Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, whoa is that Narilly?!? I am so glad to see you I'm here in the nest too after a few stumbles that I can't let happen again! I'm doing it different than before and jumping in full throttle, getting the support I need, learning how to thrive and posting here is really helping cuz it stays pretty busy throughout the day and I think that's what I need instead of only checking in once a day like on my other threads,everyone sounds great, wishing everyone a peaceful AF Day

[SouthLondoner]

Does anyone else seem to hold onto memories? Maybe a place you had a bad experience is held in your memory bank - making just visiting that place bring up strong emotions?

It's something I've been thinking about - out there associations with bad experiences/actions whilst drunk. Maybe a song, a certain place, a person etc.

So, do you think a part of recovery is revisiting this for real so they once again become normal and you are not conditioned to replay those drunk times over in your head?

[Byrdlady]

Quick fly by this morning, my friend is coming over to decorate cookies today. I was just thinking thatvif this were 6 years ago, I would be loaded by now, because of the limitation of having someone underdoot all day. Id have to sneak gulps in my closet thruout the day....and hope she wouldnt be able to smell it. I DO NOT miss that life or that person. What a prison I was in and fought for it! Fought for the right to drink! What was I thinking? I was just scared....MWO taught me to walk thru the fear....it doesnt kill us!
Looking forward to this day.....SOBER and loving it!
Hey Narilly!! Great to see you!
Happy Sattidy, all, Byrdie

[j-vo]

Good morning,
Easing into a Saturday is what I love to do. SL, I'm sorry for your exes behavior. I can't imagine how your daughters feel but they are so lucky to have a great mom.

Good to see you Wags!

Nar, so glad you haven't drunk but are back after having those thoughts. This place is hopping and we are lucky to have you back here.

Today we are starting our xmas shopping. After that, we get to see our college boy for a few minutes as he needs his tennis shoes. Any excuse to see him!! I'm sure we'll go to lunch or dinner, depending on the time.

Have a great Saturday all.

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,

SL, I'm sorry your ex is such a duochebag. I hate when I hear when kids are let down by a parent that they love and miss. But like Pauly said, they have a great mom, you're their rock. That may not know that yet but they will get it one day. You're showing them what a strong woman looks like warts and all.

Pav,Ava, thank you for your posts and the reminders of what living AF is really like and how great it can be even during the difficult moments.

Lav, glad your husband is home.

Birdie, just know that your contracts have much more depth, character, substance and quality behind them than that little whipper snapper. So there.

Its still amazing, the roller coaster of emotions everyday brings. I start out with my euphoric coffee surge, sometimes I turn into a puddle by mid morning followed by some anxiety about anything and everything, then the woes, then needy-ness kicks in, maybe a little anger and frustration, throw in some reminders of gratitude, hug my pets and call it a day.

Yesterday, a British woman I know was talking about how it was a sherry type of night. She and her husband are actually growing their own vineyard. It was so cute, she's cute and her lovely accent makes drinking sound so wonderful. I had a little pang in my stomach and a bit of jealousy. I wanted to drink sherry too even though I've never been a sherry drinker. I would probably throw it back so I could get on to my prefered beverage of a giant glass/bottle of wine. It also made me realize, the holidays are going to be hard. Sigh.

Have a great day everyone, thanks for being here.

[narilly]

Hello nesters, whoa is that Narilly?!? I am so glad to see you I'm here in the nest too after a few stumbles that I can't let happen again! I'm doing it different than before and jumping in full throttle, getting the support I need, learning how to thrive and posting here is really helping cuz it stays pretty busy throughout the day and I think that's what I need instead of only checking in once a day like on my other threads,everyone sounds great, wishing everyone a peaceful AF Day

Hello Pauly! Yes it's me. I decided to check back in and remind myself why I cannot drink. Glad you are here. Yes, keep posting, let's get through Christmas sober. We can do it!

[narilly]

Roobs, I agree, Christmas is hard. I wrote down a few stories in my phone about the last few times I drank and lost control. Whenever I think I am starting to cave I go back and read the stories. It really helps to remind me why I am not drinking and why I can't drink. That really helps me.

[Struggles 106]

Good afternoon nesters-

Day 48 for me. AND I've lost 5 pounds! Though a lot of that is from being unable to eat due to dental work...but still.
I was thinking this morning about the expression that drinking "impairs your judgement." Oddly this struck me as rather funny, since judgement is only one of many things drinking impairs- like common sense,inhibitions, a moral compass. For me at least it just makes me a complete moron. I am doing a pretty good job of not beating myself up for past nonsense, and taking it one day at a time.
I've started to realize this is just me, living with ME, and being ok with who I am. What other people think cannot be my concern.
To think of all the times I've been drunk around people from work? *shudder*
But that is in the past and forward I go.

Many thanks to everyone for being here

Ann Carolina

[Guitarista]

Hiya nesters near and not so far.

So good to see you Narilly!

Auto renewal on my credit card for a ticket to boozeville finally cancelled through lack of interest. day 113 here. Kick some arse in your own way out there.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,

Hope everyone is having a relaxing/exciting Saturday night?

Lav, glad your husband is home & hope his appetite will return all the quicker because if it ☺
Wagmor, glad you've managed through recent stresses AF! Your just right as well, sometimes it's good to source support from different places - whatever works is for you is definately the best support!
Narilly, nice to see you, don't think we've met on MWOF, but congratulations on you nearly 3 years of sobriety & admire your choice to revisit the nest now - it's great for support & reaffirming your commitment to staying AF ☺
Pauly, if I miss an evening or two - I literally have 3 or 4 pages to catch up on!
South Londoner, I agree, I've had quite negative emotions attached to certain experiences at different times in my life too. I believe that you can revisit these memories in a safe way emotionally/psychologically (sometimes with the help of councelling) with the goal of these memories having less negative impact on us in the here & now. I'm not sure if you meant revisiting past experiences in a physical sense though? If so I don't think I personally would feel the need to but we all have different ways of achieving sobriety so as long as you don't put your recovery at risk, then it might benefit you?
Byrdie, I can imagine the smell of your baking divine...far more sexy than stale grog breath!
J-Vo, hope your shopping wasn't too hectic, the shops are so busy but really christmassy too!
Roobs, think I'm roughly the same stage as you - I have very mixed energy levels, hoping it will level out soon ☺ I had so many love affairs with my choice tipples, but always reality never reflected the fantasy idea! It can be really tough & it's normal to feel a bit of 'resentment' that I couldn't drink like normal people and also as drinking is quite a big part of our society. I was 24 when I joined MWO & felt like a 'lost soul' because that's what people my age did - they go out drinking! Though with the support of like minded folk & as we get more AF time, it does get easier & it can be an opportunity to learn more about ourselves ☺ AL will always try to trick us back into the love affair, but in time it's control gets considerably less & I've decided Im not listening to empty promises. Thinking of you x
Congratulations on 48 days Ann, lovely thought on being happy with your self & not worrying about others, Thank you for sharing ☺
Waves to TJAF, Mario, & G
Hope all well with you Nursie, SL, Action girl, Ava, LC, Ava & Daisy x

Thank you all
Wishing all a safe & sober Saturday
LS

[available]

morning nesters

Nar Nar Nar, so good to see you again or hear you. Glad you realise the first steps to relapse and jumped back in. hugs and more hugs.

Londoner, i didnt listen to old music for about a year as it bought up drinking memories and happy ones for some unkown reason as there was nothing happy about me listening to Phil Collins, pissed as a nit and crying my eyes out. So i listened to different music but now i can quiet happily listen to my man Phil. We need to relearn and retrain our brains and this takes time.

Roobs when i gave up on the 1st December it was pretty stupid when i think about it, god how many celebrations are in december? so i figured i must have been pretty determined. I walked away a lot, i walked outside a lot, i ate a lot, i snuck out and logged into mwo a LOT to be accountable. If it gets too hard separate yourself from the situation, dont worry about anyones feelings except your own. How long can people possibly be pissed off with you for???

Well i am off for a walk, the symphony last night was just wonderful. There are two phrases i have said that i would not have done 3 years ago. Lucky me!

Take care xx

[j-vo]

Good Saturday Evening,

We had a nice dinner with our college boy. I'm so grateful for him and knowing that he's feeling more comfortable with his new life. I still worry, but just seeing him makes me feel better and hearing what he's doing makes me feel even more better. He's a cautious boy, and hanging out with good kids so, its making me feel more calm about him and his new life.

Roobs, My emotions are all over the place, too. I don't think we should focus on it too much as it might level out, but then again, it might not, depending on our personalities. I'm not a very calm person and most of the time my thoughts are everywhere. It makes me think I should start meditation, and other things, but I get myself so worked up over what I need to be doing and there are a thousand things I need to do to be the person I really wanna be.

Ann, I have a long way to go to stop beating myself up for being a moron. So long, that I dont know that I'll live that long. But let's give us a pat on the back for starting.

Have a good night all.

[paulywogg]

Songs seem to be a big trigger I think, also places I've drank at but haven't been to since,driving by gives me that feeling but some places its nice to go back to when sober to kind of break the association, some places are unavoidable like the grocery store or Walmart(could never go there without a few in the past I detest them both!) I think going out and making new memories free from booze is the best feeling ever read something on another forum I thought was kinda cute,someone had written that she really wants to quit drinking but doesn't know how she keeps drinking and someone responded that she's making the choice to drink...its not like she's walking down the street slipped on a banana peel and fell.she chose to make the decision to drink,I just kinda liked that haha,J-vo,glad you had a nice visit with your son hope everyone has a nice night/day

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Making slow but steady progress with my patient here I think.
Still can't get over his not eating much, he's a big guy, ha ha!

Narilly, nice to see you! What a smart move jumping back into the nest for some support.
The holidays can cause a little angst for anyone so stick around

SouthLondoner, I understand being concerned about visiting old drinking places. I would say don't bother, just stay away but it's your decision. I was a stay at home drinker for the most part so I have had no choice because I'm not moving. I did change radio stations like a few others mentioned, added in a new exercise regimen, picked up a new hobby or two, that kind of thing. I needed to reinvent myself in my own location.

J-vo, glad your day went well & you had time with your son, nice

Wishing all of us a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Marylou123]

Well i am off for a walk, the symphony last night was just wonderful. There are two phrases i have said that i would not have done 3 years ago.

This made me LOL because it made me think: I went to church tonight with hubs and mom. It was awesome. There's two phrases I never would have uttered nearly three years ago!

Have a great one - ML