Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

I did two contracts all by myself today and it only took me two hours! WoooHooo! I was complimenting a young coworker on how quickly she picked up on stuff... I said, I've been here almost 6 months and I'm still struggling... she said, 'Well, I'm young, so.....'. Ouch. She is 22 and she is lightning fast, but OUCH, anyway!

But can she create a cake with such finesse as you? I think not. Congrats on the contracts!

Kensho yes, BIG in HEART and nowhere else!

Must be day 112 for me. Noice. L8tr g8trs.

[Marylou123]

Pav, Ava,
YOU TWO ARE AWESOME! Congratulations on three sober years. I love you both for ALL your contributions to both MWO and my own sobriety.
Hugs - MaryLou

[paulywogg]

Scottish Lass,I'm sorry about the girls' dad good thing they have such an awesome mom to take up the slack also sorry about the foot,,yikes wishing you swift healing

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Thanks so much for the 3 year love. As usual, NoSugar hit the nail on the head (even if she didn't leave any links to click!) I am so excited to cross this milestone, but one side effect of being so private about this all is that there is no one in person to celebrate with. My one friend who lives several hundred miles away texted, and I had to tell my husband it was time to celebrate! We're going to go out to dinner, and I am going to save room for ICE CREAM! There have been so many ups and downs, and even recently I had a pity party for myself - why couldn't I be that person who so elegantly sipped a glass of wine? Why couldn't I be that person who enjoys a cold beer after a long, hard hike? Woe is me! Thankfully, those pity parties don't last long. All I have to do is conjure up that feeling I had for the last weekend I drank (really, the last couple of years I drank) - even after three years it can cause a physical response in me. My journals all say "fear, fear, fear" as the predominant feeling. SO VERY GRATEFUL that I don't have to go back there - I am free. Free to be me, warts and all. For my speech I will relate all of the positive aspects I have found to keeping alcohol out of my life:

1. My blood pressure is normal and I quit taking the medication I had been on for 7 years.
2. My "fights" with my husband have nearly gone away. We're not perfect, but we can disagree without my dissolving into tears of anger and insecurity.
3. I have better relationships with my teenagers and can be there for them. I can have honest, sober conversations with them at 11:30pm which seems to be their preferred time to talk. I can talk to them about their own use of alcohol without being hypocritical or showing something different from what I am saying.
4. I lost weight even though I added ice cream more regularly to my repertoire! This is in part due to the fact that I exercise more as I am less in a pit of despair on the weekend mornings, but also because I don't drink so many calories.
5. I have taken a giant leap at work, taking a risk to go down a path I don't think I would have had the courage or confidence to do three years ago. My skin is much thicker, I stand tall in my convictions, and I fight battles that I might have avoided.
6. CONFIDENCE! So much more in all aspects of my life. This cannot be understated.
7. Sleep. Whoa, sleep! I don't wake up with regret and remorse in the middle of the night. I sleep well most nights, and when I don't, I don't panic or perseverate on negative thoughts.
8. Friendships here! I have loved this community and the love and support you all give me. I am so grateful that you listen to me babble, let me offer my experiences, and give me great advice.

There are so many more!

I have to give a special thanks to my quit twin, Ava. Your steadfast support and encouragement have been amazing. I, too, look forward to reading when I've seen you post. I am looking to check in with you on day 2,000! I also have to thank NoSugar - you were the first to reach out to me in between my first post and the three week hiatus I took to MAKE SURE this was it! Your research and no-nonsense support has gotten me through - head over heart when it had to be. Not that your hard isn't there! Byrdie and Lav - my nest moms! I have held tight to your tail feathers many times. Your humor and no BS approach have helped me many times. Gloamers! That thread kept me going for that first year. I loved (and miss) the thread devoted to our mission of staying sober. As you say, J-Vo, we all have a different path, but we are here to support each other without judgement. Army, Steppers, etc., I lurk on your threads and find support in the camaraderie you have with each other. You all are so real which makes this whole thing possible. And Finally - my nest mates! Thanks to you all for being here and sharing your stories. It helps so much to hear from others that I am not alone, that other people have the same ups and downs, that some struggle as I do. Thanks for returning to support me and all of us.

G and Kensho - stick close to each other. When you're down and thinking about a drink remember that you won't just be letting down yourself!

Ok, I think that's my three year waffle. Thanks for letting me rant.

Happy Friday, Nest. No ticket to boozeville here!

With love and appreciation from the bottom of my heart,
xo
Pav

[paulywogg]

Love it Pav

[Byrdlady]

Ava and Pav, I wonder if you would tuck those 3 year speeches in the Tool Box for us? They are worth their weight in gold. THANK you for taking the time to pen them for us. It's been great celebrating with you and sharing in your moment! xo

[Overit-still]

Hi guys! Just checking in. Lots to celebrate in the nest! Congrats to AVA and PAV! Good job showing how it's done.

12/12 would have been 4 years for me had I stuck it out. Blech! What a waste of time right?

OK, heading to the market to buy cookies and popcorn and rent a movie to watch under a quilt in front of the fire with my love bug dogs laying next to me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[j-vo]

Pav, great post! Thank you for sharing.

Brydie, poo on that young chick! I feel the same at work. Except I rely on my students for help with my computer and smart board. "Refresh Mrs. J-vo" they say. And I say, "where the hell's that button." Oh, I feel it's almost time to retire for those reasons, but just can't yet. I think I'm still pretty good at some things, and just today, I felt my high expectations being conveyed to them, and saw them stepping it up. Awe, that's what I like.

Kensho, you sound so strong. Keep going and hang onto that cute quit buddy.

