Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Hi JKM! You are in the midst of the hardest part!! NoSugar is right, if you drank right now, you would be delaying the inevitable of having to start over again. It feels SO tempting - and that's the addiction part! Try to see that "voice" telling you to drink as a false voice. The further away you get from it, the easier it is to tell it to F-off. I PROMISE you will not regret NOT drinking - hang in there! This is where the tools are helpful - have you spent time in the toolbox reading what other people have done? Distraction is great - and I found that the actual cravings lasted a relatively short time if I would just keep myself very busy doing all sorts of other things. AND, I made sure I had my favorite non-AL glued to my hand all evening! ALSO, DON'T FORGET TO EAT, EAT, EAT!!! WHATEVER YOU WANT TO EAT - ice cream helps a lot.

You can do this!

[Jkm123]

I didn't do it, I'm sorry nesters. I believe it was the 5 o'clock hunger that got me today, and the fact that i had $. I was doing so well . I will not wait 3 years this time. I will start again tomorrow. My goal is to join the oct monthly thread and make it a sober October. I will not wait three more years...so sorry.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

The day is almost over so I thought I'd jump in & wish everyone a safe night in the nest.
That means you too Jkm - promise you won't let today's decision to drink wreck tomorrow & all the days after. Jump right back on board & let's move forward together.

Peace to all!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Of course you're disappointed, Jkm, but you can forgive yourself, revise your plan (e.g. carry food with you, not $), and start fresh tomorrow. You're not back into a "pattern" after 1 night so this day 1 won't be as hard as if you'd been back to nightly drinking for weeks (or 3 years!). You were doing well and there's no reason you can't get right back to that. See you tomorrow!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
There are scores of great reasons/motivators to get and stay sober, but just to name ONE.....the $$! On AVERAGE, I'd say I was a $10 a day drunk. I am on AF day 2080. If my old math is correct, I have saved myself $20,800. That's the price of a car! That's two trips to Europe for two! That's three weeks of college!! I tell you, it adds up, and I was a cheap drunk! Savings is just one aspect, the most rewarding is the simplicity of life. I don't have to arrange my schedule around booze, how to get it, how to act like I'm not drunk, how to remember what I say. Heck, I'm too dang old for all that work! Lastly, on Tuesday I had my physical and we were going over my blood work. It was REALLY NICE not to have to squirm around waiting for him to ask the question about my raised levels of ____. I did run a test this time for my cholesterol, I made one dietary change. For the past 6 months, I haven't eaten any peanut butter. My levels weren't high by normal standards, but they were a little high for me. I wanted to see if that one change would matter. IT DID. My cholesterol went down NICELY and even my blood glucose was reduced, AND I was down 4 pounds!!! I ate peanut butter on my bagel every single morning (Peter Pan, Crunchy). I noticed my serving had been increasing over time, too. It was a big lifestyle change, and I didn't like it one bit, but I did it. Sort of reminds me of something else..... we can do anything if we set our minds to it. "She believed she could so she did".

Hope everyone has an easy Thursday, Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Byrdie, yesterday I was digging through the toolbox and you had a post on your take on"the plan" I've been searching and I can't find it again, could you please post it?

[abcowboy]

Pauly, and anyone else who'd like to read and work through it, Lifering has a great workbook on recovery and relapse prevention. If you have access to a printer I reccomend printing it and working through it. Have a great mae everyone, remember, no quitting on your quit eh! http://lifering.org/wp-content/uploa...elapseCh11.pdf

[Jkm123]

I'm here, man what a disappointment! I was doing good, i was happy, the fog was lifting the bam! I feel like crap again. Any ideas for what i can eat on the way home and how to stop the back and forth chatter in my head?

[Byrdlady]

Byrdie, yesterday I was digging through the toolbox and you had a post on your take on"the plan" I've been searching and I can't find it again, could you please post it?

Here you go, Pauly.
What Is a Plan?
I heard about this thing called a Plan, and I HAD plans, but I wouldn't call it a PLAN, as such....it was more of a HOPE. A GOAL, even. A PLAN sounded way too formal for this thing I was embarking on...after all, what if I failed? Hope is NOT a strategy. Get yourself a PLAN.

#1 Failure is not an option. When you think you are going to fail, guess what? You FAIL! Wrote this book on this one. Get your mind into a mode of THIS WILL BE DONE. Don't be willy-nilly, or your willy will get nillied. Your mind is your best friend and your biggest enemy. Control IT and you will win. Control your thoughts and you will win.

Get all of the AL out of your house/space. Yes...ALL of it. You don't need a safety net because you are not going to fail. I fought this one hard, but Iwasn't able to succeed until I did it. No, I was NOT different than everybody else, I could not resist it if it was in the house. GET IT OUT.

Get your story down as to why you're not drinking. This is important. Get a story together you can live with. I actually have ulcerative colitis, so I saythat my UC is 1000 times better if I don't drink. If you are a Type A Personality, you might enjoy using 'AL kills my ulcers'. If you are a health nut, "I'm detoxing"....religious nut? "I gave it up for Lent and felt so good I kept going".....you get the idea. Get your story and stick to it.

As Alkies, we aren't used to eating. This is the SILVER BULLET to succeeding.If you have a bad craving and The Voices are knocking, EAT! Eat until you are FULL! Remember those times when you've said, "I can't eat another bite of anything!" That's the full we're talking about. You will not want anything if you EAT!

