Newbies Nest

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,

Feeling good on the start of day 16.
Nurse, it's funny you mentioned the rushing through everything to get to the drink and how everyone can relate to it. I d rush trough everything, feeling so self-important and impatient just to get to that drink. Somehow I always thought I would sit down, relax and "enjoy" that glass of wine but that never happened. I only ever rushed through the glass of wine to get to the next one and the next one and so on.

Lav, I hope your hubby feels better today. What an ordeal. Imagine if you had been drinking through this, what a mess you would be but instead you sound clam and capable of handling anything. Although I don't mean to minimize the fact that it is still very stressful.
Avail, I have some sort of auto-immune deficiency that I have been battling for several years. What I have found is that the immune system problems are so vast and varied that often times they can't put a "label" on what you may have but hopefully they can find a solution that will tell your body not to attack itself. That's what happened to me, I've taken a very benign anti malaria drug that has helped tell my body to calm down. I'm due for blood tests to see how it's going but the problem is we switched insurances and my dr. No longer takes our insurance. Ugh, I may just payout of pocket. $$$

Off to work I go, have a great day everyone.

[Struggles 106]

Good morning all-
As a lot of us do I read a lot about addiction, and like NS I like knowing the science, the whys etc. to a point. I don't obsess over it. I've boiled it down to simply people who can drink, and those of us who cannot. And since I cannot, I accept that and know for sure I'm not missing a damn thing. Too much has been missed already.
I do wonder though why some people who get in serious trouble with alcohol do so I say, 6 years, and then there are people who manage it for 30 or 40 years. I guess by "manage" I mean survive.
I've always mentioned the man my sister lives with. It's astonishing to me that his body still tolerates his punishing drinking regimen for many years. She has watched the deterioration and is co- dependent ...just sad. As for lethal levels of BAC, I would think he is in real danger. People have survived .3, .4, but many have not. I worry about her reaction when he dies, which seems to me is possible any time. But I've thought that for years so who knows?
I will never be seen staggering,slurring, drunk ever again.
I know it's one day at a time and I'm really staying aware of triggers, tools etc. but at the one year mark? I'm going to splurge on something just for me.

Thanks to all

Ann Carolina

[actiongirl46]

Hi all! Checking in . . . I too appreciate not having the "busy" mind! Great posts

Lav, I hope your hubby heals quickly. Thinking of you guys and sending good vibes your way today . . .

[NoSugar]

I also was always so rushed with a busy mind, too. I think I had to accomplish so much to prove (to myself?) that I was fine and that my drinking was not a problem. Other people thought it was amazing how much I got done and that just spurred me on. It became a vicious cycle - after all I did between 8 am and 4 pm and with all the things I felt like I still needed to do swirling around in my brain, drinking brought the relief of escape and a quiet mind. But then I had to prove again that I really was ok by repeating the cycle the next day. A good thing to remember is that we are human beings, not human doings.

[KENSHO]

People used to say to me "I don't know how you do it," referring to my business and children. HOW, is that I would numb the pain every night instead of listening to myself and slowing down. I managed to build a career, which is paying off, but I didn't do it in a healthy way. I do find it harder to work harder now. And maybe that's how life should be. I'm kind of over stress. There are enough things that happen in life that we can't control - we should at least temper the things we can.

With the family drama going on with in-laws, I am ultra aware of the role alcohol is playing. I don't even know if MIL knows the things she said that night that were so hurtful. And I'm left in a weird situation. If I hadn't been a drinker, I would be cutting ties. But I actually understand her position. I don't agree with it obviously, but I know where she is coming from, and it is causing me to approach the situation differently. I know she will not respond to reason, so it doesn't do any good to try to have a rational discussion. Interesting how my perspective is different.

So much becomes clearer when we don't drink. Things make so much more sense, and I see things for what they really are. Alcohol really does "cloud" life - and we get hyper focused on just getting that drink. NOW, I approach life and its situations with clarity and generally good judgement. The challenge now is trying to figure out how to deal with those who are still in the throws of abusive drinking, because I know they are NOT clear, rational, solution-seeking, tempered, etc. It's hard to deal with and watch.

JVO, I agree that you were in a particularly difficult situation to quit drinking. Give yourself a hug and start again. You can do this.

[Nursie]

Ann! I'm so happy to see you!
Shamefully, I blew a .29 once. (I was not driving but the driver denied driving and they tested both of us). This was quite a few years ago but I still think about it. I believe I have drank way more than that on several more recent occasions when I switched to vodka because it was easier to hide. (No it wasn't duh). I can't imagine what my BAC went up to or how close I came to dying.

[scottish lass]

Morning - well it is here!

At work again, so short & sweet.

Had a mosquito in my room last night - kept me awake more than I needed, and I couldn't find the little bugger! It is grey and wet today - so all in all, I wish I was tucked up warm and cosy, but not to be so better go and get on with things!

[Guitarista]

Hiya nesters near and not so far.

Had a beautiful dream last night. A woman i fancy and i had a warm and fun convo last night in real life. Later i dreamed of her and we were holding hands and smiling. Not much else, that was it. Unfortunately we weren't naked!

Day 110. Keep up the gr8 work y'all. Living sober is rebellious, cool, and you know u wanna be it.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

G, that made me laugh. You'll be naked next time...

Kensho - sorry about your in laws. I have a somewhat bad situation with mine, too. Not so much hurtful as self centered, and believe me when I say I am LAST on the list of family members my FiL likes. What you say is so true, though. When I quit drinking I was able to see shades of grey in my interactions, and didn't let certain people or situations rile me up. I am not as quick to get triggered with anger or defensiveness - with the in laws, my husband, or anyone. Chalk up another benefit to quitting.

