Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Ava - So glad to hear that Maddie is responding well to the meds and seems to be happy and comfortable. That must bring you a huge sigh of relief, at least for now. Time to enjoy every day/week/month etc that you have left together! And enjoy that sleep as well

Overit - Your decision to take care of yourself sounds like a great place to start. Your comments about being very co-dependent, not knowing who you are, etc - feeling that way must make this all more worrisome, frightening, and/or confusing. This might evolve into an amazing opportunity for you to learn more about yourself and to develop some new strengths. That is often not an easy process, but oh-so-worth-it! Just remember, you don't have to figure everything out all at once. Maintaining your quit is probably one of the very best gifts you can give yourself right now. Hang in there, and keep us posted as you see fit. There are lots of us folks on here willing to listen, offer suggestions, sympathize/empathize, and cheer you on. Keep going back to what you said and take care of YOU.

Pav - things must be rough when Kanye is a source of strength! Glad you were able to tap into the beat and ignore the words. It sounds like things have been skewed unfairly at work for awhile. Sorry to hear that you're dealing with that, but glad you found some inspiration for not taking sh@*! from anyone

LC - glad your downer of a day turned a brighter corner when you got home!

Byrdie - great point about how giving up Al is like losing a relationship. I never thought of it that way, but you're right! Yes, it does take time to adjust to life without our "friend" but with friends like that, who needs enemies

[j-vo]

Evening,
Another busy and crazy day. Having some issues with difficult students but I'm trying not to react and think of their personal situations. Their behaviors are almost always the result of home issues. That and the fact that they're 14 years old.:egad:

Pav, you made me giggle with your Kanye story. Strength to ya as you deal with this situation!

Ok...off to do more correcting and prep work.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wonderful to see everyone checking in & kicking AL out of their lives

Overit, as long as you feel safe take your time. You can begin to think & imagine your new future self. You can be anything you want to be, always remember that!

j-vo, 14 year olds are just @#$%^&&, ha ha!
I actually dealt with my teens during those years without drinking. I started afterwards, weird.

Pav, I am absolutely sure I could NOT deal with Kanye in my car, LOL

Wishing everyone a very safe & cozy night in the nest. It was only 28 degrees here this morning, frosty. My young chickens didn't seem to notice & one of them produced their first tiny egg today, yay!

Lav

[Wilson1]

[QUOTE=j-vo;1690695]Evening,
Another busy and crazy day. Having some issues with difficult students but I'm trying not to react and think of their personal situations. Their behaviors are almost always the result of home issues. That and the fact that they're 14 years old.:egad:

Pav, you made me giggle with your Kanye story. Strength to ya as you deal with this situation!

Hi J- My wife is a second grade teacher and occasionally has to make home visits to be able to meet with the parent(s). She has been teaching 2-5 for 26 years. Last week, she came home in tears after making a home visit. She said that the child lives in a home with no running water. I asked her why DFACS did remove the child and she told me as long as the child is cared for and provided clean water, there was nothing that could be done. The child is not mistreated by the single parent but he sure is made fun of in class sometimes.

I am thankful for all you teachers. My wife told me that if she ever had to teach 12 to 15 year olds, she would just not be capable of doing so -those are tough years. So, thank you for being one that does.

[Guitarista]

Keep kicking arse Pavi!

YouTube

Glad Mads sounds better Ava. So do you! :happy2:

All good here. Take it easy out there. So many heroes round this joint. Yo!

[j-vo]

Good morning,
Here we go! I slept all the way until the alarm!! Recharged and ready.

Wilson, thank you for the kind words. I feel your wife's pain. I used to do home visits when I was a special education teacher and it's not easy. So sad. I work in a low income school district and we have so many kids like the one you described. Actually, just yesterday, we had to report a child because he claims that he lives with mom, and mom doesn't buy any food, the refrigerator is empty and he can't wait until weekends because he stays with dad and he can eat. It's likely this is true and it's so sad. I'ved worked with this age for so long, and it takes a great deal of energy, but I do like my job. It's rewarding as I'm sure your wife feels the same about her job.

Tonight, I'm meeting a woman I graduated from high school. Her daughter is a senior and a big basketball player like my son was, so we talked a lot about mom when we were working in the concession stand. Her mom died of ALS also. So we're gong to have dinner and chat, and I'm sure tears will be a part of this.

Have a great day.

[Guitarista]

You do such important work Jvo. It would be no exaggeration to say you are an amazing and much needed soul in your community. Living sober is allowing your personal mission statement and value to absolutely SHINE.

