Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Nar! Hey, Happy sober New Year!
So glad you are still enjoying the linoleum cut, how is your little star wiener?!

El,
My Star weiner, Elvis, is awesome. I love him to pieces. I also have a long hair rescue daschund named Mary. She is a beautiful dog. Last night I snuggled in with my two weenies and watched Netflix. It was SO nice not to wake up with a hangover. So nice to talk to you and I am glad you are going well xo
I just sent you an email, if it has changed let me know, mine is the same.

[Nursie]

Halllooooo Nesters! It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, and I'm feeeeeeling goooood! (That's me singing) lol
LS my heart just goes out to you so much. If you ever want to chat please PM me and we can exchange numbers/emails etc.

LC coming strong out of the gate! Sometimes these slips make the stick even stickier. This is your time my friend.

This is the year of making dreams come true for me. I'm all done feeling sorry for myself, all done with Cancer, all my grief is under control, and I'm using positive energy and prayer to change life around! Instead of saying "we can't afford that, I wish we had a house, I wish we could get more organized, stop procrastinating, her healthier, blah blah.
Now I am just doing it! We ARE buying a house by 2018. We ARE getting more organized. We ARE paying off my medical bills and student loans and We ARE raising our credit scores. This is happening this year and I will do everything in my power to reach these goals!
One thing I already did was surprise my husband with LASIK surgery. This was a dream come true for him and something he never would have done on his own.

Making dreams come true folks! 2017!!

[lifechange]

hi Nesters..
so I've put together a plan for the first 30 days. Things I remember that have helped me in the past. I would love any suggestions/recommendations of things that helped you all.
Very important is for me to get back in the habit of doing things daily, if even for just a few minutes, that keep my body healthy, which in turn helps my mind. For me that means meditation, some sort of movement or at least just stretching on my yoga mat to be aware of myself, eating as many whole foods as possible and as little sugar as possible. Then checking in here each and every morning and evening, at the least, and more often if I feel in any way in danger. Coming here at the first sign instead of thinking too much about it. Every time I've decided to drink again, I've come here afterwards to see posts that I'm quite sure would have stopped me. I WANT to be stopped. No more f******* around. I got a nice little journal for Christmas which I will carry around with me and write in, being unafraid that I'm writing something stupid or that someone might find it. Just whatever happens to be going on. I am carrying around a physical Toolbox which I used to use with essential oils, gum, a list of quick distractions, L-glut. I'm going to spend more time reading inspiring recovery stories in books and on blogs. I'm going to try my hardest to lose the shame involved with being an addict and look at all of the positive things that come out of making the choice to save my life, the choice of change. I'm going to keep my eyes open for sober real life friends and am going to try to do more fun activities with my existing friends and with the girls. I'm going to continue to find new ways to celebrate and relax and deal with stress. New evening/urge time rituals. I'm going to try and stay in the present moment. And to listen to others better.. to get out of my own obsessiveness. That's the beginning.. most importantly checking in here and taking care of myself physically. Putting my sobriety as my priority, my most important work.. you've all inspired me a lot. I know I can do this.

[Pavati]

Happy New Year, Everyone!

LC - that's an amazing list. For me what worked was remembering my worst hangover and how I NEVER wanted to feel like that again; exercise as much as possible, even if it was just a walk around the block; being accountable in person to my husband; and admitting that I couldn't ever drink again and have the life I wanted (that cleared the deck for me to come up with alternatives). You sound ready!

LS - Sorry about your situation. I am the caretaker of my parents as well, and while they are not yet in the situation you describe, they are having an increasingly harder time taking care of themselves. I believe they call those of us who care for parents AND kids "in betweeners" or something like that. How stressful that all must be, especially because it sounds like you don't have much ability to control or improve the situation.

Byrdie, those cookies are amazing!

