Newbies Nest

[Struggles 106]

Good morning all-
Another beautiful day here in NC. Out walking in a few minutes
I thought of another story this morning--my company sent me to the University of Kansas in Lawrence to work with some doctors for a day. We did our training,and they invited me to dinner. They left after dinner and a couple of beers, of course I had to stay and talk to several U.K. Students,then went with them to drink more and do a bunch of coke and weed.
I did not make my early morning flight and had to stay another night to recover.
Keep in mind that I was FIFTY ONE at this time. 4 male students btw.
What a shitshow
THRILLED to be here

[Struggles 106]

Oh yes it can be low indeed. I really believe I was headed for a disaster. The incident on 10/16 was by far enough for me. As I said when it endangers my granddaughter I'm done.
Byrdie has met her btw; she has a rare chromosomal abnormality and is a delight.
She was 2 in Sept and can only say 2 words, but she is happy and healthy and I must do better for the two of them.

Ann

[Struggles 106]

So...I'm not working this week, which is why I have so much time to post . I took a week off to keep from losing it and it's been great.
Terrific walk today- not a cloud in the sky. Trying to be mindful and appreciate every little thing. I realize it's day to day but I am very determined. I want to look in the mirror and respect the person I see.
My daughter wants to organize a run/walk to benefit the Smith Magenis Syndrome Research Foundation. That is what my granddaughter has, and I will help her do it.
I would imagine that part of the reason for escalation and downfall is that the stress of having them here was overwhelming. Well, that and the fact that I'm a drunk.
Lol

Ann C

[available]

Morning nesters

Busy days here but always reading.

Welcome Ann. We all have stories and my children seem to remember most of them as by the stage i did stupid things i was on the way to blacking out. i did fracture my cheek bone quite nicely one year. I enjoy not staggering around the house anymore and wondering how i got to bed and where i got the bruises from the next day. life is so enjoyable sober.

J, i honestly dont know how you work with kids all day, you are one of a kind. Mine push me now and they are grown ups! Nothing is worth drinking AT.

Mads is doing wonderful which makes life easier. My friends ex hubs is not doing so well after a month in ICU. His liver and kidneys are still not doing well and if he lives through this he will need a liver transplant but they cant seem to get his blood to coagulate. All due to drinking, it is taking its toll on the family so much.

Well better get ready for work. Celebrated 2 years and 11 months sober a couple of days ago and i still shake my head with wonder that no al has entered this body in that time. It is a great feeling and i know that plodding along each and every day and putting up with the shit without putting al in my mouth and pure determination has gotten me here to today. Life is good.

Take care xx

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like everyone had a good hump day

Ava, we will have your cake ready for your 3 year anniversary!!!!
Life is much nicer without fractures & mystery bruises, ha ha!
Sorry to hear about your friend's ex, doesn't sound promising for him.

Ann, it's nice that you have this week off to get yourself started on the right path.
Your granddaughter is lucky to have you help care for her!

The odd warmish weather this week really has me thinking about global warming. On the one hand it's nice not having to spend money to heat the house but on the other it's just seems weird for November.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[j-vo]

It really was a happy hump day. I guess I just figured one bad day would lead to another and that's my messed up thinking. What a pleasant surprise to find out that it didn't have to be that way, but had I picked up a bottle after my bad day yesterday, it would have been another crap day. I stopped that crap in it's tracks.

Ava, glad to hear Mads is doing well. Congrats on your 2 yrs 11 mo!!!! Big 3 coming up and we'll have a big partee for ya. Sad to hear about your friend. And a big reality check as that can happen to any one of us if we take that first drink.

Ann, I have many stories as well. I ended up up in the hospital after two incidents. Not pretty. Both took away all of my self-respect and so much more. I think back to those times when I scared with people I love, who love me and it stll hurts. One of the incidents left me without my two front teeth. :sad: Never wanna be there again, ever.

Lav, yeah, kinda weird with this warm weather. I see a change in the forecast soon.

Have a good night all.

[Byrdlady]

Sky, around here, 7 days earns you a prize! Here is that 2 Cheeked Salute that onlu WE can give, Nesters!? :butt:
Well done on your full week. We know you are glad to have them behind you!

Ann, Im so glad you are here and that you have some time off this week. That grandbaby IS a precious little soul, I have met her! You have a beautiful family and they are worth fighting for. Keep up the great work, its a relief to be done with all the drama of AL.
Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Congrats on 7 days Sky! Yooooouuuge stuff friend. Keep up the gr8 work. :thumbs:

Now nesters, yiz want some stories? No? ok. Did i ever tell yiz about the time i left a party and hit the town in the early hours on me own? Well, i ended up........

I don't remember everything, and for me i reckon there's a bit of selective memory going on, but if i search the memory banks there really was some dangerous self destructive behaviour. To continue this sort of lifestyle now i know would be even more dangerous. It'd end up as they've been saying in the classics for thousands of years - Hospital, Gaol, or dead. And probably sooner than later.

But on a cheerier note, day 82 and i'm not going back. May the good lord take a liking to ya. Let's git it. :llama:

[Guitarista]

Reflection -

Was just thinking for a moment where i'd be with a few years AF under my belt. Lawdy lawdy! As the fog clears and my way becomes clear, i realise what a huge waste of life boozing is. There is so much living to do, and today as i peek through the thick dense jungle, weeds and trees to the the big endless clear field ahead, i see that i really have no fkn idea of just how GREAT a life can be. Jaysus, for a second there, i was given a quick look at stuff and a feeling i cannot even dream of right now.

There cannot be any going back, and there won't be. Let's make some history baby.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Ann - wow, you really had some "fun" all boozed up! What stands out to me in your story is how sick you were that you couldn't fly home. Gosh, I remember that total poisoned feeling. Horrible!! It is amazing that we survived it. The longer sober, the more bizarre it seems that I was convinced that I "needed" it!!

Ava - glad Mads is doing fine! Your friend in ICU scares me, because I am sure he didn't think his drinking was THAT bad. It is such a creepy disease. By the time you figure out that people can smell you, that your health is affected, it ruins your family, influences your job, etc - there is so much damage already done!! How this disease sets over from stage 1 to 2 then 3 and 4. It is visible to people around you, but the alcoholic still believes he is doing fine, or realize it, but too sick to stop.

G-man - Hmmm, the AF future! The opposite of what I wrote above. We have a bright future!!

I watched "Life Animated". How an autistic boy used Disney movies to connect to the world. It got to me. Such a struggle to connect for one person and his family and for the alcoholic it is so important to disconnect from this world.

This post may sound a bit depro, but I am in good spirits. Just thoughts running through my recovering brain

Have a good day!

[j-vo]

I'm clicking on page 1348 and 49 but nothing's coming up???

Anyhow, G, I feel sad that I don't know what it's really like...living life. I've wasted so much of my life. On the other hand, what you said. I look forward to taking part in what most people do. For us, it's like we're reborn when we become sober. I look forward to feeling, seeing, participating, loving, listening, and so much more.

Ann, I know your granddaughter is special and she's lucky to have such a caring gram like you. I worked as a special education teacher for several years before my current position, and in my current position, I still work with the special needs kids. They're all included in the regular education classes. I have a special bond with them, I think because of my background and my love for working with them. I was on FB last night and saw a down syndrome girl who received her education to become a preschool teacher. This is in Argentina. Warms my heart and what a great role model she is. Everything is possible.

I've been sleeping through the night much better that past week. I get up to go wee a few times and it's annoying as hell, but I am able to fall back to sleep. And that first cuppa in the morning tastes amazing.

Have a good one all.

[available]

Evening nesters

Sky congrats on your 7 days a great feeling to have done everyday of the week. It motivated me to do more of that.

J, i am on page 6774 and the last page comes up as that. Bit weird and as i am so determined i kept pressing "last" till i realised i was on it.

Just, it is very sad to hear of my friends ex's illness. They separated due to his drinking pretty much, he left his job not long ago and gave some excuse that his work was cutting his pay by 30 thousand dollars and the denial and lies kept going. he told my friend his eyes were yellow due to anemia. obviously he knew he was unwell but denied the signs. now he has hit is rock bottom and will he survive, it is doubtful. This could have been me or any of us. I just had a call from my friend and her ex has taken a turn for the worse and is in a coma, he cant fight anymore and the drs have given an extremely grave prognosis. I hate al and it is tragic to listen to another life being taken by something that is socially acceptable and legal.

On a happier note, i cant believe Just that you are at 211 days. So proud of you. God the time goes quick and lucky for us we have had the pleasure of your journey over that time.

Well i am off to sleep, extremely grateful to be sober tonight. I offered to drive and look after her daughter, i can do that as i dont drink! We will see what happens.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters, I am having the same issue with the page numbers at the bottom, I thought, GOSH there was a lot of conversation overnight!!
Getting sober IS like getting a second chance at life. I don't plan to blow this wonderful opportunity, either. I see AL is the ANTI-BYRD. Whatever IT offers, I don't need.

Ava, so sad about Belinda's husband. I was in denial that deep myself. I said to myself, 'you gotta die of something' just so I didn't have to face quitting. That is so sad. There are so many who have watched family members die of this awful disease and yet can't break free of it themselves....To that I say, DO WHATEVER it takes to get in your DAY 1. Get started and give us 30 days. You will see what a difference it can make. If you have tried and failed, try ONE MORE TIME. Do not let AL take one more day of your precious life.
Just DO IT and get it done once and for all. Tomorrow never comes for an addict. Today is all that counts.

Hope everyone has an easy day. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Mr Vervill]

Ava, so sorry to hear about your friend's hubby. Sad and tragic.

I was watching the final game of the World series last night, and saw the strangest commercial advertising Las Vegas. While I can't find the exact one, this is pretty close.
YouTube
What are they thinking!? This is fun and glamorous?
I'll take life, Thank you.

[wagmor]

Ava - So very sorry to hear the grave turn things have taken for your friend's ex. It is, as someone already said, very sobering news. Fantastic that you are sober and able to help with her daughter though. And then the brightest note - glad to hear that Mads is doing so well. Two paws up for that!

Jvo - Glad your Wed was better than your Tue. I do wonder if sugar overload was part of the issue for the students on Tue. Improved sleep is definitely one of the positives of giving up al, isn't it?

Ann and G-man - Your stories, all of our stories actually, are very somber reminders of how we systematically work to destroy ourselves and those around us when we give al such a big role in our lives. In the months before my final quit (the one I'm currently in), I started experiencing blackouts and would often wake up and find the evidence of things I'd done the night before but had no recollection of. I think this scared me straight. I was lucky that I never got seriously injured or did anything that involved law enforcement, but I would bet I was headed in that direction. Sigh...

Mr V - Nope, definitely not fun OR glamorous, but that's definitely a side of vegas that gets heavily promoted. A group of my friends (more like acquaintances now) recently did a "girls weekend" in vegas and they posted all sorts of drinking photos on FB and other sites. Several spoke of needing weeks to recover after their multi-day binge. This is an experience I definitely do not miss, and it's a huge part of why I don't spend time with these "friends" anymore - it just feels so pointless and sad.