Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Checking in to say HI and of course I'm sober. I have back-to-back-to-back things/reports/ etc. due and have been typing away for about a week and a half. My arms and neck are very sore from sitting at my computer so much. Thankfully I'll get a short break this morning and then back at it.

I am sorry I haven't been participating much with you all, but I know the crew is here.

JKM, welcome! I can't tell you how much my anxiety subsided when I quit drinking. It took a little bit, but man, was it worth it. Tapering is a good plan if it will ease your fears, but it is VERY hard to do because it doesn't take too much until the alcohol is telling you "just a wee bit more." It sounds like you have a good plan, though.

This current report is due tomorrow, then another one due the next week, and then I am done typing for a while and might be able to check in more often.

Pav

[Jkm123]

Hi all, I'm here. No sweats last night so i feel i didn't taper enough. Only two glasses of wine should be enough though. I want to go somewhere but i can't imagine going to the mall or walmart sober. How sad it that. Ive been sober monday through friday 8-5 for three years now. Even before that i drank alot. I guess I just have to be uncomfortable until I'm not. How does one do things sober?

[Byrdlady]

JKM, we have a saying around here, "Fake it til you make it". Everything is new to us as sober people, but I can atest to the fact that once you do it, it's 1000 times better! There is a learning curve for sure. Getting sober is a skill, the more you do it, the better you get. Hugs to you, Byrdie

[okoren1]

What a BRILLIANT book. Thanks for the recommendation. This should be compulsory reading in all secondary schools in the western world!

Fin/Kuya- great recommendation on this book. It's just the added, important perspective I could use right now.

I liked the idea of not "trying harder". Sounds so foreign to me in this war. Instead the book advocates The whole thrust of recovery, in fact, is not self-control, but self- acceptance.

I know this is not a new concept in the halls of MWO, but this book states it so simply and matter of factly. Really resonates with me.
Thanks

[okoren1]

How does one do things sober?

Poignant remark!

Truth is, doing things sober is MUCH easier than doing things while drunk.

In my case, when drunk there were so many things I'd have to remember... where did I hide the bottle and other telling evidence? Who did I P.O. with my thoughtless comment(s). Have I used enough mouth wash to cover my breath? Do I risk trying to drive home? What kind of lies did I tell to try to hide the fact that I was loaded?

Oh boy, the list just goes on.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like everyone had a pretty good day

Learning to do things sober was a bit scary at first but then you realize there's nothing to be afraid of, absolutely nothing
And no worrying about what you did or what you said is so freeing!!!
Then you wonder what the hell took you so long to hop on the sober bus, ha ha!

Jkm, sounds like you are OK. Wishing you the best!

Pav, I hope you don't work yourself into a frenzy, take care!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Jkm123]

My plan for the night went pretty well, took benadryl for sleep, and winding down for bed. Hope i sleep at least ok. If all goes well just valume tomorrow. My husband being drunk sure is annoying when im not..

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

Jkm - glad your plans are working out. I experienced that even if I didn't sleep because of al withdrawal, I still felt much better in the morning.

Another Monday ... Not sure how everything is going to work out this week. Still have to go in and finish my second job, but people are sick and not at job # 1. So, I am stuck and physically can't be in 2 places at once.
For now I will just see how this morning unfolds and take it from there. Really not going to waste energy on stress.

Happy Monday!

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters,

Jkm, really good to see you here. It was always difficult for me to imagine doing things sober.. I thought, mostly, how boring. I also found that when I stopped drinking initially I was more tired, in a bad mood. I remember mentioning to my mom that I just felt better, had more energy when I drank.. She told me I had to give it some time. Just like everyone says.. and they were all right. It takes time to balance out the blood sugar, to catch up on sleep, to repair some of the damage we've done physically to our bodies, to find gratitude for the very small things in life. It really does happen though and it doesn't take so long to begin to feel the possibilities. As far as your husband goes, try to just focus on yourself at the moment. Try to put him on the back burner for a while, if possible. For me it helped to find a little spot for myself where I could read and post in peace.. We don't have a lot of space so I put on earphones and listened to music I love to drown out the tv.. or watched films, went for a walk, etc. You are doing a great job!

I've ordered that book you've all recommended and am looking forward to it arriving!

