Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like everyone is hanging in & focusing on good self-care, great!
We all deserve a better life without the pain & burden of addiction. Making a good plan & sticking to it, no matter what helps us meet out goals

Eloise, I really hope you get the visa thing straightened out soon.
Justme, congrats on making that call!!!
Hope you are home safely by now Byrdie.
Siren, you're making progress, good for you

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Eloise]

Interestingly enough I feel more defeated than anything else.
I do not feel frustrated, angry, surprised or anxious. I feel sad.
Thanks for the well wishes guys.

I had a drinking thought today for the first time in a really long time.
I was out for a walk w/the dog who can still go for walks.

Just pictured myself preparing a table of salmon, fresh spinach and a glass of white wine.
Going back to my old ways.
No, no, no. Erase that image.

The story ends with me coming home, preparing a healthy lunch and staying calm and in the moment.
I will be fine. I will ride this storm and life will get easier.

[Eloise]

Amazing right?
My previous boss, with whom I was quite close and still am, is of the same opinion as your old boss.
When I told her I quite drinking she was really surprised and rather baffled.
Anyway, doesn't matter. I still love her.

Just boarded second flight home. It was a good meeting. I was the ONLY NON DRINKER. Interestingly my old boss (who got me the job) remembers me as a light drinker! Boy did I have him fooled.
Will catch up tomorrow with posts, it's been a nonstop week.
Stay strong everyone. You will be so glad you did! B

[Byrdlady]

What a day! Nothing compared to yohrs, Eloise. Gosh, Im so sorry, I hope your paperwork gets straightened out soon.
Tony, you are one of the most stable and balanced folks I know. I have a customer that I am convinved is batshit crazy. I have decided Im not going to pursue his business, if he wants me, he knows where I am. Enough of his abuse, today he told me that I tricked him into signing the last order...... Sorry to say, Im just not that smart. I have had it with the guy.
I am overwhelmed with the job, everyone pulling me for information on how much I can sell and I have no idea. Gonna have to work this weekend to try and catch up, Im one big knot of stress. A little training would go a long way, but thats nowhere in sight.
Kensho, I worked for a guy years ago at the xompany I was with and he moved on. Eventually, he came to this company and was a big part of my getting hired. The manager who laid me off? I have no desire to speak to again. So the guy I was referring to I just loved back when I worked for him. I couldnt stand to be in the same room with the guy who laid me off.
Glad to be home and glad its the weekend.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Happy weekend to all!
Beautiful day here in Lav-land, got a few things done outside which made me happy

Eloise, I'm sending you positive thoughts (and a bit of Lavan-ittude too if you need some). Everything is going to work out OK, that's what I believe!

Byrdie, hope you can clear your head & relax this weekend. We don't want you working & worrying yourself into a frenzy. We need you in good shape around here

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Eloise]

I wee bit off kilter this morning; did yoga and mindfulness though. Starting out with a good protein breakfast and lots of water.
Gosh. I threw an afghan of sorts over my suitcases and now they are a side table! :thumbsup:
I think I will throw myself into my art today and stay away from the email. It is amazing how my little brain starts to obsess wondering 'any news? any news?!!" **panic, panic***
Yes please send Lavan-ittude and lots of it.
Glad it is week-end for you Brydie and you can decompress.
I did get a Skype message about my expected arrival in China this morning. So, they are expecting me anytime.
At least I know I DO have a job and it WILL start at some point. I expect not before the first week of October.
I was hoping to go next week, but that clearly is not going to happen. I just have to keep my expectations in check and not give much notice of the anxiety filled emails I receive from the other teachers also waiting on visas.
A peaceful mind is the name of the game for me, nothing else will do.

[tonyniceday]

Hi nest

I read somewhere that day 90 to 100 are really hard. I've not been feeling well over the last day or so and it may be partly that but has anyone else experienced this? And how did you deal with It?

[Darkest Diamonds]

Hi Tony,
I completely agree with you, in 2014 I managed about 89 days, around this time I learnt that my mum had between six months and a year to live, also I had cancer at the time and was having treatment, then I had an infestation of mice in the floor boards in the flat above me, they seemed to be nesting in the ceiling above my bed, I would hear them scurrying about. I drank and then I left the forum as I felt I'd let myself down. However hard things are, don't drink, it's not worth it. DD

[starty]

Hi Tony, yes I found 90 days and 6 months very very tough. It did take a while to get through. I think it is the pink cloud has floated somewhat and also very much a case of the "what nexts"

[starty]

Oh and how I dealt with it was making a few changes to my life, like doing new stuff and trying to ignite a bit of passion in my day to day living. New hobbies and the like

[satz123]

Oh and how I dealt with it was making a few changes to my life, like doing new stuff and trying to ignite a bit of passion in my day to day living. New hobbies and the like

Starts I did the opposite. I kept life very simple.
If I wanted to eat cake I ate it.
If I wanted to sit and binge watch Game of Thrones - i did it.

