Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Great points NS. Two very different people (both lovely I say) with different backgrounds and approaches to sobriety. I'm glad you said that because sometimes I feel, "Oh jeez! I'm not gonna make it because I'm not meditating, or not doing this or that!" I know what sobriety and life for me as a sober person looks like in my head, and it may be different from what others think it is for them. Actually, I feel as though it's the life you really want to live, the life we've always wanted to live. Maybe it's one change for some people, getting rid of the alcohol (well, the biggest and most important change for all of us), but maybe changing two or three things is what will make us happy. Maybe some of us need or want more changes. But that's the beauty of sobriety. It's our own paths, and we as individuals will all have a different path and each of our sober lives will look unique. I have a vision in my head of what my sober life will look like. I actually get really excited to think I could even have that life, be that person. It's wierd, I guess, to think that it's always been in me, but I never could be that person because of one thing...poison. Now I need to stay focused on where I want to go, but it's tricky. I know we can't do everything at once, as this all takes times, and shit, I'm impatient. But I've been this way, the same shameful me, the person I don't like for so long, I must take it one day at a time, to feel the changes taking place within. We all have it. I've seen so many successes here, and I need to keep looking at the positive evidence of what happens just one day at a time.

[Guitarista]

Doing what we love and building self esteem daily Ms. Jvo! :happy2:

At least this is my plan.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to report my husband was released from the hospital today. Still feeling kinda crappy & has no appetite (highly unusual for him) but on the mend nevertheless

Pav, CONGRATS to you on your 3 years AF :welldone:
We all have to find our own way & I am grateful you did!

j-vo, that one day at a time thing really took the pressure off me when I was just beginning. I can't say that I really understood the thinking but I accepted it anyway & it did the trick

Wishing absolutely everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

The dear P-Ava Twins, wowzers! 3 big years! Just amazing! This Llama's for you! :llama:
Scottish, I am jealous of Lav, Mario, Jackie Clair and Techie's sober time! I guess that is only natural! Id have a full year longer if Id gotten my act togther when I first got here....AND I would have saved myself tremendous trouble and pain, but thats just not the way it happened. It is what it is. I am proud of what I DO have and look forward to more!
Kensho, you sound fantastic! Very proud of you as well!
Everyone sounds great!
One day at a time, its all we can do! Glad tomorrow is Friday! Byrdie

[Nursie]

Ava and Pav, huge congratulations to you both! So inspired by both of you over the years and I will continue to be inspired and motivated by you! I am so grateful for the long timers that stay on and help us. I want to be one of those people too.
Just a quick check in for me because I had a super long day.
Funny story though. My husband ordered something for his car, and in the package they included a free koozie with he logo on it. (Koozie is the thing that keeps a can of beer cold).
So he said "I've never used one of these" and I said "hmph, I never needed one! I never let a beer set long enough to get warm so I never understood them". He said "honey I am so happy to have my wife back!" And we ate beef stew. Because I love to cook and have learned that I really don't need the bottle of wine to cook dinner. I thought that would be the hardest thing, but I drink my tea and I feel more happy than with a stupid buzz that turns into a shit show after an hour!
Working up to that 30 day mark!
Have a great night everyone! I hope no naked dreams tonight!! Haha
It's the little things!

[available]

Evening nesters

so glad it is friday, work is getting more frantic as it gets closer to xmas but a week off in a couple of weeks so i am happy.

Pauly i am with you about the romance of drinking. I had a great love affair with me and a wine bottle but no lasting love thank god. i remember looking at people on tv thinking "i could be like that if i tried". I was more like the old wobbly drunk in pubs who runs into walls and falls over in his own vomit, hits his head and passes out.

NS that was a very exact description of Pav and I. Conservative Pav, listening, reading and learning and then me like the little kid in a lolly shop, going full on, wanting it all in one day and being told to slow down and slow and steady wins the race. And yes i dont care who knows, if i can help one person think "she did it, maybe i can" then great. Well i sure sound mature ha ha. No link opening for me even now.

G, go for the 200 days, it wont be long. Pav had a brilliant idea of 1000 days celebration and i thought she was dreaming or mad but she was right. Every day sober is a good day.

J i wanted it all when i stopped drinking and i was annoyed when that didnt happen but i instead got lots of anger, lots of sadness, lots of impatience, lots of good days, buckets of bad days and then a feeling of being a bit more awake, a bit more calmer, a bit more sensible and less wanting of al. If i could put you in my 3 year sober body (dont look in the mirror though) and you saw how much different time away from al makes us feel then all that you feel now (the anxiety etc) would not bother you as much as life is amazing, and you would want to get there in your own time. Someone said to me that being sober isnt a race, its a journey and they were right.

So glad Lav that hubs is home and doing ok. Remember yourself. x

Pav, when you read this you will be 3 years away from that massacre. Its been a pleasure and a total joy to have you beside me. When i log in and see you have posted i always have to read and make sure you are okay, even though i know you would never let yourself or me down. We both have a life now and a happy, pleasant and good one, we have shared a lot over those years as we log on and read about each others lives. We started off here in hell and we are now kind of normal. I am so proud of you on your three years. Much love to you my friend. xxxxx

Well i think the man has made dinner. Take care and thank you all again. x

[mario]

Good morning nesters
Lovely reading here the positive posts & folks getting there way out, Well done again to Available & pav, Something to be very proud of.

We go through some tough times to get to our goals, Sometimes we have to leave behind family's & people we love to get to where we want to be, Its like getting a new life everything changes & nothing is the same. But we know deep down its the right decision to do as our life's staying drinking was just a hell & for most of us where we went we left a destruction like a tornado behind us. Its great to see folks getting out it gives us all hope & encouragement.

