Newbies Nest

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evening nesters

Well i very anxious and stressful time with my girl Mads. They thought it was her heart but now looks like she has Cushings Disease which affects elderly dogs and are tumours. I am probably as confused as the vets at this stage but for now i will take her home tomorrow and love her like it is her last day. Im upset but i know that her quality of life is much more important than the quantity. Thanks to you for all of your support.

Not much else to add at this stage other than i am here and i am doing okay.

J great work on not giving in to the feck its. Each time not drinking makes us stronger, it hurts, it is hard but if you can get through each difficult time without al then each and every time gets easier. I remember walking in circles once as i wanted to give up, i wanted to drink and the only thing that helped was walking in circles so i did. My kids already think i am nuts so it wasnt so bad. Sending you hugs.

Tommorrow will be a good day for me. Take care x

[j-vo]

Thank you all for your support. My Dad is in the stroke/cardiac unit of the hospital. Hopefully we will get all test results back today and they have a solution to the issues they've found. I've been praying lots, as I love Dad and I couldn't bear losing him. I know it's a fact of life. Our parents age and we need to be there for them. They need us to be sober.

As for last night, I went to bed with a foggy head, not from booze, but from crying. I know it's ok that I cry, and probably a good thing. I'm grateful I didn't go out and buy booze, as like you all said, it wouldn't have solved anything. It would have created a big, fat mess. Grateful for an unhung friday.

[j-vo]

Ava, give Mads some hugs for me. That's another rough one. :hug:

[Eloise]

Hey guys!
Well it is about time I got back on here. This new job is just incredibly busy and I am doing my best to not let it take over my life. Not sure how that is going so far though?
I have a little something to share.
I am a non-drinker now, like for real. Everyone knows 'don't bother offering her drink, she doesn't drink after all."
It's just accepted and no one asks why? I love it!
One of the gym teachers doesn't drink either and he makes a comedy of himself about it. He comes right out and says "Hi, my name is John and I'm an alcoholic so don't offer me no drinks ya hear!' It is so funny because he makes this statement at random times ... like during staff meetings. He is funny.
He is like 25 and figured out really early he makes an ass of himself if he drinks.

Anyhow I thought maybe those starting out might like to hear it is possible to become a non-drinker inspire of your past.

So, on that front all is well. Staying calm well that is requiring a lot of effort. Schools are hectic. I plan to have a quiet week-end and some much needed catching up around here so looking forward to reconnecting.

[Byrdlady]

Eloise, I am thrilled to see you!! So glad you are making connections, in every way! There really ARE people out there in life that don't drink, either! I know you will settle in to your new surroundings soon!

J-Vo, continued prayers for your dad. Looking back I am so happy that my last several visits with mine were while I was sober. There were a lot of decisions to make and people to get here and there and instead of being part of the problem I was part of the solution, which is everything in times of crisis. We are all sending you strength.

Ava, same to you with Mads. I didn't know dogs could get Cushings? Please give her an extra squeeze from the nest.

Tony, your words rang so true, I found the same thing....that disappointed/disgusted/scared look on my husband's face is something I never want to see again. Trust will build as your sober days grow. I'm so glad you are back on track and always look forward to your posts.

Another ro-bo call today. Lord help me. This 'Team' of 6 or 7 starts dialing my list of prospects and when one answers I have to go into my pitch. I hate it. This one is only 30 minutes, the last one was an hour and it was the longest week of my life. UGG>

It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! What you deserve is a life free of chains! Enjoy your sobriety! Byrdie

[Eloise]

Gosh the internet is so slow here.
Very sorry to hear about your dad Kensho.
I have to move again Brydie. Mid November I go somewhere with a year lease. I have no idea where.
Navigating China is NOT easy guys. It is good I have lived abroad for so many years already, this would be rough for a first time experience.
EVERYTHING is different. For example I had vanilla flavoured roasted peanuts tonight for a snack. Strange, a little disgusting, but nothing compared to seaweed favoured chips. Truly sickening.
The fruit is pretty good though! Bananas, kiwis and apples all yummy.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

J-vo - good to hear you see the value of you being sober during this time your dad needs you. Wish you strength and good news from the doctors.

Eloise! - you sound wonderful! It must be the bomb to just be a non-drinker. Stick to the fruit - at least you know how it will taste

Byrdie - when are you going home?? You need a break!

Looking forward to this evening. Kids and ex will join me for a bbq at the guest house. This week was very tiring. Some tonic water next to a fire and time with my kids is all I need.

Have a good Friday night.

[Overit-still]

Good morning. I'm planning on staying under covers all weekend. What are my go to snacks and books to enjoy?

I have a predicament. I am just losing all respect for my husband. I know, I go through times like this and then others that say I'm going to fight no matter what. The main thing that attracted him to me (and why I had an affair on my stable, working , family man was that he was a rebel. He was so carefree and I was the planner. Anyway, I can't get him to work. He is the laziest person ever. He wanted to live in this town, but he doesn't hold a job. We have no fire wood heading into this winter. I have to work my butt off and steal from Peter to pay Paul just to keep a roof over our heads. He is a functioning alcoholic. he says I've changed since we met (someone has to) and my drinking has made him fall out of love for me. We are just two roommates sharing the same bed for the last 4 years. Yes, 4 YEARS!!!! Anyway, if I try and talk to him about money he says I'm just jabbing him about not earning as much as me. No, try getting out of bed to go to work, that's a first step. Anyway, I don't know how much more I can do this. I try the build him up, compliment his masculinity and caring for our family, but even I know it's a fraud now. I've always lived in a man's house. I don't even know how I would do it.

