Newbies Nest

[available]

afternoon nesters

A four day weekend for me. We have a public holiday today for the grand final parade for the football. we have a public holiday for a horse race too. i do think its a tad ridiculous but if it means a day off work i am all for it.

Been a busy week at work and catching up on my course. Just finished OH@S which was about as interesting as watching a fly walk up a wall so next is all about drugs and alcohol. Right up my ally.

I was talking to a friend the other day as he had gone out for a drink. I asked him if he got drunk and he said "no i have not been drunk in over ten years", i replied with "i was drunk for ten years". The concept of his drinking and what mine was blew me away and another reason to be grateful for giving it up. At nearly 3 years sober i cant imagine drinking though lately i have been asked a lot if i think i could drink normally. My answer is maybe but i am not willing to take that chance and i really dont want to even contemplate it.

My daughter turns 25 tomorrow so she is having friends over for a drink. The good thing about when i drank was i would pass out and not worry about the noise, now i will just stick headphones in and yell if necessary.

JKM i didnt care what i ate as long as i did not drink. Not drinking was my highest priority and still is today.

ps: my son is coming back from his nans on tuesday and she is coming too to stay with him. he sounds a lot better within himself which is great.

Take care x

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

Jkm & Allswell - it is very discouraging to make 3 or 4 days sober and then to give in. I experienced it for years. But those were all practice runs to the quit that sticks. Just keep on quitting!

[Eloise]

I got my visa guys, flying on Saturday.
I have to say that I am so pleased to see what is happening here. Everyone offering support to Jkm and not criticism.
Ah, makes me feel happy!
You will make it Jkm as will Fin and everyone else trying to get this addiction under control. Never ever give up.
I remember those rides home from work and how hard it was not to stop and buy wine or have an aperitif.

[tonyniceday]

I f**ked up

[tonyniceday]

Sorry Yes

[NoSugar]

I f**ked up

Hi, Tony. I read your post on the Army thread. You had the idea that after 100+ days AF, you could be a regular guy and enjoy a drink at the end of the day. Most of us have felt that way many times. So, you made a mistake. But that doesn't mean you'll make it again.

Did you feel uneasy when you made the choice or while you were drinking? If you did, remember that as a clue that your thoughts might be taking you to the wrong place. I know the couple times I've taken steps towards having "just one", I felt so guilty and anxious, I just couldn't do it. Those feelings are great warning signs that guide us to making the better choice.

Please don't beat yourself up - it can be so counter-productive and allow an episode to grow out of control. Learn from it and move on, ok?

Take care, NS

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters.

Eloise, it's GREAT NEWS to hear you got your visa! Exciting things ahead for you! We are thinking of you and hope you have an easy transition! Brush up on your chop stix etiquette!

Tony, we ALL feel your pain. Believe me, none of us are going to cast stones. This is a place for support and we are here to give it. Get right back up and onwards we go. We'll be right by your side.

As Ava would say, TFIF....... eheheheh. It's only Friday, not a ticket to Boozeville!! Stay strong, eva'body!!! Byrdie

[okoren1]

Kensho

Shout out to you on achieving 50 days!!

Way to go girl!

[Fin]

Kensho

Shout out to you on achieving 50 days!!

Way to go girl!

Wooooohoooo!

[Fin]

I f**ked up

Oh buddy, been there so many times. The real work starts around 100 days. The novelty has waned and the voice comes back. I'm now putting things into place that will take me though that stage when I get there again. You can do the same. The important thing is to get back to work and not beat yourself up too much. We CAN do this.

[Beth641]

Sun, we can do the robes but only if they are monogrammed - MWO, okay?

yes..

[KENSHO]

Happy Friday! I got so much done this week, and today in particular, that I am at that point of wanting a reward. SO I ate a chocolate candy bar.

