Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Tony, (or shall we call you, Jr Prize Patrol!!) Thank you for doing the MATH! Elvis has 2 YEARS under his belt! I'll have to reach into the Prize Closet and head over to Roll Call to do it all proper-like. What a huge milestone in our sober lives....to be measuring in years is a wonderful thing, but as you notice, he rocked it one day at a time....over on Roll Call. Never missed a day. I'm such a big fan of this man and I hope you'll join me in a round of applause for our unsung hero, Elvis!!!!
:dancin:

It's only Friday, nesters, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF!! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Yay Elvis!!! Big Congratulations on 2 years AF.. so happy to be here to celebrate with you!:sohappy:

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Mr. G - Acknowledgement and Acceptance. You said it. No sense in perseverating on "why me?" It just is what it is. And thankfully I've gotten to the point where gratitude comes with that acceptance. So very glad I will never have another hangover in my life.

Good to see you LC. Way to go, Kensho. Sorry about all that, J-Vo. I'm a puffy eyed crier, too. Much better than hangover.

Right now on Bored Panda they are running something where people are posting their before and after pictures after they have been sober for a while. REALLY illuminating. I know I see some old pictures of myself and just cringe. 1+ Before-And-After Pics Show What Happens When You Stop Drinking (Part 2) | Bored Panda

Ok. Friday, check. No ticket to Boozeville, check. Nice music, warm lighting, aromatic tea, check. Looks like I'm ready for a fabulous weekend.

Pav

[wagmor]

Right now on Bored Panda they are running something where people are posting their before and after pictures after they have been sober for a while. REALLY illuminating. I know I see some old pictures of myself and just cringe. 1+ Before-And-After Pics Show What Happens When You Stop Drinking (Part 2) | Bored Panda

Thanks for sharing this Pav. I actually just logged on here to post about this same photo series! I found it as a blog post on the artfido website. Even at only 104 days, I know I look and feel a ton healthier. When I run into people I haven't seen for a few months, they almost always comment that I'm looking slimmer, happier, overall better.

How about other folks - how do you feel and look different after even a few days/weeks/months of being AF?

[paulywogg]

Wow Pav,thanks for sharing that! Actually brought tears to my eyes seeing the difference between the sickness and how healthy they look now,absolutely wonderful

[Struggles 106]

Hello on this fine Friday.
I've decided that Sat night will be my night for a "treat", though I'm exercising and eating healthy stuff. Much better to eat some Ben and Jerrys than to drink a bunch of poison.
I went out walking - another beautiful day.

My story I'd like to share today is nit really a story, just an acknowledgement of how I've hurt my daughter. I had a drunk mom AND dad so I know how awful it can be.
I had come to a point where I would go out and drink and come home and she would say
"What is wrong with you?" The defining episode that I'm clinging to is the last drunk day
when she did not realize how drunk I was and left the baby with me for a bit while she went to the store. That's only part of the story of that day. Very cringe-worthy
Now when I go out she's asks where I'm going etc, and I know that she fears I'll be drinking.
She won't say that but I know,just like the fear I had as a kid.
I know I've said it before, as all you regulars here know, Lav, Byrdie, Paully, etc- that I'm done. I feel like I've turned a corner and I feel like I am getting to The reason for drinking to be comfortable in my own skin.
Far less negative self-talk. I deserve better.
On a happy note my grand daughter as I've said has a disability, but she is walking all over the place. Physical therapy has been great for her,as low muscle tone is part of her situation.
There is no way to know what her future holds but she surely knows she is loved.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'm thinking about what to hav tomorrow night
already. Cake from Fresh Market? Yeah!

Peace and love

Ann C

[Byrdlady]

Ann, I forgot to tell you we are secretly protesting The Fresh Market. I was trying to get their business with my new job and was told we were the front runners and then a week later we were yesterday's news! Lost to a competitor! UGG!
I'm so happy to hear that the baby is walking around at warp speed, she is a doll!
It takes a while to get out from under the cloud of AL and the suspicion that it brings....took quite a while to earn my hubs' trust again, but it will come. As long as you stay sober, there is nothing to see in the rear view mirror, just keep facing forward! Glad that you are haivng a great day, you deserve it! Hugs, B

[Elvis]

Thanks Tony, Byrdy, and lifechange! I wasn't sure how the whole leap day fit into the calculation thing, so I wasn't gonna make a big deal about it until Saturday. But now is a good time as any to celebrate! It's nice to be able to measure my quit in years.

So what's my secret? A few things stick out.

One thing I do is I make time for MWO every day. At a minimum I check in every morning, most evenings, and just about any other time I have a few free minutes. It only takes a few minutes a day to visit MWO, but the payoff is so great! The ones who are most successful here are those who stay the closest to MWO. That's just a fact. MWO is great community and I am amongst friends. Lots of smart people here at all levels of quit. Post whenever you need to and take the advice of those who've been around -- they've been there, done that, and know what they are talking about. People who went through the process themselves really understand. Pick a few topics you like and stick with them. It should be no secret that Roll Call is my favorite topic. It keeps me accountable to you all and to myself. And I selfishly like seeing my number go up every day too! It's such a part of my morning routine now that I feel out-of-sorts if I don't do it. Wake up, get dressed, brush my teeth, post on MWO -- maybe not always in that order, but I do make sure I get here every day one way or another! And I'm usually at least somewhat dressed when I do it!

