Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Hi Peeps! Sunny morning here, which I need! I am finally feeling the time change and lower light. Ack - it is not a fun feeling. I'm a bit down and unmotivated and feel a little dark and lost. But I know it passes and I look forward to sunny Arizona next week where there's plenty of light.

Nursie, I hate those moments too - the bottle in your face and that brief moment of longing and confusion. Good job putting those thoughts in their place!

Justme, though it IS our responsibility, and though we were fairly unreceptive of drinking criticism while in the throws, I often find myself considering how it became so easy to be addicted to alcohol. No one told me it was dangerous, in fact part of my family growing up bragged (and still does) about their college drinking days. He is a wonderful man, and drinks moderately. But he fails to see that some people need to hear ALL sides, particularly the bad side, of alcohol. It is too available and glorified on tv and movies.

Have a good day everyone!

[scottish lass]

Wags and Kensho - feeling the same here, little blue. No reason for me to be this way - is it just the season? Had a lovely day out with my two girls yesterday - said enough of homework, work work and house work and went out, it was lovely and sunny and outdoors - went to some craft stalls and girls got purchases they are happy with, so good day all round but in the dumps today...glad I am sober and not hungover as that would male all worse, but would be happy to shake these feelings off!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Was out of town for the weekend - with in-laws. VERY stressful when I let it be. Usually I can tune out my father-in-law - he's very difficult, but sometimes his self-centeredness gets to me. We had a fun time otherwise - it was good to unplug and disconnect for a few days.

I haven't read back for the whole weekend - just a couple of posts. Welcome, Marathon and someone else? You picked a great place to be.

G - I want a shack next to yours. No booze, but plenty of ice cream. I miss Lil Bit, too!

Off to work. Hope everyone has a fabulous week.

Pav

[Wine-no!]

Hello!
Day 15.
Not feeling well. My youngest daughter has the same symptoms - achey, headache, tired, bleurgh... I hope the flu isn't on the way.
I read back over some old diary posts of mine and thought it was time to delete them and start fresh. Somehow, I have managed to delete access to the 'Just Starting Out' forum! So I cant post on the roll call thread today.
I really want to start my new diary when I can gain access again. I'll try again tomorrow. My head is whoozy today so I'm probably doing something silly!
Nighty night!

[Guitarista]

Hi Nesters,

The ice cream's flowin' Pav!

Great work on 15 days off the booze Wine no. Hope you and your daughter are feeling better real soon.

Sufferin' scientologists! It must be day 94. How did the cookie making go over the weekend Byrdy?

Have a fab happy week out there. This week i will smile and not frown. I will pause, breathe, appreciate something.

[j-vo]

I think we all feel a bit blech today. Maybe it's because it's Monday? I feel the same. I'm getting a little anxious about going to florida with dad. I've already had so much sadness, and going there will bring so much more. I had thoughts of alcohol, too. Not good. Am I becoming weak, is it the thought of taking this trip with Dad? I need some help. I've been to florida many times without drinking over the years. For some reason, I don't feel as strong right this minute. Maybe it's just this minute. Maybe those thoughts will fade. Is this a beginning of relapse thinking, and if it is, I need to put tools into place for myself right now. I'm not worried about starting to drink in florida, shit, I could do that right now. I don't want to. I don't want to start over. I want to stay clean and away from the poison. When I go to Florida, I need to think about taking care of Dad. How can I take care of dad if I drink. I'd only be concerned about myself and my booze. I don't want to be that selfish person anymore. When I go, I'd like to walk everyday, start to do some good things for myself, not revert back to feeling sick and being sick. I guess some visualization would be a good thing for me right now. Visualize how I can be an adult, a daughter my dad can count on. I need to treat myself with the respect I deserve, and that is to be good to myself and not self-destructive. Thanks for letting me ramble. Any words, I will appreciate.

Have a good one all.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Still chilly here in these parts & rain moving in for tomorrow, oh well.
It takes a lot of effort & purposeful distraction to keep my head out of the dumps when the sunlight is so minimal. The good thing is I am totally aware of this now & take whatever steps are necessary to prevent slipping over to the dark side. Figure out what makes you happy & just do it

Just want to say congrats to everyone moving forward & wish everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

GMan, I was a cookie making fool this past weekend. I got all the ones done for my friend to decorate on Dec 3. Still have my own to do and not sure when I will be able to do them. Im hosting Thanksgiving this year so that has kept me busy also.

Jvo, consider reading NS's famous thread, Relapse in Retrospect. I was reading one yesterday called Tail between the Legs thread or something like that. It was from 2012. Reading threads like that help me. It helps me NOT make the same mistakes that we see repeated here so often. Do whatever it takes to keep your quit intact. Do you have the hypno CD's from here? I also something about hypno CD's over the weekend, from Autumn, maybe? May be worth a shot! Those Rain in my Heart documentaries always did it for me, if you havent seen those in a while, they are worth watching. Your feelings will pass, push those thoughts out!
Night all! Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Well, I’m seeing a bit of the blahs in the Nest today, and that’s okay, it’s just a part of life for everyone, not just us. I got to thinking today about by first year of sobriety now that I’m approaching getting through my second. I was told by a few that the second year was an easy time to slip into bad habits because you get through all those first times without alcohol and begin to think that you’ve got things under control. I’m thinking they just told me that so that I wouldn’t get complacent lol.

I hear lots talk about the fear of “for the rest of my life” or “forever” and how they find that hard to comprehend. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me it’s not even a thought anymore! I can remember when I started on this quit that it had to be my last one, I didn’t have another Day 1 in me but I had a hard time thinking about the rest of my life. I think back over my first year and I can honestly say that I don’t remember a lot of the firsts without drinking! I honestly don’t remember the cravings or even if I had them! I’m sure I did, but time and acceptance have removed them from my mind. So I’m going to be one more person who tells you that it does get easier, sober time starts to erase all those memories, and yes, the cravings soon are forgotten as well.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still times when I think that it would be nice to be able to have a drink every once in a while, but they are just fleeting thoughts, not cravings or triggers anymore. I just let them pass and realize that my life is just fine without that occasional drink. So don’t let an AF future scare you. As you keep adding up your sober time, the thoughts of drinking will get fewer and farther apart, till one day just like me, you won’t even remember those cravings, you won’t even get them! They become a part of your past just like drinking has become a part of your past!

[Nursie]

J-Vo sending lots of support your way. This is a very emotional time for you and it's normal you would have drinking thoughts. We always drank through times of stress and we did it over and over! So we have to be sober through stress over and over too! We have to learn to be comfortable within discomfort without running to the bottle. That bottle is a big fat liar!!

Hello to everyone else here today! Scottish, Byrdie, Kensho, G, who am I missing? It's so hard to post from my phone! I'm sorry, I know I'm missing a few!

I had a pretty good day today! Despite having to call the ambulance for my father in law. He had to be admitted due to non-alcoholic liver cirrhosis flare up. The in-laws are actually moving from NY to Florida and the closing was today but he got too sick. The family came together and everyone helped my husband's parents and we will continue to do so. We are incredibly sad that they are moving but it will be so good for them to get to a warmer climate.
Ahh, but I was surprisingly in good spirits and had lots of energy today. I went to work, came home, cooked, cleaned a bunch, spent time with my little guy and was able to be there for my husband when he got home because he needed to fall apart a little bit. It was a long day for him packing the moving trucks, being at the hospital, getting power of attorney so they could close on the house they sold today, ugh! I couldn't have been a nurturing mother and wife today if I drank. I feel good that I keep overlooking the alcohol thoughts.
When I pass a liquor store or have al thoughts, I imagine the burning fire licks of hell shooting out of the building, lol.
I'm not gonna burn down today, Nesters! Another day in the books and things are a bit brighter today!

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Nursie, J-vo, Pav - sorry for the blues you are experiencing. I felt that way 3-4 weeks ago. Life stress that gets to you. Keep strong. It WILL pass.:love:

This time of the year can be a downer. The rush to get everything done before the holidays and year end. Half the staff at work is sick. Creates a real bolls up with the roster!! And then there is sober me standing in. What an honor to be somebody that can be counted on! CEO thanked me yesterday. It blows my mind and gives me a lot of energy. I am becoming the person I wished I could be.

On my drive to work I was thinking how to handle difficult situations that arises when we are under staffed. And I could come up with plans that will keep the situation calm. It is a far shot from the over reactive hungover me. So very thankful!

We are having a lot of early summer rains. A bit chilly and humid, but not the winter most of you are experiencing. Stay warm you guys!

[mario]

Hi folks, even though I been clean a few years ,and life is great in general, there are of course bumps on life's road,The problems of life are all still there, but I never forget that it's now because I am clean/sober that I can deal with them in a clear and selflessness way.

Reading the threads, going back to how far I have come from pushes me further down the road and over the bumps and turns, We don't need any mind altering substances in our life's, we tried we failed we moved on, let's keep moving forward...

[available]

Evening nesters

Quick check in. Found a migraine on the drive home from work today. Blah to that i say.

Just, my work is desperately understaffed and i was in stress mode last week but now have taken a step back. I can only do so much and if tests dont get done on patients then ultimately my office manager will have to explain, so i have taken to getting outside and walking at lunch time and before work. The weather is getting a bit nicer and it does me good to smell those flowers.

J, you will be okay when you go away. Ultimately we make the decision to drink, it is only us, no one else pours that drink down our throats but us. Change your routine while you are there, avoid the triggers that will entice you to drink. I showered a lot when i felt like a drink. I remember the pressure i put on myself when i went to Thailand and was newly sober and i ended up looking at the sky a lot and trying to think of everything i was grateful for being sober and i showered a lot. Think of that al brain as a toddler demanding and demanding and dont give in. Keep on here religiously and check in and post up a storm if you want. The only thing you dont do is drink. I so didnt want to let anyone down that had helped me get and keep sober. The thought of posting on here that i had drank and the consequences was enough sometimes to stop me. Remember we have all been in situations where we have wanted to drink and to get to where we are we have not drank. I can promise you that 6 months down the track that it becomes so much easier dealing with al thoughts and just making it through each and every day sober is enough. Look at a photo of you drunk and remind yourself that you dont ever want to be like that again.

I now live my life without al as a temptation. Yesterday my son had a beer and i said to him that for a fleeting moment i felt like a mouthful. I dont even like beer, it wasnt a craving or an urge it was a thought and nothing more. I was thirsty.

Hello to everyone and take care x

[daisy45]

I could come here today and say 'All good', which it is....now. But, last night I went for a swim, came out. Was hungry and wrecked after the swim.
Alcohol was preying on my mind....just one night and move on, only 1 bottle. Go home and if you want wine then go get it.....but I knew if I went home first then my girls would know and I wanted to hide it. Yes, I went and bought 2 bottles and hid them in my swim bag,

Got home, ate a massive bowl of pasta, still secretly planning for when the girls went to bed.
Belly full, I went on MWO and started reading. I thought everything through. I have to go to AA if I drink....I promised.

I did not write to say I want to drink because I was going to do it and didn't want talked out of it.....this is the stage where I have a problem.....in the moment I am stubborn and why would I ask for help to stop me doing something I really want to do? Do you see what I mean? Right now I see how mad it is and I am so happy to be sober and want to stay this way.
Anyway, all really is good now.....my girls and I are heading out tonight to see Rod Stewart in concert......can't wait....last time I seen him live was 30 years ago. Wonder if I have any leopard skin leggings?

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,

Lost Soul checking in - both an oldie & newbie at the same time. On day 3 presently.
Sorry about your father in law Nursie. Glad you had a nice day with w our family otherwise & well done for staying strong. Justme, nice reading your positive words. Mario, always grateful for your insight. Daisy, your not mad, just recognising the self negative talk we all do & found a way through - good for you.

Wishing all a sober Tuesday
Lost Soul