Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, I've read tired of thinking of drinking too and get daily e-mail updates,Nora mentioned it awhile back, there's others I like too but I just kinda stumble upon the blogs so I don't remember the names, Sobersoul,who used to be on MWO has one" Grannny gets sober" but I haven't read it in awhile and I dunno if she got sober or if she even still blogs I'll hafta check it out after this, Lilbit,great to see you and I'm happy that you're doing great the other LB (Little Beagle) I haven't seen in a bit, anybody still in contact with her?such a sweetheart, trying to decide if I'm catching my daughter and Louies cold,I hope not but I do have the muscle aches and runny nose,we shall see, knowing my luck it'll hit right on Christmas, everyone sounds A-ok keep it up, all I do is remember my last bender and feel sick so it's a great deterrent, I think my brainwashing self hypnosis is helping too,have a wonderful AF day all

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAV! Glad you will have a fun day dedicated to YOU.

HOORAY, Lil - great to see you pop in. I knew you must still be sober (because you don't drink), and I am very glad to see it confirmed. I miss your funny, real posts. Hope you have a great trip.

I am not as cool as Lav - I still have the occasional pity party. It does help me to remember my darkest drinking times - very hard to feel pity for myself when I remember I never have to go back there again. We are constantly fighting the pervasive message that alcohol is fun, cool, hip, happening. Remembering those dark feelings reminds me that is a lie for me. Thankfully those pity parties don't come often any more and don't last long, but I did have them ALL THE TIME for a while.

Happy Tuesday. Take good care of yourselves.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

LilBit, we cross posted and I missed you! It's GREAT to see you! We've missed your little tuft of feathers here in the nest! I'm so proud of your nearly 2 years, just amazing! If you are coming to NC for your ski trip, you will be freezing your little beak off....we are 35 degrees here at the beach! I hope you have a wonderful trip!! Don't be a stranger!

Pav, I had a pity party last Sunday. I can't even explain why, I think it's just a long spell of cold gloomy weather here. I quickly rebounded. They used to last a lot longer cause I can really dwell on something if I try! Mercifully, they come very seldom.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Pre-Christmas week! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Is it a shock when the pity parties come for oldies? I mean, are you surprised, and what do you think at that point in sobriety? Just curious if this might be called a trigger, thought, or memory. I know it doesn't matter, just wondering.

I'm getting ready to go to a high school basketball game. I'm kind of excited because I haven't seen the varsity play this year. My boy was in the starting line up and I'd never miss a game these past several years, but now he'll be in the stands with us...well probably not sitting with the old fart parents, but with the cook kids home from college. Anyway, better go get ready. The next several nights I'll be out and that's a very different work-week for me as I usually don't do anything on school nights if I can help it.

Talk in the morning!

[Lost Soul]

Hi all

Happy birthday Lav :yay: I hope you have a lovely relaxing day :hug:
Congratulations on your 3 weeks So Cali!

Hope everyone is well - I think from reading & catching up on all your posts so many of have similar thoughts wrt drinking - as a reward for working hard or a way to relax. Those thoughts lead us to think of the pleasant first glass or half an hour & so often doesn't work out that way. I guess that's a part of denial, having those irrational thoughts & feelings & why a form of support & accountability is so important. I think this part of recovering for alcoholism is only half the battle. The other is getting on with regular life, work, kids, putting the bins out! So I guess because I think both are important, I agree it's good to not feel under any obligation to post to everyone as well, as being able to keep a healthy balance is important. As little or as much that is helpful to each of us is the perfect amount :love:
I think the best 'healing part' (sorry if a bit ott) in the nest is that although we all share a common goal, there's an acceptance that we can achieve it in our own way & that is really helping x

My more recent drinking was more antisocial, so I don't miss the social aspect but think it's normal to feel jipped or grieve the loss of the 'romantical healthy relationship with alcohol' (which never existed of course) but I did hope for on some level. So while I don't think wallowing in self pity is helpful - some feelings are better out than in & got rid of rather than pretending they're not there, so pity parties have their place. All part of getting better :happy2:

Haven't had a chance to read the three principles discussions thread but have bookmarked & it looks interesting...

