Newbies Nest

[Jkm123]

Note to self....you can not mod, so don't read the threads. No offense to any moders.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It's so great to see folks making progress & kicking AL out of their lives. I know it was the best decision I ever made!!!

j-vo, welcome back & please stay put!
No matter how many times we mistakenly think 'this time will be different, I can handle drinking now' the end result is always the same. We crossed that line a long time ago, there's no going back to being a normal drinker for the majority of us. I grateful every single day that I finally accepted that truth, you can be too.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest.
I am going to be tied up for a few days helping my daughter out (she's having surgery Wednesday) so my visits may be hit & miss for a while.
Be well everyone!

Lav

[KENSHO]

JKM you a sound good. Proud of you! Keep here and read/post/read/post....

You too Ms. JVO.

BEAUTIFUL day today. Fall has blazed in with a nice combination of sunshine and crisp air. I roasted a chicken with lemon, garlic and thyme tonight, and served it with a side of homemade butternut squash soup. Autumn smells are still wandering through my house! I have been fighting some bug though and sure hope it takes a hike soon. More sleep seems like a good plan, so it's to bed early tonight. I have cravings at times, but mostly I am so thankful to have my wits about me, and not be numb to the thousand interesting and amazing things that can happen in a day. My dog comes and hugs me on my chair every couple hours while I work. The blackbird migration chirps it's way throughout our neighborhood trees. My son tells me about my art class, with a huge smile on his face. My daughter wants an ace bandage for her skinned knee (like a cast) and limps through the evening. I still have fresh parsley and thyme growing even though there has been a freeze. And the lady in front of me at the health food store ordered an 8 pound organic, non-GMO turkey for Thanksgiving. It's nice to focus on life, instead of being consumed by thoughts about my next drink. I sure lost my peace of mind when I was drinking. SO glad I chose to say goodbye to alcohol.

[wagmor]

JKM - great job planning ahead so you don't have to stop on your way home from work

Kensho - sounds like you're doing well overall, and hope you kick the bug soon. Love that your pup comes and gives you hugs

Lav - hope all goes well with your daughter's surgery, and glad you're able to help her out

Byrdie - your words have always helped me, largely because you don't mince words about how deadly al is for so many people. I count myself in the group who cannot safely drink (and like you, don't want a "safe" amount anyway). Thanks for being a straight shooter.

[wagmor]

Had an interesting experience two different times over the past week or so... I have picked up a few new clients recently, and as a result I'm doing more driving in parts of town I don't normally visit (or at least haven't in several months). Twice in the past week I drove by liquor stores I used to use as part of my "rotation." I live in a state where hard alcohol can only be bought in state run liquor stores - only beer and wine are available in grocery stores or similar. When I was drinking, I knew where almost every liquor store in my city was located, and I would purposely drive to some of the ones rather far from my house (like the ones I passed this week) in an effort to "hide" how much I was buying and how often. Each time I drove by one this last week, I reacted strongly - first feeling the shame I used to feel around trying to hide my buying and drinking habits, then feeling the relief that this is no longer my life. It was a strange sensation both times to swing so quickly between two very different emotions. I laughed out loud and cheered for myself in my car as I drove by without stopping. I never want to set foot in any of those stores again!

[starty]

G-Man,
Over the years, Ive taken some heat on my hard line stance on AL. Ive been called all sorts of names, but I know one thing for sure, AL will kill me if I consume it. I cannot have it in any amount safely, I dont want it in safe amounts, I want it in excessive amounts! I was a very resistant case, I tried all kinds of ways to try and manipulate this disease, but the bottom line is that Im an alcoholic and there is no deal I can make with this disease and win. Playing with this opponent is a sure loss. So I must paint AL in the worst possible light I can. AL is the enemy. I treat it as I would a rattlesnake. So far, it has worked for me. I dont give AL any breaks, I hate it....for what it has done to me as well as my friends here. In this world, its me against AL and as long as I dont drink it, I win.
Thank you for the reminder of one of the little things that work for me. You are da man! Byrdie

Wise words Byrdie and I think that is the same for me. I HAVE to be as hard line as you or it or the pills will kill me. I am excessive in most things I do, but particularly addictive behaviours such as mind altering substances. I am now 53 years old and I cannot risk my life like this any more. Keep being a stalwart as it helps many of us to keep walking this path

[available]

Afternoon nesters.

