Newbies Nest

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Flying through the nest & enjoying one more AF day, yawn, albeit a sleepy lazy one! Good to read your upbeat posts and over it - think AL thoughts visit us all - that side of my brain as Byrdie says is never happy with one & that +1 hasn't been worth it in a long time. My love affair is well & truly over, the romance is gone, the passion is dead. And all that.
Wishing all a safe & sober Wednesday
LS

[j-vo]

Over it, the al brain will, I believe, eventually slow down and maybe stop? Maybe not stop completely, but we have to just let that thought pass. Distractions...toolbox.

M - Yes, one thing at a time. Too many times, I've put too much on my plate and failed. I'm going to work and do xmas stuff, but that's it. Most evenings, my butt is on the couch. I know I have the opportunity to do this now, where before I didn't as I was running to basketball games and had other commitments. But now my boy is not here, I can take it easy, and I sure will!

Pav, you're right and you see right through me. I am my own worst critic. Always have been that way. Even at work, I'm so hard on myself. I like things to go as planned. When will I learn that NEVER happens? But, I almost had a breakthrough, if I can actually call it that...Kids behaviors rarely change, they act the same way, so expect it and don't get frustrated. I usually know how to handle it. This afternoon a kid forgot his locker combo - this is the middle of December, the last period of the day and I had to find the locker combos buried in my desk!!!!!!!Right after a fire drill and mass chaos!!!!!?????) to continue...I thought, this is happening, and he's 14 and he's a kid, and it's gonna happen again, so why even get upset? I actually let it go. Yes, I was late for last period, but they lived, and of course, they weren't upset I was late. Anyhow, the world isn't going to fall apart when these things happen. Most of the time. I have to remember that. I hope that made sense.

I was interested in the "alcohol blackout" conversation a few pages back and looked up some stuff. I found this excerpt from a woman's book - Sarah - can't remember her last name. Anyhow, I thought it was a good read, and I actually just bought her book on amazon. Here's the link: My drinking years: ‘Everyone has blackouts, don’t they?’ | Society | The Guardian

Have a good night. Mario, hope you're feeling better.

[Struggles 106]

Jvo
You might be talking about Sara Hepola-excellent book "Blackout"
She was lucky enough to stop the madness at a relatively young age.

Day 52 here, taking a pill since my thoughts, like others here, have strayed a bit today.
Not going there.
Raise and bonus at work today; celebrating with hot chocolate

Peace to all
Ann C

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It's another 9 pm check in for me during busy season. Just grateful to be able to handle all the extra work without losing my mind or worse
The holidays are wonderful once you get thru all the preparation. They are even better when you get thru them without making an ass of yourself, oh yeah!!!

Mario, I hope it's just a head cold & not the dreaded man-flu. Feel better soon!

Wishing everyone a safe & restful night in the nest.

Lav

[SoCali]

Ok, so THIS is the happening spot for all of the daily action!!! :victorious: I am new to this site but in my 10 little days so far, I have felt so much support from you awesome folks and am EVER so grateful to have found this group of people! I knew there had to be a "place" where y'all chatted and checked in each day (other than the Newbie check in thread...or whatever it's called - sorry, again - new here!!!).

So, it appears most of you folks are somewhere in the UK or other places on the other side of the planet, which is a wee bit of a bummer (since you're all SOUND ASLEEP right now while I'm just getting ready for dinner...HA!). But, I really enjoy reading everything you all have to say and it's SOOOO refreshing to be among people who "get" what it's like to have a true drinking problem! None of my friends are problem drinkers (and ALL of my friends and family drink...) so until I found this site, I felt completely alone in my AL nightmare. I can't even believe that it was just 10 days ago that I posted my first post, with tears streaming down my FACE because I felt so alone, and I was SO scared about this journey I was embarking on, all by myself. What a difference 10 days (AND YOU FINE PEOPLE!!!) have made! I know I will struggle, many (MANY) times in this AF life of mine but I feel SO hopeful, and SO positive and SO happy that I have truly made the commitment to be AF. For life. There are no more "well, maybe I can just drink ONE glass of wine..." episodes for me. Ever again. I can't handle it, I am an alcoholic, and I want nothing more than to leave those horrible days behind me.

In the words of....some famous singer back in the day (Huey Lewis perhaps?) "My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades".

BOO-YA!

Night all!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

2nd post of the day. I'm feeling crappy, too. ATE ALL DAY. A bunch of blech. Tomorrow is another day, and I'll get back on track. I can't wait until Dec. 22 when the days start getting longer again!

Glad you found us, SoCali. Yes, that feeling of "you, too?" is SO helpful. If you have time, go look up the Bubble Hour podcast. So much conversation - so much "you, too?" It was a great support to me. I am here on the left coast of the US, so I am always the latest poster if it is at night.

Off to pick up a kid from basketball and get another one dinner. Night.

Pav

[Nursie]

Checking in way late again!
Hey Socali! I'm in NY and there's a few others from this side of the pond! Welcome!
Mario, I hope you're feeling better.
Nora xoxo
Byrdie you always know just what to say!
J-Vo yes! Focus on yourself and eat whatever you want. This will pass.
Lav, I love every post you make!
Roobs, how was your day?
Sorry if I missed anyone, I'm typing from my phone.

Another sober day in the books.
I'm still repeating to myself over and over "I do not drink, I'm not a drinker, I don't care for alcohol, I love ginger ale with cherries for a special occasion" etc etc etc like I'm brain washing myself! But it helps I tell ya!

Oh Ann, I have to get some hot chocolate! That sounds delightful.

I have a stressful situation with my stepdaughter. She announced that she failed out of her first semester at college and we need to come get her. And she's not going back until she gets her "mental health" in order.
We knew this would happen. But she didn't even tell us she was doing poorly. She kept assuring us it was ok. Got mad if we bothered her. Even when she came home for thanksgiving she said she may have to repeat one class but she was doing ok. Now all of a sudden she's washing her hands of it? I call bullshit! We made it a point to get her "mental health" on track before she left. We also begged her to stay home and go to community college for a year. Her mother is no hope. Psychopath and I mean that in the kindest possible way.
I am not looking forward to this unhealthy and toxic 18 year old coming back home. She has been a hard pill to swallow since she turned 11 and I don't think that I want to allow her here too much. She is 18 after all. She needs to get a job and do something productive.
Lord above knows I never sat on my tush and got anywhere!
I'm going to keep praying and shielding all the negativity and drama from her and her mother.

[wagmor]

So Cali - Congrats again on your 10 days! Yep, there are several of us on this side of the pond or in other parts of the world. I think we've got a few southern hemisphere folks, several in the US or Canada, and a few in Asia if I'm not mistaken. Probably others from places I'm just not aware of. Personally, I'm in the Pacific Northwest. If your name indicates your whereabouts, we are kindred spirits, as that's where I grew up. Glad you found the nest - sorry we didn't point you this way sooner! Definitely the place to be for support, camaraderie, fun, and genuine understanding.

Pav - sorry to hear you're feeling blech. Are you fighting off an illness, or do you think it's more just due to the food you ate today? I had kind of a case of the blues today and finally decided that it was at least partly due to eating crap food today - something I don't do too much of. Hope you feel better soon!

Mario - sorry you're under the weather as well. Hope you feel better real soon!

Nursie - I bet that many of us have used those mantras or similar about being a non-drinker, liking non-al drinks, etc. I do think there's some power in that. I can't remember what exactly I read, but it was something along the lines of "your thoughts create your reality" or something - in other words, if you tell yourself and your brain something enough times, your brain starts to treat it as truth. Regardless, keep telling yourself whatever you need in order to protect your quit. The situation with your stepdaughter is a bummer though. Sounds like the next few months could be a bit challenging, especially if she's living with you. Sending you strength!

J-vo and Ann - thanks for the link and info about the "Blackout" book. I read the excerpt from the link you shared J-vo, and now I'm going to hunt down a copy of the whole book. Wow. I didn't have what I would have called blackouts for most of my drinking life, but during the last year or so, they definitely started to happen. I would wake up and through the course of walking around my house, or seeing evidence of online activity, or through conversation with someone I would "learn" about the things I'd done the previous night that I simply could not remember. Nada, nothing. I knew I hadn't passed out, but I did not remember conversations, I did not remember online purchases, I did not remember getting things out of storage or re-arranging things in the house. This terrified me, and it's a huge part of why I quit again this past July. Now that I am starting to understand the physiology of blackouts, they scare me even more. Anyway, thanks again for the book info - now I've got a good read to look forward to over the upcoming holidays!

[KENSHO]

Hi So Cali! I live between Nursie and PAV. There are few of us here in the states. You are not alone. Tonight, I'm up doing accounting, my least favorite activity on the planet. I would rather clean toilets with toothbrushes. Maybe even my own. BUT, it has to get done.

Nursie, sorry you are not looking forward to your (step?) daughter coming back home. That's a hard time. Hopefully she can sort herself out fairly quickly.

Lav, I am more prepared for this holiday than I think I ever have been. I ordered online and bought when I saw something as early as August. Holiday cards going out tomorrow - so it's wrapping and that's it. Such a funny holiday, what it has become. Good things too, of course.

My day improved from yesterday. I had to swallow a hard truth that there are a few things I'm not great at in my job. It hurts to hear it. It's such a catch-22 - when I give myself he time and space I need as a person, my job suffers. When I give my job what it needs, my family life suffers. That fine balance is really hard to find.

Anyway, have a warm night in the nest. It's negative numbers here tonight!!

[Roobs]

Good evening all,
Socali, so glad you made it here. You sound great and full of the positive momentum we need to "stick" it! I too am so happy to have found this thread at this time. There's so much support and input and a feeling of camaraderie here. I haven't ventured out to any other MWO threads yet although I have lurked a little. I have found a couple of sober bloggers that I like and have added to my to my Tools. I'm grateful that that there is so much cyber support and not just AA. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been when aa was founded without any other tools for support.

Jvo, im going to read the blackout article later tonight. The title already hits home, I thought everyone has blacked out, right? If I think about my kids ever blacking out I will just flip my lid!! Omg, what a scary thought.

Hello Nursie, paulywogg,wagmor,Kensho,lost soul, Madon,Pav, Byrdie, Scottish lass, Lav, Mario, acowboy, LC, and I'm sorry if I missed anyone. I'm still getting to know my sober family.

Today turned out to be a great day for me. Did a little work, walked my dog,thought of 3 things I liked about myself, worked out, went horse back riding, connected with my kids. The only negative was my dog threw up all over my backseat, but even still she had a great day too.

Good night all!

[available]

Afternoon nesters

God the one and a half days i have had at work have been horrendous, had to leave work early to take maddison to the vets. Now i have to be careful with her heart condition and i have decided instead of letting her go if she is unwell that i should take her straight to the vets and get it sorted. We think the heat is knocking her around so will keep an eye on her. we havent really hit summer yet!

Cali, 10 days is great work. I am from Australia as is Mr G so we are all over the world literally. I found this site drunk one night and started reading then thought i was so not as bad as people on here that i was okay. What a load of crap that was. Anyone who drinks 2 bottles of wine a night is as bad as they come. Luckily i realised and 3 years later life is so good.

J it is very rare with me now that i think of drinking, its the best going months without that thought though at rare times the thought pops up but is so easily squashed. I would click on the link but as NS says i am not a link clicker! My blackouts were another main reason for me stopping drinking. I would have to wait till the kids bought up conversations of what was said the next day and i still could not remember. Thank you for the reminder of why i dont ever want to drink again.

Pav i hope your crappiness goes soon.

Not working tomorrow as taking mum to the airport, we have had a lovely nice short visit which i think is best. I must stop overthinking.

Dont work too hard Lav and i hope hubs is mending nicely.

take care and hello to all x

[Guitarista]

Hiya nesters near and not so far. How are yiz?

Roobs, you've just reminded me of one of my fave things.....horse riding. Gotta do that real soon.

Yo Socal! W'dup.

Good luck Nursie! I think/hope i am slowly learning the art of not getting too caught up or attached to others' outcomes, whilst still meaning to be a supportive compassionate presence in the background while folk experience what they need to. i dunno....maybe that's a lot of hogwash! lol.

Day something or other here. A few days off which is just supercalifragilisticexpialidocious to me!

Kick some arse in your own way out there pilgrims.

xpost. Hi Ava! X

[KENSHO]

G, we allowed our kids to give the middle name to our dog. Her official papered name is "Nesta Docious". As in supercalifragilistic. She's a silly chocolate lab, and she comes and gives me hugs during the day.

Yes, I'm procrastinating doing my accounting. But at least I'm not drinking. That is how I used to get through the late nights. Bye now.

[mario]

Good morning nesters , feeling a lot better tis morning, still a bit sniffely, have to go tow ork today, not looking forward to it , but hey what can one do, Hope you all have a pleasant happy day all.

[Guitarista]

G, we allowed our kids to give the middle name to our dog. Her official papered name is "Nesta Docious". As in supercalifragilistic. She's a silly chocolate lab, and she comes and gives me hugs during the day.

Yes, I'm procrastinating doing my accounting. But at least I'm not drinking. That is how I used to get through the late nights. Bye now.

Hi friend Kensho. Labs are just the best aren't they? Er, doing me tax so i've just got a couple of numbers to crunch here. Should only take you 3 or 4 hours. up for it? :congratulatory: Don't work yourself too hard!