Newbies Nest

[abcowboy]

Overit, I think it’s a mind issue for all of us. Even physical addiction detox symptoms are usually gone in a week to ten days. Then the hard part kicks in, dealing with the mental and emotional aspects of the addiction. That’s when the support and understanding comes in, getting the support we need from others and having them understand the difficulties that lie ahead for us.

It’s so easy to grab for a drink when things go wrong for us, the hard part is finding a replacement for that drink that will work equally as well. Maybe it’s a phone call, meditation, prayer, read, exercise, whatever. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as it works. And people just have to keep trying to find what will work for them. It really is possible to turn our thoughts away from drinking and re-direct them to something more beneficial, it takes time and practice, and we all know practice will make us darn near perfect!

[j-vo]

Oh my! Just sitting down and it's after 8 p.m. Which for me, equates to almost midnight. Productive day at work, then xmas shopping, and had to get my ipad fixed. All of that. Was a bit grumpy later, but didn't drink over it.

Kensho, I can't speak for workouts just yet. I'm not there, and I won't be for awhile. I just want to get through the craziness of the holiday and the emptiness I feel. So I won't put that on my plate for awhile.

One thing I was thinking about on the way home this evening is my inability to commit to anything for an extended period of time. A workout program, my need to go to church and feel that spiritual part of myself, my home projects, and the list goes on and on. I have to commit to sobriety long term before any of these other commitments will happen. It's that simple. Once I've committed and have some time in, I believe that I'll be able to stick with my other commitments. I know what I need and want in life, but getting there will never, ever happen if I continue with the same ol' crap. I want to be committed to a workout because I know that makes me feel awesome. I want to be committed to my church, because that makes me feel awesome. Starting and stopping drinking will never get me anywhere close to where I want to be and who I want to be.

Awww, those f-ing advertisements. :cuss:

Have a good night.

[j-vo]

Oh my goodness...I must have said committed and commitment a thousand times...I'm too tired to edit.:egad:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Yep, 9 pm & I'm just getting around to saying hello
Such a busy time of the year but everything & everyone is OK.

Ann, Congrats on 50!

Madon, you are doing well & remember you are in the process of rewiring your brain. Takes a good month to form a new habit but it can be done. Patience & persistence really pay off here

GettingThere, glad you decided to go with the Antabuse. It's a tool & if it helps then you should use it, by all means.

J-vo, focusing on your quit is vital. Adding in exercise when you are ready will help strengthen your resolve.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest. It's getting cold & very damp here, not great for aging bones, ha ha!

Lav

[Nursie]

Finally checking in at 9:40!! Gah!
What a day but a very good day. In the midst of working, coming home, making dinner and cleaning up, helping my son with his homework and doing laundry, playing board games and getting ready for bed...in the midst of that I realized I have been doing these things every day now. Like a grown ass adult I am doing the things that I just couldn't do before.
Before I was:
Drinking
Drunk
Planning on drinking
Trying to sneak more alcohol
Planning events and activities around drinking
Hung over
Self loathing
Recuperating
Getting stronger
Thinking about drinking again.
Restarting the cycle

So nowhere in this Merry go round was a healthy and predictable routine for me or my family. I looked around tonight and I said "how come we don't do this every night?" And it dawned on me...duh...drinking. Now that I am not drinking, my habits are becoming healthier. It is not a chore to participate in life, it is actually enjoyable. And it's kinda nice to think about mundane things like coupons and mopping the floor. Normal things are making me quite happy.
I'm working hard. Journaling, therapy, psychiatry, Antabuse, reading, some AA meetings but not a lot, AA online, this site of course, meditating and listening to sleep hypnosis. I really enjoy the special way it makes me feel I can't describe it but it's comforting. The calm soothing voice of Jody Whitely makes me drift off to sleep and I really think it helps with the things I'm working on! Addiction, depression and anxiety, procrastination, weight loss.
My husband is absolutely astonished in the dramatic change in me. He is so happy.
Instead of lying in bed now, he gets up because I am up. He plays games because I set them up. He takes out the garbage or I kick his ass. He does the dishes because I cook the meal. He is participating in life because I am not dragging the whole family down.
I'm participating in life because I'm not drinking.

[mario]

Good morning nesters, have some sort of head cold, not feeling great. Have a good day all.

[j-vo]

Nursie, that's so awesome! Thank you for that post!

[Nursie]

Mario feel better friend!
Nursie says drink lots of fluids, get some extra vitamin c, and rest rest rest!
Good morning everyone. Dashing off to work but wanted to wish everyone a sober serene day!

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, Nursie, what a great post Mario,tis the season, my son has a head cold too and stayed home from school yesterday not sure if he's going today, I was sleeping this morning and my hubs woke me up by leaning towards me to give me a kiss good morning! Pissed me off! I thought something was wrong, now I'm all tired,oh well I was having a yucky dream anyways, wishing everyone a great AF day

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Nursie - awesome post. Actually brought a tear to my eye. Just awesome.

J-Vo - I agree, one thing at a time. You are so hard on yourself. I follow Amy Schumer on Instagram - she made a great post in response to some trollers who were "fat shaming" - I recommend reading the whole thing, but the ending is "We need to laugh at the haters and sympathize with them. They can scream as loud as they want. We can't hear them because we are getting shit done. I am proud to lead by example. I say if I'm beautiful, I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story. I will." I know others aren't bothering you, but sometimes I think you are your own worse critic. Think of the love and care you would give to your son if he was in your situation. Now try to give yourself that same love and care. You deserve it.

Off to work. Happy Hump Day. Don't Drink!

Pav

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters!
My goodness, it's so hard to catch up if you miss a day on here!
Nursie, I love your post! Such a great and positive outlook vs the Same old sick cycle of drinking. Look how much time you have to be present! Yay.
Mario, sorry you're not feeling well but thanks for checking in.
Pav, you're right, self love. It's an easy thing to hear someone say but I just realized I don't ever actually practice it.today, I think I will try to come up 3 reasons I like/love me for me. Is it possible?
I'm not working today, I'm going to take my dog for a walk and think of why I should love myself. My dog should be a good example, I swear every flipping day is better than the last day for her. She's so optimistic and happy. Every other dog or person she meets is another opportunity for more love and wiggles. I'm going to learn from her.

Day 23 for me.

Have a great day everyone.

[madonmehndi]

Oh my! Just sitting down and it's after 8 p.m. Which for me, equates to almost midnight. Productive day at work, then xmas shopping, and had to get my ipad fixed. All of that. Was a bit grumpy later, but didn't drink over it.

Kensho, I can't speak for workouts just yet. I'm not there, and I won't be for awhile. I just want to get through the craziness of the holiday and the emptiness I feel. So I won't put that on my plate for awhile.

One thing I was thinking about on the way home this evening is my inability to commit to anything for an extended period of time. A workout program, my need to go to church and feel that spiritual part of myself, my home projects, and the list goes on and on. I have to commit to sobriety long term before any of these other commitments will happen. It's that simple. Once I've committed and have some time in, I believe that I'll be able to stick with my other commitments. I know what I need and want in life, but getting there will never, ever happen if I continue with the same ol' crap. I want to be committed to a workout because I know that makes me feel awesome. I want to be committed to my church, because that makes me feel awesome. Starting and stopping drinking will never get me anywhere close to where I want to be and who I want to be.

Awww, those f-ing advertisements. :cuss:

Have a good night.

I completely agree, I HAVE to focus on the one thing that is of importance to me and that is keeping sober, I don't feel ready to commit to anything else at the moment either and I think that is ok, the rest will come

[NoraC]

Nursie - thank you for the wonderful post

[Overit-still]

Good morning everyone!

My AL brain is at work this morning. I was reading an article about dieting and planning one cheat meal a week and I thought "ooh, I could drink that meal and that would be the only time I would allow myself to drink all week." Who am I kidding. How many variations of that have I tried? EGAD!!!! No, if I have one I'll have 10,000. Getting drunk is what it's all about to me, nothing less.

I'm hungry today and unfocused. I will eat soon.

Stay strong everyone.

[Byrdlady]

We've all tried to make those deals, Over it. One drink just doesn't register with this bunch! Like Kensho said yustaday, eating is going to be your magic bullet! Hang in!
Have you decorated your bag for Christmas yet? xoxoxo, Byrdie