Newbies Nest

[madonmehndi]

Hi all,

Day 15 here and looking forward to another sober day I have read everyones posts but can't concentrate to reply individually as many of you do I'm afraid so will just say thanks to all of you for sharing your days and thoughts, it really helps me to read about them I had a rubbish day yesterday, but managed to stay strong, had an awful dream last night that I had had a glass of wine at my neighbours house, was very relieved to wake up and find it wasn't true, think it is most likely my sub-concious reminding me how much I want and need to stay sober!

Hope everyone is well today

[mario]

Landed in AZ. A flood of memories are coming of how I used to drink here. Unrestricted addiction. I feel like I'm fighting with that a bit. Otherwise glad to be on vacation.

Hello Kensho, We all get that bit nostalgic about places where we once were, and all the good drinking memory's come flooding back with the auld alcoholic devil knocking on the door saying sure you weren't that bad ,you can have one, But you know and we know that is not the case, For the majority of us every bad decision and trouble we ended up in there was alcohol around.

Enjoy the vacation there is so much to do when were free from the restraint's of this horrible addiction.

Hello to everyone else :-) Is there a trick to remembering everyone's name and answering them as my memory is shattered due to my abuse. :-)

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Kids here the weekend. Busy house and loving it!

J-vo - wishing you strength! It can't be easy doing what you are doing this week. Its a lot of raw emotion and painful. The loss of my father had a profound effect on me. Hit the bottle harder and harder. Fell pregnant. From there it was just a roller coaster and I drank more and more. All the attempts to prove to the world how ok I was just exhausted me. At times it felt the only energy I could get was from al.
You wrote that you knew your mother was worried about your drinking - hold on to that tightly!

Kensho - you sound prepared for your trip and determined not to drink. Hope you have a good break.

And congrats to you and G-man on 100 days!

Pauly - your post about the last drinking week in your life sounds too familiar... BUT all those times help me now, because I know in my bones 2 drinks won't be enough and it will become a week or weeks or months. Glad you are here.

Rahul - Congrats on 1000 days!

Mario - thank you for the great, great poem.

Have a good Sunday!

[j-vo]

So, we found out that I booked the wrong train yesterday. Oops. But we were lucky enough that we could rebook and get on this train. We didn't, however, get a room to sleep in. It wasn't a very good night's sleep, but that will happen tonight. We're currently in Jacksonville and will get to our destination by 11:00.

Sounds like everyone is doing well. I'm glad it's peaceful in the nest. I see that there were some mean words flying around in another thread. No thank you.

I'll check in later. Have a good Sunday/Monday.

[Byrdlady]

Good Sunday morning, Nesters.
Jvo, I hate it when I make travel blunders, dang it. Were you here when I went thru the same toll booth 3 times....WITH a GPS? Travel blunders are a way of life for me, can you imagine how bad it was when I was drinking? One time in an airport I was just stupid lucky to catch my flight, lost track if time in the bar! UGG. Those werent the days. I hope you get some good rest tonight!
I was just looking up my day count for the Sunday Shout Out. 2132. Just a number when you look at it, but it represents victory. If an almost Stage 3 Alkie like me can find sobriety, there is hope for everyone! I had to WANT it, I had to NEED it and there at the end, I sure did. I wish Id had the good sense to stop sooner, there is nothing to be gained by putting it off. It doesnt get easier on Mondays or first of the months or first of the years. It never gets any easier than it is right now. Do it, you will never be sorry for one day you spent sober! Byrdie

[Roobs]

Good morning peeps,
Yes, you are my peeps now so get used to it!

Congratulations Kensho and Guitarista on your 100 day milestone!

Mario, I feel the same way, what's the trick on remembering or acknowledging everyone's post? Maybe I'll keep two MWO windows open. I'm glad there's a like button or thank you button. I want everyone here to know, that I really value your input and nuggets of helpful tips and support.

Byrdie, you're posts are always so direct and honest. You make feel like anything is possible. You're right, no reason to keep puttin it off. "Monday or after the holidays" that would just give me reason to gulp my way through everyday until the "start" day and of course chances would be that I would guzzle right past it.

I did something yesterday morning after my cuppa joe. I texted two of the guests we'll be having over on thanksgiving that I have renewed my commitment to not drinking , so I won't be drinking on Thanksgiving. I saw one of these friends at the soccer field later and mentioned my text. I felt the need to be really honest, I told her I didn't want to be swayed by simple suggestions such as, " ooh, just try this wine with this cheese or Just a little?" Those little innocent invitations can be the kiss of death. She was super awesome about it, Mentioned that she would like to do the same.
It's been really helpful to put it out there instead of trying to win this war on my own.

On to day 6 for me.

Roobs

[paulywogg]

Hello everyone, Roobs,great job on day 6 Lost Soul on day 7 on day 10(again) I'm so over being in the early days all of the time and friends here that I've had quit dates with are on YEARS sober and I'm still dicken around with here and there,meh,Ava,it's great that you had your kids to call in the early days, I've tried that but I think cuz they're not heavy drinkers they just say"have a few" hubs says the same thing, those are the times I wish I had friends in recovery who I could call on,that's one reason I tried AA but that place gave me the creeps, not AA itself just the people at that particular place were creepy, in.the end though it really is up to me to make the choice not to drink,quit the romantic thinking, quit the pity party,I'm sick of being sick,hope everyone has a nice AF Sunday

[SouthLondoner]

Really trying to get back on track with this. I have emailed "Mind" to find out further about mental health issues. I'm still at the point of 'the chicken and the egg'. I know I have to manage my drinking as well as my mindset. My mindset (low self esteem, potentially paranoid thinking/social anxiety) leads to drinking, which in turn leads to a worse mindset. After a binge, I wake up with a lot of mental chatter.

