Newbies Nest

[gettingthere]

HI everyone! You all seem like such a good group. I have posted a bit in the past, but it seems if I don't interact I slip up and fall into my bad habits. Habits include hiding bottles and drinking in secret. Then buying stupid things online I DON'T NEED. I hate that life but I just can't convince myself that it would be much better without AL. How sad is that?

I'm on day one here as I blacked out at a Christmas party Saturday night. Then I had to have several drinks yesterday to ease the shakes and guilt. YUCK. This isn't normal, and I know it. After all the drinks this past weekend, I am sure I have the resolve to stay away for the week. But my husband is going out of town this weekend and that means 'party time' for me. A bottle of wine or two, a few beers and a movie. But I don't want that for me this weekend. What if I hurt myself? Any ideas to stay away from the booze is appreciated. I have to quit, my husband is sick of me. I would be too.

Thanks all who share, and I hope all is well with you. God bless

[j-vo]

Well,, from a newbie/oldie, we never, ever get better at drinking, never learn to moderate, as that's not how our brains operate. It's not normal, as you say, and we all know what you're talking about. We've all done it. Hidden bottles, sneak drink, and obsess about it all the time. I don't know how long you've drank like this, but have you seen "Rain in my Heart" on youtube? It's a good documentary that shows what the type of drinking 'we' do can do to us. It kills us. Will kill us if we continue in the same manner. The thing is, if we think we can continue to drink, or try to drink normally, it never ends up that way, and the only future we have is the future that those people in the documentary had. HAD. Relationships fail because of this evil poison, and I've had my issues with relationships as well, besides all of the self-loathing that accompanies the drinking. There's only one way out. And that's not to drink. Please stay here and post as much as you can. I'm sure you know of the toolbox. So glad you're here.

[gettingthere]

Thanks J-vo and YES I made myself watch the Rain in my Heart series a few years back. I almost forgot about it, but I think its time to rewatch. I have to admit to myself that I am those people in the documentary. I have been struggling for 17 years. SEVENTEEN YEARS. It seems absurd I have let this go on so long.

Sorry if I am in the wrong thread. It seems too light-hearted for my self-loathing rant here! Lol! :eek-new:

I will keep posting and especially stay close this weekend. I have antabuse, but I want to do this on my own.

Hugs to all struggling right now! :hug:

[paulywogg]

Welcome Getting there waves to everyone, woke up with stomach probs that don't want to go away,so just saying hi,enjoy your day/night all

[Byrdlady]

First of all, congrats to Nursie for 30 days!! This is yoooge! Here is your barnd new Newbie Nest Hat! :guy: We are so proud of you! You DO look happier!

Getting there, those Rain in My Heart documentaires are eye opening. I saw myself in those people and it wasnt pretty. We are all on the alcoholism spectrum, so if we stay on it then we all end up the same place. Make a plan and set yourself up to succed! Get all the AL out of your house. This is it. Your time has come! Not one of us regret getting sober, but many of us regret we didnt do it sooner! Stay with us, we can help!
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good Monday evening Nesters!

Cold & dampish here but no snow, yay!

Nursie, Congrats on your 30 AF days!!!
Keep building on that foundation & have no regrets

gettingthere, welcome back & yes you are in the right place!
Having a good solid plan is the bets way to get the job done. Especially if you are going to be on your own this weekend, plan to succeed. Get all the booze out of the house, have plenty of AF drinks stocked up, have a friend on standby if you need help, etc. If you have the Antabuse why not think about taking it for a while until you feel stronger in your quit. Stay close & let us know how you are doing.

My husband is doing better, looking more human & even eating almost normally. It's pretty bad when even the sight of a cup of coffee turns you off. Looks like he's over all that, thanks for asking
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.

Lav

[Struggles 106]

Hey getting there-
Just a few thoughts-
I have been struggling for 40 years. Also I do take Antabuse now, since I know damn well I can't "do it on my own" I've found that 125 mg every 4 or 5 days has the desired effect. I can say this- it takes the option off the table. It keeps me from thinking about it until I act on it.
But that's me.
I found it helpful to know what a blackout actually IS, physiologically. I hated them and I'm sure you do too. Basically the brain is unable to create and store short term memories.
One part of it is that the resources for this function are unavailable since they are busy keeping the body alive, as in respiration and blood flow. It's very very scary.
I have 50 days today and I refuse to give up. I was heading for a huge fall and I would be foolish to pretend otherwise.
Please don't waste another 23 years on that crap-
I wish you all the best

Ann C

[Nursie]

Hey Nesteroonies,
Thanks everyone for the kind words. Everyone knows I have had 30 days quite a few times but I think this is it! I have quit many times and "researched" some more to see if I could drink. I just can't drink. It is the biggest waste of my time and my life.

Hey Getting There! Welcome back. You sound like you are at the end of your rope. I don't know why some quits stick and some don't, but I got to a point where it wasn't going to be an option anymore. I absolutely without a doubt could not predict what would happen after my first drink. I ended up placed I never intended on going, passed out in places nobody should be sleeping, taking chances I would never take, waking up not knowing what happened, where my car was or who was mad at me. Shame and despair. It still hurts.
But I have 31 days sober now and I tell ya, it's a heck of a lot better on this side!
Stick close and we will do this together!

[Struggles 106]

Go Nursie! So happy to see you.
I'm terrified to drink for the exact reasons you mentioned! There's just no way to know what will happen-also there is the fact that we both know if it wasn't "too bad" for a drinking session or two it soon would be awful. Same old drunken mess.
I just feel like I can't do it anymore.

Peace to ya --

Ann C

[NoraC]

Hi Nesters

Gettingthere - I agree with what everyone has said. Great advice.
I think antabuse is a helpful tool but only if you are absolutely sure that you wouldn't risk drinking on it.
You are still doing it yourself even if you use medication. Doing it yourself means using all the tools/support available to you that you think will help. Maybe that is just MWO or maybe it includes medication, AA, etc. I used antabuse to help me get a start. I also used it when I knew I would be in a situation where it was possible I could get tempted or if I was feeling a little wobbly. Regardless of what you decide regarding that, congratulations on Day 1. Stick close here. Lots of wise people here. I wish I had listened to them years ago.

[Roobs]

Evening nesters,

Huge Congratulations to you Nursie!!! Thanks so much for being so honest and sharing your journey with all of us.
Mario, what a reality check and a great reminder the party is only fun for an hour or So then sloppy sets in.

Gettingthere, so glad you're here. Please stick around, post everyday, share, read, listen. There's so much great support here and great advice from newbies and especially the oldies. Rarely does someone get it right their first or 15th, or maybe even 50th time.

Good night all.
Roobs

[mario]

Good morning nesters,

Well done nursy on 30 days, great Achivement , keep up the good work on your self as its working.

Welcome getting there, it's good you came back & rant away it's better out here than keeping it inside you,All us here can relate to what each other is going through, IMO we are all the same here , know better or worse, we're all equal, This addiction does not differ with politics, racism ,working ,non working ,male or female and everything else in between .it try's to ruin our lives equally & eventually kill us.

Good to here your husband getting better Lav.


Have a day of work today, A few things to do, isent there always . Have a nice happy positive day & don't quit quitting.

[available]

Evening nesters

A belated congrats on 30 days Nursie a great achievement.

Welcome getting there, as Mario says we are all in the same boat just at different stages of the boat ride. I didnt want to stop drinking but i knew my body was telling me different, the blackouts were the scariest aspect for me and a myriad of other health issues that were starting to arise and my drinking was becoming more obvious at work and at home even though i drank at 5.15pm everyday till i passed out, it showed the next day. You can do this, you are in the right place.

Had a lovely day with mum for her birthday. A small visit is doable and my patience is endless.

LC where are you and Daisy.

Well i have procrastinated enough and now time to do my assessment.

Take care x

[j-vo]

Good morning,
Well, I'm sleeping in 15 minutes longer. Its that time of year! By the end of the year I'll be sleeping until 5:45!!! But I'm grateful for my job...yep. Let's start off this day the right way.

So many great posts. That's why it's good to be here Getting there. We can do this together, and I have the best feeling in my bones that this is our time.

My ipad hasn't been charging and I'm starting to panic. I need to see what I can do about this! I can't live without it.

Have a good day all.

[Guitarista]

Jvo. faulty lead/charger? Have a gr8 week.

Ann, 50 freakin days?!!!! Yeah!

welcome back GT.

L8tr g8trs.