Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Hi Nest!! I've missed you! It was a busy weekend, tying up loose ends. We SO enjoyed our concert. The hubs still likes to get pretty tipsy - I fully enjoy NOT - though I do still wish I could loosen up and let go - alcohol did that for me. Something I have to learn. We used to choose a particular restaurant in this town we went to, because of the margaritas. I am SO bored of it now - and my husband is still in that groove. I'm kind of disappointed that he still lets alcohol make the decisions. I wish he would move on. I GET IT that it makes him feel good, but then it makes him feel like shit, and it becomes a focus that I'm over.

In fact, I've been feeling a little restless in general. I have this whole sober life ahead of me, and I feel like I can shape it however I want. What do I want to experience and feel? Where do I want to travel? Who do I want to be? I am missing feeling passion - for anything. I'm happy, and balanced and stable and doing fine and good. But I am craving a depth of emotion that I used to experience more frequently. Why? It usually UN-balances me when I feel that way, yet I crave it? I get bored easily.

Anyway, JUSTME, 5 years is a great goal! I'm there with you! Let's do it!

SL, awesome job on your run! I often want to stay in bed or skip the workout too, but, as I was telling my son this weekend, I've NEVER regretted exercising. It's just the first few minutes that sometimes hurts! Way to go!

AVA, isn't it amazing how that AV voice lives on and jumps in whenever it possibly can? I'm SO glad you didn't drink at 50!

I'm off to do my icky billing and drawing specs. BO-RING. I need some spice somewhere!

Have a great day everyone!

[ThirdTimesACharm]

It seems silly to post this after only 30 days of being AL-free. But so much has happened in the last 30 days, maybe it's not so silly after all. It feels like at least a few years has gone by.

I thought I would share the top 10 reasons I know I made the right choice:

- I have a clear head every morning
- My face looks almost normal (redness almost completely gone, no puffiness, no bags under my eyes)
- I've lost 18lbs already
- My blood pressure has dropped from 150/110 on day 0 to averaging around 115/65 today
- I go to bed early, get up early and get a great sleep almost every night. I had completely forgotten what a good night sleep felt like
- I've started making time for my family and I'm spending almost all my free time with them
- I've finished 10 or more jobs/fixes around the house that I had started over the last 10 years and never finished (due to being drunk and having no motivation)
- I've started running, swimming and biking again (just entered a marathon and a triathlon in the spring/summer!)
- (As of today) I quit my job and I'm now building my own business!!
- Left the best for the last - my wife and I are trying for another baby :happy2::happy2::happy2:

I still have so much to do, but I know that I now have a strong foundation upon which to build my future.

I know for sure I will never drink alcohol again - not even if no one would ever know. **I** would know and that's all that counts. I can summon those AL-induced feelings of guilt, shame and physical sickness at a moment's notice.

And while I feel terribly sad that I've wasted 2 decades of my life in an AL-induced fog, I know I needed to go there before I became whole. I'm so overjoyed to have finally found the light, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life living every day, every hour and every last minute in the moment.

All the best, my friends.

ThirdTimesACharm

[Nursie]

Hi Nest!
I'm checking in after awhile. I'm doing well and I have made it through some social occasions without drinking. My brain plays tricks on me but if I stay certain that I just don't drink, it feels easier.
This time around, is harder than any other time I have quit. No matter what anyone told me, I had to reach this point on my own.
Thanks for listening!

[j-vo]

Evening Nestees,

Finishing up homework and getting ready to settle into the evening. Today, we had some important guests in the Burgh. College boy got a show this morning watching Hillary. I told him that's another perk going to school at Pitt. So many things going on, events, and our city just rocks.

Wags, I don't know what I want to do. I've already been out in bar/restaurants and have been ok. I know that I'd be on guard and I wouldn't let anyone peer pressure me. That part does not scare me at all anymore, and it kind of seems silly that someone my age would be pressured into drinking something they dont want. If I do stop for half hour or so, I'll have to think of a drink like maybe club soda and cranberry juice. Sounds kind of refreshing.