Secondly, my inability to be compassionate towards myself, and in turn others only makes me feel more isolated. That is the insight I have gained this time around. I am shut off. I am working on meditation and loving kindness, slowly looking to incorporate it into everyday life.

I am a highly sensitive person it seems - a little too much of anything unmanaged can see me running down a dark road. But I know when I'm on form, looking after myself, I am a great person to be around.

So, next step is to speak to a Mind. And completely avoid social situations that a) lead to more negative thinking and b) that involve alcohol.

[Pavati]

Good Morning, Nest:

The more sober memories we make, the less power the drinking memories and urges have.

Love this, Nursie! So true.

Madon - NoSugar gave me the pointer that I don't have to reply to everyone and/or feel guilty if I don't reply to anyone. It helped me be a more regular poster here, without the pressure to feel like I needed to reply to everyone. We all know we're here together, and now I reply to what moves me, what I want to talk about, or frankly, what I can remember!

Roobs - You are very brave to have those texts and conversations. I admire your resolve and strength. Thanksgiving without booze is so freeing for me. I often was over served (by myself, mind you) at Thanksgiving because drinking started so early in the day. I hope you have a great one!

Way to go, G and Kensho! Happy 100.

Happy Sober Sunday, Nest.

xo
Pav

[SouthLondoner]

The more sober memories we make, the less power the drinking memories and urges have.

I too love this quote.

Everything I do is related to drinking. If you go to a music or sporting event, you are thinking more about drinking.

"Oh, you can't drink.....what's the point?"

It's amazing the power it has - it takes away from the moment, from the engagement of the actual event and the socialising.

I can remember back to a stint of no AL for 60 days, and being excited and feeling the emotion of excitement of watching a football game live. No rushing off before half time to get a beer. Or the feeling of listening to real music - feeling it in your bones.

Drink short changes us and robs us of feeling.

[scottish lass]

Thanks for the discussions around mentioning people in replies! Mario - I would need to get a pen and paper if I was going to attempt that!! Pav, thanks for the reminder that it is not needed. Likewise it has made me feel as if I am not pulling my weight and made me reluctant to post, and we all know that that is not a wise thing! Madon, I just hope that all know I care and am rooting for them as we all work on bettering ourselves!

Pauly it is tough seeing people pass us and realize where we could be - let's plan on 2017 being our year!

Happy sober Sunday - truly the best kind!

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

My overnight company has gone home, no problem with the roads today but it is extremely cold & windy, Brrrr!!!

G, Congrats on 100 AF days :welldone:

South Londoner, sounds like you have thought things thru pretty well & know what you need to do. Embracing & planning for an AF life is not always easy but completely doable. I hope you get the help you desire & forge ahead to meet your AF goals.

J-vo, glad your trip was saved, geez!

Kensho, 100 days for you as well? Congrats & stay positive on your vacation.

I used to sit with a pen & paper & take notes so I could remember everyone. Think I need to start doing that again, ha ha!
Wishing everyone the best AF day possible

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Nesters, please join me in congratulating Lost Soul on her 7 days, around here, that scores you a prize! That 2 cheeked Salute. Moonshiners, drop em! :butt: Well done on getting that first week behind you!
Kensho and Guitarista, I cant believe it has been 100 days! This is just something you dont see every day, kind of like this :llama: We are so happy and proud for you!!! Keep it rolling and that llama will get easier to ride! Woooohooo for you hoth!! PP2 (Prize Patrol 2).

Speaking of, I wonder how Eloise (PP1) is doing?

[Guitarista]

Yo nesters near and not so far.

great work on day 6 Roobs, and Lost soul on 7 days off the mineral turps! Pauly on day 10! rawkin the twin digits friend. Have you tried other AA meetings near you? The people and vibe are usually quite different at each meeting. I bet you'll find some cool long time sober women to hang with.

Thanks Byrdy! Sure is party time with all these moonshiners and milestoners round here!

Monday morning in Oz. 100 days living totally clean and sober. Let's git it.

[j-vo]

Congrats to all the milestones here! I'm happy for you all. G and Kensho, awesome on the 100.

So after getting off the train, we had another 3 1/2 hours to drive. I can tell you I'm exhausted, as I didn't sleep much last night as we slept in business class, but still only seats. But we made it, a little after 4:00. I think I'm ready for bed right now.

The neighbors put a sign on Dad's garage door welcoming him back. That started the waterfall of tears. I came into the house, saw all the pictures, went into the room I sleep in, saw so many boxes with mom's writing on it, as she was Mrs. Organization. I unpacked the car and cried more as I put stuff into mom's and dad's bedroom. So basically since I've been here it's been crying and putting stuff away. I think the worst is over, maybe? I don't know. Maybe I'll feel this way all week. It feels so empty that mom is not here. I'll be here for dad, do what he needs me to do, and pray. Pray. And post. Thanks all.