[j-vo]

Good Friday Morning,

Lav, glad to hear your husband is home!

Ava, I know that it'll take time, and I almost wanna shut my eyes until I get there, to that feeling of freedom, but that wouldn't be fair to me as I would miss all the learning along the way. But still, wake me up in three years!

Mario, thank you for all of your wise words. I don't want the tornado anymore, the hell that drink gave me. Right now, it almost feels as though I kind of know what that good life is like because I've had sober time, but I really don't, as I didn't give myself enough time to really shake off some of the shit that takes years of continuous sober time. It's true, what they say. When you slip or relapse, your sober time hasn't been taken away, but you have to start all over, learn to walk again, ride the bike...

Have a good day.

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,

Boy I'm tired today but I slept really hard. No 3am dreadful wake up time, dry mouth, dry eyes and horrible self loathing. Nope just deep hard sleep.

Mario, you mention that sometimes we have to leave our family and friends behind in order to protect our goals. That thought used to terrify me, I used to think "but my life is great, I don't want to change, I just want to cut down or manage my drinking." This time it's clearer to meI don't mind making changes or choices regarding who I hang out with or avoiding situations that may threaten my sobriety. J-Vo, I think it's part of our slow emergence of sticking to the quit. The sober time adds up and staring over is like learning to walk again but hopefully quicker, or recognizing we need more tools to add to our arsenal. Opening our eyes or maturing if you will. I'm not saying it's easier in fact I'm nervous about the holidays but I'm feeling like an adult this time, I have more conviction. We can do this!

I'm feeling fat today, I've been eating freely and now I need to rein it in a little but who cares, right? Happy Friday everyone, day 18 for me.
Roobs

[Roobs]

Lav, so glad your husband is home. Take care of yourself too.

[paulywogg]

Hi nesters, great posts as always, Roobs,I'm feeling fat too I'm pretty sure I ate a whole pizza by myself last night but I was super thin crust and I gave bites to my dog so I don't feel too bad about it haha,Nursie, your post nearly brought a tear to my eyes, we're working on our marriage but I don't think my hubs understands that it can't be both ways with me,sure we laugh and stuff when I was drinking but I wasn't really there,sober we laugh, go to breakfast together, etc and it's the real me,not some fake me,Ava,yep the ridiculous looking drunk who's puking and staggering and everyone around is staring, jeez how embarrassing changed my avatar for the holidays, it's the leg lamp from "* Christmas story" I LOVE that movie, wishing everyone a peaceful AF Friday

[KENSHO]

Me and Kensho have a date to meet here at 200 days sober. Right big buddy?

Right on G-Man. I'm 5'-3" though, so big in heart maybe I expect you here, so no changing your mind, ok?

Maybe it's one change for some people, getting rid of the alcohol (well, the biggest and most important change for all of us), but maybe changing two or three things is what will make us happy. Maybe some of us need or want more changes. But that's the beauty of sobriety. It's our own paths, and we as individuals will all have a different path and each of our sober lives will look unique. I have a vision in my head of what my sober life will look like.

I love that you are excited about what your sober self will be! It’s great visualization to imagine that better life. I used to imagine my drunk self, and then my sober self every night before bed, and it really helped me see where I was going. The really exciting thing is that not only will these things begin to come true, but doors will open that you didn’t even know were there. There are some things that will begin to be wonderful that are impossible to understand while still drinking. It’s a lot to look forward to - and quite a ride. I am an impatient type too, and I have learned that every part of this process has beautiful qualities. Jump in the water, and don’t ever look back! Keep swimming - NO MATTER WHAT - and the rewards will be more than you dreamed!

Kensho, you sound fantastic! Very proud of you as well!

I have noticed that when I get through a tough patch and keep my promise to myself, I get a real boost from it and feel stronger and happier. It's making it through the hard times that builds the sober muscles. And it's the hardest part. But they seem to get easier the more I do it.

Nursie, you’re so right… it does turn into a shit show after only one silly hour. Not worth it!

Roobs & Pauly, who cares! Eat, eat, eat! Just don’t drink! It will even out over time and you won’t need the treats as much. Pauly, my husband finally gets that I am better without alcohol. There’s no debate any more. Time fixes that.

Happy Friday to everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Paulywogg, do you realize how much it messes with our minds when you change your avatar? Bahahahahah! I love that movie, too!

I did two contracts all by myself today and it only took me two hours! WoooHooo! I was complimenting a young coworker on how quickly she picked up on stuff... I said, I've been here almost 6 months and I'm still struggling... she said, 'Well, I'm young, so.....'. Ouch. She is 22 and she is lightning fast, but OUCH, anyway!

It's only Friday, Nesters, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Hope everyone has an easy day, Byrdie

[scottish lass]

TGIF - grocery shop completed sans wine, and working form home, so hatches buttoned down to avoid the temptation.

Spent 2 hrs in urgent care with a stress fracture in my foot - off the running for a while, over the holidays too - so will be feeling fat soon too!

Girls were supposed to spend weekend with their dad - first time seeing him in 7 months - he suddenly stopped communicating on Tuesday, so I am guessing he forgot to book the plane and is too damn stupid to fess up - how can he keep mucking up his relationship time after time...
My (selfish) plans for a quiet weekend are out the window, and trying to plan some fun things to do quickly to keep the girls morale up. They keep getting hurt by him and makes me so mad to have to watch it happen over and over again....

[paulywogg]

Messes with me too Byrdie, I kept looking at the new posts list and thinking it was someone new to posting haha