Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Good morning! I'm so excited right now. In a few hours, we pick up our boy from college for winter break. He had a very successful first semester and I'm really proud of him.

Ice and snow in my part of the nest, but it will be thawing out today and make it's way into the 50's. Wow. It's been bitter cold so I'll be nice feeling a bit of warmth.

I echo what LS said. All of the long-timers here have very valuable advice and I'm sure we're all grateful for that. Thank you.

Yesterday after work was our work xmas party. It's always at a bar with pizza, wings, beer, and whatever else people drink. I didn't go. No one asks me anymore if I'm going. I think so much of the time in the past years, I've turned down invitations because I was working on being sober. Anyhow, I wouldn't feel comfortable going and having a nonal drink. Not now. I don't know if ever. But I know Ava has said she did, and she has gotten to that point. Maybe I will. I do love the people I work with, we have a good time even at school, laughing at just about everything, so I'd love to see them outside of work, eventually. But for me, now is not the right time.

Instead, my Friday consisted of dinner out and finished xmas shopping. I feel good about that as Fridays were always a ticket to Boozeville.

Have a good day.

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, cold and windy in Vegas only supposed to get up to 45 today, forus that's Antarctica weather haha,finished the Christmas shopping yesterday, just waiting on a jacket I ordered for hubs to come and that's it! I feel up to my neck with Christmas stuff and it's making me anxious for it to just be over,I know in the end it'll have been fun and I'll have great memories.... as long as I stay sober, calm and try not to dwell on the bad stuff, J-vo and LS,I hardly went to bars when drinking either but some wings sound good haha,wishing everyone a great AF day wonder how Tony is doing? Haven't heard from him in awhile, he was a fun guy to have around

[Byrdlady]

Hey all!
Jvo, all that snow and ice might account for why no one was in the home office yustaday at 4 when I was looking for some help! We were 40 degrees yesterday and will be 75 tomorrow! The weather is nuts! Friday was always a ticket to BoozeVille, too. Thats why I try to say that every Friday. I really thought that at the end of a hard week, I DESERVED to let loose. I worked hard, and I played hard....yeah, right. As we can see now, that's just an excuse. I have now said that little saying so much that I BELIEVE it!!
Pauly, I wonder how Tony is doing, too. I hope he's ok.
Lost Soul, another beautiful post. XO
Wishing everyone a peaceful Sattidy! Byrdie

[Roobs]

Hello nesters,
Sooo much good stuff here! Once again my day was full of work and lots of driving which puts me way behind in my MWO updates. I think about my nester family throughout the day, wanting to catch up and post but often times it doesn't happen BUT even still, I feel like we are committed and accountable to each other and that has helped me get through a few sticky moments. You all make me feel normal. Sometimes I want to take my new normal out into the world and im startled when others don't get it. I want to shout out to the world that I don't drink but when I'm in a situation, I get scared and realize that people will look at me like I have two heads, normal drinkers don't get it! So I will have to work on excuses to why I'm not ordering a drink.

Last night, I went to a work party, we got drink tokens, when asked to go get a drink, I was panicked. Why couldn't or why shouldn't I let my hair down like everyone else? We work hard, it's time to enjoy and loosen up a little bit and the first drinks are free! Damn it, damn it. Thankfully I did have to drive 30 minutes to another party to pick up kids so I had a quick and easy reason not to drink. Still, I realized this holiday season will be so much harder than I thought 30 days ago. , must look up some of the suggested bubble hours and articles you have all suggested. Despite my initial panick there was a dj playing really great music and I enjoyed dancing with my friends and coworkers. Yes, I can dance without al, and that was a small victory.
Pauly, I'm right there with you, I'm still trying hard BUT different this time! this time I'm really leaning on all of you for support without shame or ego.

I am so very grateful to all of you here in the nest. Thank you.

Kensho, I hope you find some R&R time for yourself, it seems like you've had a rough time of it lately. Enjoy your day, hopefully knitting until your hearts content!

