Newbies Nest

[ThirdTimesACharm]

...Even if I were slightly tempted, by going on the record as a non-drinker, it would be weird for me to later on, actually have a drink.

That's absolutely genius!

[j-vo]

I thought about drink periodically today. I also thought about cholocate milk which I haven't had since I was 10, but that's a different story. The thought, "I wish I could drink" came to mind. But for me, it would go something like this...

I wish I could drink so I can feel anxious.
I wish I could drink so I can feel bloated.
I wish I could drink so I could continue to hurt my liver, the liver that I feel an ache in.
I wish I could drink so I could say stupid stuff.
I wish I could drink so I could embarrass myself.
I wish I could drink so I would be vulnerable.
I wish I could drink so I can feel like crap day in and day out.
I wish I could drink so I can look in the mirror at my puffy face.
I wish I could drink so I miss out on everyday life.
I wish I could drink so I take more sick days than I have and lose money.
I wish I could drink so I can feel numb.
I wish I could drink so I can make my family worry.
I wish I could drink because I like to be overweight.
I wish I could drink because more people will talk behind my back.
I wish I could drink because I hate a great relationship with my husband.
I wish I could drink so I can miss out on just about everything life has to offer.
I wish I could drink so I end up in the hospital with liver failure just as three people I know did.
I wish I could drink so I can die.
I wish I could drink so I miss out on my son's life.

Sounds fucking ridiculous but so true if I say I wish I could drink. All of these things will continue, and I know there's more. There would be more, because it'll only get worse.

I pray I get through this one day at a time. I pray I get better.

[Byrdlady]

Welcome, ThirdTime! We are so glad you're here! If there is one thing Ive learned here in the nest its to take thongs in small chunks. Why worry aboutvthe holidays right now and add all that to the mix. I believe something so strngly I put it in my signature line All you gotta do is get thru THIS day! Stick close, you cant lose if you stick with your support!

Jvo, no truer words than the ones you just wrote. AL was killing us and will kill all we cherish. There is no safe amount for us. If you set your mind to this, you will do it. We believe in you. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

You are racking up those days Jvo. Congrat's on 3 days. Keep it going no matter who, no matter what, no matter where!

Gr8 job on 5 days 3T. Huge!

LC, i think you are a big star on your decision to opt out of meeting with your girlfriends at this point. That's commitment.

Kensho! I missed your 60 day celebrations! Why? Because i think it's all about me! Great job buddy. :thumbsup:

Thanks for heading off a potential tantrum with me 60 day trophy Byrdy! :congratulatory:


Hope today goes as well as possible Ava.

L8tr g8trs.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

LC! I loved The Barclay Marathon. Everyone - watch it on Netflix - a fun and interesting doco. I can't even describe it, but it is highly entertaining. I'm glad you had a day off. I've learned to set boundaries and I try not to feel guilty about it. I don't feel like going out as much as I used to, and I've just had to accept the fact that that's ok. I used to worry that everyone would talk behind my back, "I miss the fun, drinking, Pav. Too bad she quit!" But pshaw. I am still a lot of fun when I hang out and go to parties, I just appreciate staying home with a good book also.

I was one day after Ava, and stayed sober through the holidays with telling people that the holidays sort of made me feel depressed so I was trying to get through without alcohol which I know can be a depressant. After the holidays I told people I was feeling so great I may as well keep it up. Only MUCH later did I fully disclose what actually went down with my good friends, and even now some people just think I "just quit." But the beauty of it all, is that I don't give a (bleep) about what other people think about my not drinking any more. Some people are still so weirded out by it that they bring it up in crowds whenever I'm around. I just don't care (thanks, Lav and Byrdie!)

J-Vo So sorry about your mom. I was going to ask.

Off to help son with homework. Now THAT is a no fun evening.

Night,
Pav

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, so many posts in the last 24 hours - great! I love to see the nest buzzing with activity

G, CONGRATS on your 60 AF days, glad you got your trophy!!!

