Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

I know what it was, Welcome back, Jkm! I love the note to yourself.. ""To me- you are strong, you are dedicated, and you can do this.""
It is true.. you can do this.
It's a great tool, I think, to write ourselves positive notes each day..

[Nursie]

A friend of mine just posted how upset he was on facebook because a job situation didn't work out. He was brought in to sub in a position, and now that the business is under new ownership, the new owners brought back the person who was let go. Follow?
So the friend of mine posted that "I lost 13 years of sobriety over this"
I am so stunned. And saddened! I reached out to him but he didn't want to talk about drinking, he wanted to talk about his job and how he needs people on his side. No doubt drinking again today!
I'm upset about this. Over a job? A part time gig? It doesn't even make sense to me.

[mario]

Good morning nesters, Still a holiday here in Ireland so nothing back to normal yet, Tomorrow it all kicks in...

Good to see everyone pushing on with there goals & plans, I myself have a plan to, I am going to treat chocolate ,biscuits cakes, ice cream, as I did alcohol, As I need to stop being a glutton with it, moderation of eating it does not work for me & having just one is not working, So I going abstinence on it completely, wish me luck & strength as I know its going to be hard.

My last day here in Ireland as I head back to Europe tomorrow, have a great day all :-)

[Byrdlady]

Welcome back, Jkm, you can relax now, the struggle is over!
AL won again....it wins every time. There is no winning against AL. This came as a relief to me. I fought it for a very long time, but once I finally realized that this went wayyyy beyond will-power, and it wasnt a character flaw or weakness, the road to recovery became clearer. We are so glad you are back!
Nursie, un-nerving about your friend cashing in his 13 years, that scares the crap out of me. I wonder if he had let his support slack off? As Daisy's by-line says, the relapse starts long before the drink gets drunk. I operate out of fear so checking in here every day is a small price to pay for maintaining my quit. When all else fails, lead by example.
Mario, I am with you, gotta do something about these 5 pounds I have gained over the holidays. Ive tried everything to lose weight, except diet and exercise, so I guess Im going to have to resort to drastic measures.
This is my last day of vacation, I think we are going to take the ferry over to a quint little town and do some antuque browsing. It is spritzing rain, but its the last day of vacation and Im determined to enjoy it!, bah!
Hope everyone has an easy day!!
Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters,Jkm,glad you're back Nursie,that's a sad story,I wonder what drinking would feel like after 13 years off,probably right back to the exact spot or worse when he quit,today feels like back to reality,I'm sad Christmas is over now,shouldn't have been such a grouch the first 3 weeks before it! I vow to embrace Dec 1 this coming year,you guys remind me when I start whining about Christmas when thanksgiving rolls around how I felt right now,sad that it went so quickly when I should've been grateful each day,Mario,I'm with you on the moderation/elimination of some foods,wishing everyone a great AF day

[Jkm123]

I lost my post grrr
Thanks for the welcome back
I'll remember to copy next time.
Have a great day all

[KENSHO]

Happy 2017 Everyone! We had a lovely time at the Reggae concert, except that it lasted until 1:00am (I'm not cut out for that anymore!), and we enjoyed spending time with out other good friends at their mountain home. They are the ones that usually cause me to struggle the most while not drinking - I am usually really nostalgic. Instead, I noticed that my girlfriend drank an entire bottle of Proseco herself, and then went to the next - and my husband and friend's wife were very hungover the next morning. They looked downright poisoned. Why is that ok to do to oneself? Because it's an addiction, that's why. The fun lasts maybe 2 hours tops, then the need for more and the ill effects trump the good feeling. So utter yuck for much of the late evening, the entire restless night, and the entire next hungover day - all for a couple hours of a high? I find it hard to watch now, but try to focus on how glad I am to feel clear, clean and happy.

LC - so glad you are posting here again. I know it feels like a struggle now, but keep putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you will stack up quite a few days. Sitting though sadness and discomfort is a HUGE skill that comes with sobriety. It changed my life when I realized that the universe is constantly seeking balance, which means that every sad, hard, angry, uncomfortable moment has something good to offer. We as humans are so afraid to feel hard feelings - but it is when we accept them, and breathe through them, that they eventually vanish, and we are left with some growth. Try to view the hard stuff that way - there is a reason we feel it all.

Also, I wanted to address your plan. You had such a great list of great changes that will happen as you leave alcohol behind! You will lose the shame with time, and a whole lot of other really amazing things and feelings will replace it. It really helped me when just beginning to focus on tools and actions that would help in any instance I had cravings. If I could recommend something? Try not to take on your entire life right now, and focus on very specific things that will help moment to moment. For me, I had these immediate things in my "plan":
1. Don't drive by or enter a liquor store
2. cut up my "booze" credit card
3. get all the booze out of my immediate reach
4. at my witching hours (driving home at 4-5pm & upon entering the house at 5:30), have an alternate thing to put in my mouth. This included gum and snacks in the car, and then the minute I got home, I poured myself a non-AL drink (sparkling water for me) and I kept it in my hand for the entire night. Having something ELSE to put in my mouth helped a lot - and I ate a lot.
5. Have some distractions listed to do when cravings hit:
- look out the window and see how many colors I could count of things I saw
- counted the windows in my house
- counted backward from 100
- looked up all the species of cats in the world
- looked up the history of Eqyptians
- walked the dog (LOVED THIS ONE - getting outside with my pup changed my energy like no other)
- sang a song at the top of my lungs
etc.
One foot in front of the other - focus on getting through now, and time will pile up, as well as so many other good changes Hugs!

LS, please no apologies for taking when you need it. The beauty of this place is that we contribute what we can, when we can, and take when we need it. Sorry to hear of your struggles, sending you strength.

G - yep, looking forward to continuing sobriety long into 2017 and beyond. Sobriety is an anchor, and, to me, that is because it allows us to be present with ourselves. THAT is the true anchor - honoring ourselves without altering substances. Hope you had a good night out with music and friends!

Byrdie, hope you enjoyed the ferry and antique shops. I love antique shops, and love when I have clients that appreciate old "loved" found items!

Have a wonderful Monday/Tuesday Everyone, and JUST KEEP TRYING. As long as you don't drink, you will see the rewards come in - some subtle, some grand. I have never felt more grateful for not drinking. My old "things to work on" are still there - organizing better, being less indulgent with my time, life balance, workouts - but I appreciate life and the opportunity to be here and interact with others on a level I have never previously known.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Welcome back, JKM! I can tell by the tone of your post that you don't feel great. This is going to be your first sober year! That's exciting! Stay close, take care of yourself, and let us help.

Lost Soul - Anything you write here is a contribution - thinking about things others pose is a form of helping ourselves. I recommend counseling, too. It really helped me.

Kensho - great list. Specificity is important. Sounds like you had fun.

Nursie - I'm with Byrdie - Hearing that someone drank after 13 years scares the crap out of me. I have maintained a healthy fear of relapse, and that keeps me on my toes. When I first came here someone I thought was very strong drank after a few months. It threw me for a loop! I was thinking "if that happened to her, it could certainly happen to me!" Byrdie and NS talked me down - I am in control of MY OWN sobriety. I read a bunch on relapse (Google it!) and listened to the Bubble Hour on Relapse Prevention.

Byrdie - I'm going to take your lead and do something today.

Pav

[lifechange]

Hello!
Kensho, that is really good advice. My plan needs to be more specific about the basics. All of our shops have booze but I'm walking with purpose quickly through and completely ignoring the bottles at the check out stand (how lame is that? right next to the cigarettes and candy bars!). I don't have a drop of anything in the house and I'm going to avoid restaurants I used as an excuse to drink. Great idea to just grab something to drink the minute I walk in the door.. and I have been eating A LOT. I'm trying to avoid sugar because it makes me feel terrible.. and yesterday and today it worked, when I felt like eating sweets, to have some high fat or high protein, salty whole food. I've got a list of distractions. and I'm keeping this, that you wrote, in the forefront of my mind, ""It changed my life when I realized that the universe is constantly seeking balance, which means that every sad, hard, angry, uncomfortable moment has something good to offer."" It's so true..

Pauly, I'm also a little sad about Christmas being over.. mostly because my state of mind was so crap that I didn't enjoy it at all. Just forced myself through it.. Next year will be better! We all have to remind each other at the beginning of December, like you said.

Daisy, where are you? I tried to write you a pm but it seems your mailbox is full.. Come and join us again in the Nest. 2017 is definitely our year to free ourselves from the burden and heartbreak of addiction..:hug:

ok. off to read and watch a movie.. then early to bed.
xx

[madonmehndi]

Hi all,

I am missing Daisy too, have left her a visitor message as her inbox is still full, also AWOL is Neo, anyone heard from him?

I am feeling positive and looking forward to many more sober days, weeks and months ahead

[Jkm123]

Hey guys, checking in. It's 4 and im at work and the thoughts have started but I'm pushing them out! Another really go pidcast is recovery elevator and that sober guy. Recovery elevator got me through yesterday. I plan to get a frost from Wendy's for the drive home and have gateraid when i get home. I took benadryl and slept ok last night, i work up 4 times but i got back to sleep. The back of my head hurts constantly, i don't know what that is, and I'm eating alot but that seams to be a theme here.
Glad everyone is well and checking in, thanks for listening. I can make ut to 9 pm.

[NoraC]

Great plan jkm. Whatever gets you thru the drive home and in the door without alcohol is the way to go. Are you drinking lots of water? Wonder if dehydration could account for the headache? Yes, it is very important not to let yourself get hungry. Keep snacks with you at all times. My cravings got worse when it was my drinking time and I was hungry.
And if it was a bad day, I went to bed early.

[Jkm123]

Made it home, walked the dogs, eating dinner then bath and bed, maybe another dog walk. I'm sad tonight, not sure why. The headache it annoying, i have been drinking 64 oz of water yesterday and today and 8 oz or so of gateraid, but still a headache. DH was drunk when i got home, thats annoying too. I just wanna go to bed. Thanks for listening hope everyone is well.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It rained all day here in Lav-land, my chickens are a muddy mess! Glad they live in their own house, ha ha!!! Rain expected all day tomorrow as well but it's better than snow I guess.

Welcome back Jkm, glad you are here with us!

LS & LC, just hang in there & trust that everything will be OK. We will all be OK provided we keep kicking AL to the curb

Byrdie, I know where you are but where does the ferry go? Now I am curious!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[TJAF]

Happy New Year all. Made it my fourth New Year's eve without a drink. Hooray. I don't post much but I do read this forum often. Proud of all of you. Some may stumble others prevail but you and I all have something in common and that is that we have the courage to face alcohol and despite setbacks we all get up, dust ourselves off and try again. I'm sure all of us who have put some distance between our last drink and the present will tell you all that it wasn't always that way . Keep trying...one thing is certain, you have to keep trying. It will stick I can promise you that.