Wishing all a safe and sober Tuesday
Thank you for all your support
LS

[Byrdlady]

Jvo, to answeer your question, is having a pity oarty a surprise to a person with almost 6 years sober? No, not really a surprise, just a mood and I know moods will pass. I find Christmas to be a sad time of year for me, Im afraid. Tomorrow marks a brutal anniversary of losing my nephew in a car accident in 2007. I lost my brother Dec7, 1972 in a car accident. I try to think of the spirit of Christmas and the spiritual reason and all that, but am pulled back to my sadness. Then Jan 2, 2013, I lost my dad then Jan 2 the following year we lost my step daughters husband. All these things weigh me down a bit. Ive been working hard tho, so that has taken my mind off things, but the weekends are there and an opportunity to think. I am happy to say that drinking is not even remotely crossing my mind, that wouldnt add a thing but more misery. Just wish I could enjoy the season without all the sadness and thinking. I will stay busy, that helps!
Im sorry to complain, but may as well share the bad with the good! Im so glad I am sober!! THAT makes me very happy! Byrdie

[Lost Soul]

Byrdie :hug:

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

Reporting in from the mid-Atlantic semi-artic zone - Brrr!
So grateful for a warm house & a big giant woodpile to keep the fireplace going

Byrdie, you honestly have had more than your fair share of personal losses around the holidays. No wonder you were feeling a little down. We may be 'oldies' around here but we still have hearts & emotions. Take care of yourself :hug:

No time to throw any pity parties, too busy, ha ha!!
I am starting to scale down the holiday craziness a little. It's not my job to work myself half to death trying to make everyone else happy.....right?
I can zero in on things to make the grandkids happy (toys & cookies mostly). The adults can figure it out themselves

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Roobs]

Hi nesters,
Wow Byrdie, that's a lot of loss in your life no wonder this time of year can be difficult. I think it's okay to be sad, mad and down right sucky remembering those that we've lost. But hopefully it can also be a moment or two of smiles and laughter remembering all the good that they brought to your life. I lost a brother 19 years ago this dec 30th. I was on Vicodin for surgery I just come out of but it didn't stop me from adding huge glasses of wine while dealing (or not dealing) with the crisis. He was a goofy, funny man with a tender heart and a hellava dancer.

The last time I checked in you all gave me great tips on how to handle a dinner situation. I was totally prepared, as it turned out, I didn't need to make an excuse, no one seemed to care that I ordered a Diet Coke. One of the ladies there rarely drink, just isn't her thing never has been. I was great fully sitting next to her. Whew! I'm still going to go over my arsenal of "excuses" why I'm not drinking. We have some friends coming to town that used to live nearby, our kids used to be really close. We have boozed it up with them plenty and I mean plenty. Then we will have my family over on Xmas day. I. Can. Do. This. We.can.do.this.

This morning I tried to post a couple of times but my darn scrappy little cat kept bringing in a mouse. It was running around our kitchen, I was squealing and running around too. Of course the cat was sooo happy and pleased with himself. My husband finally caught it and got rid of it but he either found a new one or brought the same one back in 5minutes later! We have a doggy door so he tends to bring us gifts quite often. Eww.

Happy Tuesday all!
Roobs

[Nursie]

Quick check in for me again.
Happy Birthday Lav! Xoxoxoxo

So me and a friend took our boys to see the Lukas Graham concert last night.
It's his last concert of the year and they are nominated for 3 Grammys!! So we were super excited.
I watched how most people were really not even drinking. Some people kept making trips to the bar and sloshing their drink back through the crowd. A couple people were loud and drunk and we moved away from them. But the majority were sober, drinking hot chocolate and soda, etc.
the concert was great and we were up very close to the stage. People were so kind to give us enough room so the kids could get a better look.

Then today I was Christmas shopping. Hubby asked for a dish from a restaurant in town so I went to order it on the way home. I watched as people were drinking, being rude to the bartender, and impatient for their drinks. I used to be impatient too. But not today! I was happy as a clam just people watching and waiting for hubby's meal.
Feels good to be sober. So good.
Hope y'all are doing well and see you in the morning!

[Guitarista]

Hi nesters near and not so far,

It's all about my thinking and where me head is at. I try to welcome my pity parties/poor little ol me/the world ain't fair etc. thoughts. I try to welcome them with compassion and a non judgmental eye. I look at them in the eye. I try to acknowledge the feelings and events that lead to sadness, whether i'm in a 'poor me' vibe, or grieving a loss, and i try to remember the good times about a lost loved one and spend some time sitting with those memories and feelings. I let em come. Well, easy to say not so easy to do, but really helpful for me.

It's day 130 here. There is no turning back, and there is no tomorrow. i am always and only here today. Let's git it.

[available]

Evening nesters

I AM ON HOLIDAYS! cant be much better than that.

I was laying in bed this morning thinking of the silly season and new year and knowing that we all have to have our plans in place and be here for support. I kind of feel left out that i cant drink over this time of year. We are going to my daughters for xmas and she has a spa. now how relaxing would that be with that ONE drink and it will be 37 degrees. Hot and a spa and xmas with the fam. Its a fantasy and no more. I could of course drink but i dont want to, i refuse to lose what i have gained in my life, i refuse to be miserable again and so even if i have my little secret pity party it will go no further as i am strong in my quit. We cant always have what we want in life. The positive is i know i will have a great day without al, i will have the kids, i will have the spa and diet coke and i will be able to drive sober.

Now the pork is on and vegetables and i am having a pear cocktail with a very supportive man.

Yes us oldies have the desire to have that one but we wont act on it, for all of us we never want to go back to that day 1. In 2 weeks the silly season will be over, we will all talk about how great a time we had being sober and 2017 will be here and we will start off a sober year. There is no better feeling to have achieved what we are doing.

Well i had best go and save the veges from being burnt and relax.

Thinking of you Byrd.

Take care xx

[mario]

Good morning nesters,
Yes folks Christmas time can bring back some sad & sorrowful memories for some of us, Everymorning I look for strength and direction in my day, to help me in my self pitying & even selfish thoughts. I find it helps me start the day in a good positive way & does actually give me the strength.

Thoughts to you Byrdy hoping you get through this tough time.

I back in Ireland , its hectic here & I haven't got a minute, I thought I came for a holiday & to relax :-) Maybe in a day or two it will calm down.

[j-vo]

Good morning,

Happy you're on holiday now, Ava! Enjoy.

Byrdie, I'm thinking of you and your losses. Said a little prayer for you my friend. And here are some cyber hugs.:hug:

I think we're all human and will have ups and downs, pity parties and feelings of being in control and sometimes on top of the world. We can't stop these feelings from coming, and we do just have to accept them and deal with them without the drink.

I realize that I missed work because of hangovers. I would call in the night before because I knew I couldn't make it. Just thinking about this yesterday, and how easy it is to get up and go to work when I don't drink. Well, not always easy, but definitely doable.

Have a good sober day.

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, Byrdie, that's a lot of losses this time of year,I think I'd have a hard time with feeling down and not being able to shake it,you're a strong person, speaking of fantasy, my friend/coworker is one of us,she knows, admits it and has quit for the most part, however she does drink"on special occasions" last week she had family over for an early Christmas dinner, ham and all the fixins,she got off work, went home took a nap,woke up started cooking and...... drinking, people started arriving one had jello shots,she just kept drinking, didn't eat ended up passing out, she told me the story on Monday and it sounded familiar of course and I told her she messed up by not being able to enjoy the dinner so she's cooking again Christmas eve for just her kids and hubs,stupid how this addiction can get so outta hand,anyway just shared that story cuz I don't want any of us to f#$k up Christmas like that,bleh,I want to enjoy my ham,dessert, hot chocolate, being aware,making memories, etc,wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday