I had a pretty stressful week. Someone close to me tried to end it all again. Aside from trying to help them get the help they need, I was really struggling. The last time that happened...I drank, it was my first quit on here. Dunno the amount of days I had, can't even remember, maybe a couple of weeks. It was long enough I realized the alcohol was not helping me with my feelings. This time the amount of grief I felt was epic. For about 5 days I just walked around in despair. I tried to confront them and tell them how hard this situation is for me. So here I am trying to tell the failed suicide attempt guy how painful seeing him like this is for me, the scene makes me laugh. Normally I would feel such immense guilt about having those feelings I would never tell them, especially in the situation they are in. Like obviously the last thing they should care about would be me in that moment. But you know what, I am entitled to my feelings, and maybe next time I won't have to do something like that towards them, but at least I got through it without drinking.
My wife is also frustrated with me about this. She has been my outlet since I stopped drinking and I express my feelings toward her instead of suppressing them with alcohol. She can't tell anyone what I tell her, so she is in a tough position emotionally as well. Helping someone with mental illness is tough, and there is friendly fire abound. She told me to cut ties after I told her how I felt, and logically she is right but this is an emotional problem. We can choose how we react to situations, and I am determined to try to care less about the decision this person makes and try to put less stress on my wife.
Your 1st emotional crisis without alcohol can be tough, my wife's miscarriage last year was my first big one, I would count this past week as my second. Thursday night, after arguing till 230am with this person, I stared a my liquor cabinet for a long time. I finally remembered I am gonna have another little one in a month and a half, and slammed the thing shut.
Good luck all, see you at 700, or at the next crsis haha
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