Stay warm, healthy and booze free, nest. Take good care of yourselves.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Mario, I answered YES to all those questions when I first came here, too. It is hard to imagine how many positve changes have taken place since I ditched AL for good. There is not one single negative to being sober, if you think about it.
I cant believe how hard I fought for the privildge to drink...what a waste of time, energy and money! Life is 1000 times better without booze...I never thought Id be saying that!
Happy New Year, everyone! It IS worth the occasional discomfort, power thru those tough times. There is LIFE on the other side of AL. Byrdie

[Jkm123]

I'm back for a sober new year.
LV- that sounds like a great plan!
Pav- good to see you
Bydie- i am so greatful you and Lav are such a constant on this board. Thank you for all you do for all these years!
To me- you are strong, you are dedicated, and you can do this.

[Guitarista]

Good to see you back JK. Do whatever you have to do to reclaim your precious life. Go git it pilgrim.

'Yes you can'. This is something i'll be saying to myself and anyone else who strays within earshot this year. Why? Well it's true for one thing. And as i know and have seen that absolutely anything is possible, sharing is caring.

I answered YES to those questions too Mario. Good reminder to reflect on. Loving hearing everyone's plans, thoughts and ideas for 2017. I was watching a cheesy motivational vid earlier, but it had some useful moments. One idea was when we are feeling out of our depth with challenging circumstances, i can look at it as an opportunity to grow, as life and the universe really are FOR me, not against me. I do like the sound of this. Having said that, i wouldn't wish some life experiences on anyone. I look at the heavier stuff as a PITArse. My whole being sure is put to the test. My skills, practical resources, emotional resources, patience, inner stability. Where's my anchor?

For me, without an anchor (as much as i like the unknown and a bit of chaos like a lot of folk), i am drifting. Drifting without purpose or direction. I set myself adrift when i drink. I like having an anchor and knowing where my safe port and shelter is. From that anchored mooring, i cannot be moved. I can bend and sway with the storm, but i don't have to break, like bamboo. My sobriety is my anchor. My safe haven and shelter from the storm.

Must be day 142 but i never been one fo' countin'. Let's git it fruity. Yo!

[available]

Morning nesters

Quick check in for me. Back to work tomorrow and that is such a depressing thought but on the positive have had such a relaxing time off and really achieved not much but i did recharge these batteries for the start of another busy year.

LS, I do hope everything gets sorted with your parents, do you have any other people you could reach out to for support. No one told us when we were young that we would be looking after our parents in old age. I remind my kids now to appreciate my health as it may get harder as i get older. they cant envisage me older than i am and frailer. Though they do mention just chucking me in a nursing home which i know they would not do. Hugs to you.

LC for me i had to leave my ego at the door of MWO and listen to the oldies on here. Wise words were always spoken even if i didnt want to listen. At the end of the day they were right, they had the tools and they had succeeded to get sober. Without their knowledge and wisdom i dont think i would be where i am today. I do know we cannot do this alone.

Well the man wants to go on a bike ride today, sounds like a plan although it is drizzly but a bit of exercise and some quality time together. i am thinking lunch will be dryer.

Take care and happy sober 2017 xx

[jane27]

Happy New Year Nesters!

[Roobs]

Happy New year nesters,
LS, your parents situations sounds like an enormous amount of stress. I'm wondering if you have a resource/person you can talk to to help you cope in a healthy way while taking care of them as best you can. It's important for you to take care of yourself first. I know that is not easy to take care of ourselves first, I always struggle with whether I'm being selfish or am I doing what's best for me. Dealing with family is especially hard because you have so much history and it's difficult to view each other from an unbiased lens. Please keep checking and letting it out on MWO. Its a safe haven.
Last night was a good night. I was in my sweat pants all ready to do nothing, hadn't even showered after my workout. My husband walks in and says cmon lets go. We were going to see friends band 5-8 but I didn't want to go. He kind of guilted me which he never does so I really felt bad and pissed. So fine, put some jeans and boots on, stuck a little more product in hair and made lame attempt at makeup and went. Harumph. Of course I'm glad I did, got to see some friends listen to some great music. I did have a strong urge to grab a drink. I was jealous watching my normal drinker friend "sip" her drink. I pictured myself sucking that drink down and quickly ordering another and then obsessing about the next. The urge passed. I left a little early got some take out Thai food, got right back in my sweat pants and pigged out. My husband stayed and walked home by 8. It was a great night.

Happy to start the new year on day 48 for me! Let's do this!!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

I hope everyone had a good Jan 1
Of course it's good when you are feeling happy, healthy, rested & in-hung, right??

Eloise, glad to see you & I wish you a Happy New Year.

LS, that's a rough situation with your parents. No wonder you've been feeling so stressed :hug:
I don't know how things work where you are but over here getting social services involved would be a great place to start. Your parents obviously need professional help so that their needs can be met. This is certainly not something you should handle on your own. Is there any other family around to give you a hand? Be kind to yourself, please.

LC, glad you had a good AF holiday.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Jkm123]

Got dinner and a bath and some tv in. Going to walk the dogs and make linch and breakfast for tomorrow and do the dishes and then bed and day 1 of 2017 will be in the bag. I seem to be nervous to leave my house in a car to go somewhere, walking the dogs is fine but the thought of going to the store worries me.
Back in the day, when the clock hit 9 my af day was in the bag because thats when the liquor closes. One hour six minutes to go!
Thank y'all for being here!

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Another late check in from me in the wee hours of Monday (day 4) so glad to be here AF, white knuckling the first week again but slipping one day only rather than for a few weeks will be easier to recover from, albeit early days anyway but will stay positive :happy2:
Thank you all so much for letting me share my worries & responding in a compassionate, non judgemental way :hug: Although it doesn't change the situation, I feel less isolated & that helps greatly in the here & now. ABC rightly suggested councelling in my thread but also as Ava mentioned this early in sobriety my emotions are all over the place. So hopefully will avail of some in 6 -12 months, when I'm a bit stronger in my sobriety & the crisis isn't quite so current.
I do have an older brother who visits fortnightly & doesnt offer much help though I don't feel resentful. I think my parents willingness to seek help is really what needs to change. Until then I think any support myself or my brother offer is in some ways adding to the problem.
I am sorry, I have taken so much from the forum recently & haven't given very much back so I really am grateful for your time and patience xx
Wishing all a safe and sober Monday
Ls

[narilly]

LS, it definitely gets easier as the days go by. I used to obsess about AL all the time and now I don't. I am grateful for every sober day I have.
Mario, I answered yes to all those questions too. I don't feel that way anymore though.

Ava, are you still working at the same place? Your boss was such an ass.

Hello GMan

Lav, Byrdie, nice to read your posts. You both are so supportive, I am so glad you are here.

SL- hugs from me

Goodnight

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters!
I'm also up in the early hours on day 4, LS.. I awoke at 4:30 hoping to fall back to sleep, then finally gave up at 5, got up and made a coffee. Not drinking makes the stress of not having quite enough sleep much less. I tend to think (and I hope I'm right, 'cause it's what I'm doing at the moment, as well) that any contribution we make here is useful. I think you're giving a lot by not being afraid to open up and be completely honest with your struggles. Sometimes it seems easier to keep it inside and just "deal" with it on our own.. I know I often want to show what I can do, to prove something. For me, it's sooo difficult to ask for help, to feel like I'm a burden.. but it's so important to learn. We can't do it all alone.. So, really, thank you for being here. Also for coming right back and admitting the truth when you drank.. allowing yourself to be completely honest and start again on day 1. You gave me the strength to do the same. Otherwise, I think I may have let it slide, carrying on as normal, thinking, "just one day doesn't matter". :hug: and continued strength to you..

G-man, what a great post. I feel deep in my heart that sobriety is my anchor as well. It's the only thing in my life that I have complete control over, that no one outside of myself can f*** with or take away from me. This morning it feels like one with meditation.. like a great, very safe and promising place. When everything else is falling apart, those 2 things can stay solid and whole..

Ava, you are so right. I don't think I was giving enough attention to what the old-timers were saying. Truth is, this last time, I just wanted to drink. I wanted to escape. I didn't want to deal with myself or anyone else. And I knew going into it that I would have major regrets and have to go through the whole beginning shit again.. though now, even though I wouldn't choose to do it again, I'm not completely depressed that it happened because I see more clearly than ever what needs to be done. Just got to keep it moving forward.

I can't remember what else I wanted to respond to.. but I'm sure it will come to me later. Love to you all..