Roobs

[NoSugar]

I get them too but the most valuable thing I've learnt from the nest recently is allowing the thoughts to come & go without giving them power - I have found this so helpful & has helped me through alot. I don't go out to drink so the holidays isn't stressful but some/most nights I have 'romantical' thoughts of some wine after all my works done but thankfully these urges/thoughts haven't been too strong & have got through :happy2:

LostSoul, understanding how our thinking creates our feelings and literally, our reality :smile:!, has been life-changing for me. We can't feel anything we don't first think. And thoughts are nothing but energy running through us - nothing to be scared by or a slave to. If you're interested in exploring the ideas, there was a thread that was pretty active for awhile that you might enjoy. I can tell by things J-vo has written that she's getting some Clarity :wink:.

I read all the posts, too, and often regret not responding to everyone because like others have said, it means a lot to see my "name" here and in the beginning especially, it made a huge difference to me to feel like people cared about NoSugar. But, the self-induced pressure to respond to everyone and my inability to do that lead me to not participate much at all. That didn't seem like a good solution -- participating here is how I keep my sober head on straight. And if in addition to that someone benefits from something I've written, all the better! Once you've freed yourself from an addiction, you just want everyone to have the same experience. So please know that when I write, I'm talking to everyone who is interested. xx, NS

[madonmehndi]

Hi all,

Each and every post helps me on my road to recovery, I have said it before but I just find it hard to remember who has said what so easier not to mention people individually!! Reading how everyone is coping day to day on their sober journeys is inspirational and I take so much from this forum in general but specifically from this thread so thank you all!

I am finding weekends much easier now, at the start I would obsess from Friday afternoon onwards about the fact I 'couldn't' have a drink but it hardly crosses my mind now, I have started a Pinterest page of Mocktails and am building up a stock of AF ingredients to make yummy drinks which helps a lot, I get really bored of tea and coffee and I am not big on fizzy drinks or cordials so Mocktails are helping me no end!! I have invested in some Kilner Jars with lids and straws and I just love drinking out of them! (big kid LOL) and they have the added bonus of being spill proof when I am vegging out on the sofa!!

[madonmehndi]

But, the self-induced pressure to respond to everyone and my inability to do that lead me to not participate much at all. That didn't seem like a good solution -- participating here is how I keep my sober head on straight. And if in addition to that someone benefits from something I've written, all the better! Once you've freed yourself from an addiction, you just want everyone to have the same experience. So please know that when I write, I'm talking to everyone who is interested. xx, NS

^^^^^^^^
What she said!

[abcowboy]

Well, I don't think it really matters too much who you are saying things to, although we direct our comments to specific members at times. And from the way the Nest has grown, it would be a full time job responding to everyone! What matters is what you say and how you say it so that everyone reading will know that the support they need is here, so read and post, share and learn, give and take... that's the way to recovery...

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Today's thought - I saw a movie last night that included a man who was incredibly hungover. The actor did an amazing portrayal of the condition and then asked for a shot to make himself feel better. I actually viscerally felt sick to my stomach and got a bad taste in my mouth. Oh my goodness am I glad I will NEVER have a hangover again!!!! Thank you thank you thank you. Very grateful.

In an amazingly proactive manner, I did my holiday shopping mostly ahead of time and have a clear weekend. Looking to get some friends over for dinner and a game, but if not will be happy to chill on the couch. Might check out those mocktails - and maybe I need a special glass with a straw like that, too, Madon.

And I heed NoSugar's advice usually. She kept me coming here and not feeling any guilt about not responding to everyone. No way that's possible while staying sane. I read most of what you all write and am so happy to be here with all of you!

Happy Sober Saturday.

Pav

[j-vo]

Awe....boy's in the house! What a great feeling. And I'm grateful I'm not drinking because I can be as silly and goofy as is my true personality and not worry that he thinks I'm sauced. Actually when I'm sauced, I'm not silly and goofy and just isolate because I'm sauced.