Lav - Sorry about your husband. Those hospital stays can be scary and tiring. I hope he gets home soon.

It is still Wednesday here, Ava. But when you wake up it will be Thursday and we will be celebrating THREE YEARS SOBER with you. I know Byrdie likes to wait until people check in but I can't wait. Just had to mention it.

Happy Hump Day, all.

Pav

[j-vo]

Rough day at the office...too many smart asses, not enough consequences for their actions, so what can I expect. I know, not a good attitude, but I get so frustrated with the crap in the classroom. I can't retire yet, but when I do, I'll be long into sobriety, and retirement will be the icing on that cake.

Ava and Pav, an early congratulations to you both! You've worked long and hard for your sobriety, and you both deserve all of the wonderful things being sober has given to you. I'm so happy for you. Ava, I hope whatever is going on with your immune system, they figure it out. I'll keep you close in my thoughts.

Nursie and G...I need some good dreams like you all!

Pav, I can't believe you would be at the bottom on anyone's list. I had issues with my MIL for years, that is, until she realized all the rotten things her daughter was putting in her head about me weren't true. But hey, time heals just about everything as we're finding out.

I know it's only day 1 but I'm ok regardless of having a crappy day. Drinking wasn't an option at the end of my day today, but napping sure was and certainly helped. Eating did, too. Oh, holding the couch down and refusing to do anything productive this evening...that's my kind of evening after a day like I had. Three cookies helped, too.

Have a good night.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,

Hope everyone is well x I'm (fingers crossed) feeling less tired & just as well - End of term with the kids is a busy time with Christmas Nativity plays, Carol Services & Christmas fairs. There is also some nice events on locally so looking forward to the next few weeks ☺

Action girl & Scottish Lass, good to see you both! (Waves!)
Hi Daisy, haven't seen you around in a little while, hope everything is ok?
Lav, sorry hubs is still in hospital - although I think it reflects hes getting good care if the staff want to make sure he's 100% before discharging him? Thinking of you both
G, there is fewer nicer places to be than where you are now ☺ 110 days too - sweet!
Byrdie, I LOVE getting those 'organisey' jobs done & I wholeheartedly agree, '1 month, 1 year, 5 years, - it does get easier... but checking in & staying dedicated to our sobriety (in whatever manner we choose) is very important - silly me let the 'alky' out & have to redo the tough bit again, no use crying over spilt milk however, Just have to get it done!
Nursie - always such a pleasure to read your upbeat posts on how your finding sobriety - super job on say 25 ☺
Roobs, was the nasty thread on MWOF? I stumbled across the research thread. Just weird. But I recommend the Long Term Abstainers section. There's only about 22 pages... but there is so much positivity & helpful insight. Also our Mario has written a number of very good articles there (Thank you! )
LC, hope you had a nice relaxing day with the girls ☺
Kensho, really like how you describe the clarity that comes with sobriety, I'm (hopefully) beginning to get there!
Ann, I agree a 1 year splurge is a good idea - have you anything in mind? I'd do a 'spa day' with a full body massage (if I could afford it, haha!)
J VO, great to hear you so determined & hope having your routine helps x
Ava, - I hope your tests go well & a massive congratulations to both you & Pav on your 3 YEARS! So pleased for you both x
Pauly,Vervill,MADONNA,ThirdTimesACharm,NS, Listening to everyone's personal experiences, although unique to everyone, a sense of freedom & gratitude is shared by all - thank you so very much ☺
Wishing all a safe & sober Wednesday/Thursday
LS

[Byrdlady]

Nesters, please join me in congratulating our very own Available for THREE BIG YEARS! Did you ever!?? Measuring in years never gets old! This is a rightous accompkishment and you have done it in spite of grief, hardship, broken kids, broken animals, dragon mothers and dud dudes! I hope you are as proud of yourself as we are.
Speech!!!
Thank you for ALL you do around here! You are a big part of why MWO works! Keep up the great work and know how much we love and respect you! Well done! :fairy:
PP2

[Struggles 106]

Three years is so great! Congratulations!
I have never had a year sober,ever. To be honest I'm not sure about my longest sober time.
I know it was no more than 10 months,if that.
I'm so glad to be back here with plans,tools and friends. I went back and forth about drinking the last time,and decided to do it. I'm good so far but I know a time will come when I waver. I intend to use everything I know to stay sober. Feeling like I'm ok just the way I am is a big part of it and I'm working on it.
Hey to you Nursie-good to see you too!
I missed all you guys. I guess I missed a lot, and certainly dodged a bullet or three.
No more living on the edge of sure disaster. So grateful to have lived through all of it.
Miraculous.

Thanks everyone

Ann C

[paulywogg]

Congrats on 3 years Ava you must be thrilled,I know we areAnn,my longest stretch is nearly 5 months and I still don't know why I chose to break my streak,nothing really triggered me,just pure idiocy in my opinion but I've learned a lot about myself in these past few months so I feel better prepared now, just got the dishes done,journaled a bit,sitting here bored,I never get bored! I think these past two nights not having to watch Louie(grandson) has made me not know what to do with myself, plus hubs watches the dumbest things on tv,bleh,should be wrapping presents but I'm out of scotch tape and it's too cold(for me) to go get some,hope everyone is having a nice day/night wherever you are

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Well, husband was not discharged today but (so far) tomorrow is looking good
What a week, geez!!

Ava CONGRATS to you on 3 AF years, :yay:
I hope you can figure out what's going on with you. You deserve to enjoy a healthy & happy future!

Thanks everyone for the well wishes, I appreciate all of them & all of you.
This tired Lav is going to try to get some decent sleep tonight. Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav