Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
MWO was down a goodly portion of last night, glad to see it back up and running!
JKM, glad to see you lurking! I lurked for a couple months, then when I was ready to post I could figure out how! So you've got a jump on me! We are ready to listen when you are ready to talk. That's the great place about the nest, it's a soft place to land.

I'm glad it's Friday!
Kensho, thinking of you....this workload we are carrying, it gets heavy! Hugs your way.
Hope everyone has a great Friday, it's just the weekend, NOT a ticket to Boozeville! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!!

I have to say, I really feel for all of you with such heavy work loads. I work hard but for the most part don't have too much stress with it.

Kensho, I think I might also decline if it makes you too uncomfortable.. seems like this would be one of those times to really listen to your gut feeling. Could be a great opportunity, but only if you're feeling really confident and strong and positive about it.. just my 2 cents..:happy2: I sure hope your daughter is feeling well soon..

I have a very jam packed weekend which I'm sort of excited about.. all really fun stuff, but at the moment I'm pretty darn tired! I'm sure I'll pep up a bit after a good night's sleep.

Hope everyone is set for a nice af weekend!

[Eloise]

What a day. So much unprovoked and entirely unnecessary drama in this house, it makes me feel a bit sick.
My visa paperwork arrived for the 2nd round and I will resubmit my application Monday. Pray it is accepted this times guys.

Kensho, I feel for you. Drinking will make things worse, try and slow down your thoughts somehow. Today I had to remind myself that 90% of the crap I worry about will never happen. We will make it through these hard days, and if you decide not to drink I guarantee you won't regret it.

[available]

Morning nesters

Welcome JKM, lurking is good, participation is better. We all understand.

A lovely sunny day here. Life has settled down and decided to do some spring cleaning this weekend. Not sure that is a good idea as i start in one area and then move on to another till i have a huge mess and then its nap time.

LC everything is good after a good nights sleep. It took me over a year and a half to get my sleep to at least 7 hours a night and i love it. I am looking after my sons dog atm and he is a big dog and takes up half the damn bed, throw in my two little ones and its squishy to say the least.

My daughters bf came over last night and he had been drinking, damn my tolerance for drunks is zero now. I smiled and looked interested but thought "go away", oops! I did manage to have a game of mario kart on WII with said daughter and i do think i played better drunk! Though coming last was not soooooo bad. Now i am on a mission to improve my kart skills sober. Its funny how the things i used to do drunk i avoided getting back in to. Maybe it was the thought they would bring on those drinking urges but no and i have much more fun.

Nearly 3 years sober and still growing! No hurry here.

Take care x

[Lavande]

Ava, I like that we are all still growing up with each other
Have fun doggie sitting!!!

Eloise, keeping my fingers crossed for you & your visa

LC, get some much needed rest & enjoy your weekend!

Hi there Byrdie, are you baking anything good this weekend?

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
Lav

[Jkm123]

Tomorrow I'm planning my first day AF in 3ish years.....

[wagmor]

JKM - Sounds like tomorrow will be a great day for you. Congrats on making the commitment to being AF. Be sure to post in the Roll Call if you feel comfortable - it can be very inspiring and motivating.

Kensho - lots of challenges on your end. I look forward to hearing what you decided to do about the weekend, but kudos for sticking to your plan of not drinking even when it tempted as an escape.

[wagmor]

Yesterday was a bummer to have MWO not working. I came home from a great day, only to receive a text from a client who didn't feel like she should have to pay for work I had done. I felt insulted and undervalued. I'm a teacher/trainer, and I don't make a ton of money to begin with, but this text really triggered me for some reason. My first 60 days AF were relatively easy compared to other quits - I've been very resolute this time around - so I was kinda shocked when my thoughts last night strayed to "I really want to have a drink to escape feeling so bad."

I tried to log on here, but the site was still down.

