Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Quick check in.

Pauly - I'm with you today - I am grumbly and out of sorts. Not sure I can say it is post holiday, however. I think it is winter. Good thing I don't live in Canada (hi, Narilly and ABC!)

My husband really likes to be a jerk in the mornings. Mostly I can take a step back and understand that it is not his finest hour - he's not a morning person, but I HATE how his moods can set a negative tone for the day. He's usually pretty easy going, so we have to figure out this morning thing. Grrr.

Good for you, LC, in being honest with your feelings.

Ann - Resentment IS the enemy of sobriety. Good for you for noticing. A move sounds stressful, but also sounds appealing to me. I have lived in the same SMALL apt. for 17+ years and we have accumulated TOO MUCH STUFF. A move would force us to pare it down at least. Like Pauly, I like to move things around, and it has been hard in this small place. At least you'll have that...

Welcome back, ADP. What else is going on? Stick close - you'll never regret not drinking.

Hope all you sick people feel better fast. I had a BAD cold, but it went away quickly.

Off to work. Happy Monday, all.

Pav

[ADP]

2016 was a totally aweful year!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just the drinking, but all of life seemed against me and I fell into my usual trap, AL! It did help up to a point, then my health really nose-dived and shocked me on the right path............so, to say before bed, today has been tough, but is a defo first dry day for a long time. More here in the days to come, but sooo tired need some more sleep..lol!
Thanks for the kind words here,
Ax

[j-vo]

Here comes another crab...didn't sleep well last night, waking up thinking of my kid. I am exhausted and haven't moved off the couch except to do some ironing, make lunches and let my dog out to pee. I don't even think I let myself pee. Today was a rough day, but I'm glad I can say it's almost over and most importantly, a sober one.

Ann, I'm gonna think about what you said. Take the pill when you're feeling that way, or when I have a wee bit of resentment or anger or any trigger. I'm going to think about that as it may save me when I have the f-it's. Shit. You're seriously a genius and just helped me put another tool in my box! Thank you!!

I hope everyone starts to feel better. LC, strength to you, friend. Good to be hanging out together again.

Peace everyone.

[j-vo]

I guess what I mean is that I thought I had to take that pill continuously. Never did I think I could just pop a half and I'd be out of harm's way. Blockhead, I am sometimes.

[paulywogg]

J-vo,many,many times I woke up after relapsing wishing I had just taken the emergency antabuse pill I keep in my purse at all times, when and if that urge hits I'm popping that sucker super fast!

[Roobs]

Hi all,

Still feeling like garbage but I had the luxury of not having to work and being able to take a nap during the day. Yay.
Resentment and anger are huge triggers. It's so easy to have the f-it's and reflexively grab a drink. Maybe a stash of your favorite treat would be good to have on hand instead. Ann it sounds like you're already aware and prepared, good for you!
LC, you're sounding like a grown up! Lay it all out there I say, No need to sit on all that pent up frustration and anger. It's also a great example for your girls to learn how to communicate if a situation or relationship is bothering them. I've spent a lot time not speaking my mind for fear I was out of line or I was insecure or I wasn't cool or I felt dumb for feeling the way that I did/do. Ironically were always trying to teach our kids to speak up for them selves, express their opinions, stand up for what's right, don't be afraid. Just like Jvo, I'm going to put into practice what I want for my kids for myself as well. Huh, what an epiphany.
I listened to some one minute ,messages from Belle (Tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking)today. It's nice to add a voice to my online support. I still plan on listening to the bubble hour but in the mean time I've been reading some of her blog Unpickled. Good stuff. It's so nice not to feel alone.
Hugs to all.
Roobs

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wasn't a bad day for a Monday except for this continuing below freezing weather. I think it's kicking my sinuses too, yuck.

Welcome back ADP, make yourself comfortable & hang out with us

Ann, resentment was the cornerstone of my drinking career. IF things had gone MY way once in a while I really think I could have avoided the whole damn mess. Now that I have pulled myself out of that hole nothing & no one will ever put me back there, if you know what I mean. Keep your focus on what is good for you! Everything & everyone else can f*ck off, right?
Don't look too far ahead, focus on yourself & today until you are really feeling stronger.

J-vo, one day at a time for you too. Keep the faith, both you & your son are going to be fine :hug:

I hope everyone has a restful & very peaceful night. Wake up feeling stronger & all around better tomorrow

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good evening, Nesters. A 12 hour day today, Im beat. I found out today my boss is coming in earlier than I thought, so I will be heading out of town tomorrow for two nights on the road.
Its so cold I havent felt my feet in three days!
ADP! I remember you! Welcome back, as you know, we have lots of success here. You just have to be coachable.... after learning that the hard way, I finally got it to stick. We are so goad you're here.
Hope everyone has a wonderful evening. Xoxoxo, Byrdie

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters!

Welcome back ADP! I'm early on in my quit but am feeling good and very proud of myself with each day I go to bed sober. Great job with getting through day 1.. you can do it and you are doing it! Stick close and post often.. especially if you are struggling. I promised myself that if I felt like drinking (or even had any hint of a craving) I would RUN to MWO and read first.. and it has already helped me once not to drink.
Good to have you here!

Ann, resentment/anger have also been my main reason/excuse for drinking.. now I'm literally avoiding those things when I feel they are too much and I'm in danger. Taking on Lav's, "Keep your focus on what is good for you! Everything & everyone else can f*ck off".. because I honestly believe that, if necessary, everything else in my life can take a back seat for at least a few hours or a day so that I can gather myself together. What use am I to anyone or anything if I don't? I hear you with the moving.. I didn't think I'd have to again (I've moved 10 times in the past 20 years) but it does have its advantages. After the PIA of packing and lugging boxes.. oh, and of renovating..yuck.

ok, off to work. Wising you all a lovely day.. or at least more than bearable! :hug:

[mario]

Good morning nesters, I have to start getting up a bit earlier as I putting my self under pressure before I even go out the door.

Welcome ADP & Anne, great forum here to express what you wish , I don't know how many times I tried to stop before I actually did, In hindsight it was all half heatred attempts & really I had no intention of stopping,I was more or less waiting for the storms & anger that I had created to calm down,& when I peacked out of my self induced bubble , I would declare that I am alright now & I can control my drinking, usually by blaming everything & everyone else on my actions. It took years for the penny to drop & I feel very lucky that I was aware that it did & I really acted on it.

The way I look at it is none of us be here if we could drink socially or be like other normal drinkers, if we could do that we would not be here, When we accept that we cant drink & give in and let alcohol win this battle, we can then come back & win the war, & it is a war, you die early or you don't. I am so glad I choose the right decision & used all and every tool out there to get on the winning side.

have a great day folks. its good to be here.

[Neo]

Hi Guys,
Had a slip over new years break which really didn't serve any purpose so looking at kickstarting my quit off again. Did over 40 days beer and smokes and can do it again. Am going to check wether I have sleep apnea as I was still tired after 40 days . I hate the insipid blame game our minds play on ourselves and the self bashing but will keep at it

[Nursie]

Hi ADP stick close!
Mario- I was just thinking the same thing as I am rushing to read through posts while my shower is waiting for me and I have to get to work. I have to wake up earlier!
Neo- sorry about your slip, hang with us ok?

And I have always said the AB prevents the f-its!! You cannot act on a f-it if you cannot drink which forces you to work your program which keeps you sober and we never regret being sober!
Have a goo day in the nest peeps!

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters,Neo,you will do 40 days+ again the tools are there we just hafta use them,Mario,its been so great having you around here again,meant to tell you that awhile ago ugh,having a captain bloato morning and all my pants feel like spanx! Thought I was doing well on not eating so much,getting my exercise but grrr,I feel gross! Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday

[Byrdlady]

Hitting the road! Hope everyone has a good day! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Hi ADP, Neo. Glad you are back - stick close, it gets really, really good after some AF time. Trust that! '

JVO, I don't have teenagers yet, so I'm sure I don't fully understand what I'm in for. But it helped me a ton when I realized that my kids are on their own journey. Yep. I can (and do) hurt for them, and I can (and do) everything I can to help them avoid costly or dangerous mistakes, and I try to share any wisdom I have learned in my 41 years... but in the end, they are here to live their own lives, and there is only so much I can do. They have to go through their own stuff. You have been so loving and supportive, your son is lucky! Glad to see you back here.

Mario, I tried again and again too. I waffled between "I hate alcohol" and "I'm not that bad". In the end, I was considering taking antibuse, and I thought about alcohol all of the time. That's no way to live. It didn't matter how much I drank - but that it wrecked me. I hated living for alcohol. Not having hangovers or being irritable or forgetful or the thousand other things I don't have to deal with now is a plus too!

For me, I finally realized that ALCOHOL IS NOT AN ANSWER. Life is still stressful, I still feel empty and sad at times, or very anxious or angry, but I know to my core that alcohol is a fake solution. It doesn't actually solve or make any of that better - it just masks the pain and saves it for a later day. Now I have days when I think, "when I used to feel like this, I would drink - should I drink?" And then I laugh because I know that it won't help me. What a liar alcohol is. So instead, I exercise when extremely anxious, eat better to control my blood sugar, journal and write, and sometimes just breathe and know that "everything passes" and our job is to experience it, no matter how uncomfortable. Then we get through it and hopefully learn from it and move on to sunnier days.

Anyway, that is what has made the difference for me - being absolutely clear that alcohol was never an answer.