Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, Londonder,I really think the gratitude thinking is key to feeling happy withsober living, without grateful thinking sobriety sometimes feels like something I HAVE to do,not WANT to do and there's a huge difference between the two, noticing the small benefits of being a nondrinker,something as simple as enjoying coffee and donuts for a change, racking up fitbit steps,laughing with the family, etc,too often I get into a mood where I just don't care about anything at all so I'll drink, then wish I hadn't so I could enjoy those things that I thought I didn't care about, I hope that makes sense, I'm tired and my brain feels fried, overwhelmed with Christmas already, my daughters B.S.just haven't slept great hopefully I'll catch up tomorrow, wishing everyone a peaceful AF Day

[Mr Vervill]

Wow, a few days away, and it took me hours to catch up. Busy place. Thanks for all the insight everyone.

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,

Kensho, thank you for that post. It really is important to remember that the happy high of drinking is such a short time before we/I'd be drunk. It's not that romantic and it's certainly not worth it.
LS how did you stay sober for 6 years? What were some of the tools you used then? What's different this time? Stay strong, you can get through this day.

Last night was hard for me; we went out to dinner with a friend. He ordered a bottle of wine and the waitress brought out 3glasses even though I said I didn't need one. She very innocently said "just in case you'd like to try a little sip." At first I thought hell yeah, I'd like a big ol swig but then I thought that swig will never be big enough. I was sad for a few moments but i held on and after about 10 minutes It passed. I realized that happy high would've been so short lived for me befor I would obsess about how much was in my glass and how I could pour myself some more without hogging it all. I did take notice of other diners enjoying their wine and It kind of made me feel hopeful but I know I can't let that thought take over. We had a delicious dinner and once again I stuffed myself past any craving.
Ugh.

Have a great day everyone.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Kensho - I know that feeling and that vacation well. Everybody convenes, pours a drink and the fun begins! I started by participating in the silliness, even when I wasn't as moved as I had been when drinking. As I have told my husband, silly, fun Pav is still in there, just sometimes I need an extra nudge to get over the social awareness that a drink can get rid of automatically. Now I don't need that nudge - I just join on in totally sober and silly. It was a relief to find that person in there - the REAL me who actually IS fun and social without alcohol. I know we keep saying it, but time, time, time.

Londoner - You're young as I remember. Try looking online (Bored Panda recently) for before/after pictures of sober people. Maybe your youthful vanity will help as well - there is no denying that EVERYONE looked better in their "after" pictures.

Lost Soul - I think your post calls for a dose of Serenity Prayer. One day at a time... No use worrying about whether this quit will stick because you don't have a pregnancy. You don't drink. Period. And you will look at that in daily (hourly?) chunks as needed. No use fretting about what you might feel down the road. You can prepare for it by staying sober TODAY, and by following the advice of successful sober people.

AND, a case of a community helping out... I need that advice I just gave Lost Soul. Even though I was brave about it yesterday, I am anxious to go to the In Laws tomorrow. I will meditate this morning, get some exercise, and repeat my mantra - I can't change what other people say or do, just my reaction to them...

Byrdie - I want a picture of that cake!

Happy Hump Day,
Pav

[abcowboy]

Howdy ho Nesters! It’s nice to see so much activity going on in the Nest! People helping each other, just the way it’s supposed to be. I did a longer post in my thread about drinking thoughts that I had on Monday and I was reminded about something Byrdie said that has stuck with me when things got rough; “even normal drinkers have bad days”!

I enjoy coming to the Nest and reading the posts because you just never know when someone will say something that will stick out in your mind and help you through when the going gets rough, just like Byrdie has done for me.

Quitting drinking won’t make all our problems go away, sometimes life sucks and that’s just the way it is. We just have to remind ourselves that if we continue to drink, the problems will just get worse. Have a great day everyone, don’t drink today, and don’t ever quit on your quit!

[scottish lass]

Hi all - Min, good to see you again. Daisy - hang in there. Feeling like old days here, but with some great new friends!

LS - I know how you feel - I got a good year plus in and some other decent stretches (nowhere close to what you achieved) - but have returned. Luckily I have not got back to my old ways, and have managed to slow drinking really far down, but still not where I wanted to be and really worried that the 'moderate' drinking I was doing would end up taking me all the way back. Hopefully I can nail this.

Finished shopping for tomorrow - got in nice and early, but really tempted! So many good offers (and being the Scot I am, hard to pass a good offer). I do believe I will succeed and stay af - and know that I want to, so I will just have to get on and do it - right!

The nest is feeling truly supportive just now, just as it should be during tougher times.

[Byrdlady]

Ended up working all morning! UGG!
Finished my cake, got the chairs out and dusted, the folding tables out and cleaned. I think we are ready!
Thank you for the kind words, Cowboy. One phrase that stuck with me (and still does) is 'What good will one drink do for me?' ZIP is what. As far as AL goes, there is no glamour in it for me....seeing a 50-something drunk isnt romantic, its sad and pathetic! I try to keep those images front and center.
Londoner, when I was in college, I felt sorry for myself that I had to study on weekend nights. It seemed like my roommate and suitemates were partying all the time and there I was stuck in the library studying. Upon closer inspection, everyone WAS NOT out every weekend, that was just my perception. When we look at this thing from a deprivation point of view it is easy to get down BUT, if you look at it as if you treating yourself to the best possible gift you could give YOU, it looks a little different. You are giving yourself the gift of LIFE! It dont get much bedda dan dat! Hugs to you!
Sis and BIL are on their way so I hope my house is clean enough. I told her if she finds dirt she is welcome to grab a rag and clean it up! BAH!! Hugs to all and Happy Thanksgiving!IMG_2531.jpg

[j-vo]

Pauly, I'm the same. I get to the point where it doesn't matter. Nothing matters and I drink. I need to write down what a mess I am after I just let go and drink. It isn't pretty. And what Byrdy said, a 50 something drunk isn't romantic, it's pathetic.