The husband came home and told me he got invited to a giant beer festival. I was not excited for him, and that made him mad. He said that it used to be that he pressured me, but that now he feels that I pressure him. I told him that it was more that I don't like when he gets exceedingly drunk, and then is a pissy hungover fool the next day. I don't like it - that is correct. He said, "craft beer is my hobby!". I know that is an excuse to drink. I have told him many times that he can do whatever he wants, and I have absolutely NO problems with his one or two a few times a week. I HATE when he gets sloppy though, because we all pay for it, AND because it's not doing him any favors. So he feels stuck between what I think and what society thinks. Hmm, not sure how to approach that. He wanted me to be excited for him and say, "Why yes, I'd love to drive an hour there and then back to pick you up at 9pm." And I didn't. I don't want to be a stick in the mud - but I DON'T THINK DRINKING IS HEALTHY FOR ANYONE. I have to think that way.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Kensho, you are entitled to feel anyway you feel. If he wants a ride to & from a drinking event there's always Uber, right?

Tony, I am sorry!
You can fix this real fast by not prolonging your fall. Get right back up in the nest & Velcro your butt in place.
We usually have to learn the hard way, at least I did. Your subconscious will get the message eventually, promise. Ignore the monkey mind, it lies.

Eloise, wishing you a happy & safe trip! Please get in touch with us when you figure out how the internet works over there

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe & peaceful night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

JKM - you asked about stopping the back and forth in your mind. This sounds trite and like I'm making it no big deal, but honestly the way I made it stop was deciding once and for all that I couldn't drink any more. I have a good life, a loving and sweet husband, two amazing kids, a job I really like, I'm healthy and active. I got to a point where soon alcohol was going to start taking that away from me. It already had taken more than I even realized. Once I made that realization - I can't drink - I told people here, but even more importantly to me, I told people in person. My therapist and my husband. THEN, my mind chatter was NOT - "am I going to drink or not?" It was - hey, there are some successfully sober people. They have shit happen in their lives. They still drink. What do they do that I need to do? And then I listened. Lav says adopt an attitude of gratitude. Byrdie says post every day. NoSugar says watch what I eat and take care of myself. Ava says she'll find me with a brick if I drink... There are MANY people here who are before and after me in their quits who support me every day, even when I don't post. I just followed them, did what they did, read, listened, and took care of my self. The choice to drink was OFF the table. Whatever happened, if my mind said "I need a drink," my rational mind would say, "no. You don't drink. Go with plan B." I don't mean to say it was easy, but it definitely became easier once I admitted to myself, to my MWO family, and to people I knew would hold me accountable. You can do this.

Tony - for sure what Fin says is true. That 100 is a dastardly time. Very flat, meh. What's next. Hop right back on that horse, see that day 100 in the horizon, and start making plans for that time now. You GOT this, I know you do.

El, I think everyone here knows those Bubble Hours really helped me my first year. It was so great to think, ME TOO as they spoke. Man, you're going through a lot to move. Good luck.

Kensho - way to go on 100. Ava and Kensho, I have little tolerance for drunks any more, also. My husband got drunk last weekend, and I was just angry. He is usually a managed drinker, but once in a while he lets loose. Blech. I just ignore him and go to bed.

I took tonight off. We had plans, but I backed out, remembering the Bubble Hour on boundaries. I know I need some down time after this crazy week. I don't want to miss out on fun with our friends, but I know I need this time alone. Really looking forward to my good book and my warm bed.

Night, nest. Hang in there, everyone. It really does get easier.

Pav

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest!

Eloise - happy, safe trip! Can't wait to hear about your new life!

Kensho - congrats on 50 days! Sound really tough to deal with your husband. This alcohol and society thing... people don't get it. You are right. NOBODY should drink.

Tony - really sorry for your disappointment. Think you received great advice.

Pav - the realization that I cannot drink is the biggest part of my quit working so far. While there is still doubt whether I can or cannot - that was always my stumbling block. Glad, grateful that a co-worker screamed it at me. I have no more doubts!

I am off to the city. To see my kiddies! Will sleep over and return late tomorrow.
Its just the best!

Happy Sober Saturday!