Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Yes, Wags, all you gotta do is get thru this day, and tomorrow, you will be SO glad you didn't blow it. Nothing brings us to our knees like AL with all the feelings of guilt, shame and remorse....there is NO GOOD in AL.
I went to the Dollar store today (just to get out of the house) and there was a little old lady behind me with three items. She was counting her change to make sure she had enough to cover the things she bought....so I paid it forward and bought hers and her eyes lit up and a smile came across her face. It made me feel good. 3 bucks is nothing compared to what I've saved since I quit drinking!
Hang in, everyone. I promise, it's worth it. Byrdie

[madonmehndi]

Wagmor, hope you are ok, we all have those days, you can make it through

Byrdie, what a lovely thing to do, I bet you made that old lady's day!

Bought some alcohol free christmassy drinks from our health food shop today, they are mulled wine style and you serve them warm, I am always looking out for different drinks, I get really bored with tea, coffee and fruit/herbal teas!

Does anyone else go to bed really early through boredom? I have found since quitting that my evenings drag on for an eternity, I have started to go up around 9/9.30 as I just can't be bothered watching rubbish on tv and reading/crocheting etc... are hard on my eyes in the evening!

[paulywogg]

Wagmor,anything you feel like talking about? I'm here Byrdie, that was really sweet of you to do a lot of seniors haftawatch every penny when they live off social security checks so $3 to us is like a $20 to them,Justme,I totally forgot to congratulate you on getting control over the meds situation, it's really hard but worth it

[wagmor]

Ava, Byrdie, Madonmehndi, Pauly - THANK YOU so much for reaching out and offering support and encouragement. I managed to get over the hump of temptation, and your words really helped. This site is truly a lifesaver, I swear! It's funny (more like scary) how quickly those thoughts can sneak up and lead us astray.

Pauly - I'm just feeling overwhelmed with a few things in my life, the primary one being concern about and responsibility for my elderly widower father. I think one of his friends might be positioning herself to take advantage of him. I absolutely will NOT let her do this, but I'm exhausted from dealing with it, bracing myself for more work to come as he gets older, angry at my absentee brother who helps not one bit, etc etc. In other words, life. The kind of stuff we all go through - just my turn I guess.

I know deep down that al will do nothing but make these current challenges harder. Yesterday was particularly hard, and this morning I just hit the point where I wanted to escape from it all, even if briefly. Numbness was what I was after. I didn't do it, didn't get it, but cancelled a couple of meetings so that at least I got a few hours of "me time." I think I need to make a list of emergency measures to take when this strong urge hits again, because I'm sure it will. Things like music, exercise, cute puppy videos, anything that helps elevate mood for even just a few moments. I'll have to go back and check the toolbox - maybe there are lists like that already there.

Thanks again everyone. I made it. I'll be back later this pm to reply to others and pay the support forward

[j-vo]

I'm glad you got through that one Wags. You did the right thing by posting and getting support here. Hugs to you. It can't be easy going through that.

NS and Pav, I'm not one for scientific knowledge as it bores me. But if you can pass along simple articles about alcohol and the brain or something that explains the dangers of it that is not in technical jargon, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Yesterday was hell for me. Last night as well. I was a mess. Crying, screaming, running around the house dropping the f-bomb left and right. But I didn't drink. And you know what, today was better even though NOTHING had changed. My anger lifted (I'm still pissed at my boss and told her about it yesterday and I don't regret it) I had a much better day at school albeit one of the kids I had a problem with yesterday was suspended for what he did so he wasn't there, and I just went through the day doing my thing. I even did a presentation early this morning, with no worries about "how I looked" because I didn't drink and when I drink, my face never looks right, my eyes are glassy, and it's just ugly. So that's a concern that I didn't have to have and I appreciate that. So just like Wags, these feelings and thoughts pass. Just give it time. I need to keep that in mind when I have a trigger of any sort.

Ann, congrats to your daughter!! My college baby is coming home on Saturday!

Byrdy...:heartbeat: That was so sweet.

Lav, gratitude is so important. I'm learning how much I took for granted and wasn't being thankful enough.

Kensho, I haven't been anywhere, so I don't get the opportunity to see what you did. But I think that's a good eye-opener. Poisoning themselves as a reward...sounds stupid and I'm glad I'm not stupid anymore.

I've been watching a documentary that Ava suggested. Larry Thoreaux. Think that's his name. Wow, this is a very sad video on people struggling with al or sick from it. This is where we are headed if we pick up that first drink, so let's not.

M - what is that drink you bought? I get bored, too. I've been drinking too much coffee. I've been drinking lots of seltzer and cranberry juice, as its refreshing, but I don't need much refreshing in this type of weather. Lots of snow here and everything is cancelled this evening.

Have a good night all.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Congratulations Wagmor on 143 days, that's good going ☺ I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's still early days in recovering so it's so good that you did reach out for help here, when it is very easy to let those AL thoughts creep in & cave - you've got a good plan in place - hope you can make time to be kind to yourself as family worry is exhausting :hug:
Madon, I would love early nights! I find it hard to fall asleep at night & harder to get up atm, but when I do have an early night - I love having energy in the morning ☺
Thank you for sharing your experience Justme, it sounds you had a rough time but I appreciate that having trouble with anxiety 8 months into sobriety is something others may struggle with too & think by posting, it can help others too, so glad you posted x
So Cali, glad you had the best ever AF night out :hug:
Agreed Nursie, panic is yuk but manageable but a hangover is not �� well done on 38 days - really lovely to hear your change in attitude & thoughts towards AL - so positive :heartbeat:
Pav - I do have a light box, the brand was 'litebox' but got it ages ago. It's one with blue led lights which you can use for less time than others for it to benefit you. I find it works best used consistently starting from a week or two before the clocks change mid November. If I leave it till I start feeling crap & upside down - it's like playing catch up & doesn't work so well. My kids can't wait till Christmas...I Quietly celebrate the 22nd when the days get longer!
Guitarista, I love your thoughts on self love & self care :heartbeat:
Thank you all for your wise words & insights & helping me through my first month - I feel crap but blaming the blues, however have a general calm & am grateful for being sober and have this supportive place to be xxx
Much love
LS

[Lost Soul]

SL, So sorry about your not so little one's trouble - it's a really hard age anyway, not a child anymore but not old enough to have as much space & independence that young people of that age really need. My youngest one is court ordered to see hers (& he's not nice) so I find it tough but take heart that by you & him being separate she'll have two 'separate' influences & I guarantee she will draw from you a caring & loving relationship that will carry through to her adulthood x

[NoSugar]

J-Vo, this is a pretty compelling argument for not drinking that isn't too technical: YouTube.
I was constantly listening to talks on the subject while I was changing my brain. Several are given in this thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...toolbox-4.html.
Just like participating here, listening to these now and then helps me keep my head in the right place so I don't give any ideas like Wags had much weight. (Great job, Wags, on using this site the way it's meant to work :smile:. You'll never regret not drinking and just think, you're stronger in your sobriety now then you were yesterday after having passed that test :welldone.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see everyone reporting in
I had a busy but very productive day & I got to go meet some old work friends for lunch, nice!

SL, I sure hope your daughter is OK :hug:
Fathers are not always what they are supposed to be. I can attest to that myself. It's great that she can talk things iut with someone.

Wags, great that you thought things thru & didn't reach for AL relief. We all know by now that relief is false & just plain harmful to us.

LS, my daughter & I just had a conversation about buying light boxes. I think we would both benefit from having one in our homes. Maybe I'll treat her to one for her birthday coming up in a few weeks

Wishing all of us a safe & cozy night in the nest. Don't let overwhelming holiday stuff get to you, it's just temporary & will soon be gone on it's own.

Lav

[Guitarista]

I have found since quitting that my evenings drag on for an eternity

Madonna! You may've found the secret to slowing and preserving time! Can i have some? Hope you're good.

Yo nesters. Checking in on a wednesday arvo here. Day 123, but who, i say who's fkn countin?

Don't forget to git some self loving and self care in today. Ok, how about right now.

Take care out there.

[Nursie]

Morning check in
Running late! Be back later

[j-vo]

Good morning,
A little late this morning, so I'm sneaking in a post during homeroom!

Busy upcoming day. I've already lost my lunch and need to cover for another teacher, but at least I get comped for it. Going to dinner and xmas shopping with a girlfriend after work, so it's going to be a long day, but a day I would have dreaded had I been drinking. I'm not dreading it at all, as a matter of fact. I'm going to take it slowly today, walk to the bathroom slowly, even if I'm late.

Lav, I had a 'happy' light - what I called it. I used it all the time and it lasted forever. NEver replaced it but I think it was a good thing for me. I've also been looking into salt lamps. They're suppose to reduce anxiety and do a host of other things.

NS, thanks for those links. I'll be checking them out. I've been reading a lot and watching documentaries, any that I can find. It's helpful to keep reinforcing the dangers of drinking to me. I'm so ready for this new life and all it has to offer.

Have a good day all.

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters,just wanted to say hi and wish everyone a great AF Wednesday

[Roobs]

Hi nesters,
Just a quick checkin for me.
Wags, so glad you pushed through the rough patch, definitely not worth feeling remorse and regret and self loathing on top of all that you have to deal with.
NS, I'm very curious about the video, "does safe alcohol use exist," I will watch later.
Jvo, I'm so glad your tantrum passed. I think we adults could benefit from a tantrum here and there, gets rid of all that pent up frustration and stress.

I wish I had time to cruise through everyone's post but I'm off to work. Short day so will check in later.

Day 30 for me
Have a great day everyone.

[wagmor]

J-vo - Sounds like a rough few days for you. Glad you made it through everything without drinking, and that you saw how the next day was better simply because you hadn't had anything to drink. Teaching is a hard gig any way you slice it, and I have much appreciation for you and the other teachers in my life. One of my strongest wishes for our society is that we would value and appreciate education and the teaching profession far more than we seem to as a collective. Will the upcoming winter or holiday break give you a chance to recharge and recoup for the new year? Sounds you're excited for your son (?) to come home from college for a bit. Enjoy your time with him. Thanks for mentioning the documentary as well - will have to check that out.

NS - Thanks for the encouragement for me and the additional links you shared with J-vo. You and other long-timers are all such great resources - I wanna be like you all when I grow up!!!

G-man - As others have said, your encouraging and uplifting words are wonderful - I really look forward to them!

Pav and LS - I'm very intrigued by your discussion of a "happy light" or similar. I've often wondered if the lack of sunlight here in the Pacific NW is part of my winter struggles. Please continue to share your experiences.

SL and LS - Sorry to hear of your challenges with your kids/teens. None of that is easy, and having a co-parent in the mix, whether you're still together or not, can certainly complicate things. Sending you both hugs and encouragement - keep giving your kids a positive loving environment and relationship with you, and kudos for staying AF so that you can truly be present for them and for yourselves! :hug:

More to catch up on - will be back a bit later... Happy day/evening to you all!