Another thing I did was learn my triggers. I've had my fair share of Day 1s. While I wish I didn't have so many of them, each one was a very important learning experience. I never considered it a failure if I learned something from it and put a plan in place to stop it from happening again. In the beginning I was learning things like I can't keep alcohol in the house, or I need to remove myself from situations where alcohol is the main focus such as certain parties. Over time I learned things like I need to eat something when I get cravings, or nothing kills stress faster than exercise. Now I've got a nice list of triggers to look out for and a big arsenal of plans and strategies to remove or minimize the trigger. Removing a deeply ingrained habit like drinking is a long process. It's going to have it's share of ups and downs. Learn from your mistakes and have a plan in place. It gets easier over time.

Another thing I do is don't allow myself to drink. It's a simple in concept actually, but took me forever to get it through my thick skull. I used to go into a quit saying things like "Maybe I can have one for a special occasion" or "Maybe in 10 years things will be different and I can drink again." I always gave myself an out, and that why I always failed. Now, there is no more "maybe". Now I protect my quit like my life depends on it. Because it does. Staying sober is my #1 priority. Uncomfortable situation, and I'm outta there. No hesitation when asked if I want a drink -- "NOPE!" And I've lost count of how many times I've yelled at my AV (alcoholic voice) "NO! I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE! REMEMBER?" Stupid AV. I don't miss drinking one bit and I have no reason to drink anymore. I am no longer a drinker and it's the best decision I ever made. That's just a fact.

Have a support system in place, learn your triggers and have a plan, and commit yourself fully to permanent abstinence from alcohol. Never stop trying and don't beat yourself up for falling down from time to time. It's part of the process!

Sorry if that's a little disjointed. I hope I got my points across okay. Have a great day everyone!

[Guitarista]

Another thing I did was learn my triggers. I've had my fair share of Day 1s. While I wish I didn't have so many of them, each one was a very important learning experience. I never considered it a failure if I learned something from it and put a plan in place to stop it from happening again. In the beginning I was learning things like I can't keep alcohol in the house, or I need to remove myself from situations where alcohol is the main focus such as certain parties. Over time I learned things like I need to eat something when I get cravings, or nothing kills stress faster than exercise. Now I've got a nice list of triggers to look out for and a big arsenal of plans and strategies to remove or minimize the trigger.

Congrats on 2 years Elvis! that's just gr8 mate. I like what you say above. Have a fab celebration.

Big waves to all!

[paulywogg]

Wonderful post Elvis!! You always say something so profound when you post, thank you

[scottish lass]

TGIF - that was a heck of a week, and aided without wine!!
Lots of folks were saying how wine was getting them through it all, and it was such the 'norm' - one peer said she had given up for Nov, but had to drink after work one day and will have to at Thanksgiving, and how hard it is as alcohol is everywhere...that she really can't manage the month....
It is tough, but it's worth it is it not!!!

Elvis - what can I say - very well done, but little ache in my heart as we were quit buddies once, I would love to say it was 2 years for me - it has been a great two years, with very little drinking - very, very little - but a no drinking would be so awesome to say!! Congratulations!!
OK - took a quick break and back to grind stone - wineless Friday and weekend on its way.

One thing I started after joining here was running - 2014 was my first 5K - doing the same one on Sunday, would not manage this if I was drinking - I train Wed evenings at 7pm (well into drinking hours) and Sat at 7am (hungover hours!) - still not sure I enjoy running, but love that I can!!

TGIF!

[j-vo]

Congratulations, Elvis! I loved your post and I can see how you've been successful. Accountability is huge, tools in place, and a plan. I'll take that advice and run with it. Thank you!

You sound wonderful SL! I hate running, always have, but i do love to walk and when I'm not smoking, love yoga and pilates. That's coming, but not just yet. Good luck with your training.

Pav, the pics were amazing. Thanks for sharing that. I already feel better and look better. I can see a difference in my face and some people have commented that I look good. I'll take that compliment, and continue walking and eating well. I won't give up my chocolate right now, maybe never...

It was a peaceful day at work as we had a clerical day. I didn't run around like a lunatic, my usual on this kind of day trying to get too many things done. I set my music on the 80's station and enjoyed slowly working.

We have a light weekend with not many responsibilities. Going to take Dad out to dinner tomorrow, have school work to do, but I told hubs that I'd like to do something special tomorrow. Maybe go on a bike trail that takes us into the city. I did it once and tomorrow would be the perfect day. We'll see!

Have a good night all.

[Byrdlady]

Elvis, Pauly is right, you dont talk much but when you do, its amazing. That is a post for the ages, would you consider putting it in the Tool Box for us? Well done on your anniversary AND that incredible speech. B

[Elvis]

You always say something so profound when you post

That's a lot of pressure!!! I better hire a speech writer before my next post!

[Struggles 106]

I must say Elvis that you are an inspiration to me!
And Byrdie- of course in solidarity I will avoid Fresh Market. Whole Food it is!

After recognizing the struggle to avoid drinking that last time I'm going to take Elvis' advise and have some tools/ diversions ready. That day I went back and forth and ma th wrong choice. ☹️