Newbies Nest

[abcowboy]

My heart goes out to you J, you've had a tough row to hoe these past weeks and it's not hard to comprehend what happened to your quit. Well, take a look at your join date, what does it tell you?

It tells me something I already know, this is one of the hardest things any of us can ever do! You're not alone on the try and try again merry-go-round. It also tells me you're not a quitter, you never have been, because you keep coming back, you keep trying! That's all any of us can do till we find the quit that sticks. And you'll find yours as well because I know you won't give up till you do!

Get whatever help you think you need, add to your plan, change your plan, do whatever it takes. You're a remarkable woman and I know you won't give up, you can do this if you never give up!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Black Friday is over, didn't bother shopping & that's just as well.

J-vo, I am sorry you have had such a hard time. Just take care of yourself & your Dad & do the best you can. Jump back on board with us tomorrow, OK? :hug:

It's not freezing outside but I feel cold anyway. Must be getting old, ha ha!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.

Lav

[Nursie]

Hello!
J-Vo- I'm sorry friend. I was stuck in that rut for far too long. Grieving my brother and my mother almost did me in. I am in therapy to deal with their tragic deaths, my cancer, and whatever other issues I used to drink about.
I drank about cooking and cleaning too. Any project I had to do. Drank about problems and drank about successes.
You guys know something? Even in the dark hell of addiction and grief I was still mostly put together for outsiders. I still have a great job and family. But now I say "Watch out!" Because if I was still functioning somewhat in he world while I was drinking, wait till they see me sober! Ha!
Byrdie, thank you so much! I will post it in the tool box. Xoxo

Thanksgiving happened and I was sober.
It was wonderful except for a few stories told that involved my drunk shenanigans. It stings to hear those stories. And those aren't even the bad ones! Ouch.
Then today I did a little shopping with my brother. I did not drink. (Anyone who knows me knows this has never happened before!) I ordered ginger ale with cherries. Soo good. And the world didn't end. Lunch was great and we really did have just as much fun as we always do. More so I think!
Ahh and the Laze....I am so good at the laze! I also noticed that I get in a funk when I let that happen too much. I think I have forgotten how not to lay around a lot. But I am not hungover anymore, not sick anymore, so I have to learn to keep myself upright! Even just cleaning out a drawer, or folding clothes makes me feel better.
Podcasts- teach me! I love to listen to stuff when I'm doing chores. Do you have to subscribe or sign up? Are they on the Google? Hahaha
Ok I'm going to read up a little and then head to bed.
Have a great night nest!

[Roobs]

Hi nesters,

J-Vo, don't go. Stay here and keep posting. Go find a meeting if you need to. Try not to hate yourself, you'll get through this day and we'll be here. Please be kind to yourself.

Madon, good job on staying busy, I sorry you weren't able to find a meeting in a time of need but it sounds like you managed to det through a rough patch.

Nursie, you are so right; EVERY occasion whether it be happy, bored, irritated, sad, hungry, tired, whatever it was always an exuse for me to drink.

I did something I never do today, I actually went Black Friday shopping. My youngest and I hit the mall at 8 am. It was easy parking, light foot traffic, no lines in the store, happy people, I was happy. We managed to buy a few things and get out of there at a reasonable hour of 10 am. THEN, we went horseback riding. It was an amazing day with my daughter and absolutely no hangover. Yay.

Good night all.
Roobs

[available]

Afternoon nesters

J, al is fecked and as i have read over and over and over again if you can be and get sober you are classified as one of the lucky ones. The positive is you realise you are an alcoholic and you do want to be sober so outside help may well be what you need as a tool for your sobriety. As i will tell people when they ask how i gave up drinking i tell them i am extremely lucky and grateful. I dont know what made this quit stick. I know i was over being who i was drunk, i knew i wanted to not drink more than anything in this world, i knew it was killing me and i also knew if i could not do it the last time i would ask for any help possible. Something clicked and has stayed that way, i am no better than you or anyone else, i am just plain and simply lucky to have been strong enough to stop. I focused my whole life on getting sober, my life revolved on keeping sober whilst living it. Now i live my life and it still revolves around me being sober but it is now more about just living life as best as possible. I am still scared i will drink sometimes but after near on 3 years i have the tools to not drink. You need to gather those tools and use them, you need to know that avoiding situations where al is around you dont go to, this is about your life J and it is so worth the time and effort. Yes you feel ashamed and guilty and i tell you if i could bottle the strength,courage and resilience it took me to stop i would hand it to you with love but sadly i cant. Dont leave here, we are all still here to support you and we all care. You will make your mum proud but mostly you will make you proud and in a year this will be a memory.

had a lovely day going to an art gallery and doing some shopping. One twin was up most of the night with a stomach bug. Oh the memories of being woken up to vomit through the bed. Mmm vomit was never one of my strong points but when he cuddled me and told me he loved me, all the vomit in the world was made up with those words.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Ah Jvo. :hug:

We get it buddy. Let us know what your up to with a check in soon will you?

[mario]

Morning nesters

J-vo, Don't give up please ,You had a fall, its not the end of the world, we all have/had them pick yourself up and march on , You have great support and friend's here & you deserve to give yourself a chance. Learn from where you went wrong start again.

Madon the irony of this illness is that we learn so much from others who are still suffering if we want to, Sorry your meetings where bad experience for you, I have been at a few mad ones myself over the years where you will go wtf am I doing here. Just learn from it and give them a miss.

Some of us have learned the hard way & to learn the truth in our goal to stop this addiction, and taken very hard knocks in the process, For me the facts are that I would never stop drinking if I place dependence upon other people, It has to come from within yourself, that is where the strength is...have a great day and as abcowboy has said in another post

"A child learns to walk and falls down 50 times. He never thinks to himself, “maybe this isn’t for me?”...

__________________

[madonmehndi]

J-vo, we have all been there and done that and you have been through so much lately don't beat yourself up, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the wagon, never quit quitting, we are all here for you and we all understand xxxx

[Lost Soul]

J Vo, you may drink but being an alky is not who you are, it is not what defines you - you are so much more. I am so sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. Am thinking of you at this difficult time xx

[madonmehndi]

Morning nesters

Madon the irony of this illness is that we learn so much from others who are still suffering if we want to, Sorry your meetings where bad experience for you, I have been at a few mad ones myself over the years where you will go wtf am I doing here. Just learn from it and give them a miss.

Some of us have learned the hard way & to learn the truth in our goal to stop this addiction, and taken very hard knocks in the process, For me the facts are that I would never stop drinking if I place dependence upon other people, It has to come from within yourself, that is where the strength is...have a great day and as abcowboy has said in another post

"A child learns to walk and falls down 50 times. He never thinks to himself, “maybe this isn’t for me?”...

__________________

Thanks for that Mario, wise words as usual, going to start calling you Owlio instead of Mario LOL, the meetings weren't bad, they just weren't on! At the Smart one the caretaker said the facilitator hadn't been there for 4 weeks and no-one turned up at the AA one! I am going to try out an evening one nearer to where I live I think, just got to decide which one! I am also of the opinion much of my determination and strength to quit HAS to come from within, think that is why I am not 100% sure about AA, the giving myself up to a higher power is something that doesn't really gel with me at the moment!

[NoSugar]

I know that i cannot drink, should not drink, and that's a big difference from all the times I fell off the wagon and insisted I could drink moderately. I have no false hopes of that. At all. I'm an alky, and I need sobriety or else I'm gonna die. Plain and simple. I'm sorry I let you all down, and mostly I'm sorry I let myself down. And my mom.

That difference makes all the difference, J. So unlike before, there's no reason to leave the nest. This is a great place to get the support we all need. If you add a counselor or a meeting to your program, all the better! You want this and you can do it. You aren't different than anyone who has. xx, NS

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters, been thinking of you J-vo and tbh I don't know what I'd do if someone I loved so much had passed recently, so many emotions and sadness, plus watching your dad dealing with the loss,it would be a lot to handle, maybe too much for me,it's something that we'll all have to deal with someday but I just don't like to think of it, sadly you're going through it please check in and talk with us,we're here for you and we understand, you have a lot of people here on your side, thinking of you hon, hope everyone has a nice AF day

[Byrdlady]

Jvo, I hope you are feeling better today. Stick with us! Why on earth would you stay away from a site built BY alcoholics FOR alcoholics? You cant think we have anything but empathy for you...all of us have walked in those same shoes! Shame is a big part of this disease and it sucks. Recovery is different for all of us, but I can say this with conviction...do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. Find an addiction counselor and get the help you need. There is no shame in getting help. None of us could do this alone. I was amazed at the burden that was lifted when I surrendered to the fact that AL has no place in my LIFE. It does have a place in my death. That's what it boiled down to. Do whatever it takes. We will be here to support you! Byrdie

[Pavati]

J-Vo:

I was reading today about the newer science of addiction - myths associated with getting sober. If willpower alone was enough to stop, there would be no addicts. No one WANTS to drink instead of engaging with their children. No one WANTS to spend all day looking for their next fix. If MWO isn't enough - and it wasn't for me - taking a step to get help in another way is not a failure. It is all part of getting adequate treatment for a disease you have. There is no moral failing, no objective not wanting it enough. Drinking does not undo all of the non drinking you've done.

Don't beat yourself up. Get the help you need from where you need it. Continue to use us as your sober community, continue to get back up on that horse. The true, sober J-Vo is in there somewhere. We just need to help her with more tools.

xo
Pav

[Struggles 106]

Hey J- at 41 days I'm no one to give advice, except to say don't quit quitting!
Stay here! I have done this destructive song and dance many many times-
Don't give up, please.

Out for a walk this morning-beautiful day here in NC. Invited last night to dinner at a friend's house, where we usually drink wine. I hesitated to go, but I went and had a great dinner and flavored water. Laughter and good companionship. It's sinking in that drinking enhances NOTHING.

Also-I've been watching some stuff on you tube, including re-watching Rain in my Heart.
There's a sober guy who posts episodes of Dr G ( medical examiner) that have cause of death results of addiction. Last night I watched one where a 49 y o woman was found sitting on her couch covered in blood, dead. Large gash on forehead. As it turns out her liver was enlarged and fatty (drinking of course) BAC so fomething like .2, also atrophy of the cerebellum, all from drinking. She fell against the hearth and managed to get to the couch.
To hell with this fate--I ain't going there.

I want to say that my last episode that scared me so much was 41 days ago, and involved the possibility of burning down the house with my daughter and granddaughter in it asleep.
Through some sort of grace this did not happen. I am done; I have no right to continue this.
Life is so good sober.

Thanks to all of you

Ann C