Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

I was discouraged. 8 months sober and my brain took a real depro dip and then cutting off the codeine. I had the worst and most negative thoughts about myself. And I hesitated to share this in the Nest, because I do not want to discourage Newbies. It is still wort it!!

JustMe, I've been following your story since you joined and been so impressed with your commitment, tenacity, and desire to live the best life you can. You're doing this in the face of circumstances that many would use as an excuse to give up and drink. But you love yourself and your family too much for that.

Because you stayed AF, not posting about what you were going through apparently didn't hurt you. But, I would encourage you to go ahead and post whatever is going on with you if it helps. Think how you'd be feeling if by not posting and getting support, you'd let those negative thoughts lead you back to drinking? I don't think it's worth the risk.

It's great that you're getting past your addictions - it's amazing how many we all have. Of course, we don't call the unharmful ones addictions but they still are.

Congratulations! :heart: NS

[Guitarista]

Just me, you Raawk! That is all.

Big waves to all.

[SoCali]

Hi all, and Happy Monday! Some great reading here and as always, nice "boost" to my resolution to be AF (not that I'm having any problems or issues at the moment...). This is my day 15 and strangely, it's really been a breeze. I've been with people drinking at dinner, even bought some mini bottles of wine for my mom (didn't want to chance having a whole bottle with "leftovers" - even though my resolve is great, I just don't want it in my house right now...). Went to a business Christmas luncheon last Friday and I was absolutely fine, even though this is an event that in all past years was a drinkfest for me! The most interesting thing is...in years past when going to this event, we would drink bloody mary's on the way there (so, we'd arrive with a good buzz already in full swing), and immediately upon entering the room, we'd be searching for the bar, to continue drinking throughout the entire afternoon. All of those years, I would find my mind continually "thinking" about the next glass of wine, and "how much I have left in my glass", etc, etc. This year, I actually truly enjoyed myself more than any other year because the only thing I was thinking about was visiting with other folks in my industry, catching up with them regarding their families, careers, etc without a care or thought about drinking. I gave my drink tickets to my business partner and let HIM be the one to worry, think, calculate his drinks through the afternoon. Quite liberating AND, I was actually much more outgoing and pleasant to be around because I wasn't tipsy (and worrying about saying something stupid), nor was I constantly thinking about "my next drink". In addition, I did my "now normal" look around the room to see just how many of my fellow colleagues were NOT drinking alcohol and I'd say probably 40% or so were just drinking soda, water, coffee, tea (etc). That really REALLY helps me re-think just "how many people" REAAAALLLLY drink alcohol (because previously in my twisted little mind, I felt like I was "the only one" being deprived of drinking!!!). Not so - there are plenty of non-drinkers out there (and in fact, at my table of 12, there were only FOUR drinking!).

Ok, time to get back to work but thanks for all the good posts folks!

[j-vo]

So many great posts here. Thank you all. I wish I had the energy or brain power to reply to everyone, but my day was shit. I cried a bit, but now I jut can't think much. No drinking, no thoughts of it, even after today.

I did have one thought. I've been off and on sober for a long time. I don't wanna be that girl who is sober now and then. That's not good enough for my life. It's like a tease and there is never enough time to heal or you get so far, then you slide down the rabbit hole and have to start from square one. I don't want to hold onto any false hope that I can drink, and I'm not this time. Faulty wiring, that is me. That doesn't mean I have faulty wiring with everything, just one thing.

Just me, I'm glad you're feeling better. And I agree with NS. We're here not just for alcohol, but all of the stuff.

Have a nice night.

[Struggles 106]

Hey nesters
Happy Monday evening!
Great reading the posts here today- all so relevant to what I have experienced.
Byrdie- what I meant was trying to figure out not why some people become awful drinkers and some do not; it was about why some people are near death due to drinking much quicker than others,though the drinking habits are very similar. There are people who are near liver failure after 6 years, for example, and then some who drink as much and plug along much longer. That nut that lives with my sister has been drunk every day for years! I don't know why some people can sustain such a lifestyle so,long without dying, or at least come close to it if they don't stop. Seems weird to me.

My daughter finished her course work today for her BS degree. She wanted me to get wine to "celebrate" I said ok; I'm not drinking any but I'll get some for you. Later she said you can have one glass with me can't you? To which I replied NO-I guess she doesn't get it though I would think she would. I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm just not drinking. I bought cake to celebrate lol.

Peace to all

Ann Carolina

[Lavande]

Good Monday evening Nesters,

Funny how the days just seem to FLY this time of year. Never enough time to do all you want to do
No matter how busy I am I still take a little time each day to go over my gratitude list & reinforce my quit.

Justme, I am sorry you were having such a hard time but I am proud of you & your accomplishments! You know what you want & what you need to do - good for you!!! Please feel free to dump your worries & concerns here anytime.

Ann, congrats to your daughter on her upcoming graduation, that's just great. Cake is an awesome way to celebrate

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[abcowboy]

This place is starting to remind me of the MWO of days gone by, ½ hour to an hour of catching up on all the threads, reading all the new posts, trying to recall the names of all the newcomers, isn’t it great!! I’m always second guessing myself as to what I should say here in the Nest as I don’t want to come across that quitting and staying quit will always be a struggle. And I don’t want it to sound like it’s a cakewalk once you get some time in either. But just like whatever method you use to quit will be your own, so will your sobriety be what you make of it. So make your sobriety a positive experience, don’t let the “good old days” of drinking thinking cloud your thoughts.

I was going to share about Bubba’s staff Christmas party we attended yesterday, but then I realized there wasn’t much to share. We got there around 4:30, stayed till 9:30, laughed, joked, and visited over great food and great conversation. Even though the liquor table was set up for anyone to enjoy, all I needed was Coke and coffee, didn’t get even the slightest urge. It goes to show that when you are happy with the fact that you are a non-drinker, drinking becomes a thing of the past. Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but if you stick with it, that day will come...

[Nursie]

Night time check in.
AB, it sure is feeling like the old days around here! Things seem to be clicking for a lot of folks.
I had a good day. It was slow here on MWO though. I kept checking back!
Did some decorating and cleaning. Played outside with my little guy.
I felt a little uneasy this morning and had to keep reminding myself everything was ok.
(Hence my other post, but I guess I should have just put that in the nest instead of making a new thread.) Anyway, there has been four years straight of everything not being ok. Things being at their very worst. My brother, Cancer, my mother, ugh. I am now finally healing but that feeling of "dread of the daylight" is ingrained into me. I have to keep up the positive self talk and self love!
Because life is messy, and bumpy, and painful but also beautiful.
Much love to everyone in the nest!

[KENSHO]

Oh my goodness. So much said here. I've been away! We had a nice weekend in the mountains. I didn't want a drink at all. In fact, I noticed the (extremely) hungover people each morning at the coffee shop. Apparently there was a 4-day company party at the hotel, with a free bar. I listened to these poisoned people say how much they were hurting and you could certainly see it in their faces, eyes, skin and manner. I am SO freaking glad not to have hangovers any more. Not worth it! It is almost like watching people drink arsenic every night, feel horrible, and then go back for more. It's ludicrous!

SL, it made me sad to hear about your daughter. I'm sorry she is so sad - that is so hard as parents. I am glad she is going to talk with someone though. Best to you.

G - you sound like a freaking grown up.

Narily - 36

NS, thanks as always for your wisdom. Love your posts.

Struggles, I'm sorry for your sister and your past. So glad you are addressing these issues and choosing to reach for health and happiness. P.S. Cake is great.

JustMe - All respect to you for having the courage to share and the courage to fight for better days. You deserve it!

SoCali - I'm excited that you are enjoying your sober time! AL the bastard is sneaky, so keep your wits about you, but its a thrill to see newly sober people appreciate life like never before! Great work!

I had a hard day. Ugh. Mega stress with work right now, and my little girl is sick. She can't shake some lingering infections and it breaks my heart to see her feel yucky. I want to fix it so badly. Add to that my husband never learned to express himself in a grown up way, so he had his little tantrum tonight, directed at me. I'm tired, overwhelmed with work, and worried about my daughter. But I'm not drinking. I've thought about it - but, again, it's not the drink that I want - it's not to feel this that I'm feeling. But as I've said, life is about ALL the parts. So I will accept these feelings and then let them go. And I will gain something from it - be it a new appreciation, or becoming stronger or wiser. For now, I'm going to sleep if I can.

[Justme Again]

Thank you Nesters for your support!

It amazes me how addiction affects us. Getting off the codeine totally bolwed me over. The intense negative thoughts is something I did not experience for months, since I usually had that type of thinking late at night really drunk or the morning after.

It is scary how it removes us from who we really are. Our thoughts are so powerful. It shapes our world. I can see now how al and codeine affected my thinking and how it shaped my reality. I was stuck with these thoughts and convinced myself of so many things like the 'need' for alcohol.

This experience makes me put a questionmark after many believes I hold. Time to review and reconsider some thoughts.
Honestly, the most powerful part of my quit this time is my thoughts and believes about al that changed.

It is a journey.

Have a good Tuesday.

[mario]

Good morning nesters, Some great & informative posts here.

Not much to say today & all is good with me, hope you all have a good day.

[available]

Evening nesters

Well life moving along nicely here. I have the baah humbugs about xmas but i have had too many awful ones, all involving pissed people to look forward to xmas. I do love seeing the kids though even if they wont give me grandchildren. May have to sell them and get kids that want kids!

Just i am so proud of you girl. you are doing everything in your power to be happy and healthy, just dont hurry too much as it will all fall together sooner rather than later. Anxiety is a bitch but time and more time will help you heal. My anxiety is a part of me but i can control it with breathing and reflecting my thoughts elsewhere.

Cali, even now i check out who is drinking and who is not. I have very rarely seen a drinker like i was when out though. I hid my drinking well in social occasions, well most of the time. Its lovely to see the non drinkers out there.

i have my work lunch on Friday and my work colleague asked if i minded if we went to the pub around the corner or we could go elsewhere. It was so lovely of her to think of me but now i could work in a brewery/winery and not worry about drinking.

Ann, i have had people tell me that since i havent drank for so long i can certainly have a wine now and again. I just look at them like they have the plague. No one understands the "just one" like an alkie.

Take care x

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, Kensho,your post was spot on when you said it's not even about the alcohol, it's the feeling,I think booze is gross tasting but that never stopped me and after the first one I couldn't taste it anymore anyways, the hangover people ugh,that feeling of death! Can you believe people come in for haircuts super hungover? I can't believe the men can stand to have the clippers buzzing against their head,that would drive me up the wall hungover, Ava,I think Christmas is just another day this year for some weird reason, none of my family are even into it including the 3 year old, weird, as for grandkids I think little Louie will be it for a looooong time, my girls stay in unhappy relationships for some reason but that is on them not me,everybody is going along just amazingly here in the nest, I'm super proud of us all,let's have a great AF day

[wagmor]

Kensho and Paulywogg - Yep, I totally agree with your comments about "the feeling" vs the al itself. That's what al has almost always been for me - an easily obtainable way of "not feeling" whatever I don't want to feel.

I've gotta be honest - I'm really struggling with this very problem today. I am the closest to wanting to drink that I've been in 143 days. If I had something in the house, I would really be in trouble. I'm gonna go back and catch up on all of the posts from the past few days because I'm a little behind in my reading and responding.

Just wanted to reach out and be honest about the temptation I'm feeling today. Thanks for listening.

[available]

Wags you really dont want to lose those days, work through your feelings, post on here and occupy yourself. I know you wont drink as you posted and you want to be accountable. Its easy to walk away and hide and drink and you have not done that. tomorrow is another day and it will be better. That al voice wont win, it loses its power as time goes on and nothing, absolutely nothing is worth going back to day 1 again.

I hope you are okay.