I had such a busy weekend.. people drinking around me, but for the most part it didn't bother me. A tiny pang of, I wish I could drink a beer with the girls (birthday party of my best friend) but it passed quickly and after an hour or so they were all yawning and I felt fresh. I HATEed the tiredness that came after drinking.. being tired and unable to concentrate/focus, getting irritated, not caring about anything except getting home or into bed. Now, even if I'm tired, I can control my mind, I can make myself focus, if necessary.. I can look forward to a good night's sleep, knowing that even 5 or 6 hours, even if not ideal, is manageable if I haven't been drinking.

So this is a very busy week.. in addition to the usual, I have a panel discussion to participate in. I mentioned that I've taken it on as a personal challenge and I guess I'm feeling pretty good about it. If I don't freeze while in the spotlight, everything will be fine!:happy2:

Big hugs to all Nesters!

[lifechange]

X-post Justme.. Good Monday morning! I think your base plan of not wasting energy on stress is a great one. Seeing how the morning unfolds and taking it from there. I keep remembering what I heard a couple of days ago.. these are challenges we face, which life is full of.. and we get to choose whether or not we turn them into mental stress.. You're dealing with what you've got with a clear mind.. and a great attitude.

[tonyniceday]

Morning Nest

Happy Monday - I always feel a bit guilty on a Monday morning with most of you going off to work when it's my day off! Still I worked all weekend...

JKM You are doing great. Well done for sticking to your tapering plan and I'm glad you've got some meds to help you today. Use any tool you can and as Byrdie would say "all you've gotta do is get through THIS day".

As you've now got to your quit day why not put your day 1 on the Roll Call? It's for today (ie you don't have to wait until 24 hours have gone and then put up that you're through day 1) and think of the sense of achievement when tomorrow morning you can put up day 2... It really helps

Just think for today. I know it's said over and again, and it's even in my signature line, but it really is one day at a time, even one hour at a time if necessary.

Stay with us but remember your doing this for YOU, no one else and YOU are worth it!

[Byrdlady]

Great advice, Tony, as always.

Today is the day I find out whether we get the business or not from my first deal at my new job. This one deal could have made my year. I don't feel good about, in fact, I feel sick to my stomach. I call the lady today at 4. This was the appointment I went on my first day on the job. At one point we were the front runner, but then somehow we became yesterday's news. We'll see come 4 o'clock.

Hope everyone has a great day! Byrdie

[Jkm123]

Hi all, feeling pretty good today. I do have the rest of the bottle of wine i didn't drink last night in the fridge and my mind won't let me forget that. But i did not bring any money or cards to work with me so no way i can buy any on the way home. I can make it. Work, gym, dogs, shower, eat, show, bed...period!

[Jkm123]

Btw...hi everyone, i read all of your posts and thank you for your support. Sorry for being so self centered and not commenting just yet.

[KENSHO]

Way to go JKM! Just keep going - even when its uncomfortable. You WILL get to a point when things feel easier and much, much more enjoyable than drinking. Like Lifechange said, it takes time for our bodies to get used to less/no alcohol. And during that time, we can feel angry, depressed, anxious, lost, lonely, scared and generally very out of sorts. But we are so resilient, and we are built to be poison-free, so in a relatively short time you will start to see the positive changes that we talk about here. Just hang in there and have faith! The sober people here are some of the most balanced, wise, self-assured and at peace people I have ever run across! You can have that and be that too!

LC, you sound great. Great, wisdom in your post

OKO, good to see you! Keep up the fight my friend!

Justme, I have to remind myself sometimes that no catastrophes will happen if I don't get "x" done. Just do your best and it will all work out

Speaking of which, I have quite a list of "priorities" that need to be done this week. My clients like to make me feel like they HAVE to get done (and in truth, money will be lost if there are substantial project delays), but STILL - nothing worth killing myself over. I will just keep my nose to the stone and do the best I can.

I am not sure what changed last week - it felt like a tough one - but I feel great this weekend and today. My sense of humor is back and I feel lighter. Maybe its astrological - in the stars. Maybe its that I didn't succumb to my alcohol-voice, or that I am getting more AF days, but it feels good. Maybe it's just that everything cycles, and what feels bad will again feel good. We just have to learn to breathe and appreciate every moment as important - comfortable or not. Attitude, and "just showing up" is half the battle, right?

Happy new week Nesties. Have a good one!