[andrealeigh]

The stories here really touch me and make me feel so not all alone. I have a 16 year old son that tells me all the time he wants his real mom back and I need to leave. However, I can't and i won't. I love him and my six year old too much to do that. I have to make it stop and I have been reading on this forum since 4 a.m. I am so glad I found it. I have five children and six grandchildren, I need to stop hurting them and being afraid of how my life will be without wine. isn't that crazy? I KNOW how it will be...better. Much better. I am so scared of life without wine to cope but I am also scared of losing my family entirely. My husband tries to understand but he can't. He doesn't have the ability. I wish I were like him but I am not, we are polar opposites. The Marine and the tree hugging hippie...LOL. Thats what our friends call us. He is an extrovert and I am very shy, I think thats where it started. I realized alcohol made me feel less keyed up, stressed...nervous. My best friend.

[Justme Again]

Hi Andrea.

Welcome to the Nest!

You will be amazed how much less stressed and nervous you will feel without AL.
Give it a try. We will be here.

[Justme Again]

Nesties!

My tablet is not behaving!! Keep losing long posts

I've been quiet. My head was a mess, but read everyday.
SL, Overit, Ava... your stories helped me a lot.
And Byrd - thanks for posting again that we should not make drastic decisions in the first year of sobriety.

After letting two places in the city know that I would not be accepting the posts, BOTH came back and asked me to reconsider.
F@#$&**%!!!!

It set the whole roller coaster off again. Maybe a good thing. Looked at my situation AGAIN. Very, very critically.

Moving now can potentially cause me drinking again.
Moving in with my ex can put me right back in the situation where I want to numb out daily. Despite our best intentions to raise our kids together, the original problems still remain. He is a heavy drinker and likes it. It makes him miss many opportunities in life and it should not be my problem.

What was I thinking???
I was thinking about my children.
And now that I finally stopped the roller coaster, I found the box for misplaced guilt.

I am not the only one responsible for our children, but the only one responsible for my sobriety is ME!

So thankful for this Nest!

[ThirdTimesACharm]

Morning Nesters!

Just wanted to share some good health news!

I've been taking my blood pressure daily since I quit, and it has fallen from 155/110 on 10/7 (which I just read online is considered an "emergency hypertensive crisis" - oh god!) to today at 108/64.

Not a bad trend for 20 days, and a stark reminder exactly what AL does to your body.

Have a great day everyone. It's almost the weekend.

ThirdTimesACharm

BP.JPG

[wagmor]

Andrealeigh - Welcome to the nest. Glad you found us and that you've been reading. This is a great place to receive and give support, to gain strength from the group, to tuck in and feel safe.

TTC - Awesome news about your BP!!!

Justme - It sure can be hard to make what we think are final decisions, only to have them re-presented to us for more consideration. The thing that stood out to me the most in your post is this: "Moving now can potentially cause me drinking again. Moving in with my ex can put me right back in the situation where I want to numb out daily." This speaks volumes. Pay attention to your gut, take care of yourself.

J-vo - Sounds like your opportunity to have dinner and conversation with your high school friend and talk about your moms could be difficult and yet also a healing piece of your grieving process. Wishing you the best today as you face another round of 14-year-olds. That can be such a hard age, and you never know what a difference you are making in their lives.

Lav - Hooray for your young chick's first egg, even in 28 degrees!

Have a great day/night all!

[NoSugar]

The stories here really touch me and make me feel so not all alone...I am so scared of life without wine to cope but I am also scared of losing my family entirely. My husband tries to understand but he can't..... My best friend.

Hi, AndreaLeigh

If you read back through this thread you'll feel even less alone. Most of us felt much as you describe when we first got up the courage to post here. My nightly glasses of wine had pretty much become my only friends - I'd almost completely isolated myself so I could drink the way I wanted to - a lot and alone.

That fear you're feeling is real but it turns out, it is due to the addiction. You're keeping the addiction alive because you're afraid but it turns out that when you quit feeding the addiction, the fear fades.

I'm glad you found the nest. It's a great place to get the support we all seem to need. :welcome:

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Welcome, AndreaLeigh. Yes, it is so scary to contemplate life without alcohol. That's why the "one day at a time" meant so much to me. There was a paradox - I knew I needed to say I quit forever, but I also knew I only needed to take it one day at a time. When I quit I was very worried about a big drinking yearly vacation we take - that was 8 MONTHS AWAY! Needless to say, I focused on getting through each day, and by the time 8 months rolled around it was no big deal. Whatever you think you can't get through without alcohol, you can. It will be easier eventually. I recommend the podcast The Bubble Hour for all newbies. It is GREAT, and I'm sure they have one on fear.

I was reading a medical/health journal and came to an article about mental health and exercise. It ends with this: "Physical activity and reduction of sedentary behavior have a synergistic effect on improving both physical and psycho-social health...If the benefits of exercise could be distilled into one medication and bottled, it likely would be the best selling and most prescribed medication in history." It is SO important to move. Doesn't have to be daily beast work outs at the local gym - a walk around the block is a good place to start.

It was a good reminder to me - my week has been crazy and I have neglected exercise. I am going to get out there today - it is most definitely good medicine for me.

Hope you all have great Thursdays.

Pav

[Nursie]

Checking in over here for accountability.
I have 6 days in a row strung along now. There have been many starts and stops for me along the way.