Welcome back J and i hope you stick around for the long haul. Nothing and no one are worth drinking at. There comes a time where we do realise that al will kill us and yes it will, it killed my brother and a work colleagues ex husband is in hospital still fighting for his life due to al abuse. Al takes no favourites and i know if i had not stopped it would kill me also. Everyone on here takes it one day at a time and reaches out if needed. We are always here.

Taking my son for his ultrasound now, im scared and worried but what will be will be. I do know that drinking wont make the outcome any better.

Attaching a link for a tv show that was aired here last night. This woman said it as it was for us alkies. Tv presenter, reached her bottom and found her way out and after four years is still doing day by day. A very admirable woman who has put her demons to rest and achieved sobriety.

Australian Story

Lav, i hope your daughter is okay, i will be thinking of you.

Byrd, i totally agree with what you say, al is a bastard and i never want that bastard in my life again. I may wish/want a drink sometimes but honestly i am not that stupid to think i can have one and have control when previously i had no control over al or my life.

Take care x

[Darkest Diamonds]

Thank you j-vo you have helped me to come back to this forum, I feel just like you. DD

[Eloise]

Hey guys... wow, busy busy over here. So so many news things, rather mind boggling.
No drinking issues, I have made it clear I don't drink alcohol and guess what?! It is a non issue.
No questions asked, which I find really cool.
Now, internet access... well that is an entirely different story. If you are an internet addict, don't move to China.
Hope all is well and I am here in spirit just continue to have access troubles.
Love to all!

[j-vo]

Great post Byrdie. I could have written that. I never wanted nor could drink safely. I always wanted more, and if it didn't happen, I was not happy. If I had a bottle of wine and hubby wanted a glass, I'd be enraged. He knows it would piss me off. If he wanted it, he should have said something earlier and I'd have bought a big bottle! The nerve! Yes, that's me and my denial has kept me from getting better. I have all the symptoms of an alcoholic, therefore I am an alcoholic. The constant obsessive thoughts, the sloppy drinking, embarrassing things I said or did. Using difficult situations in my life as an excuse to drink. It's time to change.

[j-vo]

Ava, yes, I believe I would have ended up in the hospital had I not stopped. Physical symptoms, and of course, all of the obvious alcoholic things I do, feel, say. There's no way out except not to ever take that first drink.

Hope your son is ok. And Lav, your daughter. Dad is having a procedure today also. He has cancerous cells on his forehead and head. From the sun, I don't know.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Thank you for the support on my stubborn stance. I am a stubborn old coot and seeing is believing. If I hadn't seen it for myself 1000's of times on here, and experienced it, I'd still be fighting to moderate. I tell you, I don't even WANT to drink now and there is no deprivation involved! I see the folks on the mods boards fighting SO HARD JUST TO HAVE THAT DRINK and I can tell you, it's just considerably easier to be AF. CONSIDERABLY! I see people fighting tooth and nail to be able to control this and it's a shame. All that effort! I did it, too! To me, they are not 'GETTING' to drink...they are drinking because they cannot completely stop. Yes, I was one of them who held my head up that moderation was possible for anyone who REALLY WANTED it, but I can tell you, there is a BIG difference between addition and a bad habit. I see folks over there who have been trying to control it for YEARS and where are they today? Well, it's safe to say they are probably drinking MORE than they were 5 years ago. Once I stopped bullshitting myself I was able to make progress. If you're just gonna have one, then why not just have none? It takes TIME to grow into an AF way of life, but I have NO regrets about mine, I LOVE it. I love the simplicity, and like Kensho was saying, appreciating the little things I glossed over before. I cherish life, I don't just endure it, waiting for my first drink of the day. Maybe most of you weren't as bad as I was, but we are all on the spectrum, if you aren't there now, it will progress. Stopping while you are a Stage 1 alkie is a much better way than to wait til you are nearly Stage 3 (and beginning to suffer health implications). I know it's hard, it took me many starts and stops, but you can do it if you want it! AF time will be your best friend!
Wagmore, I know that feeling of which you speak when passing liquor stores. My hackles go up....like on 'Lost in Space'....DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Same in the grocery store, I don't go down the wine aisle if I can help it. I don't want the reminder. I keep myself out of temptation where possible. I can appreciate the feeling you describe, and I still have it myself!
Eloise, it's great to see you online! Good luck in your new country!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Toozday! Byrdie

