in & say I think you seem perfectly well balanced so don't worry yourself unnecessarily.
I imagine we all have phases in our lives when we feel sure & strong & phases when we feel unsure. I sure know that has applied to me over the course of my lifetime.
For me the best medicine was kicking AL out of my life & turning my attention to today, the only day we really have. Practicing gratitude every day has been a tremendous help & leaving the past in the past where it belongs. You are doing very well, just keep moving forward

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Quick jump in to say good night. The day went vey well, I work with a great bunch of guys! A couple meetings in the morning and then off to the airport.
Stay strong everyone, Im so glad I did! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Lavitude! Bottle it up. I will say that quitting drinking has left me feeling much more strong and assured much more of the time. It took a while to iron things out, but I have found a confidence I didn't have when drinking. When I talk to "normies" about this, it seems to also be helpful that I'm getting older. Things have a way of being less drastically important now, and I can have self-satisfaction without always needing approval from others. At least that's one silver lining to all this other stuff! Tony, I recommend exercise, meditation/mindfulness and gratitude. I used to think Lav was full of hot air, but I practiced gratitude because she said it worked, and dang if she wasn't right! Another lesson from this site - listen and be willing to believe those who have gone before you!

Byrdie, glad your day went well. Nice to have a great team.

I had a productive day, too. I am venturing to a place in my work that has left me vulnerable and surrounded by people who are saying that it will never work and I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. Fortunately, I am strong and secure, and I have a fantastic team, lots of hard work, and the support of my family. Even if this venture ultimately fails, I know I will have given it my best SOBER shot. That is an amazing feeling.

Happy Hump Day, Nest. Stick close.

Pav

[Eloise]

I can totally understand and empathise with your confusion Tony.
Personally I believe in science and do not think it is a matter of opinion. People's opinions clearly shape how we see ourselves, however, and this is where things can become very confusing and unclear.
They are still not able to draw a clear line between scientific knowledge and conjecture when it comes to mental health, but looking back a hundred years or so they are definitely making progress.

Wishing you (me and the rest of us) a peaceful day.
Just a thought but maybe you should just tell her how her question has effected you this week?

[Guitarista]

You go for it with your project Pav. I'd be backing you.

Thanks for the 3 Ps interview link with Bill the psychiatrist SB. Enjoyed it meself.

Any mental health issues i have magically become active when i'm drinking, but are manageable, dormant, or seem to disappear when living sober, with some simple basic self care strategies. It starts with my thinking and how i manage thoughts.

Hope all are travelling okay.

[KENSHO]

Lovely posts, thank you all. Such strong, grounded wisdom from the long-timers. I'm ready for more of that, but I'll admit, I've had a strong case of the f&$k-its this week. Luckily, I have indulged in junk food over alcohol - but the temptation has been there. I know that it will pass if I focus on why I don't drink.

Byrdie, I noticed you said you spent time with your old boss... how did THAT go? Must not be no hard feelings there?

LAV & PAV - I LOVE your posts; thank you for being stellar examples. PAV - not sure what you're venturing into, but best be with you. No guts, no adventure, no growth, right?

On the topic of what others think of us - reminds me of the song from a young lady named Grace on the show "America's Got Talent". She sang a song with her ukulele (my fav!) a couple nights ago with the lyrics "Baby you cannot mold me, cause I'm not made of clay" - and something about words not hurting her because she knows who she is. That is what not drinking does to me - I feel it brings me closer to who I am and I like that person - what others think doesn't matter as much.
Grace VanderWaal Debuts ‘Clay’ During ‘America’s Got Talent’ Finals – Watch Now! | America's Got Talent, Grace VanderWaal, Music, Reality TV, Television : Just Jared

Have a happy day everyone! I'm off do to my free pilates class that I won - even though I feel I don't have time for it with my stack of work. I'm happier exercising!

[Eloise]

What a day.
5 hours in the car to request a Visa only to be turned away.
I wont go into why. We felt really defeated this afternoon. I am not going to complain more, no point in that, but I do want to say that after a 20 minute meditation I feel quite a bit better.
I really don't understand why, but I do. Calms the mind is the obvious explanation. Somehow these meditations give me the strength to carry on. We will get through all this.

Hang in there Kensho. You have to take care of you in these stressful early days of your quit. Easier said than done, I know.

[Siren53]

5 hours in the car to request a Visa only to be turned away.

Yikes!! I used a company to source my visa when I was going to live in India. It costs more than I thought it should, but they did all the hard work and sent me my passport with visa included. I actually sent my info to them while on vacation in Disney World. I'm not sure where you are or which visa you need, but consider having a 3rd party do it for you and remove the stress!

[Eloise]

Well Siren, the mistake was not something we made. The Chinese government forgot to upload a required form into the database so Embassys abroad can see it & process the documents.
Good suggestion though, thanks.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

I did it. I picked up the phone and quit my second job.

The videos you guys posted got me thinking. How our bodies and psyche screams at us with a whole list of symptoms. When I quit al, I started working like a maniac. A bit burned out these days. And there is symtoms. Its not worth it. Will have to go in once or twice more, then it is done. Feel much calmer.

Eloise - what a visa-frustration! Really feel for you. The waiting is very uncomfortable when all you want to do is go!

Kensho - you are flying through the days again. Celine Dion's song about recovering had me in tears yesterday. The part about 'take back my peace of mind'. That is a big one al steels. There is no peace in covering up symptoms and constantly figuring out how, when, what to drink.

Exhausted after making decisions today. Need some sleep.

Later

[Guitarista]

Sounds like it was a good move Just me. Self care at work. Congratulations!

A woman i know mentioned she had thrown herself into her work this past year which helped her stay busy and keep some personal issues she hadn't dealt with off her mind and at bay, and was devastated that she may now decide to leave that job as it is unsafe, unsupported and uninsured to say the least. I think she'll be alright though. She's a tough cookie like you.

Crikey Eloise. That would piss me orf big time. Like you, i appreciate my meditation practice, as fledgling as it might be at this point. I'll be negotiating visa's this time next year when i travel. A long term student visa for Spain can take a few months, then you have to muck around getting a couple of other permits when you arrive! Bureauocracy eh?! :cuss:

Kensho, you make some excellent points why living sober allows us to shine.

Safe travels out there y'all.

[Byrdlady]

Just boarded second flight home. It was a good meeting. I was the ONLY NON DRINKER. Interestingly my old boss (who got me the job) remembers me as a light drinker! Boy did I have him fooled.
Will catch up tomorrow with posts, it's been a nonstop week.
Stay strong everyone. You will be so glad you did! B

[Siren53]

My first evening without antabuse and my boyfrined passed quite uneventfully. I got a ton of stuff done and, with my tea in hand, didn't even think about drinking. Phew - maybe this is my last quit. Wouldn't that be great?? Have a safe night nesters. Catch you with the birdies in the morning.