Slowly I began to take enjoyment in simple things and that has remained.

It was the constant chasing 'something' outside of me to make me happy that landed me where I was.

( now to battle the sugar addiction I've developed) :egad:

[starty]

Starts I did the opposite. I kept life very simple.
If I wanted to eat cake I ate it.
If I wanted to sit and binge watch Game of Thrones - i did it.

Slowly I began to take enjoyment in simple things and that has remained.

It was the constant chasing 'something' outside of me to make me happy that landed me where I was.

( now to battle the sugar addiction I've developed) :egad:

Ahh yes interesting point Satzy. Maybe that is where I am going wrong. Trouble with me is I feel guilty if I do nowt. And the less I do the more I live in me head. Hmmmmmm food for thought indeed!

[Darkest Diamonds]

Greeetings,
I have drunk again. This time I managed 55 days.

It all got too much, I needed to escape, the last 55 days have been the hardest of my life, mainly due to my darling dad, I am constantly having to make huge decisions on his behalf. He is losing his mind, he is aware of this and it causes him great distress. Sometimes he is completely lucid. Physically he is now very weak and falls over rather regularly. He was completely independent last year, I would cook and clean for him at the weekends but in the week he managed on his own. At the moment he is in a care home (has been for a few months) at first he wanted to be there, now he does not, I am doing everything I can to get him back in his own house, he would need four carers a day and I would look after him at weekends and in the holidays when I am not teaching.

Yesterday I had the day off so I visited Dad (I visit him every day that I do not work) he fell over while I was there! This was distressing for him and for me, I want to get him back to his own home, but if he is falling over this is worrying. I love my dad with every fibre of my being and I hate to see him being institutionalised in this home, it is a good place but they are understaffed and they like dad a lot but they don't realise what a wonderful man he is ... the conversations that they give him do not enrich his life, some of the staff make him laugh, which is lovely but none of them challenge him intellectually. I am on a mission to get him back in his own house but this is not easy.

When I am with dad he often puts his head in his hands and cries, this breaks me.

Financially this last few months have been hard, I have spent over £20,000 (my life's savings on dad) if he does stay in the care home I will have to sell his house, which I don't want to do as he wants to go back there!

I drank yesterday, as I watched my dad fall over I knew I was going to drink, after his fall I spent another four hours with him, he was not seriously hurt, but my switch had gone off, I was going to drink, yes I have an immense back up plan but I just wanted OUT!! I did not want to reflect on the bad drinking times, I did not want to ring the Samaritans, or go to AA, or have a bubble bath or post on here..... I wanted to block it all out with a drink....... and I did!!

[tonyniceday]

..... in 2014 I managed about 89 days ..... I drank and then I left the forum as I felt I'd let myself down...

Don't leave, this time DD... we cannot help with your Dad, but we can, collectively, help with the drinking... stay with us...you WILL get there

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, nesters.
DD! Im so sorry that life is so challenging at the moment. Aging parents are a tough one. I can tell you this with absolute certainty, AL does not fix it at all. I drank at problems for a lot of years and I wanted that escape. I was just talking to someone yesterday about this...AL is a quick and easy escape, howcver it comes with a very high price. I hope you can get right back up and carry on. Keeping a clear head is going to be your best friend in all this, NOT AL. In fact, AL makes everything worse and makes circumstances seem hopeless. We are thinking of you, DD.
Tony, it's an interesting question you pose about the 100 day thing. I think there are a couple of things going on. We are about to hit a major goal.....this would be a good time to fail and prove everyone right.....blah, blah, blah. I didnt think I would make it and failing now would just go to show. Its also sort of like a bride after the wedding is over...all the spotlight was on the achievment, now what? Is THIS all there is? There are a lot of emotions bubbling up. Its one reason the 100 Day Maintenance Thread was created, it is incentive to push thru to the BIG TABLE. Yes, it seems like those last few inches are hard, but can assure you, they are worth it. On Roll Call you get a prize and get to make a speech and everything. 100 Days in our world is a big deal and not everyone gets there.....dont be a statistic! Remember, all you gotta do is get thru THIS day! We believe in you!
Im doing several loads of laundry, jealous? Im living the dream, last week a colonoscopy, followed ny a National Sales meeting, now chores! I cant tell you how glad I am to be doing all this sober. That meeting would have been extremely difficult had AL been in the mix. There are about 3 of the 7 reps I would say have serious AL problems. One guy had 6 mixed drinks on the dinner check, he had 3 at the bar before we were seated, he also drank a baileys and coffee that one girl got by accident. Yep, to have been functioning as well as he was, Id say his tolerance is way on up there.
Anyway, I am so thankful that Im now comfortable being the only nondrinker at a dinner like that. It takes practice!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie