Newbies Nest

[mario]

Good morning nesters.

Lc changing ones life again is a stressful ordeal, I have gone through a few changes since I first got on this sobriety road, Going through another one at the moment & knowing its the right decision does not make it easier on the mind. Its good you dropped back in as its good to talk.

The main thoughts & work I need to remember is I would not have the mental strength I do now have thanks to my sobriety & all the problems we go through, which sometimes never seem to stop, We can deal with them from a position of strength & not behind a false drama queen of emotional drunkenness.

Have a great day one & all I of to a CA meeting this morning.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters.
Pav, I am having a sense of dread, also, about work tomorrow. Im trying to enjoy today and not think about the huge piles of work in there. If I knew how to do it all, it wouldnt be so bad, but I have to ask someone how to do all these things. No two days are the same. Im sure I have learned a lot, but there is so much more to know. Ill be glad when I can get thru a day without having to ask somebody.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters, wonderful posts from everyone not much to say just a hello, off to the grocery store, bleh, gotta be the worst chore invented besides cleaning! Wishing everyone a safe, sober, Sunday

[wagmor]

Morning everyone - sorry I haven't been around much to offer support over the past 2 weeks. Life suddenly got overwhelming with both good/exciting and difficult/stressful situations and I've just been trying to get through each day. No drinking though - that hasn't even crossed my mind as an option. Although, I did find myself thinking about the upcoming new year holidays and how it might be nice to celebrate with just a few drinks on that one occasion. Glad this popped up now so I can plan differently and find ways to "celebrate" that are healthy and positive - no drinks!

Jvo, SL and LC - Sorry to hear of your recent challenges as well. I know that short sentence doesn't come anywhere near capturing the nuances and layers of what you are each going through, and at times like these I feel like words sometimes fail. Your posts each evoked deep feelings of sympathy and empathy in me, probably in many of us. Stay strong and continue to take care of yourselves. Please keep coming here for support. Lots of great folks here who will not judge, but just want to wrap you up with hugs and strength. I'll try to be around more to lend a few more feathers.

Kensho - great job with not drinking, even when it sounds like others were. Will stay tuned for details re your recent situation if you decide to share here. And yes, up at 3am to catch a flight is added stress and exhaustion that none of us needs!

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,
My goodness, so much going on here and so much I can relate to.

SL, you bring front and center the reality of a simple offer of wine can Throw you off course or Nursie taking a left instead of taking a right. I get it, I think we all get it and have done it. Many of my slips have been in a single unguarded instant. I don't want to fight so damn hard all the time so this time I'm trying to put it out there that I have quit drinking, shamelessly not shamefully. lets do this together.
Life change, an appropriate name for your current situation. Everyday you don't drink is another notch in the confidence and self love belt.

Lav, I love hanging out with the furry ones, it's my preferred crowd these days. I'm thinking of getting another dog. My husband shakes his head when I mention a new dog but secretly I think he's on board, at least that's what I'm sticking with.

Happy Sunday all, day 13 for me.

[Struggles 106]

Good afternoon on a beautiful Sunday!
Getting ready for a walk in the sunshine, then more cleaning while my girls are gone.

I watched a Ted Talk by a woman in recovery, mainly about Naltrexone and how it works.
It was interesting, but I started thinking about labels as she spoke.
She apparently does not say "alcoholic" but instead says AUD- alcohol abuse disorder.
Maybe you guys have heard of this.
My thinking is that labels are not helpful. To me it is simple-there are people who can drink and those who cannot, without serious consequences. My friend at dinner the other night had a couple of glasses of wine, and when her husband picked up her glass as he was clearing the table she said go ahead and take it, I'm done. Hahahaha- NO WAY that I would do that.
And that is the difference. Drinking + me = madness.
No 2 ways about it
Day 42

Ann Carolina

[paulywogg]

Roobs,I kinda want another dog too,this weekend the animal shelter is waving all adoption fees so it's very tempting but I'd hate to get a new animal right now cuz of the Christmas stress I already have, getting the dog settled, used to the doggie door,Winslow getting used to a new friend, etc think I'll just wait, drama at Target this morning, I had a full cart and when I went to pay my card wouldn't work! Seems I had grabbed the old one instead of the one with the chip,so I asked her to please hold my stuff and I'll go grab the other card,she said sure but don't rush ,I don't want you to get in a wreck haha,luckily I live right across the street so after digging through a few purses I found it, yippie!

[paulywogg]

X-post Ann,this is embarrassing but back in the day I was the last to leave the table after get togethers or dinner out with peeps,as everyone was getting their stuff together I'd chug whatever was left in their glasses!! How gross is that?congrats on 42 days!!

[Guitarista]

Yo Pauly and nesters near and not so far.

Booze is a prison. A frustrating freedom munching personal prison i tells yiz. Fat, skinny, red, bloated, malnourished, puffy and in chains. What the?!! Goodbye booze and hello self lovin'!

Day 107 but who, i say who's countin'. think positive and have a bewdy.

[actiongirl46]

Hey all, back again for yet another try. Feeling very down today. I will read back later today. This has GOT to stop. Sigh.

[Struggles 106]

Hang in there action girl!
And thanks Pauly-I did that too. Some friends threw a "wine party" since the husband had been to a winery in upstate NY. I was literally scrounging through their fridge for MORE, of course after drinking a LOT. So sad. One of these days I want to,apologize to my husband for being such an embarrassment. That was years ago but he put up with crap like that for years. I would have left me way sooner than he did LOL

Had my walk, doing some cleaning, getting ready for my girls to be home tomorrow.

Peace to all

Ann Carolina

[NoSugar]

Like I won't die of fear. And I need you all. I need to be here. I realized during this time that the only thing I really have is my sobriety. It is the one thing that assures my sanity. If I decide to drink it will bring me so far down I might not be able to get back up. This I KNOW! Been there, done that. Nothing makes me feel more sad or helpless/hopeless/terrified/panicked than drinking on top of these feelings. I just wish my meditation practice would kick in to work.. and the 3P's haven't helped either at this point.

LC, it sounds like you are going through a really difficult time. I'm so glad for you that you aren't drinking. It is hard to even imagine what all the fall-out would be if that were going on, too.

It is really hard to escape the thoughts crashing through your head! And it is almost impossible to change those thoughts and the feelings that accompany them. The best you can probably do is to try not to rehash the same thing over and over. Let those unproductive thoughts come and go, giving them as little attention as you possibly can. The quieter and calmer you can be, the more likely you'll get some new, fresh ideas about how to handle the situation. If a thought makes you feel a little better or lighter, follow that one! Your feelings show you the direction to go. xx, NS

[scottish lass]

Hi all - day 2 is so much better than day 1 for sure! I am relieved that I stop at one day - in the past I would say to heck with it, I have blown it so I might as well make the most of it.

Pav - I know you are so right, that was the discussion that I was trying to have with my daughter, that both sides of the fence have their good and their bad...

LC - big hugs....

AG - hi, join us in the starting over again group - we are going to make this work.....we have to!

Happy Sunday - aiming to have no more red dots on my calendar....

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

I had the 'pleasure' of driving my husband to the ER this morning with symptoms of appendicitis. My Dx was correct & he's in the OR now. I came home to take care if the many animals in my life & give my brain a rest. I'll go back to check on him in a little while.
These are the times that we really need to have a clear head & do what needs to be done

LC, good to see you & I hope you stay close to the nest. We are all going to be OK!

AG, welcome back. Get your plan together & stick close to the nest as well! You can do this & we are here to help.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF rest of the day!

Lav

[lifechange]

Hi again, Nesters..
it's been a pretty good day here. I feel a bit more centered and am trying not to dwell on those hurtful thoughts (thank you, NS). I also realized that in this situation I need to stop worrying about trying to be supportive and focus on myself. I'm being a bit left in the lurch in the end so I guess it's ok for me to stop helping him figure out his stuff and work on figuring out my own. To be honest, he'll probably be relieved. It's just so hard to completely let go. But I do have things to plan and am moving into a space I've lived in before in a neighbourhood I like. Thank you all for the support. I've warned all my friends here that I might be quite needy the next couple of months.. the move is in Feb.

Action Girl, it's good to see you back here. I know it's difficult but try not to be too down on yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get through today. You know you will start to feel better and more hopeful after just a couple of days and then you can work on your plan of action. You definitely CAN do this.:hug:

SL, so glad you're feeling better today. You have the right attitude for sure.. we learn and grow stronger when we are able to look at our actions and be very honest with ourselves and with what's happened.. and that's what you've done..Changing patterns..

Lav, I hope your Husband will be feeling better soon. I think I remember being in bed for quite a few days after that surgery. You are so right about the importance of having a clear mind!

I think I have to go to bed now so that I'll have a clear mind in the morning! I can barely keep my eyes open.
Love to you all!