You are gonna feel like dookey for a few days. I felt flu-like for the first couple weeks, so treat yourself well. Drink plenty of fluids and rest! Your body is changing over from an ethanol burning engine to a food/nutrient burning machine. Have patience as your body makes this transition.

Keep yourself out of temptation. STAY out of the wine aisle at the grocerystore. NO, you are not stronger than this thing, protect your young quit with everything you've got. Stay out of bars and avoid booze parties, especially the first 3 or 4 weeks. I don't care how strong you feel, this is a new thing for us and temptation is everywhere. Avoid it at all costs.

Change your mindset from one of deprivation to one of gratitude. Just look at the folks on here who have made C-changes in their lives!!! They are HAPPY and optimistic! Does this sound like someone who considers themselves deprived? It's all a matter of perspective. Thank God, you don't HAVE to drink today!!!Remember, to a worm, digging around in the hard old ground is a lot more relaxing than going fishing! Try not to throw, attend and participate in PityParties, they serve no good purpose.

Glue yourself to this site and learn everything you can about this condition we have. Knowledge is power. Nothing we do or think hasn't been done or thought before, so look back on the 7 years of experience here and you will find out what happens if you do such and such.

Let go of the past... don't look back. Let it go. ALL of it. Forgive yourself and move on....nothing to see here. There is NOTHING we can do to change what we've done, but we can start today and make things better for our future.

Did I mention gluing yourself here? Read and Post!!! This is key! Being part of a group is important. Like so many have said recently, we find that we actually don't have much of a life outside the bottle! So learning to trust others again is part of our emotional growth and healing. Yes, the Nest does move fast, but we are always on point. You just regained about 4-6 hours a day back,so spending 30 minutes catching up here should be no problem. Staying connected here is a real key to STAYING sober. The world out there is telling us to do something totally counter to what we know we must do. Staying connected with like-minded people is vital. We are swimming upstream on this one...it's nice to have fellow fish to make the journey with us.

I feared someone giving me a drink by mistake....if they ever do, I'm spitting it back in the glass. My quit is my foundation. No one can take it from me.

That's my take on The Plan. Byrdie
__________________

[aihfl]

Byrdie, great post and so full of useful information. I'm not heavily into AA anymore, aside from the occasional meeting I volunteer to run at the rehab I attended, but a few years ago, I read a blurb in a long-ago Grapevine about hunger. Of course the writer was being sarcastic, but his suggestion was when one is craving a drink, have a milkshake instead. If you're still craving alcohol after that, have another. If you're still craving alcohol after that, you're not an alcoholic, you're insane! Just thought I'd share that humorous little tidbit. I've been in and out of detoxes and rehabs so many times, it is gratifying to interact with the staff as a person on the other side of it and not a patient - many of them remember what a sad case I was. Like I said, I'm not heavily into AA, but I appreciate the opportunity to be able to share that no matter what a dark, hopeless pit one's life has become, you CAN be a happy, productive, sober member of society.

[okoren1]

jkm, looks like you are almost there. You appear to have the desire to quit and that is the biggest part of the battle. Keep that focus in your head and you'll be fine. People that don't sincerely have the desire to quit, usually continue to drink.

On your last post, regarding what you can eat on the way home... I don't think anyone has mentioned L-Glutamine to you. This is essentially a free form amino acid and you can buy it at most grocery stores, vitamin shops or pharmacys.

I prefer it in powder form, but it's sold in caplets as well. The idea is, put it under your tongue and let it dissolve. Keep using it until your cravings subside. Although you can overdose on anything- L-Glut is safe- pretty tough to take too much. If I am really struggling with a craving 3-4 teaspoons will do the trick. It's dry and powdery, so that's about all I can take at one time. Not quite sure why it works, but it does in most cases. Its' been mentioned here for years, almost always with good success.

[paulywogg]

Thanks Byrdie, I must have read it a hundred times in the past but for some reason this time when I read it,I READ it,thanks again

[allswell]

To jkm123 I feel the pain.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Boy has it ever been a damp & windy day here in Lav-land. We needed the rain but now it doesn't want to stop, oh well.

Jkm, planning ahead to you are not stuck empty handed when a craving/hunger hits is the way to go. I carry a small bag of raw almonds with me to munch on after my morning exercise so I don't buy junk food at the supermarket on the way home. Works like a charm.

Allswell, how's it going with you? Having a hard time getting started? Again, it's all about the planning.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Hi to my safe place. The nest. I've been up until 2am working twice this week - and up at 6:30. One more night of it then I should be fairly caught up. We are camping the last time for this season this weekend and BOY I can't wait to get up into the woods, and to SLEEP. Nature is so regenerative for me.

I thought I'd pass along a conversation we had at my house last night. My son tends to side with me with everything, and he said "Dad, beer is bad." My husband said, "science has proven that one drink a day can lower your blood pressure." So I said, so can exercise, but it doesn't kill your brain cells in the process." I really don't want to demonize others when they drink, but it sure helps to be educated about just how bad alcohol is for us. That mumbo jumbo about healthy is such an excuse to drink. It's also an example of how effective marketing is.

Anyhoo, off to complete my bunk room built in drawings so I don't get fired. I hope everyone has a good night.

JKM, if you're reading, don't think for a second that people here will judge you. We've been right where you are and understand.