Kensho, I'm not so sure I have any good advice on your restlessness. I think I may be opposite, and I don't want anything new or do anything adventurous right now. Work, taking care of Dad, and just life has me busy enough. Maybe someone else has better words.

T3...great list!!! That's so wonderful. So many things to be grateful for. Good for you.

[wagmor]

It seems silly to post this after only 30 days of being AL-free. But so much has happened in the last 30 days, maybe it's not so silly after all. It feels like at least a few years has gone by.

I thought I would share the top 10 reasons I know I made the right choice:

- I have a clear head every morning
- My face looks almost normal (redness almost completely gone, no puffiness, no bags under my eyes)
- I've lost 18lbs already
- My blood pressure has dropped from 150/110 on day 0 to averaging around 115/65 today
- I go to bed early, get up early and get a great sleep almost every night. I had completely forgotten what a good night sleep felt like
- I've started making time for my family and I'm spending almost all my free time with them
- I've finished 10 or more jobs/fixes around the house that I had started over the last 10 years and never finished (due to being drunk and having no motivation)
- I've started running, swimming and biking again (just entered a marathon and a triathlon in the spring/summer!)
- (As of today) I quit my job and I'm now building my own business!!
- Left the best for the last - my wife and I are trying for another baby :happy2::happy2::happy2:

I still have so much to do, but I know that I now have a strong foundation upon which to build my future.

I know for sure I will never drink alcohol again - not even if no one would ever know. **I** would know and that's all that counts. I can summon those AL-induced feelings of guilt, shame and physical sickness at a moment's notice.

And while I feel terribly sad that I've wasted 2 decades of my life in an AL-induced fog, I know I needed to go there before I became whole. I'm so overjoyed to have finally found the light, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life living every day, every hour and every last minute in the moment.

All the best, my friends.

ThirdTimesACharm

TTC - That's a fantastic list and wonderful news! So happy for you on all counts. Look forward to hearing future updates about your business, your athletic endeavors, and your potentially growing family

[Byrdlady]

T3, great 30 day speech. Would you consider putting that in the Tool Box for us? Those testimonials are priceless when you are new and scared reading our site for the first time. To see that other people, just like us, can accomplish this, is incrdibly inpiring.

Busy day here. Great to see everyone checking in and doing well. Keep it going, no matter what! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It was another lovely fall day here, very pretty in fact

Mario, it's so nice to see your handsome face around here again!

Justme, I decided way back to 'apologize' to my family by showing them the new & improved me.
After 18 months or so, when your head really, really clears you will see things about other people that perhaps you missed before. At least that was my experience & it was kind of shocking to me to be honest. I'm just passing on a friendly warning to prepare yourself, ha ha!

Hi there Ava, j-vo & kensho.
Wagmor, it sounds like you are already seeing some great benefits of being AF, good for you!
Nursie, embrace this quit as THE QUIT so you never have to go thru it again

Hello to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

PS: I meant to tell you a cute little story -
Yesterday I met some old friends for lunch at a chain restaurant. The waitress greeted us by slapping down a bottle of chardonnay on the table saying 'can I interest you ladies in a glass'? I know she saw my head recoil as the bottle was only about half a foot away from my head. We all said 'no thanks'. The waitress says 'I guess it's a little too early for you'? I said, 'NO, IT'S WAY TOO LATE', ha ha!!!
That little incident probably would have been unsettling to me years ago but now I can just laugh that stuff off

[Struggles 106]

Hi all-
Long day at work. Day 22. It's nice to be busy; drinking doesn't enter my mind.

I seem to be in a grateful mood. Not that long ago I was hating this townhouse I live in, but now I'm relishing my aspects of it. I think part of it is not comparing yourself and your situation/marital things to others. Watching my granddaughter learn to walk leaves me thinking that I am quite rich.

I hope everyone had a good beginning of the week. I do love my job. I spent quite some time this evening playing a ukulele at the office. It's good to be alive

Ann C

[Justme Again]

Morning Nest

Very early morning here. Went to bed early. Looks like my body just needed 6 hrs to recharge

Wagmor - glad you got answers that help. To a great extend being sober is about mind control. The way we think. The physical crap lasts a short while and after that it is checking your thoughts daily like mr. G always talks about. And I suspect that is where the recovery comes in. Once you start "correcting" your thoughts on something that is intermingled with every aspect of your life - you also tend to "correct" a lot of other things.

TTAC - Congrats on 30 days!! Great speech!

KENSHO - You are more of a busy bee. Can imagine that things seem a bit dull without al around. I felt it too 5 years ago with a long quit, but today I cherish a slow life. It is hard to loosen up in social situations where al used to help us through. I guess part of recovery is accepting it. What always surprised me (back in my married days and forced visits with big drinking inlaws) was that nobody took it as me being uncomfortable. They just experienced me being a bitch. So, if I had to do it again I would be nicer and limit the social time. But limiting to some groups are also bitchy / wrong. Sticky one. Feel for you!:hug:

Ann C - 22 days! Great view on your town house and the richness of your life and grand daughter walking. After months of working more hours, deciding to move, new jobs, how it would work for the kids, money etc, etc... it is such a relief to look at what I have and to be truly grateful for it again.

Lav - nice one at the restaurant! They probably catch a lot of people looking for an excuse to dink that way.

Since I have so much time this morning, I feel like curling my hair.
Have a bouncy day !

[available]

Afternoon nesters

Adam is his name and last night he became another statistic due to alcohol. Adam was 42 and has left a 6 year old daughter and an ex wife who was still his friend. It has been a sad day, full of emotions, full of anger and sadness. Anger that i had to listen to people tell me that at the end of the day it was Adams fault he drank and did nothing about it, did he not realise that he had a daughter and if he was any sort of man he should of and could of stopped, that he broke up a marriage and lost his job due to his drinking and still drank. I felt like screaming that i am an alcoholic and i related to how he felt and what he must have lived with daily, that he should not be judged but remembered as the person and father that underneath the addiction was always there. I did my best to explain that i was sure Adam never wanted to die from alcohol, that he loved his daughter with all of his heart and his ex wife but al had too much of a hold on him. RIP Adam.

[j-vo]

Ava, sorry for the loss of your friend. And I can feel your justified anger regarding those comments. People don't understand addiction, they just pass judgment. It hurts.

Lav, almost 8 years too late! Good story.

Off to shower. Have a great Tuesday. US friends...don't forget to vote.

[frances]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Ava. That is such a tragedy. It is truly scary the grip AL can have. Prayers for his family.

[Nursie]

Good morning Nest!
Woke up early to meditate. I got these three great books from Amazon: 52 lists journal, daily affirmations, and a start where you are journal.
I can write down all my stuff, reflect, and digest. I have used journaling in the past but never guided journaling. This will be interesting!!
I'm feeling pretty good today.
I can't look back on my phone, but I'm sorry about your friend that died. I could have easily been that person not too long ago. I could have been dead because of alcohol.
I will catch up more at lunch time. Wishing you all a happy day.
Nursie

[daisy45]

Sorry to hear that Ava.
Well, after a lot of reflection I have come to what I consider my final quit. I have made a deal with myself that if I don't make this one work then I have to go for outside help. For me this has always been a last resort so I need to do this right now.
I have just emptied my house of all drinking glasses and alcohol. I am not hungover but have had enough of the unmerry-go-round!
I have no excuses....the tools are here.....I need to use them.
It's 6 years since I first came here......what on earth? Time to get my head out of my ass!

[Guitarista]

Sorry to hear this sad news Ava. Vale Adam. (My dad died in a similar way at age 40). Sheesh! Far too young.

You go for it Daisy. Take back your precious life.

Good job Nursie!

Big waves to all.