Roobs, those two tickets are probably enough for normal drinkers. That's why they give two...never really thought about it that way, but always wished they'd give us more in those situations. Those two tickets would lead us to spending lots for a a good time, or which we thought was good until all of the consequences started rearing their ugly heads. No thank you. But I know this is true addiction, and yes, we must pull out all of our tools and add to that list for the holiday.

For me, it's romanticizing having a few glasses of wine while I sit in my pretty, decorated living room and wrap gifts. Who the hell am I kidding. It was never a few, ever. I'm going to be wrapping, put on some music, and get a fizzy non-al drink, dance over to the family room, hug my big baby boy, and dance on back and wrap more.

Have a good night.

[Lavande]

Good Saturday evening Nesters!

Woke up to a winter wonderland of ice, ugh! Everything is covered, pretty but scary at the same time. I just picture broken bones, accidents & all that lovely stuff. There actually was a huge 55 car pile up on the interstate just south of here where two people lost their lives today, very sad!

Everyone is sounding good & working to keep their quits going ~ awesome
j-vo, enjoy having your son home for the break!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Lav, I saw a video clip online that had some of that 55 car pile-up - it looked like a slow-motion nightmare! We've had some days with icy roads here recently as well. Ice is really the only driving condition that scares me - I don't care what you're driving or how comfortable you are in winter weather, ice always wins.

Jvo, so happy to hear about how you're already enjoying your son while he's home for the holidays. I'm sure he's glad you aren't sauced, and the fact that you know it too must feel very good. Dance away mama! You've earned it.

Roobs, sounds like you had some fun dancing as well, with no al involved! That can be very freeing and confidence-building - just discovering that we don't truly need al as a social lubricant after all, even though that's one of the ways it's sold to us. Great job - really proud of you.

I really love reading everyone's posts, no matter what you're sharing. I have learned something from each and every one of you. Thank you so much for being here. :hug:

[Nursie]

I love reading everyone's posts as well and I also feel bad for not responding to everyone. Sometimes it's just a check in to get my mind right and others, I can't remember everything everyone has said!

I've been a little down in the dumps this week-end. Not really sure why because I have been doing SO WELL! So I lazed around big time. Tomorrow I will adult again, I hope!

Glad to be sober but sometimes I feel a little jipped. Like "hello I've been sober for xyz days, when do I graduate?" Something like that. The goal is not to finish, it is to continue. That's tough sometimes! But it's ok to have those feelings and then let them go. It's normal and we have to keep reminding ourselves, for now, that this is a new way of life and it is our reward!

[NoraC]

Hello Nesters - I love reading here.

Pav - the other morning, I woke up not feeling the greatest. I thought to myself that this was nothing like the hangovers I would wake up with. That buzzing & pounding in my head, the sick feeling, the shakes. Thank goodness I never have to feel like that again.

Nursie - you are doing amazing.

Sometimes I do feel a little jipped. But, not often because oh, it's so much better not dealing with the alcohol. I was dancing around the living room today with my son like JVo was with hers. I can act weird (my normal) and not worry about it. I'm being me and it's ok.

[Roobs]

Hello nesters,

Made it home from another party. Nursie, you nailed it, I felt totally jipped and bitter when I entered the party. I had another momentary lapse of memory, "why am I doing this, what's the point?!!" But guess what, the thought passed and I enjoyed myself. We only stayed for a short time, it was very cold out.
Wags, thanks for the shout out. Last night I realized that dancing was easier and more fun than sitting at a table keeping track of everyone's drinks and I love to dance! Jvo, we could have a dance off, share some moves. I'm so happy that your son can enjoy you completely present, sillies and all.
Lav, happy you and husband are home safe and warm. So many tragedies happening on the roads.
Tomorrow we will be meeting friends for a holiday dinner. This will be hard for me, a more intimate setting makes it harder to blend in and not be noticed. These are people who've seen me drink before.
Any suggestions on easy lines to use when asked why your not drinking? Please help.
Thanks, Roobs