FAT! Yep. I'm fat and have been eating nonstop. I'll worry about that tomorrow...

Have a good night.

[available]

morning nesters

Thought you were a newbie Pauly! i think maybe i should change my avatar but then as you said i would only confuse myself also. Im confused enough.

Pav a lovely speech and so proud of you. Off on our 4 year trek, slow and steady with i am sure great lessons to be learned along the way.

Went for a walk this morning, i have gained weight too over the winter time, chocolate is a hot food to keep me warm. It was just lovely appreciating life, listening to some music and saying hello to the fellow walkers. I gave up walking as I so could not walk with a hangover then the afternoons were drinking times. Im feeling anxious as anything about my mothers stay for a week, trying to sort it out in my head of how to behave to her behaviour. I do no i wont drink that part is a certainty, keeping my mouth shut not so much.

SL i hope your foot heals. Your ex sounds like an ass and its sad that the girls suffer so much. Lucky they have a great mum.

Well the man is ready so off i go shopping, id prefer to play in a pit of spiders since its coming up to xmas.

Take care xx

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,

A quick, slick check in - really nice reading all the posts, this evening ☺ Thanks Pav & Ava for sharing your thoughts on your 3 years - such a massive achievement & look forward to seeing you hear for the next...same time next year?

Life's a bit busy here, so hope you all have a lovely weekend,
Wishing all a safe & sober Saturday
LS

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

Waiting for life to return to normal around here - whatever that is, ha ha!
I am watching my husband deal with a true loss of appetite after watching him overfeed himself for the past 43 years - weird. All this will pass in good time.

SL, sorry about your ex & his behavior toward you & the girls. They are old enough to form their own opinions about this & let him know too!! I hope your stress fracture heals better than mine. My foot still hurts off & on 2+ years later

Looks like it was a pretty successful week in the nest & that makes me happy
I am grateful for each & every one of you & know that you will meet your AF goals! Just keep moving forward!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[TJAF]

Belated congratulations. Hooray!

[wagmor]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been absent from the nest for the past few weeks other than quick posts in roll call. I'm still here and going strong in spite of a few very stressful weeks. My stresses are related to politics and the U.S. election, which I don't want to bring into the nest, so instead of coming here to post like I might have for other situations, I've been turning elsewhere to supportive groups who are specifically built around that purpose.

I'm still trying to catch up on the busy weeks you all have had, but I wanted to jump back in and at least begin to respond...

G-man - sounds like the lady in your life and in your dream makes you very happy. Thanks for sharing that happiness with us. We'll stay tuned for the naked dreams

Kensho - sorry about your in laws. I love how you have been able to gain a different perspective on things since you can relate to the ways alcohol affects what we say and do. Doesn't mean we let things slide when they are hurtful, but I do really respect how you're analyzing everything and realizing what you have learned through your sober time.

Lav - Really sorry to hear about your husband, but so glad he's back at home now. Loss of appetite isn't uncommon in such circumstances - sounds like you know that - and I hope he's feeling more himself each and every day. Hugs to you.

Pav and Ava - Huge congrats on your 3-year milestones!!! Wow. You are two of the many folks I remember from my time in the nest back in 2014, and I can't help but think how much farther along I would be in my journey if I'd kept my 2014 quit going as you both have done. Well, no time for regrets, but big kudos to you both and many thanks as well for sticking around the nest and helping us newbies (and oldies-but-newbies-again). Bravissima!!!

Roobs - I have to do the same as you in reminding myself that "one romantic glass" of anything doesn't exist for me. No, the possibility of such is a total lie for me. It's really good that you recognize this though, as that will definitely be one way al will try to lure you back. Don't fall for it!!! Committing to check in here every day is an excellent plan and I can vouch that it truly helps. Glad to be ending my own hiatus and to be getting back into the groove of posting and reading every day. Glad you're here too!

Byrdie - I totally get the tendency to think, "I would have X amount of time at this point if..." As I mentioned above to Pav and Ava, I'm very aware that I could be past the 2.5 year mark and rounding the bend toward 3 if I hadn't quit my quit in 2014. But, as you well know, that kind of self-kicking does no good and it's best to celebrate our time now and to protect it at all costs! Thanks to you as well for staying in the nest. Your wise and welcoming wings have really helped me personally and I know others feel similarly.

Nursie - yes! I want to be one of those long timers who stay on and help as well. Let's commit to doing that together, ok? Love the comment from your husband about having you back. It's so awesome to hear that kind of support, isn't it?

Mario - it's difficult but we do sometimes have to leave family and/or friends behind when we commit to our own sobriety. Thanks for sharing your insights along those lines. I feel so fortunate that I don't get pressure at all from the drinkers in my family. I don't know if they just accept and respect my decision, or if they understand how dangerous drinking was for me, or perhaps both. Doesn't matter - I'm lucky to not only have no pressure from them but also to have their strong support.

[narilly]

Well hello everyone! It's sure a busy night around here. Ava and Pav,way to go, I knew you could do it! Yippee!
I needed to come back to MWO. Besides missing everyone, I was starting to have drinking thoughts. I came here because it is a safe place and I get to be part of this week nderful community.

Hello SL,JVo, Byrdie,lav, NS, Lost Soul, lil B, everyone, I missed you and will talk again tomorrow. The good news is that I have not started drinking again but I needed to come back. I will talk tomorrow. Xo

[mario]

Good morning nesters , just checking in here as I go to work shortly, It gives us all so much encouragement & more determination to succeed when we read of others successes, as if they can get there way out we can to...

Have a great positive day everyone.