[Jkm123]

Hi all! Goid stuff here lately, i think alot of people are joining or coming back due to the looming holidays maybe...anyway glad there are alot of people here.
I need to be busy at night but at home, any ideas for hobbies? I love to cook but i drank when i cook so i try to stay out of the kitchen as much as possible right now. I need a fun book or maybe some type of sewing?
Anyway have a good day.

[KENSHO]

Hi DD! Stick your feathery butt here and don't wander! You deserve a sober life!

Jkm, my hobbies have developed into so much fun the longer I don't drink. I have just picked up crocheting hats again, since the weather changed - my daughter has put in the first order. I also love getting in to books that are fun and adventurous - the really entertaining kind, not the self-help kind. I also cook, enjoy exercising and read a lot about health and well being. For me, any kind of art hits the spot, but since I use a lot of creative energy for my job, I focus on things that "take me away", keep me healthy and keep me busy. Hope that helps.

I'm off to the races, have a conference call shortly with a metal smith who will make all kinds of custom straps, rails, etc. for my current project. I'd better get my stuff in order. Thanks for the great words Byrdie. I know you have been around the block a few times and have taken the time to observe and understand where people are - I think you really "get it". We should all listen to you.

That's all. Have a great day everyone!

[abcowboy]

I was going to post this on my thread, but decided I would post it here instead. It’s about hitting “rock bottom”. It’s often said that we have to hit rock bottom before we’ll finally have the courage to quit for good. And I’ve often talked about what rock bottom means to us as individuals. When do we know when we’ve hit rock bottom? My answer, when you accepted that you had a problem, that’s the only rock bottom you need.

Most of you know how I alienated my youngest daughter because of the things I said to her while I was drunk 2 years ago, things no parent should ever say to any of their children. But that didn’t stop me from drinking, I continued for a few months after that till I ended up in hospital overnight in the suicide watch room because of trying to drink myself to death, literally! You think that would be about as rock bottom as you can get! It isn’t, I experienced a new “rock bottom” this weekend, almost 2 years after I quit drinking.

My daughter and I have had a very strained relationship for the past 2 years, not a lot of communication between us, but I keep trying. One can only say I’m sorry so many times. This past Friday she came home for Thanksgiving weekend, she stayed at her brother and sister-in-law’s. I texted her about coming over to our place and the reply was “I don’t think so, I’m rockin’ the relaxation over here, but thanks for the invite.” I called her the next day and it went to voicemail, I left a message and never got a reply. She’s going back to Calgary this morning, so I won’t get to see her.

It was a sad and painful weekend for me, a new rock bottom without even drinking. The point of my rambling is not to get pity, it’s to tell you that I did it to myself. I said those words to her while drinking, thinking that an “I’m sorry, I was drunk” apology would get me through like it did all those other times, it didn’t, not this time, they’d heard those words too many times.

Maybe you haven’t had a DUI, got in trouble with the law, jeopardized your job, ruined your health, or lost the love and respect of your loved ones, but if you continue drinking, you will. One day you’ll say or do something that you can’t take back, and you’ll reach a new rock bottom. Why wait for that to happen, quit now before you spend a weekend like I just did….