[wagmor]

Looks like it might be a good time for a full-nest group hug - didn't we used to have an emoticon for that? :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

J-vo - So sorry to hear about your dad. Good job letting yourself cry and cry and cry, and not giving in to the temptation to drink. Since you're already worrying that you might not be able to get through one more hard thing without drinking, maybe now is the time to set up a basic plan. Not like now is easy, but just that at this moment you can still head yourself off at the pass. Big big hugs to you

Ava - Sorry to hear about Mads as well. It's hard to think about losing a furry family member, and to know when is the time to let them go. It sounds like you are focusing on the right thing, which is ultimately her quality of life. Enjoy every moment you have with her.

Overit - That sounds like a very difficult situation. Maybe a weekend under the covers with snacks and books will give you some time to think and evaluate what you want (or need) to do moving forward.

[j-vo]

Dad is home at sister's house! Yes, the problem he had was related to cappilaries swelling in the back of his brain due to long-term high blood pressure. Sooooo glad sis took him to the ER. They put him on a new medication in addition to his blood pressure meds. He'll continue to monitor this and rest. I'm relieved, yet still concerned. My sisters and I will watch him like a hawk. Thanks for all of your thoughts. I appreciate it.

Wags, my plan right now is to stay close to MWO, read the toolbox, post, read, and stay productive. Oh, and pray. Yes, it was a close call yesterday, and I'm glad I cried it out and didn't go get a bottle. Maybe crying is what I need to do for now. It happens a lot. I already have plans for this weekend, which is to get my house in order, grocery shop, correct papers, and relax. That's it and I'm satisfied with that.

Over it, I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. Relationships are not easy. Have you considered couples counseling? We never did it, but I'm sure anyone can benefit from it. Hope you enjoy your quiet time this weekend.

Getting ready to watch some Netflix. I just finished Madmen, and onto Drop Dead Diva, which is perfect for me right now as it's light, uplifting, and not too serious.

Have a great TGIF evening or Saturday. Thanks Nestees.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Eloise, great to see you checking in & I hope all this moving is not too rough for you.

Ava, I hope Mads is comfy at home with you :hug:
Sometimes comfort measures are all we can offer. My older dog will be turning 14 in December & that's what we're doing with her, keeping her comfy with love.

J-vo, glad your dad is out of the hospital. I know the Philly hospitals, they give good care. I hope he stabilizes quickly.

Overit, I am sorry you are having such troubles in your relationship. I guess at some point we all are forced to decide what we really, really want & make plans to move forward. Think about how you want your future to look - the same or different & possibly improved.

Hi there wags, Justme, Byrdie, G, Tony & everyone!
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[tonyniceday]

Morning Nest

Just a quick Hello as I'm just setting off on a trip back down to England for a few days - I don't know what internet access I'm going to get as it's always quite patchy where I'm going...

Have a great AF weekend everyone!

Tony

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

I am about to pack up and head home after a week in the city. Looking forward to wake up in my small, comfy little place again.
It was exhausting and emotional to figure everything out to see when and how I can move to the city. I have thoroughly investigated ALL options and have peace now. As a mother and a professional.
It is not possible YET. And it is OK.

My kids were fighting and crying a lot last night. Not the peaceful image I had in my mind. And for a split second, when I was alone in the bathroom, I wanted my wine to numb out.
Saw some of those alcohol memes on facebook too. "Strange" that only certain people would post it... I remember I used to post stuff like that, because it was a way of justifying my drinking.
I've decided that it is NORMAL. Alcoholics will have drinking thoughts and problematic drinkers will find a way to justify it for themselves. And I want that to be OK.

I am in a strange mood. I didn't get what I want and have to toughen up and rationalize the OK -ness of it.

I can do it. We can do it!!

J-vo - glad dad is home!

Overit - enjoy your weekend under the covers. Good luck with hubby. I have a deep sympathy and empathy for your feelings. That is one reason I am not moving now. My ex needs to get his arse in order. I can't help and catch everything he drops out of laziness!! (Financial or emotional laziness.) Sad thing is, I don't think he sees things that way...

Anyhow, lets get on with this Sober Saturday!

[Guitarista]

Safe travels Tony!

You sure can do it Just me, and you are doing it. I have been in preparation or in training for knockbacks, setbacks, disappointments, rejections that will come my way tonight, tomorrow or sometime soon. Thought management. This is my focus at the moment, through daily meditation and a daily headcheck. Haven't been tested properly yet, so am looking forward to the next challenge. With a recent radically increased workload and study load, i bet some sort of frustration is just around the corner, likely to be created by myself! lol. Enjoy your weekend my friend.

Wishing all a safe sober and magical weekend. the weekend ain't no ticket to no boozeville see.

[j-vo]

Good unhung Saturday morning,
I like that, G, you're in training for these things. That's actually what it is. We have to train our brains for these inevitable situations, thoughts, and circumstances. We always have to be on guard and have our tools readily available.

I'm grateful for this unhung day. Going with hubby to shop at Sam's Club, the grocery store, and few other stops. He usually does this on his own. I have to say, on the weekends, I'm the lazy one. He just can't stop, ever. He's already out doing some errands. That's the way he is. Everyone is different.

I had strange dreams last night. One being we were at mom's viewing, I was crying, then I said I have to go and correct papers...yes at the funeral home. In addition to that, I was sneaking drinks. What a dream

I'll check in later. Hope everyone has a great day.