Kensho, you had a lot of great points in your post. One that I know, that I need to be reminded of is that it is only an hour of that 'good' feeling and the rest is crap. The same night, the day after.

I've spent the past two hours bs-ing with neighbors. They are really cute and have such a good attitude about life. I can definitely learn from them. Dad and I have run into lots of stuff from both his TV's not working, to wifi copping out on us, to the screen door broken, to the ice machine in the refrigerator not working. We've gotten a lot resolved, but the good neighbors have helped.

Have a good night.

[madonmehndi]

Hiya fellow nesters, just a quick post as I am on my way to bed!

Byrdie your cake is beautiful!!!

Had a good day, enjoyed my AA meeting but didn't feel brave enough to share as it was a busy one, am goiing to go again next week so I may pluck up courage then! Not had any cravings today but have felt really emotional this evening, not really sure why?! I have just finished watching Rain in my heart documentary which is very sad but a very good watch! Hope everyone has had a good day, nighty night x

[daisy45]

Great posts today.....love a full nest and so many oldies back.
Doing good.....since posting yesterday I have 1 gym and 2 swims done.....hopefully tire me out and sort out sleeping.
Went shopping for some good food tonight which means a cooking day soon. I
Ike to cook and freeze portions. Kind of defeated the purpose as I was back so late from shopping that I couldn't be bothered cooking and we got Chinese! Ah well....
Hope we all wake up to a great tomorrow! X

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like everyone has had a pretty good Hump day
Mine was busy, filled with lots of things to do so I am grateful it's all done now.

I remember being super cautious & somewhat afraid during my first few AF holidays. Turned out I really didn't need to worry, everything went very well. The primary reason for that is because I had decided, once & for all that I was no longer a drinker! A firm decision & promise I made to myself was all I really needed. I wanted to be happy & proud of myself more than I wanted to continue to drink. Feel free to try my method

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Nursie]

Hello comfy nest!
I've been reflecting a lot this week. My spirits are back up due to a tremendous amount of work. I have to maintain that level of work so that I can continue to do well and feel this good! Tonight, the eve of Thanksgiving, brings back a lot of memories of drinking past. It's a big night for drinking and cooking, friends getting together, everyone getting in the spirit.
As I was shopping for last minute ingredients, I was extremely aware of that spark in the air that says what a great night to drink!
Instead, I got some great non-al drinks. Did you know there is purple ginger ale? Grape! Who knew? I LOVE it and it looks so gorgeous in my glass. I made a beautiful Vidalia onion souffle for tomorrow and straightened the kitchen, finished laundry, and generally did things that most grown adults are able to do while sober. So I'm officially out of my slump!

I'm going to be in the moment tomorrow with my family and loved ones. Nothing can ruin that for me.
Byrdie, I even started baking again! Not as good as your beautiful cake, but it was nice to start doing something I love again! My husband was so happy.
Good night everyone and sweet dreams!

[Nursie]

I found my post that I ghought I lost! Yes!!
Here it is:


I am crawling out of the pits of death, Cancer, grief, and addiction. I am climbing higher and higher. The air is nice up here. My family is so happy. Everyone has a sense of calm that they haven't had in some time. My last drunk was my worst drunk ever and I am glad it is behind me. I think all of my drunk behaviors and episodes will always hurt a bit. They must, or I would feel like "researching" (drinking) again to see if I could miraculously control it.
I am no longer stuck in the swinging pendulum. I do believe I am finally going to make it.
I do believe that everyone can have sobriety and a happy life. I do believe that it takes some people more tries than others. But I pray that we can all live in sobriety peace and safety before anything worse happens because of our drinking.

[mario]

Good morning nesters, All as good as acan be here, Few personal problems at home but nothing I cant or wont get through, And I can only do that by staying the sobriety path I have chosen and to work the tools that work for me. Its great seeing the nest bursting open, We all can relate to one another as the root cause of all our problems is our addiction, So it gives me great strength to read here every morning and set me on my day. have a positive pleasant day and remember it does get better.

[mario]

No more fog



Today i no longer keep myself in a fog of alcohol to protect myself from my own painful feelings.
In my fog i was unable to get things done, I was usually late,
I had trouble making decisions and moving on with my life.

In my fog, I did not have clear answers to questions and did not really know what i was feeling, I found it hard to be straight with other people and ask for what i wanted.

Since we have been willing to move towards recovery, we discover our buried feelings and the fog is beginning to clear.
It will be hard to experience feelings that we haven't felt in a long time but it will be worth it to have my self and my life back, begin slowly to enjoy this life again.

We will discover that this can only be done with the help and support of others.

Thank you all.