Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, get yourself to a safe spot as soon as you can. That is one big & nasty looking storm heading our way :hug:

Glad to see so many folks checking in today. Reinforcement is what we need the most to stay on track. Daily reminders of just why we chose to kick AL out & live our lives in a better & healthier way

Ava, don't let your Mom get to you - we have your back!!!!

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Eloise]

Made it guys & managed to log in!
All is well though the internet is unreliable, should have things under control next week?
My yoga app isn't working nicely either.

No drinking thoughts or challenges yet.

Kensho I use a meditation app called Insight Timer.
Best to everyone!

[wagmor]

What a day!
I pulled a muscle in my neck and it hurts like a banshee. Its keeping me awke so Im exhausted. This dang storm is making a bee line to us so we started moving some stuff in from the porches. I hit my toe on a nail that was coming up and broke the skin open on my second toe. Took my mind off my neck.
I have a ro-bo call session at work tomorrow, was going to do it on Friday but will be evacuating so moved it up. I dread it. What a week it has been...but at NO time have I considered AL as a solution. What a blessed relief.
Stay strong all! If I can do it, I know you can!! Byrdie

Oh Byrdie, that sounds like a helluva lot for one day - so awesome that AL never crossed your mind through all of that. Hope your evacuation goes smoothly and that your neck and toe both feel better pronto. We'll be thinking of you. :heartbeat:

[KENSHO]

I bought and cooked with wine tonight. My very favorite Spanish beef stew recipe, always look forward to it come fall. I may get scolded, but I was good with it. I actually got home and thought... Hmmmm, I did not even bat an eye in the wine store. I saw it as an ingredient and kind of junk... No craving. It's when I smelled it that my mouth watered. So I actually breathed out of my mouth for awhile. And then I ate something. I didn't crave it thiugh, it was more like a memory of what life used to be like - lots and lots of that smell. It wasn't all that positive of a memory. I been feeling pretty grateful lately about not being a drinker. No nausea, no hiding sips or empties... No more strategic "clank" of the bottles into the recycled bin at calculated times. Oh, and I remembered that I got caught dumping liter wine empties in a dumpster behind a carpet store I visited. I think I had a few paper bags with several bottles to get rid of, and someone turned the corner! I was so embarrassed. It's really good to remember how mortifying and self-degrading that was, and more importantly,, that I don't live like that any more. Ahhh, relief. It would become that again if I had just a little.

I don't advocate for cooking with alcohol in early recovery. All is well here though and I am happy to be a non-drinker. Thanks support nest!

Tomorrow's a new day BL - sorry about your toes and storm and yucky calls! I billed most of today and I HATE doing that. We get through, huh?

Sorry about your internet too Eloise! Frustrating!

Where's Fin?

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

Byrd - that sounds so sore!! Hope it gets better soon.

Kensho - I agree with the ingredient thing. When I choose to sit down with a glass of wine - that would flip the switch in my mind. AL is in so many things. Mouth wash, liquid vitamins... But its a personal thing. It depends on what switches it flips in your mind as far as I see it.

I am enjoying my slow October, but did book a week to work in the city. Still trying to see if I could move there. A lot calmer about it. If it is not good for my sobriety or recovery, I will not do it.
Spent this morning printing out proof of payments. My electric bill is a mess! Will sort it out this afternoon.

Be safe with those storms.

Till later

[Matt M.]

What a day!
I pulled a muscle in my neck and it hurts like a banshee. Its keeping me awke so Im exhausted. This dang storm is making a bee line to us so we started moving some stuff in from the porches. I hit my toe on a nail that was coming up and broke the skin open on my second toe. Took my mind off my neck.
I have a ro-bo call session at work tomorrow, was going to do it on Friday but will be evacuating so moved it up. I dread it. What a week it has been...but at NO time have I considered AL as a solution. What a blessed relief.
Stay strong all! If I can do it, I know you can!! Byrdie

Your story made me laugh, sucks to be a klutz doesn't it?
Batten down the hatches T!

[Byrdlady]

Yes, Matt, it does. However, in my defense, we had a small table on the deck that must have been concealing the exposed nail and when we took it in, there it was for the kicking. I'd give anything not to have done that....it is sore today. My neck still hurts....life sort of sucks at the moment....I know everyone has his/her time and it's just my turn. I got into the tub last night (after the toe incident) and had a good cry. I miss my old life of the familiar job with a good paycheck....I miss knowing what I'm doing. Everything is new here and foreign and I know it will take time to learn how things are done. Then I think of Eloise in a totally new foreign country, new place to live, and a new job! I should shut up and sit down!

Hugs to all today, stay strong!! Byrdie

[Pie]

It is easy after 1 week, 100 days, or 1000 days to think we are different than all the other people here in that we will be able to manage to drink "normally".

I had that thought just this weekend. I was at a wedding in the woods several hours away from home. It was a lovely, festive event and it occurred to me that I could drink as long as I restricted it to far-way weddings in the woods. How often is that going to come up? Add to that, I never over-drank in front of witnesses so what would possibly be the harm in having the glass of champagne that was thrust into my hand or the mixed drink that was the special favorite of the new couple???

There might be no harm. One night of having a drink or 2 might not set off the insatiable daily cravings. Who knows?

But, now that I can make my choices using the rational part of my brain that makes us human, I have no reason to make that choice. It would be stupid and illogical. It would be to take a totally unnecessary risk with one of the most awful risk/benefit ratios imaginable! What would I gain from having a drink or two?

I know I didn't drink addictively to share in a celebratory toast or to get a glimpse of a happy couple's taste in alcoholic beverages. I'm not much of one for rituals, I don't care what other people do or don't like to drink, and I only liked red wine. I didn't even drink to feel high. I drank to check out. If I had done that at the wedding, I would have missed the amazing food and fun dancing. I might not have remembered the evening. I might have tripped over the uneven ground in the darkness or fallen into the lake. As I walked with my husband down to the pier to look at the lake and the stars in the almost totally dark forest, those practical concerns actually occurred to me and I had a moment of gratitude that I don't drink. I was grateful again when I woke up feeling fine and thought about how rough I would have felt, in addition to such regret and disappointment, if I'd acted on that random thought.

We are all different here on MWO in so many ways but in this one respect, I think those of us who remain are essentially the same. The people who find they can have the occasional drink don't tend to stick around (with a couple exceptions) because they don't need the support or need to give it to keep the truth of the matter alive, which is why I stay. I don't want to allow myself to get to the point that the occasional woodland drink seems like a good choice - and I know that would be very easy to do.

We don't need to reinvent the wheel. This is one instance where we truly can learn from the experiences of others. Here's a tread that I've found useful to read when I've had the idea that I'm different, better, stronger, or more controlled and disciplined than the rest of you: https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...etrospect.html.

Thanks for your thoughts here, NS. I've just moved a copy of it over to my personal toolbox. It would be an excellent addition to our MWO Toolbox as well.

[Jkm123]

Hi all. I'm still working on getting home without a drink, when i drink on the way home lately as soon as i get home I'm like why did i do that. I want to stop this and I've been looking for something that will make the wanting it stop but there is nothing, i just have to live with wanting it and not being able to have it. Its like being hungry, you need to eat, but its also not like that in that i don't need to drink to live. I need to stop being a baby and grow up and deal with the want head on. I want a 500,000 house but i can't have that and I'm not worried about it, it does not consum me, neither should this.

All y'all east coasters be safe!

Hi everyone, i hope you are all doing great!

[NoSugar]

How is it that you come to drink on your way home, Jkm? Maybe if you tell us the habit you're in, you'll get some new ideas for breaking it from your nest pals.

[Jkm123]

Well for the last year i filled a half pint bottle with vodka from the bigger bottle and put it in my lunch box and took it to work. Then after work i go to the store, buy a 12 oz redbull drink 1/3 and fill it back up with 2-3 oz of vodka and drink it on the way home (yes om driving i know thats bad). By the time i get home, 45 min or so, im done with the redbull and pretty buzzed so i go in change poor another drink and walk the dogs.

[lifechange]

hi Nesters!

that sounded like a really sucky day, Byrdie. Almost nothing I dislike more than having pulled muscles around my neck. It's debilitating.. I'm surprised you were able to move things around at all.. sure hope you're feeling better.

Ava, you're also dealing with a doozy.. :hug: to you, dear lady!

JKM, for me it helps to break the time down into manageable chunks. To look at just this one day. You don't need to worry about tomorrow, about never being able to drink again. Just this one day, make a beeline home, don't stop for any reason. Pour out what you have at home.. and don't buy any more. You can do that for a day! I think it takes time, in the beginning, to find things you enjoy doing.. you've read through the tool box for ideas? I watched a lot of movies and series, I ate a lot of food.. I adopted an "anything I want as long as it's not alcohol" and that felt like a bit of a freedom. You're doing a great job of coming here to post your struggles..

El, glad you made it safely. What a huge adventure.. Wishing you all the best and hope you get your yoga app up and running soon..very important..

Kensho, you're sounding very well! I'm happy to hear that..

I'm doing alright today.. still not 100%, but definitely better. I've been trying to think about what I can do to "serve" better. Lately I've been wrapped up in my self perceived problems and of course that leads them multiplying.. funny how that works. I find that when I stay in the moment and focus on who I'm with and what I'm doing, I forget my "problems" or they are at least put into perspective. I feel much more open then, lighter..

Big shout out to everyone stopping by today.. let us know how you are! There's definitely strength in numbers. No pressure!:happy2: But it is good to know how everyone is doing.. even if it's not great (maybe someone can help) or if it's just a sentence..
Hugs..

[Jkm123]

You knoe ,LC, that seens so be a common thread in all recovery, you allow yourself anything that is not alcohol. A millon cokes or cookies or cake or anything but al. At one point i would go to nothing bundt cakes and get a small cake and a coke for the way home. It cost about the same.

[lifechange]

JKM, for me that really helped in the beginning.. and still does. Just the very beginning steps of seeing that giving up drinking is more about what we're gaining. At some point, a hot cup of herbal tea (i have an amazing selection) became my substitute "ritual", what calms me (and it actually does unlike alcohol).. Lav (and the all the old timers) talk about finding/adopting gratitude.. Looking for the beauty, the surprises in small things. When we're actively drinking we're unaware/blind to these things.. it really doesn't take so long to begin feeling better. How are you feeling right now? What time do you have?:hug:

[Jkm123]

I'm good now. Its 12:15pm here. It's about 2:30 or 3 when the voices start. My kids think I'm crazy literally when i say the voices but y'all know. The lower brain starts the chatter about all the reasons i should drink today.