I did NOT have a drink and I banished the temptation fairly quickly, but it was an eye-opener to see how quickly things can turn. I learned some things about myself - both in terms of a key trigger (escaping uncomfortable feelings) and perhaps how I've fallen off course in the past. I think when I had my long AF period back in 2014, I used to use the strategy of making myself wait 15 minutes before I gave in to any sort of temptation. Often, it was probably several 15-minute stretches strung together before the temptation passed, but I vaguely remembering making that promise to myself. Yesterday was a clear example of why that approach worked so well for me before. When I got the text, I wanted a drink. Less than an hour later (probably more like 20-30 mins), I was so grateful I hadn't given in, and the temptation had completely passed.

I will tuck this away in my notes to self, but wanted to share in case it helps someone else.

Hugs to all of you. Thank you for being part of this community, and so glad we have the nest together.

[KENSHO]

Howdy cool (sober) people! This week kicked my ass. Tonight we went out to dinner with the family and I had water. Yep, clear, refreshing, nourishing, non-alcoholic water. The best part is that I feel fabulous at 10:48 pm. The husband decided that tequila would numb his pain (he's catching the flu crud that is hitting hard here), and had two. Needless to say, he feels like worse butt than he did before. Why I ever thought of alcohol as medicine is beyond me. The good news is that I may be able to cancel the family visit to the client's condo. I will probably offer to go up on Sunday during the day to see their "ideas". Not really a restful weekend after a hard week, but once in awhile, I am willing to sacrifice time to keep them happy. And I can keep it professional easier when I'm by myself.

jkm, way to go on making tomorrow day 1! Do you have a solid plan? I think the people who have had the most success here seem to have made a plan. We are all behind you - go for it and don't look back. You won't regret being sober!

Ava, how's your son?

[lifechange]

Good early morning, Nesters!
I just had a lovely coffee. sitting at the open window as the sun rose. There aren't many things I love more than that.. talk about triggering good memories.. meditation retreat, vacation in Greece..

Welcome, JKM.. here's to you on day 1. What has helped me more than anything during the first days, is staying glued to MWO..reading the entire Toolbox, watching and reading the recommended links, writing a lot.. Here in the Nest you can write every few minutes if you want to.. everything you're feeling..We all understand and we're all here to support you!

Eloise, I'm praying for you, that the Visa goes through easily this time!!! And I totally agree with what you said about worry.. remaining in the present is really the only thing that makes sense for our mental well-being, isn't it?

Kensho, super solution!! That's clear brain thinking straight up.. I think it's so helpful for all of us when we post problems/difficulties we're having and then the solutions we arrive at. It's gives the entire group strength!!

Ava, I had to laugh at the image of you and the big dog plus 2 small dogs.. I'm amazed you can sleep at all! I've been meaning to ask about your schooling.. are you studying to become a counselor? I'm very excited about your 3 year celebration coming up the 1st of December.. we're really going to have to do it up!

Wagmor, that was a great post.. thank you for sharing with us..it's good for me to remember (when I'm feeling so amazingly strong) that the cravings can come out of nowhere.. I've also found the 15 minute rule very helpful in the past..

Big shout out and hugs to everyone stopping by today.. I'll check in again tonight when I get home!

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

LC - I am up early too! What a difference from waking up hung over. So much more we can do and enjoy over a weekend when we are sober.

Jkm - lots of water, food,activated charcoal and something fun like watching movies to distract you. Would love to hear how you are doing.

Kensho - sounds like you made the best decision for yourself. Have to say I can't focus when my kids are in between work stuff. Like typing this post... son wants tablet to play games, so I am typing fast! but promised myself to check in!

Eloise - it helped me a lot to read that 90% we worry about won't happen. My thoughts this week just complicates simple things I could do to still try and work in the city. Glad you are a step closer with your visa.

Wagmor - good post! The triggers just jump out of nowhere! My ex and kids came to visit for the weekend yesterday. (So happy!!!) I phoned before I went to buy some stuff for the weekend. Ex asked if I wouldn't mind to pick up beer for him. I didn't. But when I walked into the liquor store and saw my brand my brain screamed: There you are!! Weird thought and emotion. Like seeing an old friend and wanting to know what happened since the last time we saw oneanother... but it passed quickly.