Hello & welcome ThirdTime, glad you found us! Great work or your 4 AF days, going for 5!!!
Stay close to the nest, post often. Things will make sense soon enough, promise.

J-vo, I am very sorry about your Mom.
We love them & miss them terribly, I understand :hug:
Grieving is important so we can move on to remembering the good times.

Hello to everyone & wishing safe night in the nest for all!
My daughter did well with her surgery today & is resting at home, thank goodness. Thanks for all the positive thoughts

Lav

[ThirdTimesACharm]

Just a quick post to my Newbie Nest friends before I hit the hay.

5 full days sober now! No cravings whatsoever today, and I only even thought about alcohol maybe 3 or 4 times - and each time it was "I am never putting that crap in my body again". If I had a bottle of wine or vodka in the house right now, it would be going straight down the drain.

I kept busy - did a bunch of yard work (fall cleanup), housework, went on a long walk, read a ton of stuff in these forums.

Byrdlady - I know it is early days to be thinking about "what am I going to do at parties" etc. But my wife and I just literally got 2 invitations on the weekend - one for a friend's annual Halloween party that always goes on all night and is very heavily based around drinking. And a company Christmas party with an unlimited open bar that always ends up with people throwing up and making a fool out of themselves. I think we'll skip the Halloween party and go to the company party but I'll just say I'm the DD. Sorry, I'm a planner! :-)

Sweet dreams everyone. Speaking of which... I have had more dreams in the past 4 nights than I have in decades. Pretty cool stuff too!

[j-vo]

Good morning,
Third time, you have a great attitude. That's inspiring. And planning is definitely necessary for early days, months, and years.

Lav, glad your daughters surgery went well.

My cousin's wedding is this saturday. My dad, sister, BIL, and husband will be attending together, and I told them all that I would drive home. I told them why also. They know me and alcohol don't mix, so it wasn't a surprise to them.

Have a good day.

[ThirdTimesACharm]

GOOD MORNING NESTERS!

6 hours of sound sleep (I feel like I've had 10 hours), breakfast made for the family and I'm ready to go.

Best part? No hangover, no guilt and I feel like I'm getting my brain back!

Have a GREAT day everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Well with what I'm going to say, I will surely sound like a politician! TTaC you are absolutely right, having a PLAN is a big part of all this! I am totally flip-flopping on what I said earlier, UGG. There is a difference in worrying about all the WHAT-IF's and planning ahead, you are absolutely right! Did you see my 'I have a Plan' Speech several pages back? I'll got grab it.
Whatis a Plan?
I heard about this thing called a Plan, and I HAD plans, but I wouldn'tcall it a PLAN, as such....it was more of a HOPE. A GOAL, even. A PLAN soundedway too formal for this thing I was embarking on...after all, what if I failed?Hope is NOT a strategy. Get yourself a PLAN.

#1 Failure is not an option. When you think you are going to fail, guess what?You FAIL! Wrote this book on this one. Get your mind into a mode of THIS WILLBE DONE. Don't be willy-nilly, or your willy will get nillied. Your mind isyour best friend and your biggest enemy. Control IT and you will win. Controlyour thoughts and you will win.

Get all of the AL out of your house/space. Yes...ALL of it. You don't need asafety net because you are not going to fail. I fought this one hard, but Iwasn't able to succeed until I did it. No, I was NOT different than everybodyelse, I could not resist it if it was in the house. GET IT OUT.

Get your story down as to why you're not drinking. This is important. Get astory together you can live with. I actually have ulcerative colitis, so I saythat my UC is 1000 times better if I don't drink. If you are a Type Apersonality, you might enjoy using 'AL kills my ulcers'. If you are a healthnuts, "I'm detoxing"....religious nut? "I gave it up for Lentand felt so good I kept going".....you get the idea. Get your story andstick to it.

As Alkies, we aren't used to eating. This is the SILVER BULLET to succeeding.If you have a bad craving and The Voices are knocking, EAT! Eat until you areFULL! Remember those times when you've said, "I can't eat another bite ofanything!" That's the full we're talking about. You will not want anythingif you EAT!

You are gonna feel like dookey for a few days. I felt flu-like for the firstcouple weeks, so treat yourself well. Drink plenty of fluids and rest! Yourbody is changing over from an ethanol burning engine to a food/nutrient burningmachine. Have patience as your body makes this transition.

Keep yourself out of temptation. STAY out of the wine aisle at the grocerystore. NO, you are not stronger than this thing, protect your young quit witheverything you've got. Stay out of bars and avoid booze parties, especially thefirst 3 or 4 weeks. I don't care how strong you feel, this is a new thing forus and temptation is everywhere. Avoid it at all costs.

Change your mindset from one of deprivation to one of gratitude. Just look atthe folks on here who have made C-changes in their lives!!! They are HAPPY andoptimistic! Does this sound like someone who considers themselves deprived?It's all a matter of perspective. Thank God, you don't HAVE to drink today!!!Remember, to a worm, digging around in the hard old ground is a lot morerelaxing than going fishing! Try not to throw, attend and participate in PityParties, they serve no good purpose.

Glue yourself to this site and learn everything you can about this condition wehave. Knowledge is power. Nothing we do or think hasn't been done or thoughtbefore, so look back on the 7 years of experience here and you will find out whathappens if you do such and such.

Let go of the past... don't look back. Let it go. ALL of it. Forgive yourselfand move on....nothing to see here. There is NOTHING we can do to change whatwe've done, but we can start today and make things better for our future.

Did I mention gluing yourself here? Read and Post!!! This is key! Being part ofa group is important. Like so many have said recently, we find that we actuallydon't have a much of a life outside the bottle! So learning to trust othersagain is part of our emotional growth and healing. Yes, the Nest does movefast, but we are always on point. You just regained about 4-6 hours a day back,so spending 30 minutes catching up here should be no problem. Staying connectedhere is a real key to STAYING sober. The world out there is telling us to dosomething totally counter to what we know we must do. Staying connected withlike-minded people is vital. We are swimming upstream on this one...it's niceto have fellow fish to make the journey with us.

I feared someone giving me a drink by mistake....if they ever do, I'm spittingit back in the glass. My quit is my foundation. No one can take it from me.

That's my take on The Plan. Byrdie
__________________

[Byrdlady]

I don't know why when I copy and paste it leaves out all those spaces between words. I tried to fix it but it won't save. Oy. B

[Mr Vervill]

I wish I could drink so I can feel anxious.
I wish I could drink so I can feel bloated.
I wish I could drink so I could continue to hurt my liver, the liver that I feel an ache in.
I wish I could drink so I could say stupid stuff.
I wish I could drink so I could embarrass myself.
I wish I could drink so I would be vulnerable.
I wish I could drink so I can feel like crap day in and day out.
I wish I could drink so I can look in the mirror at my puffy face.
I wish I could drink so I miss out on everyday life.
I wish I could drink so I take more sick days than I have and lose money.
I wish I could drink so I can feel numb.
I wish I could drink so I can make my family worry.
I wish I could drink because I like to be overweight.
I wish I could drink because more people will talk behind my back.
I wish I could drink because I hate a great relationship with my husband.
I wish I could drink so I can miss out on just about everything life has to offer.
I wish I could drink so I end up in the hospital with liver failure just as three people I know did.
I wish I could drink so I can die.
I wish I could drink so I miss out on my son's life.

Sounds fucking ridiculous but so true if I say I wish I could drink.

Brilliant list, I'm stealing this to tuck into my own toolbox.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Was reading through Hip Sobriety this morning and found this post from last year about getting through the holidays (specifically US Thanksgiving) without booze. (My big takeaway: PRACTICE RADICAL SELF CARE!)

7 TIPS TO SURVIVE THANKSGIVING*. (*SOBER). — HIP SOBRIETY

Happy Reading.

Pav

[Pavati]

Ok, one more. This one made me practically cry. Not being a drinker is such a relief. I don't ever have to drink again!

12 Fabulous Things About Sobriety. — HIP SOBRIETY

[paulywogg]

Thanks for the links Pav