We are still fixing up my place incase an opportunity for me to move comes along. Another DIY weekend.

Hi Lav, Byrd, Ava and others checking in.

Hope you relax a bit Byrd!

Better go. Window frames don't paint themselves...

Happy Sober Saturday!

[tonyniceday]

Hi Nest

JKM - Welcome to your day 1 - Do you have a particular time of day you would always start drinking? Some people do, and if that's you then I would plan something different for that time of day today (Whether it's watching a film, going for a walk, taking part in your favourite hobby or whatever) Just something to distract you away at that time.

Take every bit of help you can whether that's continually posting on here, or getting medical assistance with your detox, or just drinking loads of water or juice and having food...even the food that you think is bad for you is better than the alcohol right now!

Stay with us and we'll help with whatever advice you need.

Why not put your name on the roll-call as day 1 - have a look at all the numbers for people on there yesterday and remember every one there is with you and everyone there started with a day 1...We KNOW what you're going through.

[available]

Evening nesters.

Jkm it took me ten years to think about stopping drinking. I drank everyday ending in a Y and if you ask any long termers they will all say "if i can do it, anyone can" and its true. Make sure you say hello regularly and settle in.

Kensho, i used to drink when i was sick, how sick is that. Just another excuse to pour al down my throat, now i like being sick so i dont have to go to work. My son is at his nans and is okay. He actually went and spent some time with an uncle he has not seen since he was a toddler (now 28) and had a lovely time. He has been clean from ICE for 3 years and know he has a lot of emotional healing to do, which of course being a man he thinks he hasnt. Maybe this is a step in the right direction. I am certain he will not relapse, he is as stubborn as his mother!

LC yes im studying drug and al and mental health counselling. I really enjoy it but so need to motivate to do my homework. Cleaning the garage was much more enticing but will get stuck into it. I have one year left where i work before it is financially beneficial for me to leave so then i can do a complete career change. So much to learn and i know if i was drinking there is no way i could have done this. Wish i was sitting with you having that coffee, i love the quiet of mornings.

Just, happy diy for you. I must say i did feel a sense of pride and accomplishment cleaning said garage. So much crap from when the kids moved out and in and out and in and out and in. You sound good.

Well time to feed the herd of animals, i seem to get landed with all of them. 1 guinea pig, 2 cats, 3 dogs and 2 budgies. None are mine, funny that.

Take care x

[Eloise]

Listening to a really nice Bubble Hour this morning while I draw: Sobriety through a Crisis.
I am not really having a crisis, but I think my husband is.
Lordie.
Breathe.

Good plan to cancel client visit Kensho. This is all about you these days and well done with that water last night!
Available: how annoying to have to be patient with your daughter's boyfriend.
Oh and I would also drink if I was sick sometimes- seemed more fun than just being sick?
bizarre thinking.
What are budgies?
Something funny guys: Yesterday I saw this man, he had to be 70, sneaking to hide a bottle of something that looked like spirits into the back of his car. Only a true drinker would have recognised that sneaky walk, and Yup! I did!
A minute or two later two elderly folks come walking up to him and he slowly walks them to the car. He played his 'l'air de rien' ( i am not doing anything special just checking out the birds up there in the sky).
Interesting. Glad there is no more sneaking around for me.

Yeah, Sobriety through Crisis- a good reminder!

[NoSugar]

When I got the text, I wanted a drink. Less than an hour later (probably more like 20-30 mins), I was so grateful I hadn't given in, and the temptation had completely passed

One thing I've really been getting my head around over the last several months is not making an important decision or really, doing or saying much of anything from a low state. A text like that could certainly bring you down and choosing to drink when your goal is not to would be a huge decision. It's amazing how quickly our heads can clear sometimes! Other times it takes longer, but our thoughts eventually will change, our moods lift, and better decisions made. Great job on what you did, Wags, and I hope your client also realizes s/he perhaps acted from a bad place and ends up treating you fairly.